Silver Tears

by Camilla Lackberg

  Alice smiled. “Exactly.”

  “Have you smoked before, then?” Faye said skeptically.

  “Everyone did in Djursholm,” said Alice. “It’s not that I was some gangster. Just a teenager like any other.”

  “I don’t know…” Ylva said hesitantly. “We need to be alert tomorrow too.”

  “Don’t be such a scaredy cat.” Alice waved the hand not holding her margarita dismissively. “Come on, Ylva, how often have you let yourself have some fun in the last few years? How often have you hired a babysitter?”

  “I’m so grateful that your au pair was able…”

  “That’s not what I meant. Faye—you’re in, right?”

  Faye sipped her drink and waggled her toes in the sun.

  “I don’t know whether I—”

  “Dear God, we’re three stunning women in Amsterdam. What did you have in mind for us to do? Sit in our rooms and watch TV? No, I suggest we hang out here for an hour or two, get a bit of a tan and do some daytime drinking, then head out for some nightclubbing this evening—and on the way there we stop at a coffee shop. Okay?”

  Ylva and Faye both muttered something that sounded affirmative, but Ylva looked just as nervous as Faye felt. Alice didn’t waste time, waving over one of the servers and asking him for recommendations for nearby coffee shops. He said the best ones were in the red-light district and suggested they make sure to drink plenty of water. Partly for the heat, but also because newbie hash smokers risked dehydration.

  “It’s cool. I’ve smoked a lot of ganja. I’m like the Bob Marley of Djursholm,” Alice said and giggled.

  Despite missing David, Faye was pleased she had gotten away. A trip with two funny, smart women in a buzzing city like Amsterdam was just what she needed.

  She began to warm to Alice’s plan. She had to dare to live a little. And forget about the problems in her life.

  When the server brought them fresh margaritas, she downed what was left of her old one and accepted the new glass. They were in the eye of the storm. A little relaxation from the chaos and anxiety of what was going on back home. As Alice put it: she needed this.

  * * *

  —

  Five hours later, they were in a coffee shop and had eaten almost a whole space cookie each without anything happening. They couldn’t feel anything. They were disappointed, hot, and bored. And since alcohol wasn’t served in coffee shops, they were drinking their third round of dire cappuccinos. The inebriation from the afternoon by the pool was beginning to wear off and Alice grabbed hold of a girl who worked there—for the third time—to ask how long they would have to wait.

  The girl, who had dreadlocks and a body covered in tattoos, repeated what she had said on the previous two occasions.

  “Wait a little longer.”

  When she had disappeared, Alice shook her head.

  “No, I’m not going to fucking wait,” she said, stuffing her face with the rest of the cookie.

  Two minutes later, Faye could feel her fingertips pricking. She blinked a few times, and then looked searchingly at Ylva, who was staring at her hand with her mouth wide open. The world shook. It was like being lowered into an aquarium with fish swimming around in disco balls.

  She fluttered her eyelids and looked at Alice.

  Alice’s lips were moving, but Faye couldn’t work out whether she had lost her own hearing or whether Alice had lost the power of speech. She looked around. Everything was ebbing and flowing, swaying. She tried to speak but the moment she opened her mouth, she became uncertain about whether she had already said what she wanted to say. She thought about it until she realized she had forgotten what she wanted to say in the first place.

  Ylva was giggling, forming her fingers into different shapes that she claimed were animals and holding them up.

  “It’s a monkey—can you tell, Faye? A monkey.”

  She suddenly stood up and Faye stretched out a hand toward her.

  “You should probably stay here,” she tried to say, but her tongue wouldn’t obey her and Alice burst into a torrent of laughter.

  Alice placed a hand on Faye’s.

  “Sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “For being such a bitch before. For everything.”

  They fell into each other’s arms.

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “I’m so glad you’ve found that David guy,” Alice slurred.

  She stroked Faye’s forearm with her fingertips.

  “Me too.”

  Faye had never felt better. The initial fear had gone. Everything was wonderful, warm, and friendly. She smiled and waved to a pair of Asian tourists.

  Alice spouted a long tirade of words, and Faye was able to make out only the occasional one.

  “Faye?”

  Alice tapped her on the shoulder.

  “Faye?”

  She took her eyes off the tourists.

  “Where’s Ylva?” asked Alice.

  “I’m Ylva. And I’m Alice. I’m falling and falling and this is wonderland. You’re a tiny rabbit!”

  Her mouth was dry as sandpaper. Faye reached for the water.

  Alice’s head was moving in circles, as if she was vibing to a song, but no matter how much Faye tried she couldn’t hear anything.

  “I think we need to find Ylva.”

  Alice stood up, supporting herself against the table.

  “Ylva!” she called out. “Ylva!”

  Faye got to her feet. She was on the verge of falling over, but was caught by Alice. For a moment, they almost tumbled to the floor, but Alice managed to keep them upright.

  “We’ll find her. Let’s head off on an expedition to find our friend.”

  “Let’s do it.”

  They slowly went down the steps and staggered unsteadily toward a door. It turned out to be a back door and they emerged into a deserted, narrow alley. Ylva was lying on the ground on her back next to some bins. Faye had a shock when she saw her eyes—she could only see the whites and Ylva appeared to be having physical spasms.

  Her dizziness was gone at once. Faye was sharp and completely clearheaded as she threw herself to her knees beside Ylva and tried to bring her to life, without success.

  Faye could feel the panic rising.

  “Ylva!” she screamed. “Ylva, wake up!”

  Behind her she heard Alice calling out.

  “Call an ambulance! She’s dying! Please call an ambulance!”

  Faye put Ylva in the recovery position and stroked her sweaty brow while Alice rushed back inside the coffee shop to fetch a member of the staff.

  “Ylva, don’t die. Please, Ylva, don’t die.”

  Faye grabbed hold of her small hand with its bitten nails and held it firmly. Memories of sitting beside Chris in the hospital in the final hours came back to haunt her. Why had they come here? Why had they had to try space cookies? In truth, Faye hated drugs, hated not being in control. Now the adventure had cost them Ylva’s life. Why couldn’t she have made do with not knowing? So goddamn fucking stupid. The guilt was suffocating her.

  “There they are.” Behind her, Faye heard Alice’s voice. Tense. Almost a falsetto. “Help her. You’ve got to help her. She’s dying!”

  Faye turned her head. A burly man was sauntering toward them.

  “Hurry up,” Faye screeched desperately.

  Jesus, they were slow! He didn’t seem to be taking it seriously—he didn’t look at all worried.

  He stopped beside Faye and bent forward.

  “Don’t worry, ladies, this happens all the time. Her blood sugar level is low. I’ll give you some sugar for her. Then get her in a cab back to your hotel and give her some food and water.”

  Ylva suddenly opened her eyes and Faye sobbed with relief.

  “Are you sure?” s
aid Alice, flinging her arms around the astonished man.

  “I’m sure, ladies. This happens about ten times every day,” he said, laughing.

  Then he produced a paper packet of sugar from his shorts pocket, bit off the top, and asked Ylva to stick out her tongue, which she did drowsily. Her body was still shuddering with peculiar spasms, and she was murmuring incomprehensibly.

  “Good girl,” he said, patting her on the head.

  Faye was on the verge of tears she was so relieved. They hadn’t killed Ylva.

  * * *

  —

  Half an hour later, they were sitting on Faye’s bed—red-eyed but otherwise fine—after having ordered practically every single dish on the room service menu. There was a knock on the door, and Alice got off the bed to answer it. Two members of the hotel staff dressed in white rolled in cart after cart filled with food. Hamburgers, pasta, big chunks of meat, fish, fried chicken, french fries. Large jugs of ice water.

  The celebratory meal was served in the lounge area. The men wished the ladies a pleasant meal with a smirk—they probably knew what the dinner was for—and then they disappeared.

  Faye, Alice, and Ylva threw themselves at the food, shoveling it onto their plates before settling back onto the bed to eat it. Faye had never eaten more delicious or desperately needed food. They drank glass after glass of water.

  When they were done, they stretched out—sated and contented—on the big bed with their hands on their tummies.

  “I have to take off my trousers,” Alice murmured. “Otherwise I’m going to hurl.”

  “Good idea,” said Faye.

  They followed Alice’s example and kicked off their trousers so that they were all lying there in their underwear.

  “You scared us back in that alley,” said Faye.

  “What happened?” Alice asked.

  Ylva shook her head slowly.

  “I’m not really sure. I remember standing and talking to someone, but then I collapsed and couldn’t get up. I lay there for a while like a beetle on its back, trying to get to my feet, but then I gave up. The next thing I remember is you two bending over me.”

  They switched on the TV and zapped lazily between channels.

  Ylva drifted off first, then Alice’s eyelids began to flutter. Eventually, both of them were snoring away on either side of Faye. She got out of bed, took her mobile out of her bag, and went onto the balcony. The night air was cooler. She enjoyed the gusts of cool air on her bare legs. Below her, the traffic was moving sluggishly. She sat down at the table and saw that she had missed a call from David. She was immediately concerned and called him back.

  “Hi, darling, I was at a loose end earlier and started thinking about Revenge and the American expansion,” he said, and Faye could almost see his smile in front of her. “I got completely caught up in it—you really do inspire me, you know. I’ve got quite a lot of capital that needs investing, so I’ve put together a proposal that I’d like you to look at. If you want to, that is?”

  Faye’s own smile grew even wider.

  “Of course.”

  “You don’t think I’m sticking my nose in, then?”

  “Of course I don’t. How did it go with the girls and Johanna?”

  “She wants to try again, but I’ve explained that it’s you I want to be with.”

  “How did she take it?”

  “Not especially well, but why don’t we talk about that later? I don’t want to ruin your weekend with Alice and Ylva.”

  “I miss you,” said Faye.

  “And I miss you.”

  When they had ended their call, Faye saw that she had a text message from Kerstin. She opened it and her good mood was gone at once. Yvonne Ingvarsson had been to the apartment looking for her. She slowly put down the phone. She had to do something about that Yvonne. She was playing with fire and one of them was going to get burned soon. Faye had no intention of it being her.

  “Dear God, how could I let myself be talked into doing this?” said Ylva, putting her hands to her head.

  “Surely you’re not still hungover,” Alice said airily, waving at the server to bring her a new drink.

  More patrons were beginning to fill the hotel bar and the rising hubbub made Ylva massage her temples.

  “I was lying in an alley yesterday. In Amsterdam. After eating a hash cookie in a coffee shop. I think I’ve earned the right to be slightly hungover today.”

  “Well, I can’t feel a thing,” Alice said cheerily, smiling at the server as he brought her a fresh cosmopolitan.

  “I’m thrilled for your sake,” Ylva muttered. “Beyond thrilled.”

  Faye looked at her with a frown.

  “You’re the one who says we’ve got work to do here,” she said. “Alice and I still don’t know what this is about. Are you going to be up to it?”

  “Give me a couple of hours, an Alka-Seltzer, and some acetaminophen and I’ll be right back on track. So, yes, it’s still on. And, yes, I’m going to explain. I just need to get this…throbbing headache out of my head.”

  “You don’t need fucking acetaminophen—you need the hair of the dog,” Alice said dryly, gesturing to the server once again.

  He came over briskly, bowing slightly.

  “A Long Island iced tea. And a tequila shot. For her,” Alice said in English, pointing to Ylva.

  She groaned.

  “You’ll be the death of me, Alice.”

  “Sweetie, I’m a Lidingö housewife. I know how to get rid of a hangover.”

  The cocktails arrived, and with a desperate but hopeful look at Alice, Ylva took both glasses.

  “I’m trusting you right now.”

  “You can always trust me,” Alice said magnanimously.

  Faye looked amused as Ylva downed her tequila shot in one go with a grimace.

  “Bottoms up. But now I really want to know why you dragged us all the way to Amsterdam. Right in the middle of a monumental crisis.”

  “The Swedish Patent and Registration Office,” Ylva said.

  Alice, who had just taken a big mouthful of her cosmopolitan, coughed her drink onto the table.

  “The Swedish Patent and Registration Office?” she said, wiping her mouth.

  Faye was also staring at Ylva, who reached for her Long Island iced tea. She was actually gaining a bit of color.

  “They’re having a conference here this weekend. At this hotel. The big party’s tonight…”

  “And?” Alice said with irritation.

  “Yes—I’m not sure I’m with you either,” Faye said, holding out her hands.

  “Revenge. Rights. Patents. Plan B?” Ylva attempted.

  Faye shook her head.

  “Nope. Still not with you. Alice?”

  Alice shook her head too and then winked at a man at the next table.

  “Alice, focus and I’ll explain,” said Ylva.

  Faye noticed that Ylva was enjoying being one step ahead. She was welcome to this one.

  “But seriously, Ylva…what are we supposed to do about the fact that the Patent and Registration Office is here?”

  Ylva gave a wry smile. She looked around, lowered her voice, and explained her plan in short. Alice laughed out loud.

  “That’s genius, Ylva! You’re amazing.”

  “You too, Alice. And you’re going to be an important resource tonight.”

  Faye raised her eyebrows.

  “Do you have any idea what you’re unleashing here, Ylva?”

  “I’m counting on the fact that I do,” Ylva said with a grin.

  An hour later, the three of them were all tipsy and Ylva pointed at the bar.

  “There. Kent, Börje, and Eyvind.”

  She looked at Faye and Alice.

  “You know what you have to do?”

&nbs
p; “You’ve explained that most clearly,” Faye said, downing a Hot Shot.

  “We’re hot, we’re funny, we’re smart,” said Ylva, still keeping her eye on the men at the bar. “It’ll be like taking candy from a baby. We’ll just have to hope they don’t recognize you, Faye.”

  “They work at the Patent and Registration Office. I hardly think they’ll know who Faye is,” Alice said thickly, and Ylva hushed her.

  “They’re not the only ones who are here. The whole department is. But they’re not due to eat dinner for another two hours. We’ve got time.”

  Alice stood up, swaying slightly.

  “Time to pull ourselves together,” said Ylva, steadying her.

  Alice took a deep red lipstick from her handbag and applied it liberally to her lips.

  “Mes dames,” Ylva said, making an ushering gesture toward the bar.

  Alice strode up to Kent, Börje, and Eyvind on her long legs.

  “Did I hear you speaking Swedish?”

  The men looked at Alice in delight and were even more delighted when Ylva and Faye joined them. Three drinks later—on the Patent Office’s tab—the six of them were on their way up to Faye’s big suite for a cocktail aperitif.

  Ylva had picked out Kent, while Faye was charming Börje and Eyvind was close at Alice’s side with puppy dog eyes.

  When they reached the room, Ylva had prepared a drinks table with every form of alcohol and mixer anyone could ever ask for.

  The men exchanged small yelps of delight.

  “Bloody hell, what a place! Börje, we haven’t got rooms like this!”

  “Jesus Christ, Kent, this is what I call a hotel room! This must be one of those soooouuuuites!”

  “Suite,” Alice said, throwing herself onto the sofa and pulling Eyvind alongside her. “Faye, darling. Won’t you mix me and this sweetie a G&T each?”

  Faye stifled a smile. Alice was eating poor Eyvind for breakfast.

  She made a drink each for Alice and Eyvind and then turned her attention to Börje and Kent. Börje was looking at his watch anxiously.

  “Isn’t dinner in an hour?”

  “Don’t worry,” Kent said quickly, happily accepting an enormous drink from Ylva. “We’ll have a quick drink here with the ladies, and we’ll be down in time for when it starts. It’s fashionable to be late, anyway!”