by Marie Cole
Chapter 58
I had just finished my shower when I heard my cellphone singing from my bedroom. I ran to catch it in time, taking a second to glance at the number before pushing the green button. Who in the world could be calling me from a New York phone number?
"Hello?" I said as I held my towel tightly to my chest.
"I'm trying to reach Backdrop." The man's voice was silky against the loud cacophony in the background. His words were clipped.
"Oh, um, yes. This is Elly. What can I do for you?" I asked.
"My name is Gavin and I'm with The Trumpeters. We had a corporate gig on Christmas Eve but we're stuck in this snow storm and can't get out of JFK. I googled some wedding bands and your name came up. Are you familiar with Derby and Associates?"
"Yes?…" That was Jen's father's medical group. What were the odds?
"Do you have a piece of paper? You need to write this down. Unless you already have a gig booked for that night?"
I quickly rushed over to my kitchen counter where the days mail was still sitting and snatched a pen from my junk drawer.
"Um, no. No gigs for Christmas Eve. Go ahead, I'm ready," I said as I squished the phone between my ear and shoulder and tried to hold my towel up with my under arms.
"You need to call Andy, he's Dr. Derby's assistant. You need to tell him that you are filling in for us and that you spoke with me, Gavin. I'd call him but I really fucking hate that guy. The set list was a bunch of soft pop hits and some jazzy Christmas crap. Probably anything will do. Just don't go too crazy. You dig?"
"Uh-huh." I quickly scribbled while he continued to spat directions at me.
"Dress is formal, very formal, like black tie and shit, and you need to arrive no later than three to set up and do your sound checks. Did I forget anything?"
"Um. Where is this party happening? The Hullendale Hotel or…?"
"It's at Northern University, in the York Building."
"Okay. Great. Well, thanks Gavin. I hope that--" The phone clicked in my ear before I got the rest out. Wow. I stared in surprise at the phone, half expecting he would call back and apologize for a dropped connection. I shook my head as I set it onto the counter beside my notes.
I stared. A gig, probably good paying, on Christmas Eve for a bunch of well dressed people. I smiled wide. I'd gotten my Christmas wish! I was going to be able to successfully dodge this Christmas Eve's festivities and, most of all, I'd get to dodge Kent!
I picked up my phone once the stunned stupor wore off and dialed Rio's number. "Rio? I have some great news!"
* * *
It felt weird returning to the university where I'd attended more than ten years ago. Oh the things I wish I could tell college Elly: Don't leave the dorm laundry room without your clean laundry in hand. Don't eat the salad bars on Wednesdays. Don't take Art History junior year. Don't go running to Kent every time you feel like you need a pick me up.
"Don't just stand there with your mouth hanging open, Elly, get the door! This drum is fucking heavy!"
James’s voice cut through my daydreaming and I smiled. I wasn't in college anymore. I was an adult. And I had learned my lesson. Finally.
I opened the door wide so James could get his drum inside and held it while Rio and our new guitarist, Luke, followed after him. It hadn't been hard to replace Bryan after he was kicked from the band. I shuddered still to even think of him. What an asshole he'd been. But then, that was my type it seemed. I was doomed to be in relationships with asshole after asshole.
As we entered the Douglass Ballroom we were immersed in the pre-party set up. Crisp white tablecloths were being spread, sparkling Christmas-themed decorations were being hung, and the buffet tables were being prepared. I was glad that it wasn't me doing all the heavy lifting. As the singer I had it pretty easy as far as equipment went.
I was almost to the stage with my mic stand when I heard the voice of my nightmares.
"Elly Palmer! Is that you?"
I turned around and was face to face with Jen. She looked as beautiful as ever, not a hair out of place, even though she was in the middle of a flurry of people.
"Yep. It's me," I replied, trying to keep the venom from my voice.
"Well, what are you doing here?" she demanded, her body tilting to one side, all her weight pressing on the heel of a very expensive stiletto.
"My band is playing the party tonight."
She frowned and stared at her clipboard. She shook her head as her sapphire eyes met mine. "No, The Trumpeters are playing tonight."
I lightly scratched at an itch on my forehead as I stared at the back of her black clipboard. "No. They are trapped in a New York snow storm and asked us to fill in for them."
"Well does dadd--I mean, Dr. Derby know?"
I shrugged my shoulders and met her angry, confused eyes. "I don't know. I would assume so since I spoke with his assistant, Andy, this morning."
She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Alright. Fine. Go set up up there. You need to clear the stage by four and then start playing as guests arrive. Did you get the playlist?"
I nodded. It was a half truth.
She nodded in return and then smiled. "I tried to get Kent to come tonight but he said his mother needed him. I'll be sure to send my regards."
And just like that I wanted to punch her. My fists curled at my sides as my lips smiled. I had to put on the happy, work face.
"Yes, please do." I turned around and headed back to the stage. My Christmas Eve was looking slightly less appealing. I should have known that if her father was throwing an expensive party that Jen would be there.
Think of the money, Elly. And avoiding Kent. And the money.
I nodded to myself, strengthening my resolve. Yes. This was a good thing. And it was going to be a good night. There would be plenty of other people at this party and I'd find the hottest guy among them and sing to him all night long.
* * *
It turned out that Dr. Derby knew quite a few hot guys. I'd had my fill throughout the evening and only laid eyes on Jen once. She'd been at her dad's side, drowning herself in champagne. I guess the fall from her position as a housewife had gone into effect. She wasn't on Kent's arm anymore, now she was on her daddy's.
We were packing up to leave when a young man approached the stage. He cleared his throat, causing me to turn around and stare down at him.
"Yes?" I asked.
He held out a check in his hand. "Your payment for your services. Mr. Derby was quite pleased and made sure you were compensated well for the last minute changes."
I nodded and took the check. Etiquette kept me from staring at it until he'd turned away. When he did, I approached the guys and opened the envelope. I nearly fainted as I stared at the piece of paper which was shaking slightly in my hand.
"Holy shit," James exclaimed. He was always so eloquent.
"Elly, that can't be right. Go make sure he didn't write too many zeros," Rio insisted as he peered over James' shoulder.
I pulled it out further and glanced at the words written out.
Twelve thousand dollars and 00/100 -------
No, clearly it was not a typo. I glanced around at them and smiled widely.
"Merry Christmas, you guys!"
"Merry Christmas!" James yelled as he pushed us all together and gave us a big squeeze. "I can rack up one helluva bar tab with three thousand smackers!" He fist pumped and then went back to quickly breaking down his drums.
Rio looked at me and smiled sadly. I turned away. I didn't need his pity. We'd just had a great night. I wasn't going to ruin it by thinking about him.
"You comin', Elly?" James asked as he turned his head in my direction.
"You bet," I said with a determined smile. I wasn't going to go home until I was mind-numbingly drunk.
Chapter 59
"I'll be really quick, thanks!" Stacy yelled as she dashed through my apartment towards the bathroom.
I watched her go but paused as my nose was accosted by somethin
g foul.
Sweet mother in heaven, what is that smell?
I wrinkled my nose and tried to sniff out the culprit. I walked towards the kitchen, the smell was gone. I walked back to the entryway. Definitely there somewhere. I ducked down and sniffed, moving closer and closer to the offending scent.
I grabbed a crumpled up sock and brought it to my nose.
"Oh god!" I turned my head away and held it out at arm's length.
"What is that?" Stacy asked as she came closer.
"A dirty sock," I said, holding it up for her to inspect.
She looked weirded out. "You should probably wash that."
"Thanks, smartypants. Did you smell it when you came in?"
She frowned as she came closer, her eyes inspecting me. "No. It's a dirty sock not a decaying body."
I pinched my nose and stared at her. "You can't smell that from there?"
She raised one eyebrow, a trick I'd always meant to learn but never had. "Um, no."
I quickly put the sock into the garbage and then washed my hands. "So what are you and Rio up to tonight?"
"Um… it's New Year's Eve, Elly. We're throwing a party. The one you're invited to and said you'd attend, remember?"
I dried my hands on the dishtowel and then came out to meet her questioning but hopeful eyes.
"Oh, right. Well, you better get out of here so I can get snazzied up," I said.
She grinned and pointed at me. "Yes! I'll see you later. Bring a date, if you want, maybe Kent."
I pointed back at her and shot her an imitation of a smile. "Maybe… not. It would be great if you could just not say his name. Thanks."
She rolled her eyes and waved me off as she headed for the front door. "Whatever, Elly. See you tonight!"
When she was gone I breathed a sigh of relief and lounged on my couch as I flipped on the TV. There was never anything good to watch on Saturday afternoons but as I began flipping I didn't really care. My eyes were so tired. I found Dirty Dancing and grabbed my throw blanket. Before the second commercial break I was fast asleep.
* * *
I woke up to the sound of Steve Carell yelling "MMOH -- KELLY CLARKSON!" I wiped the drool from the side of my mouth and sat up, glancing around to find the time. It was already a little past seven.
"Shit!" I leapt off the couch and ran towards the bathroom. I turned on the shower and while I was waiting for it to warm I grabbed my razor and studied it. It was too old so I tossed it and opened the cupboard beneath the bathroom sink. My tampons spilled out onto the floor and I grumbled to myself as I cleaned them up.
As I stuffed the last one into the box my mind niggled at me.
When was the last time I'd had my period? It should be coming soon.
I sighed and got up. It was just what I'd need: to start bleeding during the middle of a party. I jogged to my wall calendar and stared at it. I blinked a few times as I stared at the blank month. Where were the little red dots? Had I forgotten to mark it? No, I was very meticulous. I loved to have things written down, especially since I'd know exactly when the next one was coming. I flipped back to the previous month and started counting.
37.
37 days since my last period. I felt the color drain from my face as I stared at the calendar. Two pink dots a week before Christmas. Oh, God.
No.
I shook my head as I moved back to the shower and got in. Time and water were wasting.
I couldn't be pregnant. It was a fluke. It happened to everyone. I was probably just stressing out and my body was being difficult. I tried to hum it off, then sing it out of my mind but that didn't work. When I was out of the shower I quickly dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt, threw on my winter coat, and ran out the door. Nothing was going to put my mind at ease except a test. And I was very good at tests.
There was a pharmacy a few blocks down. I almost ran all the way there and on the way back I chugged a huge bottle of water. When I returned I took the test and set it on the sink. While the little test cooked itself I shaved because I'd forgotten to get my razor before getting in the shower. When I was done I closed my eyes and then grabbed the test. I'd made sure I'd gotten the digital kind. I didn't want to misread the thing.
I swallowed hard as I picked it up.
Please be negative, please be negative.
I opened my eyes and winced.
Pregnant
Damnit!
I threw the test into the trash but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the tiny word. Pregnant. I always used protection. Almost always. But when I didn't I got the morning after pill. I mentally calculated backwards and though I tried to resist I brought up the memory of my last dalliance.
Kent. On my bed. In the shower. Up against the wall. Getting dressed, missed phone calls. Hospital. Jen. Self-pity party. Lots and lots of waitressing.
Damnit!
I looked up and stared at myself in the mirror. It was too late to turn back now. I wasn't going to get rid of a baby. Did I go to Stacy's party and pretend everything was kosher? Or did I stay home and wallow in it? My whole life was about to change. Everything from my body to where I lived. My job. What was I going to do for money once the baby came? I couldn't go on singing. It wasn't practical. I'd be gone nights and weekends and I'd have to get a sitter and that wouldn't work out.
Kent.
No, I shook that thought away. I couldn't stick him with the baby every time I needed to work. That wouldn't be fair to him.
Yes it would! He's the father!
He's the father… Oh my God. I'd inadvertently pulled a Jen.
With shaking legs I moved to my bedroom and laid down. I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Stacy telling her that I was feeling sick. It was the truth. I was feeling very sick thinking about what the future was going to be like and the moment I was going to have to fess up and tell Kent that he was going to be a father.
I should've just texted him right then. I should've just ripped off the band-aid and gotten it over with. But I didn't. My fingers poised over the send key with the message I'd typed out to him.
--I'm pregnant. Ooops.--
I quickly deleted it and set my phone down. That wasn't the right way to tell him. I'd wait until the next time I saw him. No, I'd wait until the second trimester. Lots of things could happen in the first trimester. Miscarriages were common, right? Like it had been with Jen?
I rolled over and curled up, a hand on my tummy. I didn't want it to end up like Jen. Not one bit of it. But my story was quickly becoming eerily similar.
Chapter 60
February
I removed the gloves from my hands and shoved them into my pockets as I smiled at the Asian woman standing behind the counter.
“Takeout or dine in?” she asked, her words hurried as I picked up and skimmed the paper menu.
“Um, take out… No, dine in,” I quickly corrected myself and then started to unbutton my coat.
She nodded her acceptance of my final answer and then moved around the counter to show me to my seat.
As I rounded the corner I stripped off my coat and draped it over my arm. I glanced around a little, wondering if there was anyone there that I knew. There were some familiar faces from work but no one that I knew beyond what they liked to eat.
When the waiter came, I ordered two different dishes as well as two glasses of water. While I waited for the waiter to come back I absently put my hand on my stomach, which was not yet swollen.
I still hadn't said anything to anyone about the baby growing inside of me. I wasn't ready to face the fact that I was going to be a mother. I hadn't dreamed that this would happen to me -- at least not this way. I was dreading the moment that I would have to tell the band that I was going to stop doing what I loved and be a responsible mother. But that's what I was going to do. And part of being a responsible mother was getting a responsible job. Tonight I was going to give my boss my two weeks notice and start seriously job hunting for something that was going to allow me to find a regular j
ob with health insurance and benefits.
I heard laughing behind me which drew my attention away and as my eyes looked up they stuttered on someone entering the restaurant. Someone I hadn’t seen in a couple of months. My vision was blocked when the waiter came and delivered my two plates of food.
I smiled and thanked him and then he moved away to check on another table.
My cheeks were on fire at the quick sighting of my ex-best friend. I was probably hallucinating like that time I thought I’d seen him walking down Center Street.
Despite what I might have feared, my ex-best friend wasn't with his renewed love interest Jen, but with a guy that appeared slightly older than him. I attempted not to stare as I tried to figure out who this mystery man could be. Did his mother have a new love interest as well? Was Kent on a job interview?
He was chatting with the other man until the hostess retrieved them and led them towards a table which happened to be behind where I was sitting.
When the pair moved by my table Kent’s head turned to look at me. His double take was slightly amusing as he paused in his step, but I dared not to smile. Not as my heart was beating wildly, trying to escape from my chest in fear.
"Elly?" The confusion and disbelief clear in his voice as he stared at me as if I were a mirage.
His eyes didn't linger long. I half expected them to wander down over my stomach but they didn't because he had no way of knowing the secret I'd been hiding. Instead they moved over the empty seat and my table. Then his beautiful eyes looked away from me entirely.
No! His eyes weren’t beautiful, they were roaming and deceitful.
Words flooded into my head along with emotions I didn't want to let out. This was not the place for it, not around these people, and certainly not in front of the stranger with him.