Choosing You (Thirsty Hearts Book 2)

by Kris Jayne

  “You didn’t imply that something was wrong?”

  “No. He asked how Shannon seemed when I saw her, and I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. I told him that I was staying out of the communication between you and Shannon, and I gave him your number.”

  “He asked you how she was and you dodged the question?”

  Taryn stopped and thought back to the conversation she’d had with the officer. He caught her off guard with so many questions. She’d wanted to get him off the phone. But she hadn’t said anything about Shannon’s being high or in trouble. She knew that. Why didn’t Jeff believe her?

  “I didn’t dodge the question. I told him three or four times to discuss the situation with you.”

  “That’s what he said you said. That there was a situation. What else is a probation officer going to think?”

  Taryn slammed her hand on the console, breaking one of her nails.

  “I genuinely tried to do what you asked. It’s not like I called him. He already knew something was up when she didn’t check in with him. Was I supposed to lie to throw him off her scent? The probation officer’s suspicions have got nothing to do with me. And if that woman failed a drug test, that has got nothing to do with me. I mean, it’s ridiculous, Jeff.”

  “You’re saying you had no intention to plant seeds about Shannon’s problems with him?”

  “Wow. So worried about her. Poor little helpless Shannon. You know what? Do whatever you’re going to do, Jeff. Like I don’t know what that is. You’ll go bail her out and rescue her. You’ll feel fucking sorry for her, and blame me like I held her down and made her shoot up or swallow pills or whatever she does to try to forget how sad her life is. I am not having this conversation with you anymore.”

  Then, Taryn did something she’d never, ever done, no matter how angry she got. She hung up on Jeff. Then, she did something she’d done too many times since Shannon started popping up in her life like a hellish whack-a-mole. She burst into tears.

  Half an hour later, she’d recovered somewhat in the restaurant bathroom and joined her cousin at a corner table, luckily out of sight of the other tables. Glad that Alexa picked their favorite soul food restaurant, Taryn reached for a biscuit in the napkin-wrapped basket of fresh breads and slathered it with butter. None of this was on her pre-wedding diet plan. Neither was the chicken fried steak she’d ordered even though she knew gravy was, at best, a short-term fix for her distress.

  Her mother raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Taryn glanced over at Alexa’s veggie plate and then down at gravy-covered monstrosity still steaming hot on her plate. Screw it. She cut into it, pairing the bite with a dollop of mashed potatoes. She savored the meaty, salty, creamy perfection of it. She slashed away at her lunch and filled Alexa in on what happened.

  “He is so protective of her,” Taryn rasped. “After all this time, he still feels responsible for her. It’s like I’ve stumbled into an episode of Big Love, and I’m his second wife.”

  “Doesn’t she have any family?” Taryn’s mom, Annabelle, asked.

  “No. Her foster family stopped speaking to her after she burglarized their house. They didn’t turn her into the police, mind you, but they stopped talking to her. Everyone is so careful to make her feel okay, that they accept her nonsense. Unquestioned.”

  Taryn threw her hands up.

  “It does sound like she had a hard life,” Annabelle ventured.

  “Sweet Jesus. I know. But she’s over thirty now. It sounds harsh, but get over it already. That’s what I want to tell her and Jeff. Get over it! And to make matters worse, not only is he running off to save her butt again, but he’s blaming me for her getting arrested.”

  “He has no right to be pissed off at you. None,” Alexa agreed. “Don’t let him put that on you. Frankly, once an officer of the court calls you and asks you a direct question, it’s shady to avoid telling him the truth. I mean, I know why you did it, but even that is more than he should ask of you.”

  “He shouldn’t be angry with you, but maybe he’ll calm down. Jeff isn’t an irrational person. He’s under stress and probably said some things he shouldn’t have. You have to be there to help him through this,” Taryn’s mom advised.

  That’s all she’d tried to do. Taryn always thought she’d do anything for Jeff, but the progression of the last several weeks tested her resolve as well as her patience.

  “It’s all been too much. She’s taken his help and thrown it in his face. She stole from him. Now she’s doing drugs again. It doesn’t matter to her that she could go to jail and disappear from Olivia’s life as quickly as she came. She doesn’t care what that does to her daughter.”

  “Wait. She stole from him?” Alexa asked.

  “Oh,” Taryn said and shook her head. “I haven’t even told you guys what the investigator report said. I didn’t want to get into it. But she stole a watch—an expensive one—from the house and her criminal boyfriend pawned it. Jeff seems more concerned about shielding her from the law than Shannon does. That’s why I don’t get how Jeff seems madder at me than he is at her.”

  Taryn’s shoulders slumped. They were getting married in six weeks. Counting RSVPs and making sure her dress fits should be the only things worrying her. She and Jeff should be happy and hopeful—not yelling at each other over the phone.

  “He’s bound to realize how unfair he’s being, honey. Just tell him that you’re sorry if the probation officer got the wrong idea that was not your intention and let him work through it,” her mother said.

  “I don’t know what I’m supposed to be sorry about. I didn’t say anything!” Taryn’s voice wavered.

  “Saying your sorry isn’t always about saying you shouldn’t have done something. Sometimes it’s about saying you agree that the outcome hurt the other person. It’s about acknowledgement of how Jeff feels,” her mother explained.

  “I know how he feels. I don’t get why he feels that way. I truly don’t. I don’t know how I can apologize. Shannon got arrested because Shannon was already on probation, and she didn’t do what she was supposed to do. Period.” Taryn emphatically stabbed a piece of her steak.

  “As soon as he picks her up and she starts making excuses and all that, he’ll get a reminder of who’s important to him and why,” Alexa said.

  “I hope so. I keep thinking about our wedding. He’s so mad,” Taryn cried.

  Annabelle tucked her arm around Taryn’s shoulders while Alexa looked on with sympathy.

  “Talk to him,” her mother told her. “Focus on where you’re going together.”

  “You’ll have to talk with him anyway. Don’t you have wedding stuff to discuss?” Alexa asked.

  “Yeah. The seating chart. The song list. We have to check on a few people who haven’t responded yet. There are a million things, and all of it feels so insignificant right now.” Taryn bit her bottom lip.

  Alexa reached across the table to take Taryn’s hand in hers. “You tell me what you need, and I’ll take care of it. I can make phone calls, confirm details, whatever you need. Micky and I are already working on your bachelorette party.” Alexa grinned.

  “Oh, Lord, do I want to hear this?” Annabelle questioned.

  Taryn rolled her eyes. “You better not get me into any more trouble. I don’t think I can afford it.”

  “Don’t talk like that. It’s going to be fine.”

  “I hope so.”

  “Let’s finish our lunch and then head back to your place, sweetie. Alexa and I can take some things off your plate, and you can rest. How does that sound?”

  “Like a plan.” Taryn sniffled.

  She sliced off another bite of steak and swirled it in gravy. The comfort food needed to work a little harder to erase the apprehension settling over her.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  When she got there Saturday evening, the silence of Jeff’s house alarmed her.

  “Hey, Jeff?”

  She then heard footsteps and the closing of his o
ffice door from the front of the house.

  “Hey.”

  “Is Olivia here? It’s so quiet.”

  “She’s at my parents. I thought it would be better if we were alone.”

  Taryn swallowed. She wanted him to hold her or give her some sign of affection. Instead, he stood there in the family room. His mouth pressed into a firm line.

  “Did you get Shannon out of jail?”

  “Not yet. I spent most of the day on the phone with a series of astonishingly unhelpful people. It’s hard to get anything done on a Saturday. She hasn’t gone before the judge yet to fix her bond. That should happen later today, and then I might be able to get her out tomorrow afternoon. Otherwise, it might not be until Monday or Tuesday. The weekend throws a wrench into getting her out quickly. Hopefully, she’ll be fine until then.”

  His concern for Shannon irked Taryn. Could he be more worried about Shannon and how she’d survive a weekend in jail than he was about the troubling distance between them? Shannon was hardly a stranger to incarceration.

  Taryn wanted to yell at Jeff and ask him how dare he stand there talking about Shannon. That’s not why she was here. Instead, she tried to start by seeing things from his perspective.

  “It must be hard to deal with her being in jail. I hope you can understand that wasn’t my intention. I didn’t say anything to her probation officer intentionally or otherwise to give him the impression there was something wrong with her. He was already suspicious when he called.”

  “You dodged his questions. Your silence spoke volumes to him.”

  “I wasn’t going to lie. You tell me what I was supposed to say.”

  “All you had to tell him was that you saw her a few days before and dropped her off at home.”

  “I did that, and he asked how I thought she was.”

  “And you’re telling me that no part of you wanted to get Shannon into trouble?”

  “No. Part of me wanted to tell the truth because she’s been nothing but a problem ever since she came back, but I didn’t say anything to him except that he should talk to you. He took what he wanted to from our conversation to make a case he was already building. You cannot blame me for that. I know my intention. And if you don’t believe me…” Taryn nearly choked on her next words. “We have bigger problems than Shannon.”

  “I think you believe your helping, Taryn. I do, but it’s not.”

  “And you think it’s doing her a favor to help her avoid taking responsibility for putting herself in a tough spot? You can bail her out, but you’re just putting off the inevitable. She’ll screw up again—bigger and better than last time. And she’ll take you down with her. Maybe on purpose. Maybe just because the shitstorm around her is bound to hit anyone nearby. I don’t get how you don’t see that. She’s not your friend. She’s not your helpful co-parent. I know you don’t see it like this, but there’s not another way to put it. She’s the enemy. She’s working against you.”

  “No, Taryn. Like it or not, she’s family. Now that Shannon is back, that’s what she is. She’s Olivia’s family. I can’t do anything about that. So I have to do what I can to hold my family together. It’s not like Paul and I have any ideas for a functional time machine so I can go back and not get Shannon pregnant. And at this point, I wouldn’t anyway. I wouldn’t trade Olivia for anything.”

  Taryn gasped. “I’m not asking you to. The problem isn’t what happened eight years ago. It’s what you’re doing now. All Shannon has to do is throw herself a pity party, and there you are, sweeping up after. I can’t think of when you’ve ever been as…as…obsequious with me.”

  “So I’m now a slave to Shannon? I know what I doing, and I’ve never wavered. I’m going to do what I can to make sure Olivia can have a relationship with her mother, now that Shannon wants one. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. That means helping Shannon because she needs a lot of help. You don’t need me to do all that for you. You’re independent. You have everything together.”

  “Just because I’m not a mess all the time doesn’t mean that I don’t need you. Is that what I have to do to get your attention? Steal something. Get arrested. Overdose.”

  “That’s not what I meant,” Jeff shot back, exasperated.

  “But it’s kind of what you said. I am your future wife. But someone would hardly know that. Every time there’s a situation where you can take my side or Shannon’s, suddenly I have to change. I need to be more understanding. I need to swallow my pride. God help us all if Shannon ever has to face the fact that if her life isn’t the way she wants it, it’s her fault. And it’s her responsibility to fix it, not yours. She’s not sixteen anymore.”

  “If I help her, I’m helping Olivia’s mother.”

  “That’s just it, Jeff. You aren’t helping her. You’re enabling her.”

  “Thanks, Oprah.” Jeff snorted.

  “You don’t have to get sarcastic,” Taryn fumed. “This isn’t getting us anywhere. I don’t know what the hell you want from me.”

  “I don’t either, right now,” Jeff replied. “Maybe we should each take some time and think about what we want.”

  Taryn’s chest tightened, and the tears fell faster.

  “What time? We’re getting married in six weeks. I’m already getting RSVPs for our wedding. We have stuff to do. There’s no time,” Taryn cried.

  “Do you really want to get married like this?”

  “What?”

  Jeff saw the stricken look on Taryn’s face. He stepped closer to her, taking her by the shoulders.

  “I’m not saying we call off the wedding. I’m saying that so much has changed since we got engaged, and we’ve never stopped to ask ourselves if what we planned is still what want. Or if it’s even possible. You need time to think about whether all my baggage—including Shannon—is what you want in your life.”

  “I still know the answer to that. Don’t you?”

  Jeff paused. “I need to know that you support me and the decisions I make.”

  “You’re not the only one who gets a vote, though, Jeff. It’s my family too.”

  “That family includes Shannon. Do you know for sure that you still want to be part of it? Don’t you think you should take a time out and really think about it?”

  “I can’t believe you,” Taryn said. “I don’t need time. I need you to hear what I’m saying. I know Shannon’s not going anywhere. That doesn’t mean that you ignore who she is and keep putting her first because she’s so needy. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe this is why she stays so needy? So she can keep you around?”

  “There’s nothing left between us. She knows that.”

  “It’s not about starting back up with you. You keep saying she has no one else to count on. She’s all alone. Well, not as long as she can keep you pandering to her.”

  Jeff blanched and then huffed. “That’s it. This conversation is done. We’re not getting anywhere. You need to go home and think, Taryn.”

  “So you’re kicking me out and we’re not even going to discuss this because I said something you don’t like?”

  “We’re done.” He turned toward his room.

  Taryn started to follow him, but he turned around, and said, “Please, Taryn. Just go.”

  Just like that. He was kicking her out. She grabbed her purse, ran to the back door, slamming it behind her.

  Taryn threw herself into her car. He wasn’t ever going to face the sick dependence Shannon sank into every time she was around him. He also wasn’t going to examine why he seemed to take to it so well. Taryn felt the cold reality brace her. Jeff was right. Sort of. She had to think about whether she could deal with the unshakeable hero complex Jeff seemed to have with Shannon. As she pulled away from Jeff’s house, the obvious answer sat unspoken even in her mind.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Jeff stood dumbfounded in his kitchen for several minutes after hearing the garage door close and the love of his life pull away in her car.

  He’d hardly moved be
fore his dad dropped Olivia off at home. Frank listened as Jeff updated him on Shannon’s latest adventures and stayed silent on the topic of Jeff’s fight with Taryn. The older McConnell shook his head and offered little advice except for him to “sleep on it” before he did anything rash.

  Jeff tried, but sleep never came. His thoughts turned over the possibility that Taryn might decide she couldn’t deal with the mess Jeff had started over a decade before with his high school sweetheart. The winding path of his life could diverge, and his relationship could be over.

  No. Taryn would think things over and realize that Jeff only wanted the best for his daughter. He believed that she wanted the same thing. Shannon’s presence triggered Taryn’s protective instincts and maybe some jealousy, but she’d come around. She had to.

  The next morning, Jeff’s parents must have thought the situation serious if they skipped church to descend upon his house, claiming they just wanted to hang out with their son.

  “Is it so strange that I want to see you?” his mother said, hugging him as she pushed through his front door. “Lord knows it’s like pulling teeth to get you to church.”

  Jeff gave his mother a light peck on the cheek and stifled a response to his mother’s dismay over his lack of religiosity. He was glad they attended, and they often took Olivia, which he appreciated. It meant he didn’t have to go.

  Today, he knew he was in for a sermon anyway. His mother adored Taryn and thought she could do no wrong. While the first time he married a woman diametrically opposite from his mom, this time he’d found someone very much like the broad-shouldered, resolute woman now firmly gripping his shoulders and eyeing him narrowly.

  “What’s going on, Jeffrey? You look like death warmed over,” Nora McConnell sighed.

  Jeff rubbed his tired eyes, thankful when Olivia saved him from having to answer. She swept down the stairs in her pajamas with her blonde curls still sticking out at odd angles asymmetrically all over her head. Jeff frowned. He should have gotten her up earlier and at least brushed her hair. Instead, they’d both hid out in bed as long as they could.