by Marie Cole
I let it happen, I let his hands, lips and tongue roam my body. He assumed everything was forgiven. He made love to me on my couch, slow and sensual. He whispered about how beautiful I was, how he wanted me, how sorry he was. He made promises for the future. And I believed him. Every single word.
We had sex several more times that evening and in the morning he reluctantly left. He kissed me goodbye and got into his car, heading for home. He had a job interview to get to. I watched him drive away and was reminded by my stomach’s loud roar that I hadn’t eaten in a while. I quickly showered and then headed to the market.
* * *
The store was unusually crowded for a weekday morning. People were milling around me, trying to get what they needed as quickly as possible. I was stuffing apples into a clear plastic bag, humming softly in my post-coital glow. I gasped softly when I saw tattooed arms come around my shoulders from behind. But the fear quickly dissipated, knowing those tattoos belonged to Rio. His large arms lifted me just a little from the ground. I let out a little yip and turned around to face him when my feet were safely back on the floor. “Hey, big brother.” My grin faded when I looked over his somber face.
The big bear of a man let his hands fall to his sides. His eyebrows furrowed slightly with what seemed to be a bit of confusion. “Who,” He shook his head, “I mean, how ya doing, girlie?”
My grin was back due to his little joke. "I'm fine. Is there a reason why I wouldn't be fine?" I reached out and gently jabbed his bicep with my curled fist.
He shrugged his shoulders and then scratched at the back of his head. He had something he wanted to say but he knew I wasn't going to like it. “Just… No reason. You know me, Big Bro has to worry about you all the time.”
I narrowed my gaze on him. “You’re lying.”
“It’s nothing, dude. Don’t worry about it.”
I reached out and flicked him on his right thigh, close to his business. He jumped and slapped my hand away. "Hey! No touchin’ the goods.”
"Spill it, Rio! What the hell do you know?"
He sighed and scratched the back of his head again. "I ran into Bryan…"
"Oh? When? Just now?” I looked around the crowded market, wondering if he was there.
He shook his head and looked around, as if Bryan might come out of nowhere and surprise us. “No, I ran into him the other night.”
I shrugged, “Okay, and…?”
He put a hand on my shoulder and crouched down to look me in the eye. “I’m not here to stir up trouble, Elly. Much less say anything to hurt you. You know that.”
I rolled my eyes as I pushed his hand off my shoulder. I was a big girl, dammit. “Oh my god, Rio! You’re not doing very well with ripping off whatever band-aid I have on my nuts.”
He threw his hands up, shaking his head. “You know what? This was a bad idea. Just forget I said anything.” He turned away from me.
I dropped the bag of apples on top of the loose ones, “Uh-uh!” I followed after him, grabbed his arm and ran in front of his path. “Not so fast.”
The muscles of his jaw tightened. “I saw Bryan at Trix the other night.”
I reached up and grabbed his face, holding him by his ear, pulling him down until he was almost eye to eye with me. “Jesus, Rio. Just spit it out. I’m a big girl, I swear to God, I’ll be okay. What happened? What did he say?”
He nibbled nervously on his lip ring and then spoke, “It wasn’t what he said, it was who he was with. It was Siobhan.”
I nodded and let him go, crossing my arms protectively over my chest. “He probably just ran into her and started catching up.”
He sighed again and then pulled out his phone. He messed with it for a minute and then turned it so I could see it. It was a movie. I frowned at the phone but pressed play anyway. Even in the crowded store I could hear the thumping of the bass in the club. The camera was focused on Bryan and Siobhan. They were kissing each other rather passionately while Bryan’s hand roamed over her. His hips pressed against hers rather roughly, Siobhan’s leg was wrapped around his waist as he kept her pressed against the wall. I felt the energy leave me and I shook my head in disbelief.
"I… Why…why would he come crawling back to me last night if he'd just…?" I looked at Rio for the answer.
"Siobhan has a man, Elly. Not for long, I suspect, but for now she does. I guess he was just biding his time until she is single again?” Rio’s eyes moved over me before settling on my face. “I’m sorry, Elly.”
I scoffed, “Don’t be sorry for me. Be glad that I found out now.”
“As much as I don’t want to admit it, I had hoped that it was you, though I don’t like to think about you doing that.” His face scrunched up in disgust which pulled a laugh from me. “Let me give you a ride home, kiddo?”
“Thanks.” I sighed, already plotting what I was going to say to his punk-ass when I spoke with him next.
He put his large arm around my shoulder and led me to the parking lot where his beat-up Ford Taurus was waiting. I still held his phone in my hand and I sent the movie to my phone. I put his phone on his thigh and looked out the window as he drove the short distance to my apartment.
"So, I guess we need to find a new lead guitarist, huh?”
“Nope. If he wants to confront us and puss out he’ll have to do it himself.”
“Fair enough. We’ll see if he’s man enough to show up for practice.” I winced as his grip tightened on the steering wheel; his knuckles white.
“Are you going to punch him?”
“I sure as hell want to.”
I smiled and looked out the window, “I think you’re going to have to share with James.”
“How’d Bryan get that shiner anyway? He’d never tell me. I liked to think it was you, but I know better.”
“What do you mean you know better? I’d totally hit him.”
“I never said you wouldn’t hit him, I just doubted you’d leave a mark like that on him.”
He was teasing me. I grinned and shrugged my shoulder. “Pft. Whatever. Kent hit him.” I said softly, crossing my arms over my chest again.
“Lucky bastard. I might get the chance yet.” We arrived at my apartment and he put the car in park.
I looked over at him, “We weren’t together, I don’t think.” I put my head back and looked at the parachute ceiling, it was going to fall down any day now. “Kent kind of, he um…”
“Hey. You don’t have to tell me what happened. I’m just glad someone punched that jackass.” I felt his large warm hand come to rest on my knee. “I’m sorry, Elly.”
I looked away. Did everyone know how much of an asshole he was except me? I sniffled softly and reached for the door handle. I didn’t want him to see me cry.
I made it to the door before I heard his brakes squealing in agony as he did a three-point turn and headed for the highway.
Chapter 53
Once safely inside my apartment, I pulled out my phone.
Me: Hey. How did your interview go?
Bryan: Great. I expect I'll get a job offer by the end of the week.
Me: I ran into Rio at the grocery store.
Bryan: Yeah? How's he doing? Was he pissed we missed practice this week?
Me: He's good. We need to practice this week for our gig next weekend. What time is good for us to meet at your place?
Bryan: I'm flexible, I've got nothing going on.
Me: Great. We'll come over tomorrow night then.
Bryan: Cool. And how about you? Are you coming over tonight?
Me: I don't think so.
Bryan: Why not? I'm going to miss you.
My cheeks were flaming as I attached the video and then sent it to his phone. I waited for a few minutes and then hurled my phone to the floor. I was not going to be used as his place card until Siobhan decided she wanted him back. I was a lot of things, but that was not one of them.
I threw on my running clothes and ran until I was utterly exhausted. I came home and showe
red, then picked up my phone to see if Bryan had replied. Two missed phone calls and voicemail were waiting for me.
I pushed play on the voicemail and held the phone to my ear, “This should be good,” I muttered.
“Elly, alright, I don’t have an excuse. I’d been talking to Shiv for a few days and she wanted to go out, so we did. It’s exactly what you saw.” There was a pause. “It’s who I am.”
I pulled back the phone and sat down on the bed, digesting his message. He was a Siobhan-fucker? Or an asshole? Or a player? A lady’s man? What exactly was he?
A liar.
I dialed my mom’s number and put the phone to my ear with a shaking hand.
After a few rings she picked up, “Hello?”
“Mom? Do you have a minute?” I hated that my voice sounded weak and vulnerable.
“Of course I do. What’s wrong?” I heard moving and shifting on her end of the phone.
“Mom, what’s wrong with me? Why do I pick such losers?”
"We all make mistakes. Sometimes you have to make a lot of mistakes before you finally find what you're looking for."
"Do all men cheat…?" Every single one that I knew had. Even Kent, as much as I hated to admit it to myself.
“No, not all of them…” she said softly.
“Most of them?”
“No, Elly.”
“I just… I don’t know if I want to be in a relationship again. It doesn’t seem worth it.”
"You know better than that. I said the same thing several times myself, but I found someone that changed that." The phone shifted briefly and her voice was thrown outwards. "Just shuffle up, I'll be there in a little while." She was talking to someone else.
"Mom, I'll let you go... I didn't mean to interrupt your game with Kent's mom." I assumed that's who she was talking to, anyway.
“No, he can wait. His mom had an appointment so Kent came to sit in with me.” I bolted upright.
“Oh god, Mom. I gotta go.” I didn’t want Kent to even get a little hint of what I was talking about with mom.
“Elly, he can’t hear you. He’s in the other room.” I heard the frown in my mom’s voice.
“He’s smart and he has good ears. He’ll put the pieces together and I don’t want him to know that I’m still a loser, okay? I need to keep a little of my dignity.”
“A loser? Elly, you’re not a loser. And he knows it too. He spent the last hour telling me how terrific he thinks you are.” My mom chuckled but I didn’t think it was funny; not at all. Especially considering what Kent had done to me.
“Mom! Oh, God. You should tell him to get friends that are his own age. Unless you two have a Mrs. Robinson thing going on…”
“I don’t have a chance with him, Elly. He’s in love, and—”
I cut her off, “Don’t say it! Don’t. He’s a cheater too, Ma. And a liar. Just don’t get your hopes up where he’s concerned. I’m not going to be with him, okay?”
“It's too late for that. They’ve been raised to the roof since you two were young whippersnappers.”
“Have you been drinking?”
“Maybe a few glasses of wine.”
“Great. I’ll talk to you later, Mom.”
“Elly…” She shuffled on her end again, “Oh, okay Kent. Thanks for coming by, tell your mom I missed her today and I’ll see her next time.” More shuffling and she whispered into the phone. “Elly, I think he might be headed your way!”
“Oh God. Bye Mom!” I hung up and looked at the time. It was almost dinner time. I quickly got dressed to go out and then headed out the door, walking the back way to the bars. On the way I called James and he agreed to take me out and help me wash away my sorrows. I knew he’d cheer me up, even if he didn’t really mean any of the silly things he said. He was like a gay best friend; completely harmless.
I was sitting at the bar when I felt the familiar slap on my left thigh. James leaned in close and spoke into my ear. “Finally you’ve invited me to go slumming with you. I’ll show you a good time, baby girl.” He leaned back and waggled his eyebrows playfully.
I grinned and pointed to my glass which was already empty. “You’re buying, right?”
“Hell yeah.” He flagged down the bartender, ordering himself a beer and me another screwdriver. He turned back to me while we waited for our drinks, “So that tool picked Shiv over you?”
I shrugged. “She’s got great boobies.”
He nodded as he looked away. I could see him pulling up a mental image of her boobs. “Yeah she does.” I laughed and nudged him with my elbow to knock him out of his boob trance. He grinned and looked at me. “But seriously, doll, so not cool. I’d take you over Shiv any day. You probably make all those pretty sounds that drive men like me wild in the sack.”
I looked over his face, he was a handsome guy, but just not the one for me. I put my hand on his cheek, “You’re going to find your girl, James. But she’s not me.”
“You think I don’t know that? You’re too good for the likes of me.” He moved in slow and I thought for sure he was going to kiss me but his lips landed on my forehead instead. “Now quite this sappy shit and let’s get wasted.” His eyes moved over a trashy-looking lady at the other end of the bar. He lifted his beer to her with a grin.
I smiled and sipped my drink. “You can do better than that.”
“Yeah, but I don’t wanna do better than that tonight. Unless… You’re offering?”
I grinned and shrugged. “You never know. Might happen around drink ten.”
He grumbled and sipped his beer, “I’m not sure I can hold out that long.”
I laughed softly, “So don’t, goofball.” I picked up the bar menu and flipped it over, looking for something to eat. Nothing looked that appealing. “Hungry?” I glanced at him and his raised eyebrow made me laugh. “Right… Forgot who I was asking. What do you want?”
“You buying, Princess?”
“Of course. I’ll buy the food and you buy the drinks; seems totally fair to me.” We ordered a plate of nachos and two burgers. We were halfway through the plate of nachos when James started cussing up a storm. I was on my third shot and feeling pretty damn loose. I tried to look around him and fell back, laughing as my ass crashed against the floor.
James hopped off his stool and picked me up. He put his arms around me, his hands starting to grope my ass. I giggled and tried to push him away. “James, what are you doing?”
And then I heard Bryan’s voice behind his back. “James, hey man. What’s…” His voice trailed off as his eyes met mine. I grinned and wiggled my fingers in his direction. James pulled me into his side as he swung around to face Bryan.
“Hey dude, just chillin’ with Elly.” Siobhan was holding Bryan’s hand. I started to laugh as Bryan’s face started to turn red with anger and I turned my face into James arm to try to hide it. James pat my head.
“What the hell is so funny, Elly?” I dared a peek and started to bust out laughing again.
“I just… You’re just…” I twirled my hair around my finger slowly as I wondered if Siobhan ever came with Bryan. I wasn’t going to ask her but damn if I wasn’t curious. “Hey Siobhan. How’s it going?”
She nodded at me and offered a little smile, “I’m alright. How are you?”
“Drunk,” I snickered. James grinned at my side and pulled me closer.
“She’s just drinking off some dumb-ass.” Bryan nodded, acknowledging that it was him James was referring to.
“We’ll see you later, then.” James nodded and waited until Bryan was turned around before calling out to him.
“Bryan?” When Bryan turned James drew back his fist and punched him in his other eye. Bryan fell back against Siobhan who absorbed his weight and then circled around him, her hands at his waist, trying to look at his injury.
I was drunk but I still gasped, shocked by the boy-on-boy violence. “James!” He didn’t give Bryan time to recover and come back at him. He threw money on the bar, grabbed my h
and and pulled me out of the building.
I glanced back to see Bryan staring at me with his good eye. Guess he messed with the wrong chick.
Chapter 54
After he kissed me goodbye on the forehead, James pulled away from the curb and headed for Rio’s. Apparently James still wanted to punch something and Rio’s gym was going to be the remedy for that.
I looked up at the stars: they moved in a circular motion and then cut sharply to the side as I staggered towards my apartment door.
Once safely inside my condo I pulled out my phone and texted Kent. He was the only one I could call. I knew that I wanted to be held and comforted. And I knew that Kent would be just the guy for the job. He said he loved me after all, so he could damn well prove it. If he could prove that he would be there for me, it might even help in repairing our friendship.
Me: Hey. If you’re done cavorting with my mother you can come over. Bring Twizzlers.
Kent: I’ll be there in thirty.
Ah, that was Kent. Always so reliable. Well, until a girl got involved, that is. I attempted to brush my teeth with my light head and I missed the drain. The spittle landed near the emergency water hole instead. I laughed it off. I was a little tipsy. I hoped I could hold it together. It had been awhile since I’d let myself go like this.
My thoughts went back to Kent as I fiddled around in the kitchen, opening up cupboards, looking for something toxic for my body. It was girl custom to binge on a pint of ice cream, wasn’t it? I went to the fridge and opened it up. I was pissed and slightly more heart broken when I found there was nothing in there except some freezer-burned peas.
“Damnit.” I opened the fridge and stared for a minute. If Kent and I did become friends again and he did find another woman it would just be the same. The same as before. He’d drag me on his stupid dates and make out in front of me while I pretended to be interested in something across the room. And his new girlfriend would probably be as much of a loser as the first one had been. I slammed the door on the fridge and went to the door in the rear of the kitchen. It lead to a patio the size of a bathroom stall.