Stay with Me (Cowboys of Crested Butte Book 4)

by Heather Slade

  “Bree, I care about you. It’s more than that, and I think you know it. We do this because it feels right. I’ve never once regretted waking up with you in my arms. Never once.”

  “I haven’t regretted it either, Jace. That isn’t what I meant. Not really. It’s just that we aren’t together, yet we always end up together.”

  Why weren’t they together? Why couldn’t they be together? Whenever he thought they could be, she pushed him away. Each time she did it, his first instinct was to push back. He assumed she didn’t want him, not the way he wanted her, but what if he was wrong?

  “How much longer until the academy is on break?”

  “For the holidays? Another two weeks. We’re back a week, and then there are finals. I’ll be done by the middle of the following week.”

  She’d be finished right before the end of the rodeo finals in Las Vegas. He’d have a break then too, until the beginning of January. He took a deep breath and prayed she’d give him the answer he was looking for.

  “I’d like to spend Christmas with you this year.”

  “Oh.” Bree’s eyes looked everywhere but at him. He watched her struggle with what to say. He was close to pulling away from her, when she answered.

  “Where will you be?”

  “Wherever you want me to be.”

  “In Palmer Lake?”

  He closed his eyes tight and willed himself not to let the joy that was building inside his chest escape. He was as happy as any time he’d ever been in his life.

  When he opened his eyes, she was watching him.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  He smiled. “I’ve never been better.”

  “I don’t want to miss Christmas with Cochran.”

  “We’ll figure it out when I get back from Las Vegas. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “And, Bree?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re gonna have to break things off with Officer Friendly.”

  “Who is Officer Friendly? Oh. Wait. Oh, God. Kaleb.”

  “Yeah, Kaleb.”

  “I don’t have to break things off with him. I mean, there’s nothing to break off. It was just dinner.”

  Jace pulled her closer to him. “I don’t want him to arrest me when I go into town, later, to buy condoms.”

  She blushed and looked down, hiding her face from him. “Jace,” she breathed.

  “Don’t hide from me, Bree.”

  17

  Bree unlocked the door to her office and put the coat back on that she’d taken off when she entered the building. Her office at the academy was cold from sitting empty for a week. She reached down and turned on the space heater that sat under her desk.

  She waited while her computer powered up, inserted her access card, and entered her password. Her security level at the Air Force Academy was relatively low, but everyone who worked there needed some level of clearance.

  She closed her eyes and leaned back in the chair while she waited. The rest of Thanksgiving weekend with Jace was like a dream. It was the same as it had been between them in Idaho, when things were comfortable and easy.

  No one commented on her and Jace sharing a bed—why would they? They were consenting adults. She expected her dad would; he was usually the one who said what everyone else was thinking. He seemed preoccupied though, and not his usual self. If there was inappropriate humor to be made, her dad was all for making it. Not so this weekend.

  Bree wondered if he was worried about her, and spared her his usual torment. It wouldn’t really be his style, but maybe he was one more person for her to add to the list of her pitiers.

  She decided she’d call him soon, and invite him to dinner, just the two of them. She’d let him know she missed his incessant teasing, as hard as it would be to say those words out loud. But she did miss it. When she was little, her mother told her and her sisters that their dad teased them because he loved them. She didn’t doubt her father’s love for her, but she wouldn’t mind him acting more like himself with her.

  The ringing office phone startled her. “This is Bree Fox,” she answered. Often phone calls coming in were from people who didn’t realize the permanent professor was on leave.

  “Ma’am,” the voice on the phone began. “We have a package for you in the mail area. Would you like us to deliver it now?”

  “For Bree Fox?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “I can come and get it.”

  “No, ma’am. As I said, we can deliver it now.”

  “Come in,” she said when she heard the knock on the door a few minutes later. When it didn’t open, she realized the airman making the delivery probably had his or her hands full.

  “Hello, ma’am,” the airman said when she opened the door. “Where would you like me to put this?”

  She pointed to a table near her desk and thanked him on his way out.

  Bree looked at the return address. It was from an APO, a military address.

  She reached for a letter opener, and then a pair of scissors, to get the well-taped package open. She removed the tissue paper covering the contents and found several manila envelopes.

  She opened the first, and reached for her chair. It held letters from Zack. There were at least a dozen in this one alone.

  Bree pulled the second envelope out of the package and opened it. Inside was a notebook. Skimming through the pages, it looked as though it was full of notes, also in Zack’s handwriting.

  She stopped there. Bree didn’t want to see what else was in the box, at least not right then. She put the letters back in the first envelope, the notebook back in the second, and returned everything to the box.

  Should she have wine or something stronger? She couldn’t decide. The box had been sitting in the middle of her living room for two days, near the couch. She thought about putting it in a closet and looking at the contents later, after she’d had time to prepare herself. But would she ever be ready?

  She wasn’t much of a whiskey drinker, but the bottle sitting on the counter was too tempting. She poured a couple of fingers, sat on the sofa, and stared at the box.

  Zack’s belongings had already been returned to her. This box was unexpected. She hadn’t decided yet whether it was also unwelcome. After two more shots of whiskey, she reopened the first envelope.

  “Dear Bree…” the letter began. She took a deep breath, already anticipating what it would say, like how much he missed her, or maybe something about them starting a family. Instead, he talked more about “the mission.” He said he wished she understood how important this was to him—it wasn’t a job, he wrote, it was his life.

  She only read one letter, before moving on to the envelope containing the notebook. She read the first few pages of what she soon realized was Zack’s journal. One she knew nothing about.

  Her cell phone rang, but when she saw it was Jace calling, she let it go to voicemail.

  A few minutes later, she made a call to someone else.

  As silly as it seemed even to himself, Jace was nervous. It wasn’t his first trip to the National Finals Rodeo, but it was the first time he had this much at stake.

  It wasn’t until they checked into the hotel that Billy told him they’d be roommates. It didn’t bother him, he was just surprised that he wasn’t rooming with Tucker. Then again, Ben and Billy had never been great fans of one another.

  It stemmed back four years, when Billy won National Saddle Bronc Champion at the NFR. For some reason, Ben got it into his head that Billy and Ben’s now wife, Liv, were an item. Nothing could’ve been further from the truth. Billy had been in love with Liv’s daughter, Renie.

  It didn’t matter how illogical it was, Ben never had much good to say about Billy, and the feeling was mutual.

  “Don’t understand why the hell we couldn’t have had our own damn rooms,” Billy mumbled. “We got money problems nobody told me about?”

  “It’s not that,” Ben answered. “We were lucky to get the rooms we did. E
verything was sold out months ago.”

  Tucker was off to the side, on his phone, probably talking to Blythe. Jace had called Bree and left a message, the day before, but hadn’t heard back from her. Maybe she hadn’t gotten it. It wasn’t like her not to call him back, at least not lately.

  He walked in the opposite direction of where his brother stood, and hit redial on her number. The call went straight to voicemail.

  “This is a pleasant surprise,” Red said when he answered Bree’s call.

  “Do you have a minute?” she asked.

  “For you, I’ve got all the time in the world.”

  “You’re always so nice to me.”

  “What can I do for you? Or are you just calling to shoot the breeze?”

  “I’m not. I, uh, need to get away, and was wondering…”

  “The ranch is closed up tight for the season…”

  As she feared.

  “But you can stay over at the lake house with me. If you wouldn’t be too uncomfortable.”

  “That’s so generous of you, Red. I don’t want to impose.”

  “You should know, I don’t offer if I don’t want to. I’d love to have you visit.”

  “Thanks…” Her voice trailed off.

  “Do you want to talk about whatever it is, now?”

  She didn’t; she couldn’t.

  “The semester ends in a few days, and then winter break lasts until the first week of January.”

  He told her she could stay as long as she wanted, and offered to pick her up at the airport in Hailey, so she didn’t have to rent a car.

  “I need to ship something up to you, something I don’t want to bring on the plane.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to tell me what’s on your mind?”

  “I can’t,” she couldn’t say any more. If she tried, she knew she’d start to cry, and then he’d worry more than she was sure he already was.

  “If you change your mind and want to talk, you know where to find me.”

  “Thanks, Red.”

  Bree knew it was a lot to ask. It wasn’t as though Red was family, even though it felt like he was. She’d never known her grandparents—they all passed away before she was born, but she imagined the way she felt about Red would’ve been how she’d feel about them.

  She taped up the box and drove to the Palmer Lake post office. She hadn’t read more than she did the first night, and once the box was gone, she’d be free of the temptation to keep reading.

  She still had another call to make, and it would be far more difficult than the one she made to Red.

  They were four days in and Jace was exhausted. Endless meetings filled their days, and at seven, the competitive events began. The after-parties started at ten and went on until two or three in the morning.

  The Flying R crew didn’t stay at any of the parties very long, although showing up was expected of them. Bullet and Lyric were the only ones who stayed until the wee hours of the morning. Bullet was there to help Lyric with RodeoChat, along with his stock duties.

  “How’re you doing?” Ben asked Jace while they waited for a cab to take them to an after party. “You’re a helluva lot younger than me, yet you don’t seem to be having too much fun. All this partyin’ getting to you?”

  It wasn’t the partying Jace was having trouble with, it was Bree. He hadn’t been able to reach her, and from what Tuck said, Blythe hadn’t seen much of her, but when she had, she seemed fine. Jace feared he’d landed in a seat on the same roller coaster he’d had with her in the past.

  If she was going to pull away from him every time they weren’t together, there wasn’t any chance a relationship would work between them. No matter what, he’d have to travel, in the same way Billy, Tucker, and Ben had to. They didn’t want to be away from their wives and families, but none of them had a choice.

  “Jace?” Ben was waiting for a response.

  Before he could answer, his cell rang and Bree’s number showed on the screen. He breathed a sigh of relief. “I need to get this,” he told Ben, who waved him off.

  “I was just thinking about you,” he answered.

  “You were?”

  “Yep, but I always am, so I’d say that no matter when you called.”

  “Jace, I need to talk to you.”

  She’d started one other conversation this way. He couldn’t accept this was a repeat. “Bree, tell me what’s goin’ on, darlin’.” This time he’d listen rather than jump to any conclusions. He’d learned at least that much.

  “It’s about Christmas.”

  “Christmas?”

  “I’ve had a change of plans. I’m not going to be home for Christmas.”

  “Okay. Tell me what’s goin’ on.” Jace was trying hard not to allow any emotion to creep into his words. If he could keep it light, just listen to her, maybe this wouldn’t circle down the drain.

  “I’m going away.”

  “What about Christmas with Cochran, and your family?” And me?

  “Something has come up, and I’m going to Idaho.”

  Her voice caught.

  “Tell me why.”

  “It’s something I need to do. I don’t know if I can explain.”

  “Come on, darlin’. Don’t shut me out. What’s this about?”

  “Zack,” she hesitated. “It’s Zack.”

  There were questions he wanted to ask. What did she mean? Why did she have to go to Idaho? He waited for her to continue, but was met with silence.

  “Can I call you?” he asked.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I need to go now, Jace.”

  NFR had barely begun and Jace was already exhausted. Endless meetings filled his days, and even though the competitive events were just getting started, the all-night parties had started a week ago. Jace watched as men and women spilled out of the hotel’s shuttle. The buses ran non-stop from one rodeo event to another. Once one emptied, the line of people waiting would pile on, headed where the last people came from. The line was long, full of cowboys and cowgirls, most feeling as tired as he was. He focused on one couple specifically.

  The man stood behind the woman, his arms around her waist. She leaned back so her head rested against his chest. Jace watched as the man lowered his head and kissed the woman’s neck. Her eyes closed, she smiled, and then turned her head. When she did, the cowboy kissed her. She turned in his arms, and their kiss deepened.

  He should look away; their moment was private, even if they were in public, but he kept watching. When their kiss ended, she rested her cheek against his chest. The cowboy’s arms tightened, pulling her closer. Jace sighed, envying their moment, their closeness, their love.

  When he turned to go back into the hotel, no longer interested in going to tonight’s party, Billy was leaning against the wall, watching him. His hat sat low on his face, but Jace could see his eyes. He wasn’t smirking, the way he often did. Good thing. Jace wasn’t in the mood to take any of Billy’s shit today. He had enough of his own.

  He was tempted to turn around, catch a cab to the airport, and head back to Montana. He’d spent the last few days counting down to the day he’d be with Bree again. Instead of winding down, the count had just spiraled up.

  “Hold up,” Billy said when Jace walked past him.

  Jace ignored him, walked straight to the bar, and ordered a shot of bourbon. He downed one and shoved the shot glass in the bartender’s direction. “Keep ’em comin’.”

  Billy stood next to him at the bar, but didn’t say anything. After Jace’s third round, he turned the shot glass over. Getting drunk was pointless; it would only make him feel worse.

  “I want out,” he said, without looking at Billy.

  “You’re out.”

  “That simple? Huh. Must be I’m not as important to this whole venture as I thought.”

  “You’re important as any of the rest of us, but nobody’s gonna force you to stick with this if you don’t wanna be here.”

  “I can just w
alk away?”

  “Sure ya can. We all can. Nothin’ tyin’ any of us to this deal, except money.”

  “I walk away, I lose my money. Fair enough.”

  “Hell, no. I’ll buy you out. I got no problem doin’ that. None of us would screw you outta your investment.”

  “All right, then.” Jace held out his hand, but Billy didn’t shake it.

  “We’ll do it after the first of the year. Cleaner that way from a tax standpoint. Plus it’ll take that long to draw up the paperwork.”

  “If that’s that, I’ll go pack my stuff.”

  “Where ya headed?”

  “Home. Back to Montana.”

  “Home, huh? Your operation up there is still part of all this. Or you plannin’ on askin’ your mama and daddy to buy you outta that, too?”

  Jace hadn’t gotten that far. He hadn’t expected Billy to accept him walking away from the rough stock business without an argument. Maybe he should give up the place in Montana, although that wouldn’t be fair to his parents. They’d partnered with him because he needed them to, not for themselves. They couldn’t sell now and expect to make any money on the deal.

  He couldn’t make a good decision to save his life—his stupid, pointless life.

  He took off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair, pulling it with the weight of his tension. “Hell, if I know,” he finally answered.

  Billy motion to the bartender, who set two shot glasses in front of them and poured. Jace studied the glass in front of him.

  Billy threw the shot back and waited for Jace to do the same. He was already light-headed from the three shots he’d had when he walked up to the bar. He wasn’t sure he could stand another one. He pushed the glass in Billy’s direction.

  “Good decision,” Billy said before he downed the second shot.

  “You know what I don’t understand, why you give a shit.”

  Billy motioned for the bartender again, this time holding up only one finger. Jace waited while Billy downed his third shot. Now they were even.

  “I owe you.”

  “What for?”

  It took Billy a while to answer. Usually, he didn’t have much to say, and when he did, he took his time saying it.