Made You Look

by Diane Roberts

  It was great to be able to watch the fireworks every night when the park closed. Everyone in the campground enjoyed them. Millicent clapped when Tinker Bell slid across the park on a high wire, throwing kisses and waving to the crowd. It was fabulous.

  The day we visited Knott's Berry Farm we saw Britney Spears and Jen asked for her autograph. Freddy and I wanted it, too, but we were too embarrassed to ask. When we visited Rodeo Drive, Freddy thought he saw Will Smith but it turned out to be just a guy in a snazzy suit. Jen bought a T-shirt that said RODEO DIVA in blue glitter.

  Pretty soon we had only one week left. I couldn't believe Masquerade Mania hadn't been chosen yet.

  We were eating dinner in this great Mexican restaurant when Mom said what was on all our minds. “Our trip's almost over, guys. I think you'll all have to agree we've seen the best California has to offer.” I felt a lump in the pit of my stomach.

  “Our trip isn't over yet, is it?” I said. “We still have other things to do, right? Like the Queen Mary?” And Masquerade Mania ! I wanted to shout. But I didn't want to give Jen the satisfaction. “Right?”

  Everyone was grinning. “What?” I said. I couldn't stand it any longer. “What's going on?”

  “Jase,” Dad said. “You've been more than a good sport about this trip. You camped when you didn't want to have any part of it. You survived a Texas storm without complaining. You've helped set up every day. You haven't fussed about the food.” He looked at Mom, grinning. “You're wearing pink underwear as we speak. And not once have you acted ugly when the game show wasn't drawn.”

  “But it couldn't have been drawn,” Mom said.

  “We planned it that way,” Dad said.

  I was stunned. “You mean I never had a chance?”

  “We pulled the game show out of the box from the beginning.”

  I felt sick to my stomach. “You did what?” I yelled. I couldn't believe it. My own family had betrayed me. This was the kind of trick Ambie Boy would pull. My eyes filled with tears.

  “Jason, you're not paying attention,” Mom said. “Dad didn't say we never intended to let you try. We decided since it meant so much to you and Freddy, we'd save our last couple of days to give you lots of chances to get on the show. You may not make it the first try, so we thought we would give you extra days.” Everyone laughed. I felt like a dope. I rubbed away the tears that were threatening to give Jen ammunition for the next century and started laughing, too.

  “You mean it?” I asked. “I'm going to get a chance to be on Masquerade Mania?”

  Jen actually looked happy for me. For once she didn't say anything mean.

  “We have another surprise for you,” Dad said. “Your class is going to watch Mania together this week, hoping to see you. They all know to look for you in that silly dinosaur head.”

  “The whole class?” I said. Wow! That meant Kara Kaye would see me on national TV. It also meant Ambie Boy would see me. That would show that copycat a thing or two!

  The next morning I was too nervous to eat. I had dreamed about this day for so long that now that it was happening, I felt scared. I was dressed and ready to go before anyone else woke up. We had to be at the studio extremely early. They only let the first hundred people in line try out for the show.

  “If we get through in time at the TV station we can take in a couple of museums,” Dad said, consulting his AAA guidebook.

  I would have agreed to anything. My day was finally here!

  The traffic was unbelievable on the Los Angeles freeway. Dad made two wrong turns and we had to double back twice. Mom did the navigating and got us back on track in no time. She was a whiz with the map.

  “Hurry!” I said, drumming my fingers on the seat. “We've gotta be there early.” I looked at my watch. It was already six-thirty. We had to be at the studio by seven o'clock or it would be too late.

  “It's about two more blocks,” Mom said. “I think you turn left for the visitors' parking lot. I saw a sign back there.”

  “That's it!” I yelled. “Up ahead.” I pointed to a large building.

  People were already lining up. Some of them were in costumes. Others were standing around watching the crazy activities. Dad pulled into a parking spot. I ran around to the back of our car and grabbed my garbage sack. It felt light. When I looked inside I couldn't believe what I saw.

  “Pink underwear?” I screamed. “Where is my allosaurus?” Mom and Dad looked at one another. Then Mom put her head in her hands.

  “I cleaned out our car so we'd have more room. I took out your dinosaur head and set it on the picnic table to rearrange things. I must have left the allosaurus at the campground.”

  “My allosaurus is back at the campground!” I couldn't believe what she had just said. “How could you do that?” Freddy looked stunned, too.

  Mom started crying. “I know how much this means to you, but … can't you go as yourself? Just a twelve-year-old boy who wants to be on a game show?”

  I felt like crying, too. “No way!” I said. “I've got to have a costume or I won't have a chance.”

  “We'll think of something,” Dad said, looking desperately around us. “Maybe Mom can make you a funny hat out of a paper sack or something. What about that?”

  About that time Jen raced around to the back of our SUV. She started throwing things out into the parking lot.

  “What are you doing?” Freddy asked.

  “I'm looking for something,” she said, not looking up. “I'm going to make Jason a costume.”

  “I'm not wearing your orange shower cap if that's what you're thinking,” I snapped. “That's out. Forget it! I'm out of the running to get on the show.” I stomped off across the parking lot.

  “Come back here, Jason,” Jen called. “I have a great idea.” I turned around to see what she thought was so great. She held Mom's first-aid kit.

  “You want me to go as a Band-Aid?” I said.

  “Mr. Pinkie, you're going to have the best costume in all of California.” She pointed to my legs. “Take off your jeans.”

  “No way,” I said. “I'm not wearing underwear for a costume. Is your head full of marbles?”

  “No one expects you to be on TV in your underwear, you twerp. I'm going to wrap you in gauze, and you can't be bulky. Now strip.” It sounded crazy, but I didn't have a choice. I hid behind the car door and did as she said. Jen pulled out spools of white gauze and started wrapping me like a mummy. When Freddy realized what she was doing he pitched in and helped. Before I knew what had happened I was wrapped from the tip of my head down to my ankles. They cut eyeholes so I could see and a small hole for my nostrils so I could breathe. Then they cut a tiny circle for my mouth so I could speak.

  “Don't wrap his legs too tight,” Jen said. “He at least has to be able to take tiny baby steps.” They wrapped my arms separately so I could push the buzzer if I got chosen to sit in the Hot Box. When they were done everyone clapped.

  “You look fantastic,” Freddy said, nodding.

  “You really do,” Mom said, wiping her eyes. “And I'm not just saying that.”

  Millicent looked frightened.

  I gave her a small smile that she couldn't see.

  I felt like I was on my way out of surgery. Jen guided me across the parking lot and we headed to the area where the producers came out to pick the contestants. I heard everyone yell and I saw a zillion crazy signs. The girl next to me was a mermaid. Freddy said she was wearing a terrific costume but because of her one tailfin she kept falling over on the ground. I saw a fireman, a policeman, and someone dressed as a pig.

  I had remembered to stuff my jeans pockets with all the extra things Jasmine and Desmond O might ask to buy, but I couldn't worry about that now. All I could hope for was a chance to get on the show. Freddy stood beside me and told me about each costume as the people came into view.

  “There's a robot next to you, too,” he said. “Here comes a ghost, and I see at least two pirates,” he whispered. “They look washed up,�
�� he said. “They'll never get picked.”

  Five producers came out and the people went wild. I couldn't yell very well since the hole for my mouth was small, so Jen stood behind me and yelled. I felt like a mummy dummy with my big sister as the ventriloquist.

  “Choose me!” she screamed. “Look this way! Pleeeaaase!” One judge looked our way but he didn't stop.

  “Everyone needs a mummy,” Freddy hollered over and over. I never saw him act so wild. The judges picked the robot, a scarecrow, and two girls who were dressed as Siamese twins.

  “If we had that man's bullhorn from the campground we could get their attention,” I said.

  “Just hang on,” Freddy said. “We're not about to give up yet. You're getting on that show if it's the last thing I do.”

  “Hurry,” I said. “Get them to choose me.” I felt sweat running down my back. My hands were numb and my fingers were stiff. My nose itched but I couldn't scratch because the hole was too small. I wanted to sneeze.

  “Be still,” Jen ordered. “You're coming loose.” She pulled the gauze tighter around my middle. All I needed was for my costume to unravel and my pink underwear to show.

  “Start humming,” she said. “A producer is coming your way.”

  “Hum?” I said. “What for?”

  “So they'll notice you, twerp. You don't want to look dead, do you?” I started humming the theme song from the show. A producer walked past me. I hummed louder.

  “Hey, kid. You with the water pitcher on your head,” he said. “You're on. Step to the right and get in line with the other contestants.”

  I hummed louder.

  “Okay,” the producer said. “I'm convinced. Everyone needs a mummy. Cut out the humming and stand in line with the rest of those people over there.”

  “All right!” Freddy said, high-fiving me through the gauze.

  Jen looked totally proud. “I rule!”

  I took baby steps to get over to the other people who had been chosen and followed the producers into the studio.

  My heart was pounding like crazy. No one back home would recognize me, but thanks to Jen, I was one terrific-looking mummy.

  “Okay, folks, listen up,” said one of the producers. “Masquerade Mania is viewed by thirty million people and we want lively and happy contestants. Got it?” He motioned us toward an elevator bank. “We're going up to the studio now. When you get there you'll find out exactly what to do and where to sit. Any questions?”

  “Sir,” I said, “could you tell me how I can get to sit in the front row?”

  “Listen to that,” he said. “There's always a wise guy in the crowd. Here's a mummy who wants to be in the front row. Move it, kid. You'll have to take your chances like everyone else. Follow that scarecrow and get on the elevator or we'll choose someone else.” I hopped toward the scarecrow. I didn't want to blow it now.

  Once I got inside the studio I saw technicians, cameras, lights, and cables, and people running around in circles. All of the TV people wore soft-soled shoes so that they could move fast and not make noise. They raced back and forth across the stage adjusting scenery and cameras and anything else that needed attention. The show's band played the theme song and people laughed and clapped. The contestants stood up, which was a lucky break for me. I couldn't sit down wrapped like a mummy.

  Someone from the show asked me my name and where I was from, then slapped a name tag on my chest.

  I felt the spirit of the show immediately. No wonder Freddy and I had such a good time when we watched it. Everyone in the studio was having the time of their life. I wasn't in the front row but it was okay. I was close enough to see everything that was happening. The kid with the pitcher of water stood next to me.

  The studio filled up quickly. My family and Freddy were in the upper section, where the spectators sat. I turned around to take a look. That's when I saw them waving and cheering for me.

  I reached out and poked the water-pitcher kid on the arm. “Watch that water,” I said. “If you jump around too much it's going to fall on me, and I can't afford to get wet.”

  “Just be glad I'm not balancing hot fudge sauce on my head. Then you'd have something to be concerned about,” he retorted.

  I guess he was right, but I still planned on watching that water. A wet mummy costume spelled T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

  When I looked down at the stage a man held five fingers in front of the camera. “Five, four, three, two, one,” he said. “Let 'em roll.” The Masquerade Mania theme song swelled up from the orchestra pit. This was it! We were on the air! Chills ran down my spine. Confetti and balloons floated from the ceiling. The audience went nuts and I started hiccupping like crazy.

  Jasmine floated down the winding staircase. She was more beautiful in person than she was on TV. Her smile was awesome.

  Desmond O dropped from the ceiling in a gold cage. “It's Masquerade Mania time!” he yelled. “Who wants to be a winner?” His bow tie blinked red and blue when he spoke. Everyone tried to get his attention.

  “Want to win a prize?” Desmond asked a girl about Jen's age dressed as a cowgirl in a big hat and bolero vest.

  “Yes, yes!” she cried.

  “I'll buy your boots,” Desmond O said. “I'll give you seven hundred dollars for them.” The girl pulled her boots off and pitched them to him.

  “Wait,” he said, “you can take the seven hundred or you can exchange them for a look in this box.” He held up a brightly colored box with a large red bow on top.

  She hesitated. “Okay,” she said. “I'll take the box.” She shoved the money back at Desmond O.

  When she looked inside the box you could have heard her scream all the way to Pasadena.

  “Whoa!” she screamed, jumping up and down. She threw her hat in the air. “I can't believe it.” She held up a pair of keys for the audience to see. I looked on the stage and saw a bright red Beetle. To the side of the stage a man held up an APPLAUSE sign and everyone clapped for her.

  Next Jasmine asked a boy for a fishhook. He didn't have one but he sold his green handkerchief for four hundred dollars. Jasmine and Desmond O whizzed up and down the aisles faster than a pair of roadrunners.

  “Where is the Grand Canyon?” Jasmine asked a boy. He looked about my age.

  “California!” he yelled. Before he could correct himself, Desmond O shot the boy in the face with a water gun. It was filled with red water, probably raspberry soda. Everyone screamed with laughter. The boy laughed hardest of all. The show moved so quickly that no one had time to think straight.

  Desmond O bought thimbles and zippers, and when he asked for a harmonica, I felt miserable. Millicent's harmonica was back in the car. “A thousand dollars for a harmonica,” Desmond O screamed to the audience. No one had one. I didn't have time to be sick about it because Desmond O stopped by me next.

  “Well, well, well,” he said, reading my name tag. “I do believe we have a mummy from Texas.” My hiccups grew stronger. “We have a mummy from Texas who has the hiccups.” The audience burst out laughing. Desmond O held the microphone to my mouth and my hiccups echoed all over the studio.

  “I know about mummies,” he said. “They are dead serious about winning prizes. Don't you agree?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I guess so.” I didn't know what he wanted me to say. He laughed at his own joke. A siren went off backstage. I jumped a mile high. I wasn't expecting it. Desmond O's bow tie blinked as he talked.

  “How would you like to sit in our Hot Box?” Jasmine said. I was so excited that I came close to throwing up right on national TV.

  “No,” I said. “I mean yes!” Jasmine guided me to the Hot Box. I couldn't take my eyes off her. Her ginger brown hair reached below her waist and she smelled like Mom did when she went to a fancy party. Desmond O stopped in front of a guy and said something to him. He wore a reindeer head for a costume. The antlers must have reached out three and a half feet. I couldn't hear what Desmond O said to him but the next thing I knew, he pushed him into the othe
r Hot Box to be my opponent.

  Jasmine explained the rules of the game. “I'll ask the questions. First one to push the buzzer and answer three questions correctly gets a chance to Spin to Win. If you land on a square with a prize you may keep it, but if you land on a WHOOPS! you're in big trouble. Three WHOOPS! and you're out of the game.

  “Okay,” she said, smiling at us. She backed away from the reindeer so his antlers wouldn't poke out her eyes. “Are you ready?”

  We both yelled, “Ready!”

  “Name two of the six longest rivers in the world!” I slammed my hand down on the buzzer. I was glad Freddy and Jen had wrapped my arms separately because I wouldn't have been able to move them if they had attached them to my body.

  “Nile and Amazon!”

  “Good answers,” Jasmine said, smiling. “One point for the mummy.”

  “Who were the main characters in The Wizard of Oz?” she said.

  I slammed the buzzer again. “The Tin Man, the Lion, and the Scarecrow. And Dorothy,” I said, for good measure.

  “Good answers,” Jasmine said again.

  “Name the fastest mammal on earth.”

  Before either of us could answer, Desmond skated across the stage throwing marshmallows at us. “I'm the fastest. I'm the fastest,” he cried. I wasn't expecting him to do that. By the time I regained my composure it was too late. I had looked at Desmond O and had lost my concentration for a second.

  The reindeer's buzzer rang out loud and clear.

  “The cheetah,” he said.

  “Good answer,” Jasmine said. “One point for the reindeer.”

  “What did Harry Potter discover about himself?”

  “He was a wizard!” we both yelled.

  “You forgot your buzzers,” Jasmine said. “Answers disqualified.”

  “Where do the Red Sox play?”

  “Fenway Park,” I said, slapping the buzzer. Desmond O ran across the stage throwing baseballs at us. One hit me in the nose but it was soft and didn't hurt. When it hit, it burst open and red gooey ooze dribbled down my chest. He hit the reindeer's head and knocked part of one antler to the floor. The audience clapped like crazy.