Losers, Weepers

by Jessica Thomas

  “A well-deserved nap. Sorry to wake you up.” He looked worn out. I could almost feel sorry for him. Then I recalled that he had probably had a delicious lunch, whereas I had had none. And my dinner had consisted of a cold chicken leg, sliced tomato, a hunk of cheese and the end of a baguette.

  “I was only resting my eyes.”

  “Whatever you say. I just wanted to let you know, tomorrow night is D-Day—well, D-Night . . . oh, hell, you know what I mean.”

  “Perhaps you need a well-deserved nap to perk you up,” I said kindly. “Do you feel up to talking about it? D-Day, I mean?”

  “Coffee should help.” Cindy’s smile was genuine as she brought in the tray and set it on the coffee table. “You both look like you need a good night’s sleep and a day off.”

  Neither of us would admit to that, so we all took coffee and at least two of us tried not to gulp it down.

  Sonny set his coffee mug down and rubbed his eyes with a sigh. “Okay, here we go. Dana just called me. She was at the barn for one last check on Zoe, when Reed Catlett phoned with the final instructions for Gerald and Rick. I’ll give the kid credit, she has good timing. If it weren’t for her, we’d still be pretty much in the dark.”

  Cindy shook her head. “I can hardly believe it. The father of the kidnapped girl is giving instructions to the two kidnappers, and they are prepared to follow them. That is absolutely absurd.”

  Sonny nodded. “The word I think I would use is obscene. Anyway, as you know, tomorrow night is the big farewell shindig at Tellman’s Gallery, and Reed figured with a crowd milling around, it would be a good time for him to get the money to Gerald and Rick. They can make their getaway and Reed will gallantly rescue Zoe once the coast is safely clear.”

  Cindy snapped her fingers and stood up. “That reminds me.” She reached up on the mantel. “Our invitation to the party came today. You can’t get in without it, Sonny. Do you have one? We have two here for some reason.”

  “I’ll have a dozen after I see the Tellmans tomorrow morning,” he answered sarcastically. “First of all, I was told by Trish to get an invitation if I had to steal it. Second, I was told that I’d better be wearing a tux, or she would show up in her ratty old bathrobe. I ask you”—he looked at us with a shake of his head—“am I on duty, or am I escorting my girlfriend to some artsy-smartsy gala?”

  “Both,” we chorused.

  Cindy added, “Trish and I will look after each other, mingle with the multimillionaire New York and Boston jet sets, get slightly tipsy on Krug champagne and have a wonderful time dancing the night away. We may even buy a picture or two. I know about how much I’ll see of you, my love.” She gave me a pursed-lip smile and spoke to Sonny. “But don’t worry, she will be in her tuxedo also. And so, I imagine, will a great many other people.”

  “That’s a great comfort.” Sonny pulled out his little notebook. “Now here’s how it will go down. You’d better take some notes, Alex, so you can go over it in your mind tomorrow.”

  I was aghast. “Sonny, I agreed to help you out for a day or so. Glad to do it. But enough is enough. I want to have some fun tomorrow night, too. Mom and Aunt Mae are going. Cassie and Lainey will be there, along with Walter and Billy and God knows who else. I do not intend to pass up champagne and caviar. And you want me to run around chasing kidnappers?”

  “Now, Sis . . .” I knew I was in trouble. “You can have fun at the party. We hope most of the people there won’t even know what is going on. And your little role will be—well, mostly—ah, supervisory. Let me explain the whole picture, so you can have a completely easy mind.”

  I waited for him to go on. He sounded so oily, I half expected him to offer me a beautiful nineteenth century bridge at a bargain price.

  “First of all, Reed has arranged for a rental car, a light blue Toyota, for the two ‘kidnappers’ to escape in. It will arrive around seven and will be parked in the lot, near the front exit. The keys will be left in one of those magnetic holders under the right front fender. Even if one of the Tellmans should notice the car arriving early, they would think it belongs to one of the caterers or some of the security people who’ll be watching the art all night, to make sure nobody wanders out with one of the smaller pieces—something they haven’t bought.”

  I had a brilliant thought. “Sonny, couldn’t some of the security people help you out better than I?”

  “No. Reed and his lovely wife will arrive at eight, when the party is in full swing and it is fully dark. Reed will have a briefcase. He will walk with the lovely Merrilou to the bar and leave the briefcase on the floor at the end of the bar. It will contain one hundred thousand dollars, plus two plane tickets from Atlanta to Dublin, two driver’s licenses and two credit cards, which will not be reported stolen until after the two young men have landed in Ireland and had time to move on.”

  Sonny reached for my pack of cigarettes on the table, and Cindy took advantage of the intermission to ask, “I wonder where a respectable man like Reed got those credit cards and all those false papers? I wouldn’t have any idea in the world where you get a false passport.”

  “I think I can answer that question.”

  The three of us looked around, astonished to see Harmon and another man standing in the dining room door.

  “Your kitchen doorbell ain’t working, Alex. I’ll check it out tomorrow and fix it for you or pick up a new one. We knocked, but you didn’t hear us. I hope we didn’t scare you ladies none.”

  “No, no, it’s fine, Harmon,” I reassured him. “You and your friend have a seat. Can I get you some coffee?”

  The two men passed on coffee and sat down gingerly on the loveseat, which Sonny had vacated to sit by me on the couch. “What’s up, Harmon?” Sonny asked. I knew he couldn’t be any happier to see Harmon than I was. We really didn’t need one of Harmon’s drug-dealer fantasies. But we all had managed smiles of welcome. Cindy’s was probably genuine. She was fond of Harmon and loved his theories on who was who in his imaginary Ptown drug cartel.

  “Did you just say you could tell us where Reed got some phony ID papers and credit cards?”

  “Yes, but first, Alex, thank you for recommending me to the Tellman ladies for that repair work on their house. It’ll have me in work for quite a while. First thing I did was apologize to them for thinkin’ they was drug dealers, and I told them they could tell Choate Ellis I wasn’t watching him no more, neither. They said everyone should be so ass . . . ass . . . assidious in their civic duty. They thought that it was kind of funny, and they weren’t mad at all at my mistake.”

  They weren’t the only ones who found it funny. I, at least, found it absolutely delicious, visualizing stodgy Choate Ellis’s reaction to learning he’d been tailed as a drug dealer by Provincetown’s Character in Residence. Neither Sonny, Cindy nor I dared make eye contact.

  “Now, this here”—Harmon pointed a thumb toward his companion—“is my brother-in-law, Clete, from Fall River. He’s on vacation for a couple of weeks and is going to stay and help me with the outdoor repairs, so’s we can finish them before it gets too cold.”

  We three nodded greetings to Clete, and Sonny remarked, “That’s all good news, Harmon. But what’s it got to do with Reed Catlett?”

  “I’m getting there. I went down to Fall River to pick Clete up so he could leave their car with his wife—my sister Georgia. While I was there, Clete took me out to lunch at this place he claims has the best fried oysters on the whole East Coast. Well, I ain’t so sure the Wharf Rat don’t beat ’em, by a hair, but they was good.” He cleared his throat several times. “My throat is a little dry. I wonder might I trouble you for a little something cold?”

  I got up. We had all decided we were a little dry. Cindy actually requested a small glass of wine. The rest of us settled for beer.

  Drinks served, Harmon finally cleared his throat and got to the core of his latest investigation.

  “This restaurant Clete took us to, it was a workingman’s place, plain and sim
ple. A bar with a TV up at one end, some kinda rickety tables and chairs, a pool table. You didn’t feel out of place in jeans or coveralls, ’cause that’s what everybody had on. And the portions all looked to be what a man with a half-day’s hard work still ahead of him would need.” I had to admit Harmon was observant.

  Here he turned to Clete. “I think you can tell this part better than me.”

  Clete nodded and began. “These two fellas come in and took the table next to us. Tables are fairly close together in there. The first guy, his name is Bill Slote. I know him to speak to, and we did. He had on khakis and a shirt with no tie, carried a hard hat, so he couldn’t have got a table at the Ritz.” He smiled at his humor and paused for a sip of his beer.

  Then he went on. “This Slote—he’s a contractor, got a reputation for being a tough guy and for hiring tough guys. He gets at least half of the jobs around Fall River that are plums. Mainly the county and state stuff. Well, the other contractors, they grumble, but they don’t do nothing about it. Rumor says you cause trouble for Slote, and you won’t even get the crumbs you do get, and you might find some of your large equipment breaking down kinda frequent. I don’t know whether that’s true or not. But it’s what I hear.”

  He let us digest that for a minute and continued. “The guy having lunch with Slote stood out like a . . . well, he stood out. He had on a suit that cost more than I make in a month, shoes all shined up like my little girl’s Sunday school pumps and those thin, shiny socks with some kind of fancy stitching up the side. Actually had on a lavender shirt. Looked like silk. Probably a good thing he was with Slote. This dressy guy, he gave us both a real politician’s greasy smile, like they give you whether you know them or not. I only know his last name. It’s Cuniff. He works for the state, something to do with okaying bids for new construction. They had a drink, waitin’ for their lunch.”

  Harmon took over again. “It was nearly two o’clock and pretty quiet in there, so you could hear what people was saying. Slote, he says to the other guy that Reed Catlett is getting to be a pain. He don’t want to dummy up the specifications, but he still wants his cut. This Cuniff smiles, nasty-like, and says, ‘I got a young architect that’ll fit real nice right here,’ and he patted his jacket pocket. ‘You just carry on the best you can with Reed for now. Within a month or so, I’ll have this young guy all sewed up, and Reed may find himself designing public bathrooms at the beach.’ Then their lunch came and I didn’t hear them anymore. But if I wanted a phony passport, I bet you Reed Catlett could get it for me.”

  Well, damn, I thought, Harmon has finally stumbled onto something that sounds real. Not only real, but much more far-reaching than the odd drug trade. God bless him, his ship has come in.

  Sonny was more down to earth. “Have you mentioned this to anyone else?” Harmon and Clete both shook their heads. “Be sure you don’t. Not only could you tip them off to start covering their tracks, but also, if what you say is correct, you could get hurt. I mean this. Don’t you guys have a couple of beers and start bragging how clever you are.”

  “No, Sonny, we won’t breathe a word.” I hoped he meant it.

  “Okay.” Sonny smiled. “You’ve both done a great job. I know a guy in the state police down your way, Clete. I’ll see what he knows about it. Now, you two, be patient, be careful, be quiet!”

  Sonny stood up and shook hands with them both. They could hardly take it as anything but good night, and so they left.

  And we once again addressed my briefing for tomorrow.

  Cindy was literally drooping over her wineglass. I took it from her gently and pointed toward the bedroom. “Go.”

  She looked up at me with tired eyes. “You won’t mind? I hate to do this. You both look as tired as I feel.”

  I pulled her upright and held her against me for a minute, then kissed her. “Now I feel fine,” I said. And I did. “We won’t be long.” I looked meaningfully over her head at my brother.

  “Absolutely not, just a few more small details. You run along.” He patted her on the head as if her name were Fargo, which I thought would earn him a snappy retort. But she was too tired. She went.

  “You got anymore beer?” Sonny watched her walk toward the bedroom with envy.

  “Yeah, but it may put us both on the floor.”

  “Seriously, I won’t be long.”

  He wasn’t long getting the beer, either, and we started the action back at the Tellman’s bar.

  “After Reed and Merrilou get their drinks, she—who knows nothing of this, we are sure—will start to socialize. So will Reed, but he will be on the lookout for Gerald and Rick. They will have a similar briefcase, containing some newspapers to give it a little weight, and the key to the barn.”

  “Okay.” I sipped the beer, if I passed out it wasn’t my fault. “So when Reed sees the guys come in he goes and picks up the case with the key, and he goes and gets Zoe. Tweedledee and Tweedledum pick up the case with the money and go to the car. Which I assume will be under observation by Provincetown’s finest.”

  “Yeah,” Sonny replied. “Mitch will be back from vacation and will come in a day early. He and Pino and Dobis will cover the Toyota and your two Tweedles. Mendes and Sanders will be in two cruisers up where the road turns onto Route Six, just in case Rick and Gerald get away somehow. Anybody in a blue Toyota is going to spend a lot of time talking to cops tomorrow night.” He laughed. “We’ve even got the state guys alerted all the way up to the bridges just as a precaution.”

  I lit a cigarette and tossed the pack to Sonny. He was considerate. He carried his own lighter.

  I sat up straight and tried to concentrate as he continued.

  “Now comes the part that makes me hope Reed does spend some nice long prison time for doctoring design plans for a kickback and a few other things.” His mouth turned down at the corners and his eyes were cold. “That son of a bitch told Rick and Gerald that Zoe is to be well sedated and entirely naked when he gets to her tomorrow night. He will ‘rescue’ her, put his suit jacket around her and carry her, otherwise naked, right down the hill and into the crowded gallery. And, doubtless with crocodile tears streaming down his face, he’ll be yelling, ‘Look here everyone, my darling daughter is back in her loving father’s arms!’”

  My cigarette tasted suddenly harsh and bitter. I stubbed it out. “Sonny, that cannot possibly be true!”

  “Well,” he admitted, “I don’t know exactly what words he will be yelling, but you can bet it’s something that makes him the loving, heroic father. And the drugged and naked part is true. But there is one good thing. Your Tweedle boys are getting smart, a little late in the game, but better than not at all. They taped the call and, according to Dana, will put it in the mail to me tomorrow morning.” He actually smiled. “They don’t realize they will all be here to tell a jury the details about it in person.”

  “What do you think you can charge Reed with?”

  “At least two counts of reckless endangerment, endangering the safety of a juvenile—Zoe isn’t eighteen yet—conspiracy to commit a rape, illegal restraint, bribery, illicit use of drugs and anything else we can come up with, like throwing a gum wrapper on the sidewalk.” He grinned.

  His grin faded and he slugged down a goodly portion of his beer. “I am not going to allow that girl to be publicly humiliated and terrified, being carted virtually unclothed into a crowd of a hundred people. They’ll all be staring, yelling questions, cheering and pounding the valiant father on the back. And all the women will be making a fuss over her.”

  Sometimes I quite liked my brother. “You going to arrest him when he picks up the briefcase with the key?”

  “No, he could explain that as just accidentally picking up a similar briefcase. I want him showing that he knows exactly where she is. First of all, there will be an ambulance with an EMT crew, parked behind the gallery. If anyone sees it, it will simply look like a precaution in case anyone faints in the crowd or whatever. But when the ambulance driver sees Reed r
each the barn, he will quietly drive up the hill and park beside the entrance.”

  He turned to me and poked me rather hard on the leg. “This, dear sister, is where you come in.”

  “Ouch!” I didn’t want to come in. I wanted to go to bed.

  “When Reed leaves the gallery and starts up the hill, give him a fair lead and then follow him.” Sonny had taken control of the cigarettes and helped himself. “He won’t look back, I’m almost sure. He’s got a one-track mind about this thing. And I want a witness. You follow him into the barn—if he sees you then—he does. What the hell, you are technically still on his payroll. Tell him you’re just backing him up. But I still think he won’t look behind him. He thinks he’s righteous as hell, dealing with this disobedient, ungrateful, queer daughter. I don’t want him to have a chance to rape Zoe himself, or to beat her up, later blaming it on the guys. When he carries Zoe downstairs, I want her put in that ambulance and taken to the clinic for a thorough checkup.”

  “And just how do I manage to accomplish that with this fanatic? What do I do, Sonny? Do I curtsy and say ‘This way, your Grace, please put Zoe inside the pretty red and white ve-hicle?’”

  Sonny shrugged. “Just flash your badge and your weapon at him. They are more convincing than a curtsy. If he argues, just shoot him in the foot.” He stood, orders to the menials now complete.