What Remains

by Sandra Miller

  It took Tessa less than twenty minutes to pack her bag since her wardrobe was limited to say the least. The only clothing she owned suitable for the beach was a couple pairs of cut offs and a few tank tops and tee shirts. As far as a bathing suit, she hadn’t owned one since Rene’ was born. In fact, just the idea of walking around in one caused her to cringe.

  She never had been a woman who was comfortable enough with her body to display it to anyone, not even her ex. Being raised by a modest and deeply religious mother had left a lasting impression. A woman of faith didn’t offer up her bits and pieces to be viewed by the world, her body belonged to her husband alone, and even then, she needed to practice humility. Although over the years, Tessa had begun to question such a strict code of conduct, the fact that her body showed signs that she had carried and bore four children helped her to adhere to it.

  After calling Rene to tell her she was going out of town and would be able to be reached on her cell, to let her brother and sisters know, Tessa dialed Gregory’s number and waited apprehensively for him to answer.

  “Hello beautiful,” he answered.

  “Hi, Greg. I’m sorry to bother you, but I have to go out of town unexpectedly, so I’m afraid I’ll have to cancel our date for this weekend.”

  “Is everything alright?” The concern in his voice was genuine, leaving Tessa feeling guilty about not offering him the whole truth. But for some reason, telling him she was going away for a week with her employer to the beach sounded less than legitimate all of a sudden.

  “Everything is fine. It’s a work thing, but I’m being paid twice my weekly salary so I can’t really turn it down.”

  “No, I guess not. Will you be able to call me?”

  “Yeah, I’ll have my cell. I’ll call you once I get there and get settled in.”

  Releasing a sigh, Gregory asked, “Can I count on seeing you next weekend?”

  “I’m not sure when I’ll be home, but it’s definitely a date if I am.”

  “You’re killing me, Tessa Maguire, I hope you realize that.”

  “Don’t be so dramatic,” she teased.

  “I’m not being dramatic. You don’t realize how much I look forward to seeing you. You’re very addictive.”

  “I fill a void, but I’m okay with that.”

  “Why are you so mean to me,” Gregory asked, laughing.

  “Because I love the way you’re so easily flustered.”

  “Yeah well, there are plenty of things I’m beginning to love about you.”

  Uncomfortable with the turn their conversation had taken, Tessa told him she had to go, but that she would call him soon. When their call ended, she stared at the phone in her hands and smiled to herself, and was still smiling when Mr. Richards rapped at her door and asked if she was ready. When she affirmed that she was and swung open the door, he looked down at her over-night bag in astonishment.

  “Is that all you’re taking?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “We’re going to be there a week.”

  “It doesn’t take much room to pack a couple pair of shorts and something to sleep in.”

  “I understand that, but I wanted to take you out to a nice dinner a couple of nights while we’re there. You’ve been working hard around here, you deserve it.”

  Waving off the idea, Tessa swept passed him and down the hallway. There was no way she was going to any swanky restaurants on Martha’s Vineyard. Not only would she not know how to act, there was absolutely nothing in her closet for her to wear that wouldn’t end up embarrassing both herself and Mr. Richards. But he didn’t need to know that, nor would he.

  “I’m sure you have plenty of friends there to go out to dinner with. Besides, my idea of dinner on vacation is roasting wienies on a stick over an open fire.”

  Not bothering to respond until they and the retrievers were inside his SUV and pulling out of the driveway, Mr. Richard glanced over at her and smiled sheepishly.

  “What are you grinning about,” Tessa snapped playfully.

  “Roasting wienies, huh?”

  “Yes, what’s wrong with that?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never roasted wienies over a fire before. It sounds a little carnal to me.”

  “It is carnal,” she agreed. “But also very delicious.”

  “There’s just something about slapping a piece of processed meat on a stick that doesn’t sound that appealing.”

  “If you’re not careful, Richie Rich, before you finally come to your senses and fire me, you could be knee deep in the white trash world of fried bologna sandwiches and holler-hopping.”

  Seth Richards laughed out loud and nodded his head. “Now that’s a scary thought.”

  “Yes it is,” she giggled, before they both settled in and chose to remain silent for the remainder of the drive into Amherst.

  It wasn’t until they hit I-90 and had to stop for gas did the conversation pick up again, and it was not as if the silence between them was uncomfortable—not in the least. They both apparently had a lot on their minds, though Tessa doubted his thoughts were as complicated as hers, he was not the one falling in love for possibly the first time. Maybe this trip would offer her some much needed clarity when it came to Gregory Hayes. She had thought of nothing else but him for the past month, and realized she needed to get a handle on the strong emotions they were developing for each other.

  It quickly became evident after their first meeting at the Daily Grind, that Tessa’s assumption that Gregory was simply being nice to her was incorrect. If the things he said to her were true, he was just as smitten. It showed in the fact that he called every morning just to say he was thinking about her, and every evening to say good night, although their nightly conversations usually lasted for well over an hour, if not longer.

  It was hard for her to believe that an eight year age difference seemed to matter so little, if at all. They never struggled to find topics to talk about, to laugh about. Tessa had never met someone with whom she had so much in common. There was something about Gregory that seemed so—right.

  “Thank you, by the way, for coming,” Mr. Richards told her a little awkwardly, proving again that he was unrehearsed in simple displays of graciousness, while intruding on Tessa’s pleasant musings. An intrusion that she welcomed since she could feel the familiar warmth coming over her, as it always did with the mere thought of the young professor.

  “How could I possibly say no when you ordered me so politely?”

  “I wanted to do something nice for you after the way Kristen treated you. I have had a lot of very convoluted and pressing issues to take care of at the firm, and wouldn’t have been able to give them the time and attention they needed if it weren’t for the fact that I knew you had things under control at home. And I appreciate that, very much.”

  “Thank you, that means a lot to me, believe it or not.”

  “Well, you’ve been a delightful surprise, Ms. Maguire, to say the least.”

  “The jury is still out on you, so don’t expect me to reciprocate those feelings just yet,” teased Tess. “Although after living with you, my opinion of Machiavelli has softened a bit.”

  “Really? I’m touched.”

  “You should be. That’s not something easy for me to admit.”

  “Well, before we dive into the subject of class warfare, can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure, why not? I’m always up for a game of ‘drill the maid’.”

  With a grin that seemed unforced for a change, he asked, “What in the hell is holler hopping?”

  Chapter Nine

  “That’s the house, there…” Mr. Richards pointed out with the strong ocean breezes blowing against them as they stood along the rails of the Chappy Ferry that carried them to Chappaquiddick Island.

  The chill in the air and constant spray of salt water coming up from the sides of the ferry as it cut its way across Nantucket Sound, caused Tessa to sink further down into the jacket he had placed around her shoulders. />
  “Oh my goodness, it’s absolutely beautiful,” she exclaimed, once she was able to locate the majestic old house in the distance, with its weathered gray siding standing in sharp contrast to the white shutters and trim. It was still rather large to be a vacation home, but much smaller than most of the places she’d seen dotting the ocean front. “Is that your sail boat?”

  With a proud gleam and longing in his eyes, he nodded his head in affirmation. “That’s her. The Maggie May. She’s named after my grandmother.”

  “That’s so sweet.”

  “Yeah, well, she’s strong and dependable, just like Mems.”

  “Who spoiled you rotten, I bet,” she accused, playfully bumping against him with her shoulder, relieved to finally see this side of her employer after a month of clumsy, strained interactions between them.

  “Not hardly,” he smiled in reverie. “She ruled the household with an iron fist, and still manages to keep me on my toes.”

  “Still? So she’s alive?”

  “She’ll be ninety-three Sunday. That’s why we’re here. The family all gets together on her birthday and throws a big party—food catered in from the best restaurants in New York, endless champagne, live music, dancing under the stars…it’s become the annual event on the island, unfortunately.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me,” Tessa whined, feeling a knot form in the pit of her stomach. “If I had known it was a family thing, I would never have agreed to come.”

  “That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you.”

  “This is so unfair! I can’t believe you drug me here under false pretenses. I should’ve known something was fishy when you said I needed a vacation after only a month.”

  Mr. Richards chuckled when Tessa smacked his arm out of agitation and turned toward the open sea to pout.

  “Don’t be angry with me. I didn’t like the thought of you being there by yourself for an entire week.”

  “Then why not just give me the week off so that I could go visit my children.”

  “You wouldn’t have come back.”

  Although his honesty infuriated her, it also forced Tessa to admit to herself just how transparent she was. Within a few short weeks, he had already guessed her m.o.—modus operandi. Chances were the thought would have crossed her mind more than once after spending time with them, especially with all the uncertainty surrounding her relationship with Gregory. And wasn’t it how she always dealt with emotional issues in her past? If they became too uncomfortable or frightening, she ran away so that the immediate thrill and excitement of starting over; a new city, a new home, a new job would all keep her too preoccupied to have to face anything unpleasant.

  “I’d rather be alone than feel like a party crasher,” she finally answered with some reluctance, realizing he would take her reluctance to rebuke his statement for what it was, her way of telling him he had been correct in his assumption. “I’m never going to forgive you for this, just remember that.”

  After reaching up and tussling the bun on top of her head, as if to say he understood and wouldn’t hold it against her, Mr. Richards said in earnest, “You won’t have to meet my family if you don’t want to, I promise. They all stay at my grandparents’ house over there.”

  Tessa allowed her gaze to follow in the direction of his pointing finger. Just as she figured, the Collins’ family beach house was one of the most opulent ones in sight, and appeared more like a resort hotel than a private residence.

  “I’m going to hold you to your word, because having to deal with one member of the Richards’ clan is about all I can handle.”

  “I’m not that bad, am I?” he questioned with a devilish grin, which caused Tessa to roll her eyes in disgust.

  The two of them spent the late afternoon and into the evening hours uncovering the furniture and making a list of supplies and groceries they would need to pick up at the local market. After Mr. Richards left with the list in hand, Tessa roamed about the house admiring the simple but elegant décor of white on white, and the way the setting sun reflected warmly off every surface through the windows unadorned with drapery. It was breathtaking, leaving her with the desire to soak it all in so that she could set every sight, sound, and scent to memory. Instinctively knowing this was going to be the first and last opportunity she would ever have to enjoy all the beauty wealth could buy.

  As the daylight slowly faded and the house grew darker and less welcoming, the sound of the waves washing ashore and the smell of the salt water lulled her outside to draw closer to it. With Rex and Hank bounding happily at her side, Tessa followed the sandy path past through the tall grasses to the beach. There was no one as far as the eyes could see.

  It was an overwhelming but peaceful experience to be standing by the ocean alone. The sheer power of the tides made her feel small and vulnerable, yet in away, comforted. Perhaps it was a case of waxing poetic, but at that moment Tessa could honestly say the realization of just how insignificant she and all of her problems were, provided a lucidity she had rarely felt in her lifetime.

  Plopping her bottom down in the soft sand and digging her toes down into its warmth, Tessa sat and watched the last of the day’s sunlight vanish beyond the horizon. Rex and Hank continued to chase after one another, and simply couldn’t be stopped from jumping into the waves, no matter how much she scolded them. Unable to keep herself from laughing at their antics, she decided to give up and just enjoy watching them as they played. The love of water had been bred into them, so who was she to try and keep them from being anything but exactly what they were.

  The same could be said for herself, as well. She was instinctively attracted Gregory Hayes, so why not just jump in? Being with him felt natural, it felt good. He made her laugh, he forced her to see things in a more youthful and optimistic way, and being near him made her feel like a woman again; a woman with needs and desires she had never allowed herself to give into. There was no one left to judge her or disappoint. Her children were all living their own lives now, with the freedom to make their own choices, their own mistakes. Why shouldn’t she have the right to do the same?

  When she returned to Amherst, even though her heart may very well get broken, Tessa was going to make some much needed adjustments. The first and most important one was to allow herself to be open to a deeper relationship with a man who found her to be funny and intelligent, and though illogical, attractive, which was quite a contrast to being married to someone for almost twenty years who reminded her daily that she was none of these things.

  The following morning, as Tess cleared away the containers from the Chinese take-out Mr. Richards had brought home from his trip to the market, he entered the kitchen in his pajamas with his hair yet uncombed, and handed her her cell phone. Unable to stifle a broad smile at seeing him for the first time in such a relaxed and natural state, she took the phone from his out stretched hand, causing him to give her a questioning look.

  “It’s your son,” he whispered, before making his way to the coffee pot, where he poured himself a cup and leaned backwards against the counter, seemingly content with standing there as she took her call.

  Whatever, Tessa thought. How many times had she remained in the kitchen cooking or cleaning up as he took a call from the office? Their professional relationship was now one built on mutual respect. The emotional detachment between them allowed for a great deal of openness, it almost had to be since they were living together.

  “Good morning, Sonshine,” she said cheerfully, happy to hear from him.

  “Hey Momma-girl,” his rich baritone voice greeted. There was an underlying enthusiasm she picked up on immediately.

  “What’s up?”

  “I just called to tell you I love you.”

  “Well thank you, I love you too, but what else are you wanting to tell me?”

  “How do you do that,” he laughed.

  “Because I’m your mother and I know things.”

  Out of the corner of her eye, Tessa saw Mr. Richards grin. />
  “I wanted to let you know that your son has been accepted into law school at Ole Miss.”

  Unable to conceal her joy, she gushed, “Oh my goodness, Shane, you’re kidding me!”

  “Nope. I’m leaving for Oxford Mississippi in a few days.”

  “That’s wonderful! I’m so proud of you.”

  Then she immediately relayed the good news to Mr. Richards who was already smiling at her. “Shane was accepted into law school!”

  He nodded his head and softly murmured congratulations to both mother and son. When she put the phone back up to her ear and reiterated how proud she was of him, Shane right away asked to speak with Mr. Richards, which took his mother quite by surprise.

  “I don’t know, son, he’s having his morning coffee right now…” But before she could continue her protest, Mr. Richards was at her side reaching for the phone.

  Tessa looked at him apologetically. “I’m sorry, but he wants to speak to you.”

  “I realize that, so why don’t you give me the phone.”

  With apprehension, she handed over the cell, but stayed close by, confused and curious as to why her son felt the need to talk with her employer. It was such bizarre request. Why on earth would he want to speak with a total stranger? Straining to hear the conversation, she became increasingly frustrated when Mr. Richards refused to say anything except one word acknowledgments to whatever Shane was telling him.