Shameless (Loving Fallon Book 1)

by Delecroix, Cassandra

  “You’re no fun,” I tell him sullenly as I stare out my window.

  “Thanks,” he replies dryly.

  “It wouldn’t hurt to just let go for one night.”

  “I can’t when I’m with you.”

  I peer at him in the darkened interior of the car. “Why not?”

  “Someone needs to watch out for you.”

  “What do you think is going to happen if you’re not there?” I muse.

  “I don’t want you doing something you might regret.”

  “It’s just a party, what…oh. Scared I might revert back to my slutty ways?”

  He looks at me sharply. “That is not what I said,” he says levelly.

  “You didn’t have to say it.” I shrug. “It’s fine. We both know I’m fine with screwing whoever’s available.”

  He releases a sigh and mutters something under his breath. “I’m not going there with you tonight. Not when you’re drunk.”

  “I’m not drunk,” I say with exasperation.

  “You will be soon with as much as you drank.”

  “Nick, you’re killing my buzz.”

  “And that’s bad?”

  “Shut up.”

  Nick deliberately turns on the radio, and we both are silent until he pulls up to the trailer. The only vehicle parked outside is his motorcycle, so we go inside. The second we enter his bedroom, I flop down onto his bed, studying him. He’s so frickin’ hot. I wish he’d quit keeping me at arm’s length so we could enjoy each other.

  Nick snags a pack of cigarettes off his dresser, and he catches sight of my expression as he sits down near me. “What?”

  I prop my head on my hand, eyes boldly curious. “When’s the last time you had sex?”

  His eyebrows lift, but he answers anyway. “A couple months ago. Why?”

  “You’re really sexy, but I’m betting you already know that.”

  He studies me. “You think so, huh?”

  I sit up and move closer to him, smiling provocatively. “I think about you, you know.”

  Nick is silent, a cigarette and lighter in his hand, his eyes on me.

  “I wonder what it would be like,” I murmur.

  He looks away. “We can’t, Fallon.”

  I’m getting the vibe that he’s trying to resist the temptation, and I pluck the lighter and cigarette out of his hand, tossing them aside as I climb onto his lap, straddling him. He stiffens, and I slip my arms over his broad shoulders, my eyes meeting his. “Blake and I are casual. You know that,” I say softly.

  Nick draws in a deep breath before exhaling, and he gazes at me with regret mixed with longing. “I don’t want that with you.”

  I run my hand down his hard chest, taunting him as I gaze at him encouragingly. “We can still be friends.” I lean closer, my lips hovering inches from his. “Just give me a chance to show you how good it could be,” I whisper before I kiss him.

  He goes completely still beneath me, and I nip at his lower lip, urging him to have a little fun. When he still doesn’t respond, I run my tongue along the seam of his lips, trying to provoke him. He suddenly catches my lower lip between his teeth, and he bites me. It doesn’t hurt. Instead, it excites me. “Again,” I demand, my hands lifting to clutch the back of his head, refusing to let him put a stop to what we’re starting.

  Nick bites my lip again, harder this time, and I go damp between my legs. “You like that?” he breathes in a rough voice, coming alive beneath me.

  I sink my fingers into his dark hair, and I tighten my grip. “More.”

  “You’re not in charge, Candy Girl.” Then he swiftly rises to his feet, his arms tightening around me briefly before he adjusts his grip and tosses me onto his bed.

  A startled yelp escapes me as I bounce once on the mattress and still. I stare up at him, taking in his predatory gaze. Oh shit. I’ve never been with anyone that’s ever had that look before. There’s sex, and then there’s fucking. Going by his expression, Nick likes to fuck—probably roughly too, and I’m more than interested in exploring that aspect of sex with him. I think it’s because I can relate to him, so I trust him. We both have been through so much, and I understand his need for control.

  “We’ll see,” I murmur in reference to his comment, knowing that I’ve just challenged him. I probably shouldn’t tweak the tigers tail, so to speak, but when have I ever been cautious over anything?

  Nick’s eyes darken further, and he reaches down and strips off his shirt, tossing it aside. My eyes run over him, taking in the finely sculpted muscles of his chest. Whereas Blake is broader and muscular, Nick is slightly leaner, but just as impressive.

  I’m not given much of a chance to admire him, because he’s on the bed in an instant. I try to sit up, but he pushes his body on top of mine, his mouth capturing my lips. I try to buck him off so that I can top him, knowing that he’s enjoying our little battle, and he growls. His knee slides up between my legs and presses against my center.

  I go still, knowing it’s a tactic to divert my attention, but I don’t care. I spread my legs further and arch my back as I begin rubbing myself against him. We’re both wearing jeans, but it still feels damn good.

  “You’re a little firecracker, aren’t you,” Nick mutters against my lips. He slips his hand between us, pulling my shirt up and past my ribs. “Arms up,” he orders. Then to guarantee that I do as requests, he presses his knee more firmly against me.

  My heart is thrumming inside my chest, and I’m so turned on that I don’t care anymore who wins this battle. I lift my arms, and he pulls my shirt up over my breasts, past my shoulders, and over my head. My bra soon joins the shirt on the floor, and Nick deliberately places my wrists above my head, his right hand holding them in place. In this position, my full breasts are jutting out, and my nipples are distended and tingling.

  His eyes shift to them, and I can tell that he likes what he sees. “Nice, really nice. How sensitive are they?”

  “Very,” I say huskily.

  He straddles my hips and reaches out, flicking one of the buds with his finger, causing my back to arch. Then he gently pinches it, and I groan as his eyes watch me attentively. “Too much?” he asks.

  I shake my head.

  The slow grin that forms on his lips has my lower belly tightening. Then his lips are on mine as he settles on top of me, his left hand twisting and tugging on my nipple. The more I moan, the more pressure he applies. When his lips leave mine to trail down my neck, I close my eyes and push my breasts out, wanting his mouth on them. His mouth covers my right nipple, and he bites it. I let out a startled cry as a zing of pleasure shoots down to my groin.

  “Tell me what you’re feeling so that I don’t hurt you,” he says in a thick voice.

  “More,” I say breathlessly.

  He bites me again, and his left hand pinches the other one as his right hand continues to hold my wrists in place. I’m moaning loudly now, writhing beneath him. His left leaves my breast and moves down my body and tugs on the button of my jeans. The zipper is pulled down, and he shoves my jeans and panties halfway down my hips. His mouth begins to suck hard on my nipple as he slides a finger inside me. I gasp at his penetration and part my legs the best that I can. When he adds a second finger, I helplessly begin to undulate.

  My eyes close as I enjoy what he’s doing to me. He begins to pull his fingers out, causing me to whimper, and then he buries them deep before pulling out again. He plunges his fingers over and over, and I cry out, begging for more. The only sound in his room are my cries and the sounds of his fingers slamming into my wetness. He’s putting a little more force behind his thrusts now, but my hips are more than willing to meet him halfway.

  I’m vaguely aware that he’s no longer sucking on my nipple, and I open my eyes to find him watching me, his lips flattened, eyes dark with lust. My lips part, because what he’s doing to me is hot as hell. He hovers over me, and his fingers curl inside me as he shortens his thrusts. My eyes widen as he manipulates my G-spot.
Then I arch my back, and I let out a throaty scream as I fly over the edge and explode with pleasure. His fingers stay inside me as my inner muscles spasm, and I slowly sink into the mattress, going limp. Nick’s fingers gently slide out of me. With closed eyes, I struggle to draw air into my lungs. That was… It was…

  I lie there and enjoy the aftermath of a really good orgasm. I wet my lips and open my eyes, meeting Nick’s heated gaze. “You got a condom?” I ask huskily.

  Nick blinks and abruptly eases off of me, his expression darkening. “Shit. We can’t do this.” He rises to his feet and exhales loudly as he runs his hands through his hair.

  I stare at him with dismay. “Of course we can.”

  He drops his hands to give me a long, hard look. “You and I want two completely different things.”

  “Nick, look at me. I am mostly naked and ready for you. The only thing you need to think about is what is happening now, not what will happen later. It’s just sex.”

  Something flashes in his gaze. “Exactly,” he says grimly.

  Unfortunately, the mood has been ruined, and I can tell by Nick’s expression that I can’t talk him into it. I reach for my panties and jeans, pulling them up and fastening the button. “I don’t understand,” I say with a frown.

  “That’s the problem, Fallon.”

  A flash of light coming from the window interrupts us, and we realize it’s headlights. Nick quickly walks to his window and pulls back a few of the blinds to peer outside. His bare shoulders stiffen, and I get a clear look at the tattoo on his back. I’d thought I’d glimpsed something on his shoulders the night I’d tricked him into going in the pond, but I hadn’t been sure, so I’d never asked. Now I see that he has the name Amber tattooed in gothic script across his tanned, broad shoulders. I’m instantly jealous that he has another girl’s name permanently inked on his body, which means whoever Amber is, she means something to him.

  Nick turns around, his expression grim, eyes alert. He quickly grabs my bra and shirt off the floor and flings them at me. “Get your clothes on. I need to get you out of here.”

  I frown at his tone, and we hear a car door slam outside.

  “Now Fallon!” he snaps when I don’t move.

  I’m stunned and more than a little hurt over his abruptness.

  “Move!” Nick growls at me. He grabs his shirt off of the floor, yanking it on before he pulls the blinds up and opens the window.

  It’s sinking in that Nick is upset and anxious. If Nick is acting the way he is, there’s a reason—probably not a good one. I quickly dress, and I’m just yanking my shirt over the waistband of my jeans when we hear the outer trailer door open.

  “You home boy?” a slurred voice calls out.

  Nick bends down and grabs my shoes, and he hurries to the window and tosses them outside. “Hurry,” he orders, reaching for me.

  Alcohol has dulled my mind, but I still see the urgency on his face, so I rush over, nearly stumbling in my haste. His arms wrap around me, and he lifts me up into the window, steadying me when I wobble. I clutch the sides of the window, hesitating.

  “Don’t break your neck,” he orders. Then he gives me a shove as someone pounds on his bedroom door.

  A loud squeak escapes me as I drop out of the window and fall onto my hands and knees. I’m struggling to right myself when Nick drops down beside me, and he bends down and yanks me to my feet, my shoes in his free hand. He jogs me over to his car and quickly deposits me in the passenger seat. He then practically flings himself in the driver’s side and starts the car. We’re just pulling away from the trailer when the door opens, and a man stands in the doorway, his fist raised angrily.

  A heavy silence fills the interior of the car as Nick turns onto the road, and the trailer and angry man is left behind.

  “Nick?” I ask tentatively.

  “Don’t. Put your seatbelt on,” he says curtly.

  Even with alcohol clouding my mind, I know that it’s time to keep my mouth shut, and I reach for the seatbelt and slip it on. I’m worried about Nick, and I’m aware that with as fast as he’d ushered me out of the trailer—through the window no less—it can only mean his dad is bad news.

  When Nick pulls up to the corner near Catherine’s house, he stares straight ahead, refusing to look at me.

  He’s upset, and I know that I’d pushed him too far tonight. I messed up. Badly. Without a word, I open my door, climb out, and rush off towards the house.

  ~*~

  My actions last night weigh heavily on my mind the next day. It’s Sunday, and since I don’t work, I have nothing to distract myself from my humiliation. I’d thrown myself at Nick, and for a short time, it had been really, really good. That is until he’d put a stop to things.

  A chime comes from my phone that I’d tossed carelessly onto the bed earlier. A bit reluctantly, I sit down and pick it up, expecting it to be Nick. He’s sent me multiple text messages this morning telling me that he wants to talk about last night. I haven’t been able to bring myself to answer a single one. I just don’t know what to say. Nick has been adamant about just being friends and not crossing that line, yet I’d pushed myself on him that night at the pond, and once again last night. He doesn’t want me that way, and it hurts.

  Unable to help myself, I glance at the new text. It’s from Blake. U busy?

  My mood immediately brightens. No, I send back.

  I’m at the corner, he replies.

  I have to re-read his message before it sinks in, and I scramble to my feet and hurry to the window. Sure enough, Blake’s Camaro is parked at the curb. Anticipation builds within me as I quickly slip my feet into a pair of sneakers and climb out my window, careful to be as quiet as possible. Catherine is home and still sleeping in her bedroom.

  I dart across the yard and walk down the sidewalk to the corner. The second I climb into the car, Blake pulls away from the curb as I secure my seatbelt. He’s oddly silent, and I look at him with a frown. “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  I don’t believe him.

  Blake drives us to the empty lot by the football field and parks the car.

  “What are we doing?”

  He turns to face me, and his dark eyes turn tentative. “Talking.”

  “Okay,” I say warily. He looks serious, so I brace myself for whatever is on his mind.

  “I know we’re casual, so I don’t know if I have the right to ask this.”

  “Ask away.”

  He watches me closely. “You were with Nick at the game, and I heard that you two were out again last night. Are you two hooking up?”

  I’m not sure how to answer that, but I know that I need to be honest with him. “We messed around,” I say cautiously.

  His head turns and he stares straight ahead, his expression unreadable. “I see.”

  Alarm stirs within me, and I begin to worry. We had both agreed that we weren’t serious or anything, so I’d naturally assumed that I was free to mess around with others. “Are you mad?”

  His eyes shift back to me. “No, but I am jealous,” he says honestly.

  “If it makes you feel any better, Nick put a halt to things. He…it wasn’t what he wanted. He’s insisting on being my friend and only my friend.”

  He simply studies me, and I can tell he’s caught up in his own thoughts.

  “Blake, what happened between you two?” I ask, switching the topic to their friendship.

  Both of them are goodhearted and quite loyal. What could have possibly caused Blake to turn on Nick? It might be wishful thinking on my part, but if I could just find out what happened, maybe there’s a way to fix it. Life would be so much easier if they could patch things up, and I would love to be able to hang with them at the same time. Not that I’m only thinking of myself, it’s just that I know they both could use a friend right now. Nick needs more than just our…friendship. He could really use a close guy friend, and Blake needs someone he can trust, someone who sees him for who he is, not what he
has.

  “That’s something that Nick should share with you, not me,” Blake says, breaking the heavy silence.

  “But if it involves you…”

  “It’s something he did, Fallon.”

  I look at him searchingly. “Something you can’t forgive?”

  Something twists in his gaze. “It’s not a matter of forgiveness. It’s more along the lines that I can’t…wrap my head around it. I’m not ready to.”

  “I’m making it worse, aren’t I?” I ask in a troubled voice.

  He shakes his head, his eyes softening. “No, it doesn’t involve you,” he assures.

  “But you guys got into a fight, and that was because of me. I’m not helping the situation.”

  “Fallon, you’re not making anything worse. I promise.”

  “Was it over a girl?” I press, unable to give up on the conversation.

  “No.”

  “Can I somehow help fix it?”

  “No,” he says firmly.

  “Blake, can you give me something at least?” I plead.

  His eyes fix on me. “No offense, but you don’t need to know. It doesn’t involve you,” he reminds lightly.

  I look at him sadly. “I care about you both; it just frustrates me that your friendship doesn’t seem to be salvageable.”

  His lips immediately pull up into a warm smile. “I care about you, too.”

  “Can I at least ask one more thing?” I ask carefully. “Is there a possibility that I might get dragged into whatever happened between you two since I spend time with you both?”

  Blake’s quiet, and he seems to think over what I’d asked. “I don’t know.”

  So it could affect me after all. “Maybe I can help in some way.”

  He shakes his head. “You can’t, Fallon.”

  “Does anyone else know?”

  “No.”

  “Wouldn’t you feel better talking to someone then?” I coax, and I know I’m being pushy, but I want to give it one last try before I give up.

  He releases and audible sigh. “I can’t, Fallon. It might change the way you look at him. I don’t want to hurt him more than I already have, and it’s pretty clear he likes you. A lot.”