Catching Lucas Riley

by Lauren Winder Farnsworth

  “But he’s . . . he’s . . . evil,” Meredith whispered dramatically. “Didn’t you hear what happened to Skye Matheson when she publicly called him out for refusing to support last year’s stake date auction?”

  “I know, but—” Alex started, but Jaclyn interrupted her.

  “I didn’t. What happened?” She chomped her gum in excited expectation.

  “It somehow got around that she had once been engaged to that guy who got arrested last winter for chucking rocks at cars along Highway 89. Remember all those accidents? It was even suggested that he went all nutso because she had broken up with him. She ended up transferring to Dixie State,” Meredith finished affectedly as though Dixie State College were where rumor legends went to die.

  “Seriously? Skye was engaged to that homeless dude?” Jaclyn stage whispered as the Sunday School teacher got to his feet and cleared his throat loudly. “I didn’t know that. Well, dang, I’d move too if something like that got around.”

  “You don’t know for sure that Sealey said anything,” Alex defended, somewhat weakly.

  “But, Alex, really, who else would have known something like that?” Sage asked incredulously, ignoring the teacher as he glared openly at them. “He knows everything about everybody. It’s downright creepy. And you’re playing right into his hands!”

  “Oh, relax,” Kacey interrupted. “I think she was smart to go to Sealey. He’s one of Lucas’s best friends. Add that to the fact that he probably knows all of Lucas’s darkest secrets, and Alex has got a valuable weapon in her hands.”

  “Right, like Sealey’s going to turn on his best friend, just to help Alex.” Jaclyn rolled her eyes. “If anything, he’s going to turn on Alex and make her look like an idiot in front of Lucas, just for the entertainment value.”

  “Are you guys going to listen to anything today?” Rachel glared at each one in turn. “Why come to church if you’re going to spend the whole time ignoring the stuff that actually matters?”

  They all shut their mouths guiltily, recognizing Rachel’s point as their collective conscience.

  With the conversation finally halted, Alex ruminated on what she had done. How could she trust Sealey Witchburn? It was well known how dangerous he could be. Man alive, even his name sounded evil. Maybe she should just back out. Would he allow her to? What if he turned on her for attempting to break a deal with him? Oh, why couldn’t she just have fallen for a guy who knew she existed?

  Alex stood in the center of the church gym, scuffing the floor with her heel as she nervously waited for Sealey to show up. A thousand scenarios had run through her head in the past couple of hours, each one more unlikely than the last. By the time Sealey strolled through the door, she was ready to grab him by the collar and shout, “Let me out! Let me out, I beg you! I shouldn’t have done it, I know, but I beg of you to be merciful and free me!” But one look at his face assured her she would never be successful. Sealey’s expression was one of fixed determination.

  “You ready for this, Foamer?” Sealey asked, his ice-blue eyes focused on her face. “You look queasy already, and I’m not a big fan of vomit on my shoes. I told you to bring your game.”

  “What does that even mean, anyway?” Alex asked, taking deep breaths and molding her face into nonchalance.

  “It means that from now on, the only expression you’re allowed to have on your face is one of complete confidence,” Sealey answered. “No weakness allowed. Well, not unless I tell you that you can be weak. Some weakness is charming. Men typically don’t want an Amazon.”

  “Was that a stab at my height?” she demanded, glaring at him.

  “I seem to have touched a nerve,” Sealey smirked. “Well, no need to burst a blood vessel. It was just an expression. All right . . . now where to start?”

  “You’re the expert; you tell me,” Alex sighed.

  “Well . . . typically the first step would be a full-scale, professional-grade makeover, but—and don’t take this for more than it is—you’re actually already pretty easy on the eyes, Foamer.” His tone seemed to invite Alex to thank him for his observations.

  She responded by raising an eyebrow scornfully.

  Sealey ignored her and began circling her slowly, studying her from head to toe. “Yes, indeed,” he muttered, his tone difficult to read. “Plenty of usable material here.”

  “When you’ve finished checking me out,” Alex said sharply. “Could we maybe move on to something relevant? Like how I’m going to get Lucas to introduce himself to me?”

  “If you don’t think how you look is relevant to getting a guy to notice you, we’ve got bigger problems,” Sealey responded, fixing his eyes studiously on her legs, a contemplative expression on his face.

  “Right, well, I want him to more than just look at me,” Alex demanded. “I want him to willingly talk to me.”

  “Oh, well, that’s easy,” Sealey said, finally focusing on her face. “We’re going to force him to talk to you.”

  “Pardon?”

  “We are going to manipulate the situation to where he has no choice but to talk to you,” Sealey repeated. “Trust me, it’s very simple.”

  “Okay . . . how?”

  “The annual stake date auction,” Sealey said, his eyebrows lowered, his voice ominous.

  “The date auction?” Alex said in surprise. “But you hate the date auction!”

  “As does every other individual with a certain level of respect for social and intellectual progress,” Sealey replied. “Including Lucas Riley. But he’s forced to participate as the elders quorum president. So . . . we make our move.”

  “I’m sorry . . . I don’t get it,” Alex complained. “How does the stake date auction help me? What are the chances that if I bid on a date with Lucas, I’ll actually win it? Every girl in this stake wants to date him!”

  “This is why you’re so lucky you have me in your corner,” Sealey replied, shrugging his shoulders. “I have far more influence than you give me credit for.”

  “So what do I need to do?” Alex asked hesitantly.

  “Show up at the auction next week with five bucks in your pocket,” Sealey said, heading for the door.

  “Wait, that’s it?” Alex cried desperately. “That won’t be nearly enough for the highest bid!”

  “What was my price for this venture?” Sealey thundered, his voice echoing throughout the cultural hall. “Total and absolute trust, Foamer! Date auction with five bucks!”

  And he was gone.

  “Will someone please explain to me what we’re doing here?” Jaclyn complained as the six girls walked into the stake center cultural hall. Chairs were evenly spaced, all facing the stage at the far end of the room. “If I really wanted to find someone to date, I would not spend two hours looking for an opportunity to pay money to locate them.”

  “I admit, the concept is flawed,” Alex said distractedly, looking around. No Sealey yet. No Lucas either. So help me, if Sealey doesn’t show up and leaves me to do this on my own . . . Alex muttered in her head.

  “The auction’s for charity!” Rachel exclaimed, as if that explained everything.

  “Jaclyn, you had every opportunity to be on the receiving end of the deal,” Sage pointed out, ignoring Rachel. “All you had to do was enter yourself as a potential date. Then you wouldn’t have had to pay anything.”

  “And have no say over who I spend an evening with? No thanks,” Jaclyn said, looking at Sage incredulously. “Really, the only reason I’m here is to see what happens with Alex and Lucas. I’m morbidly curious.”

  “Aren’t we all?” Alex muttered under her breath. She relaxed slightly as she saw Sealey enter the room. “Excuse me, girls,” she said, pushing past them. “My, uh, consultant has arrived.” She could feel five pairs of eyes following her as she approached Sealey Witchburn.

  “So what’s the plan?” she asked breathlessly. “What do I do?”

  “Well, hello to you too,” he said, with an eyebrow raised.

  “I don�
�t have the energy for niceties,” Alex claimed, and her voice betrayed her panic. “What am I doing here?”

  “You’re going to bid,” Sealey said simply, shrugging. “That’s it.”

  “I’m going to bid?” Alex repeated, her voice nearly a screech. “That’s your brilliant plan?!”

  “Calm down, Foamer,” Sealey hissed, looking around. “It’s not that difficult, right? Raise your hand and bid five dollars. That’s it. I’ve taken care of the rest.”

  For some reason that last statement made her more uncomfortable than ever. “What do you mean you’ve taken care of the rest?” she demanded. “What did you do?”

  “Never you mind,” Sealey said, moving past her. “Just do as I say. Do otherwise, and you’re in breach of contract.” He winked impertinently at her and walked away.

  She rejoined her roommates, her expression indicating the dread she felt.

  “Well? What did he say?” Kacey demanded. “What’s the plan?”

  “He just told me to bid,” Alex said, hopelessly. “He said he took care of the rest, but I have no idea what that means.”

  “You know what I don’t get?” said Meredith, running her fingers through her long hair and examining the ends. “Why doesn’t he just introduce you to Lucas himself? I mean, they’re best friends, aren’t they? It’s not like it would be hard to finagle a simple introduction.”

  “Oh, come on,” Kacey said, rolling her eyes. “Isn’t it obvious? He’s trying to make sure Alex makes a lasting impression! Just being introduced probably wouldn’t do it. He wants to make sure Lucas remembers Alex.”

  Alex stared in horror at Kacey. What exactly had Sealey arranged that would ensure that Lucas remembered her? Was she about to be publicly humiliated and she didn’t realize it? She trembled more than ever, trying to find the resolve she usually had by default.

  “Welcome to stake FHE, everyone!” exclaimed a cute blonde from the stage. “Tonight, we’re raising money for charity by auctioning off dates with some of our stake’s most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes!” She flashed a white, toothy grin around at the room at large.

  “Here’s the deal. As soon as you see the man or woman of your dreams onstage, that’s your cue to start bidding. There is no limit, but remember, you can only bid cash or canned goods. No IOUs will be accepted. Now let’s get started!”

  Cheesy game show music played over the sound system, and Bishop King, wearing a loud, checkered blazer, took the microphone.

  “Brothers and sisters, welcome!” he said cheerily. “Tonight’s main purpose is to support those members of our community who may be less fortunate, followed closely by our motivation to get as many of you married as possible.” He grinned as a collective, good-natured groan echoed throughout the gym. “I am confident that at least one of you will find your eternal companion tonight,” the bishop continued, smiling optimistically down at them. “So for that reason, don’t hesitate to empty your pockets in the attempt. Now, for our first date auction participant!”

  Alex watched numbly as various individuals strutted across the stage with their best catwalks, most of them dissolving into laughter in the process. The bidding was fierce, but friendly, and each participant was quickly claimed. Alex felt her heartbeat go into overdrive as Lucas Riley finally walked across the stage. He sauntered, cool and unconcerned, to the chair in the middle of the stage, smiling calmly at the breathless audience.

  “And your name is?” Bishop King asked needlessly.

  “Lucas Riley,” Lucas answered smoothly into the microphone. He looked supremely unruffled, and Alex didn’t doubt he was. After all, what did he have to worry about? He was the most eligible bachelor in the stake.

  “All right, let’s start the bidding at ten dollars!” Bishop King boomed into his microphone. Alex froze in horror. He had started the bidding at two dollars for every other participant! Why was he getting exorbitant now? He must be trying to milk the “golden boy” potential for all it was worth.

  Alex looked around in panic. Sealey had told her to bring five dollars and no more! The bidding was starting at twice what she had! She looked around frantically for Sealey, needing his instruction. But something stopped her panicked search.

  The room was dead silent. Nobody was bidding. Her eyes swept the gym, looking for the untold number of females that were sure to want to date Lucas Riley for so small a sum as ten dollars. Nobody moved. Alex noticed several girls moving uncomfortably in their chairs and looking around furtively. What was going on?

  “Okay, fine,” Bishop King said crossly. “We’ll start at seven dollars.”

  Silence. Alex’s roommates looked at each other in shock. This was unprecedented! Never in Stake Date Auction history had the starting bid amount been reduced for a date entry! Bids typically came in fast and furious, even for the less-desirable options.

  “Seriously, ladies?” The bishop looked incredulous now. Alex glanced up at Lucas, noticing how red his face looked. In fact, he looked downright mortified. She had never seen him so off-center. Her heart ached for him. She looked around again for Sealey, finally spotting him leaning against the far wall, a crooked smile on his face. He was enjoying this! He caught her eye and, noticing her panicked expression, shook his head.

  Not yet, he mouthed at her. Her eyes shot back to Lucas, his face almost purple with humiliation now.

  “All right, starting the bidding at five dollars, then!” Bishop King said, the disbelief clearly ringing in his voice. “Five dollars is a steal, girls, for this young man! You couldn’t find better than Lucas Riley. He’s the catch of all catches! I promise you . . .” At each attempt at persuasion, Lucas looked like he wished he could burrow further and further into the ground.

  Finally, Alex couldn’t take it anymore.

  “Five dollars!” she cried.

  “Five dollars!” Bishop King called in relief. “Five dollars going once, five dollars going twice, dated for five dollars!” The last part was spoken so fast that it took Alex several seconds to process it.

  As the realization dawned, Alex registered that nearly every female eye in the room was fixed on her. Some of them were smirking, but many of them looked truly concerned. Alex was sure this was a result of whatever Sealey had done to keep the female population at large from bidding on Lucas Riley, so she wasn’t terribly alarmed. She’d find out sooner or later which taboo rule she had broken.

  Finally, her eyes met those of her prize. For the first time in living memory, Lucas Riley’s green eyes met Alex Foamer’s brown ones, and he smiled in willful acknowledgement.

  Sealey Witchburn was a wizard.

  “I don’t believe it!” crowed Sage, drumming her fingers on the steering wheel as she drove. “I can’t believe it worked! What Sealey Witchburn must have done to keep an entire stake of girls silent when presented with a specimen like Lucas Riley, I have no idea, but it must have been a doozy!”

  “He told the girls in 34B that Lucas had a psychotic redhead stalking him and she would go ballistic on any girl who bid on him at the date auction,” Kacey replied, flipping through an institute brochure in the front seat. “I heard one of them talking about it after the closing prayer. Obviously, with their skills, a tidbit like that spread throughout the stake inside of a week.”

  “So now everyone’s going to think that Alex is the psychotic stalker!” Rachel exclaimed, looking sympathetically over at her.

  “Or that she was the one person brave enough to stand up to the psychotic stalker,” Meredith pointed out, resting a reassuring hand on Alex’s arm. “And maybe they’ll just think it’s a coincidence that they both have red hair.”

  Alex was barely listening. She stared out the window, reeling over the idea that she was secured at least one date with Lucas Riley. She had never actually believed she would get this far. One date was really all she needed to get her foot in the door. It took her several moments before she realized her phone was vibrating in her hand.

  “Hello?” she said vacan
tly, not bothering to check the number.

  “Hi, Alex?”

  She knew the voice immediately, but she was totally unprepared for it. She felt her blood instantly carbonate as her hand tightened convulsively on the phone.

  She nodded stupidly for a moment, before remembering he couldn’t see her. “Yes?” she finally squeaked, trying not to hyperventilate. Her roommates’ eyes were fixed on her.

  Somehow, in all her fantasies of dating Lucas Riley and kissing Lucas Riley and marrying Lucas Riley, she had never imagined herself talking to Lucas Riley. Her mind was a fury of white-hot panic.

  “This is Lucas Riley,” he said. “My friend Sealey told me your name and gave me your number. I just wanted to thank you for bailing me out back there. I really appreciate the save.”

  She blinked frantically out the window, her phone clutched in her hand, willing her mouth to move and coherency to issue from it. “No problem,” she finally peeped. She took a deep breath, remembering Sealey’s demand that she be the picture of confidence at all times. “I live to save. I mean, serve. I mean—”

  She heard her roommates snickering around her and she longed to kick each one of them, in turn, squarely in the shins. She could practically hear the smile in Lucas’s voice when he responded.

  “Well, in return for the rescue, I insist you let me take you out, instead of vice versa. It’s the least I can do.”

  “Well, if you insist,” Alex agreed, much too quickly. She could almost hear the imagined smack of Sealey’s hand hitting his forehead at her eager response. Play it cool, play it cool, she lectured herself. “I mean, if that’s what you want, who am I to complain?” Alex corrected, molding her voice into as much honey as she could muster.

  “Great!” Lucas replied, his voice enthusiastic. “When are you available? A girl like you probably has all kinds of guys after her, so I’m happy to wait my turn.”

  Alex attempted to process this comment. Was that an effort to flatter her, or an effort to push off the date as long as possible? Oh, men were infuriating! Forcing her pulse to slow, she endeavored to think like Sealey. Don’t be too available . . . he won’t want something no one else wants. Make him think that you are in high demand . . .