Silver Tears

by Camilla Lackberg

  Ylva looked up, glanced from her daughter to Faye, and then opened her mouth to protest. Faye interrupted her.

  “This isn’t up for discussion—it’s strictly a business decision on my part. If you live here your work will be poorer, and you’ll always be worrying that Jack might come back. And since your duties involve assessing new investors in Revenge, that affects me too. You’ve already shown me what you’re made of. You’ve given me what I need and you’ve been loyal.”

  Ylva smiled feebly.

  “Thanks.”

  “Until you find a new place, I don’t think Alice would mind you and this little lady moving in with her. She’s pretty lonely in her big house out on Lidingö in the weeks when she hasn’t got the kids. And Jack won’t find you there.”

  Ylva wiped away the last of the tears.

  “That sounds good,” she said. “That means I can carry on going through the investors in peace and quiet.”

  Faye winced. She still hadn’t said anything to the others about David wanting to invest in Revenge’s American expansion. Ylva had warned her against mixing business and her personal life again, so they would probably end up at loggerheads about her considering David as a potential investor. David’s proposal would be reviewed just as thoroughly as all the others and on the same terms—that was important to Faye. He had turned up last, so he’d be assessed last. If they got that far. There was a lot to deal with first.

  “Pack a bag with your essentials and we’ll take a cab to Alice’s. I’ll call her now,” Faye said, sitting down at the table with Nora on her knee.

  She was longing to be in Madrid. She would regroup and return to Stockholm with a plan to destroy Jack. And stop Henrik’s attempt to steal Revenge from her.

  PART THREE

  Residents at a property in Östermalm raised the alarm on Tuesday night when they heard screams and shouts from an apartment. “It sounds like someone’s being killed,” a woman said when she called in.

  When uniformed officers arrived on the scene, there was no one there. A police spokesperson declined to issue any further comment on the incident.

  Aftonbladet, 26 June

  David’s mobile rang. Once again, it said Johanna on the display and he sighed, turned it over on the table, and tried to look unconcerned.

  Faye smiled at him and David returned her smile.

  They were in a tapas restaurant beside a beautiful cobbled square, not far from the Puerta del Sol.

  The sun had set but the evening was still scorching hot. The dulcet tones of street buskers echoed between the whitewashed façades. Faye was wearing a thin white dress, while David was wearing a pale blue linen shirt and thin cotton trousers.

  A plate of garlic-fried gambas had arrived and was sitting between them, while to Faye’s right there was a bottle of Chardonnay at rest, tempting her in its silver ice bucket.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Faye asked, nodding at the phone.

  David shook his head.

  “Not really. I don’t want to talk about anything that isn’t to do with us.”

  “Then we won’t.”

  “We’ll just have to confront all that stuff when we get home. Can’t we just be in the here and now, you and I, in Europe’s most beautiful city?”

  Faye raised her glass.

  “You’re right.”

  “I’m so incredibly in love with you—do you know that?” said David.

  Despite Johanna’s persistent attempts to ruin their trip, they’d had two amazing days in Madrid. Faye fell more in love with David with every minute she spent in his company. He was considerate and kind. Held the door open, pulled out her chair, insisted on paying for everything, bought her flowers and chocolate. Yet he was also modern in his views on equality in a completely straightforward way, and he could grasp that women were treated as second-class citizens in comparison to men. In the boardroom, in the street, in educational institutions. He was interested in what she had to say and asked follow-up questions. Not out of a sense of obligation, but because he was genuinely interested in her thoughts and opinions. His eyes sparkled when she spoke. He made her feel appreciated and loved in a way that Faye had never felt before.

  Faye realized that she was smiling and David was looking at her quizzically, but she merely shook her head and waved it away. It was impossible to put her emotions into words.

  “Excuse me.”

  David stood up to go to the men’s room. The restaurant’s toilets were in one of the buildings lining the square. Faye followed him with her eyes. His mobile phone was still on the table. For a moment, she considered picking it up, going through his conversations with Johanna, trying to understand what she wanted. Seeing how he addressed her. She had made a note of his PIN on one occasion when he had entered it in front of her. But she left the phone where it was. She wanted to show she trusted him.

  Going through David’s private correspondence would be an intrusion into his personal life. And even if he never found out, she would know what had happened. Instead, she turned her attention to the patrons scattered around her. Faye had noticed that many couples barely spoke to each other. Instead, they sat there scrolling on their mobiles, their eyes dead. It was a waste of time—a waste of life. Beneath a big tree, there were some children playing, chasing each other with laughter. Faye smiled sadly. She wished Julienne could have been here to meet David. He could be the father she had missed since Jack had abandoned them.

  The realization hit her like a slap in the face. She realized that she could see a future in which she one day had children with David.

  Her train of thought was interrupted by his voice.

  “Faye…”

  He sat down opposite her. All of a sudden, he looked anxious, and the worry put a knot in her stomach. Something was wrong, she could see that on his face. She gripped the edge of the table, readying herself for what was about to come.

  “Faye, I’ve been thinking…”

  She swallowed. No matter what he said, she would try to behave with dignity. Not show weakness.

  “I’ve been thinking about how we thrive together,” David continued. “Well, I can only speak for myself. I love being with you. And I hope you love being with me.”

  He looked at her questioningly, with an expression of vulnerability that he rarely displayed. Faye reached across the table in relief and took his hand.

  “I love being with you,” she said.

  David’s azure eyes seemed to shine more brightly than ever. He squeezed her hand.

  “I know it’s early days, but I can’t stand being apart from you. I’d like it if we started looking for somewhere together—a home that we can create for ourselves. A new beginning. I hope you don’t think I’m getting ahead of myself.”

  He looked away in embarrassment.

  The waiter arrived with more dishes that he set down in front of them: pimientos de Padrón, tortillas, jamón, croquetas, and albóndigas.

  Faye heard herself laugh. A laugh that rose up into the velvety dark Spanish night, among the cobblestones and brick walls. Somewhere a little way off, probably at one of the many other restaurants nearby, someone began to play a violin, a heartfelt, melodious sound that slowly wound its way through the narrow streets.

  “I’d really like to share a home with you, David. Can’t you move into the apartment that I’m renting for the time being? Until we can get something of our own. I’ve already been asked whether I want to extend my contract, and you’ve given me a reason to spend more time in Sweden.”

  “Sure?”

  David squeezed her hand again.

  “It can be a tryout,” she said, smiling at him. “You can move in as soon as I’m on track with the American expansion.”

  David pulled a small package from his trouser pocket, beautifully wrapped with a white ribbon around it.
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  “Don’t worry,” he said with a wry smile. “It’s not a ring.”

  He winked.

  “Not yet, anyway.”

  Faye cupped the package in her hands, trying to guess what was inside it, but of course it was impossible. Slowly, she removed the bow and lifted the lid. Inside was a beautiful, ornate silver locket on a chain.

  She lifted it out carefully.

  “I love it. It’s wonderful.”

  “You happened to mention that Kate Gabor photographed you and your…your family on some occasion before it all happened. So I got in touch with her, explained who I was and why I wanted her help. Open the locket, Faye.”

  Faye looked at the silver locket. With trembling fingers, she opened it gently. She saw her favorite photo of her and Julienne. The love between them was so powerful—she was stroking her daughter’s hair with such tenderness. Faye stared at the portrait. And then at David. She blinked away the tears.

  The violinist was now playing “Kalinka.” The darkness of the night enveloped them and Faye realized she was happier than she had been for a long time. Then she remembered what she had with her. For David. She wiped away the tears and took the box containing the Patek Philippe wristwatch. She’d been waiting for the right moment to give it to him. As she watched him unwrap it, she put the locket around her neck and stroked it lovingly.

  Maybe, just maybe, she was ready for a new family.

  Neither Faye nor David wanted the evening to end, so when they had finally eaten every single tapas dish and paid the bill, they strolled through the streets of Madrid, hand in hand. The city felt enchanted. More alive than anywhere else that Faye could remember. There were musicians on every street corner playing their beautiful, lingering melodies. Children played football or were absorbed in noisy games. Loved drunk couples were sitting on park benches. Young people were smoking weed and drinking wine on the grass.

  Everything was bathed in the deep golden hue cast by the streetlights.

  David and Faye didn’t say much—words felt superfluous and inadequate—but occasionally they would stop and look at each other, smiling happily.

  Eventually, David suggested they have a nightcap. So they sat down at a rickety table outside, side by side, facing the street, and ordered a bottle of wine.

  Faye looked at David.

  Her heart was beating so hard in her breast.

  “When I’m with you, I don’t feel bad about anything,” she said. “Instead, I want to tell you about my weaknesses, the things I’m ashamed of, to get them out into the open. Apart from Chris, I’ve never felt like that with anyone.”

  “It’s the same for me. I think it’s because we both know the other doesn’t have any ulterior motives. The weaknesses and failures are never going to be used as weapons against us.”

  A waiter in a white shirt, black waistcoat, and bow tie opened the bottle of wine and let Faye try it. She nodded and he poured them a glass each before setting the bottle in an ice bucket, bowing, and disappearing.

  Faye wanted to tell David everything about her life, while at the same time she knew she couldn’t do that. But one day, she would have to tell him about Julienne, otherwise a life together would be impossible. There were a lot of things you could sweep under the carpet, but a daughter wasn’t one of them.

  “Around a week before we met for the first time, I was in Rome,” she said. “I was wandering around on my own. I found a party. There was a young couple there. We talked for a while and I went home with them.”

  David raised his eyebrows, bringing his glass to his lips. A moped whizzed past at high speed. The street smelled of gasoline. Somewhere, a dog was barking.

  “It was fascinating to be so close to two people who were so in love, and somehow, to become part of their love. It was the most intimate thing I’ve experienced. Making love with another woman’s man while she watched. Do you understand?”

  David looked at her seriously.

  “I think so.”

  A couple passed them, hand in hand. They were wearing workout clothes.

  “It was so clear they were doing it for each other’s sake. That I was an instrument of their pleasure. A way to give each other pleasure. It was a new and special feeling. Almost an out-of-body experience.”

  Faye sighed. The watch glittered on David’s wrist and he kept glancing at it in delight. But for some reason she felt sad. Although she knew she ought to be happy, the melancholy was powerful.

  “We women are raised to be so afraid that someone is going to steal our man—our partner—so we limit ourselves. We remain constantly vigilant for any sign of betrayal. I’m never going to live like that again. I was betrayed by Jack, but I’m going to trust you. That’s my choice. Otherwise I’m committing violence on my own life. Limiting it. I hope you never let me down, but that’s on you—not me.”

  He fumbled for her hand, concealing it in his own.

  “I’m not going to let you down, Faye.”

  The glow from the candle was reflected in the watch on his wrist. Faye squeezed his hand tightly. She wanted him as a safe harbor in which to rest—a refuge where she didn’t have to think about everything else she was grappling with. But if she was serious about letting him into her life, he had to know more about what was going on.

  She took a deep breath. It was time.

  “Someone is trying to buy out Revenge. And that someone is alarmingly close to succeeding.”

  FJÄLLBACKA—THEN

  I had left my shoes somewhere in the cabin. When the boys finally let me out, I just wanted to get away from there. So I stumbled out into the dusk and across the rocks barefoot.

  Roger, Tomas, and Sebastian dragged the luggage—now significantly easier to handle since the heaviest thing, the beer crate, was almost empty. I walked at the back of the column. Ahead of me, their broad, tanned backs jogged along. At the beginning, the plan had been to go home earlier, while it was still light. But they had insisted on staying a bit longer. And given that I was locked in the cabin, it didn’t much matter what I thought about it.

  Over the past forty-eight hours, they had come in to see me whenever it pleased them—always all of them together. Never one by one. After the third time, I stopped protesting—I just lay there and let them do what they wanted.

  My body ached. It was bloodied and stank of cum, sweat, and beer. It was a constant battle not to throw up.

  “It was more fun when she put up a fight,” Roger had said when I parted my legs for him.

  They never spoke directly to me. Not when they were raping me. Not before or after either. Instead, they talked to each other about me as if I were a loyal, long-serving pet.

  I barely felt any joy when they let me out and said it was time to go home.

  They had already packed. All I had to do was plod along behind them.

  The dinghy was tied up where we had left it and they loaded the stuff aboard. The atmosphere was different now. Surly. Inflammable. I kept quiet so as not to further irritate them. To avoid drawing their ire.

  After having breathed the rotten stench of the cabin for two days, tasting the sea air was like new life.

  I looked toward the rocks and trees from my position at the back of the dinghy. I thought to myself how different they looked now compared with when I had arrived. It wasn’t just the light, it was also that I—the observer—was a different person.

  We climbed aboard the sailboat and Tomas started the engine. He gestured for me to go over to him. I got up and slowly went to him, wrapped in a blanket I had found.

  I waited patiently with my arms around my body.

  There was a cold wind.

  “You don’t tell anyone about this. Ever. Got it?”

  I didn’t answer.

  Tomas let go of the wheel, grabbed my arm, and looked me in the eye.

  “G
ot it? You’re just a stupid whore. If you tell anyone I’ll throttle you.”

  Then he smiled and the sparkle was back.

  “And why would you tell? You liked it—I could see that.”

  Tomas put his arm around me and I let him. Even though his touch disgusted me. It seemed like an eternity since I’d felt his eyes on me while I’d been in the bow. An eternity since I’d allowed myself to feel any kind of hope.

  “She won’t squeal,” said Sebastian. “I promise to make sure she doesn’t squeal. After all, it was me who trained her up.”

  I stared toward the horizon and put my hand to my breast, but stiffened as I stood there with Tomas’s arm around me. The necklace that Mom had given me was gone. The beautiful charm with its silver tears was back in the cabin. I turned my head. Yxön was no longer visible.

  The necklace was gone forever.

  “Can I come by sometimes?” Tomas said. “You’ll share with me, right, Sebastian?”

  Tomas squeezed my shoulder. Then he licked my cheek. Slowly. Wetly.

  “Of course I can come around, can’t I, Matilda? After all, you like me.”

  I nodded slowly. I felt his beery breath and the pain in my upper arm, which he was still squeezing with his hand, and something happened inside me. For the first time in my life, I realized that sometimes it was necessary to kill.

  “I heard that you’ve made a new acquisition in Rome…”

  “Good news travels fast,” said Faye, flashing a broad grin at Jaime da Rosa, the owner and CEO of a Spanish beauty company.

  They weren’t the biggest in Spain, but just like Giovanni’s company in Italy, they were a key to several of the manufacturing, distribution, and logistics gaps that Revenge needed to fill before they could take the American market by storm. They had indulged in a bit of small talk and dined on some divinely delicious tapas, but now—over a cup of espresso—it was time to get down to business.