Geeks, Girls, and Secret Identities

by Mike Jung

  “But what about ‘oh, nobody asked me if I wanted to do this,’ and all that?” Max asked.

  Polly shrugged.

  “Maybe because nobody asked Mr. Zazueta if he wanted to be Captain Stupendous either, but he did it anyway.”

  “And he ROCKED as a superhero,” I said.

  Polly smiled. “Yeah. And, I don’t know … he was, like, my mentor or something, right?”

  We all nodded.

  “Lots of superheroes had mentors when they started out,” Max said.

  “Captain Stupendous never had one.” George shook his head.

  “Until now!” I said, smiling at Polly. She smiled back, and I felt a little bit warm and tingly when she did. It was totally different being smiled at by a girl who’s maybe sort of your girlfriend.

  “That’s awesome! It’s kind of like how I’m Vincent’s and George’s mentor,” Max said. Whatever he said next was drowned out by all the boos and snorting from everyone else.

  Polly told us about Earth food on the Grakkian interdimensional cruiser (terrible, all soy based), the Grakkian noninvasive neural feed (tiring, but not painful), and what Grakkians look like (a mix between people, hippos, and turtles).

  “Are you gonna tell your parents you’re Captain Stupendous?” George said.

  Polly snorted.

  “NO,” she said. “Are you kidding? It’s hard enough to get out of the house as it is!”

  “What did you tell them?” I said.

  “Same thing I told the cops,” Polly said.

  “I guess now you know everything you need to know about being Captain Stupendous, huh?” Max said, sounding a little sad.

  The tone of Max’s voice threw me into a minor panic. Maybe she doesn’t need us anymore!

  “No way,” Polly said, shaking her head. I relaxed and slid lower in my chair.

  “I don’t know where Captain Stupendous’s … where my secret headquarters is. There probably is one, right?”

  Everybody nodded.

  “Probably an incredible one,” George said.

  “I also don’t know about all the villains out there, or the other superheroes, or the research labs and all that stuff you guys DO know.”

  “True, very true,” Max said.

  “I guess you’re stuck with us,” I said.

  “I guess we’re stuck with each other,” Polly said.

  “So are we your official sidekicks now?” George said.

  “No,” Polly said.

  That was not what we wanted to hear.

  “WHY NOT?” “WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM, POLLY?” “THAT IS SO UNFAIR!” “YOU SUCK!” “WHAT, ARE YOU TOO GOOD FOR US NOW?”

  “SHUT UP!” Polly yelled.

  We quieted down, but the room was full of crossed arms and mopey expressions.

  “What is this crap about sidekicks?” Polly said. “We’re a team, you dummies! All of us!”

  Suddenly the room was full of uncrossed arms and dopey grins.

  “Oh!” George said. “That’s different!”

  “Actually, we’re a club,” Max said.

  “Yeah, yeah, sure,” Polly said. “Wait, I still have to tell you one more thing.”

  Polly put her hands on the edge of the table, pushed her chair back, and stood up. That gap-toothed smile was on her face again.

  “Vincent, you were right about the thing with the interdimensional holding tank. That’s exactly what happens when I switch bodies.”

  I put my hands up in the air and swiveled in my seat to face the guys, who immediately threw pretzel chunks at my head.

  “The Grakkians said it’s important for the Stupendous body to be exactly the way I want it,” Polly said. “They use this thing called a subatomic particle alignment chamber to make the Stupendous body. So I told them to get rid of the old superhero body Mr. Zazueta designed and make one that I like.”

  Polly put her hands over her mouth, winked at me, and said something we couldn’t hear.

  ZOOP! As expected, there was a globe of fiery blue light. It hung there for a second, throwing off little tentacles of light, and then it blipped out. We blinked like crazy and rubbed our eyes to get rid of the afterglow. When I opened my eyes, Captain Stupendous was standing there: five foot two, black hair, dark blue costume and cape, looking about twelve years old. Yep, there she was, Captain Stupendous.

  Yeah, you heard me right. SHE!

  Captain Stupendous wasn’t a hulking, steroid-looking guy with wavy black hair, bronze skin, big teeth, and arms the size of telephone poles anymore. Captain Stupendous was … well, Polly. With a costume and a mask.

  “Wow,” George said. “I mean, wow. Really.”

  “WHAT?” Max said. “HOW DID … WHEN … WHAT?”

  This totally threw off my system of mentally separating Polly and Captain Stupendous to avoid gender confusion. I could call them both “she” and “her” now. So confusing! The thing that was confusing before just became less confusing, which actually made things even more confusing!

  Polly smiled, and I noticed one difference in the way she looked. She caught my eye and tapped her two front teeth.

  “No gap,” she said. “For secret identity purposes.”

  I tapped my temple.

  “Brains.”

  “That’s right.”

  “But, wait, what … that other body was awesome! The arms! And the muscles! And the tallness!” George said.

  Polly folded her arms and raised an eyebrow.

  “This one is so much better,” she said.

  And you know what, she was right.

  “You still have all the powers, right?” I said.

  Polly nodded.

  “What are you gonna call yourself?” Max said.

  “Captain Stupendous.”

  “Really?” George said.

  “Yeah, really. What’s wrong with it?”

  “It’s gonna confuse everyone on the entire planet.”

  “The entire planet better get used to it.”

  I liked the change. Dark blue boots, silky cape, slightly darker blue costume—it was a whole new look. She even had a new logo on her chest, a spiky S with no C.

  “You look good,” Max said.

  “You look awesome,” George said.

  “You look stupendous,” I said.

  Everyone groaned, but I didn’t care.

  “So, Captain, there’s this situation going on,” Max said.

  “With potentially evil bears,” George said, nodding his head seriously.

  Max and George started giving Polly the deets on the teddy bear weirdness, and before joining in I took a minute to, you know, stop and smell the roses. It was a good day to be Vincent Wu. My mom was safe; I had the best friends a guy could want; I had a date with a cute girl who also happened to be the most powerful superhero in history; and I belonged to the smallest, dorkiest, greatest fan club in the world.

  There are still four Captain Stupendous fan clubs in Copperplate City, but don’t even waste your time with the other three. We’re the only one that’s ever brought down a grade-A bad guy. We’re the only one that knows the full story on the new and improved Stupendous. And we’re the only one with a real live superhero IN the club. We’re ready to flex the skinny biceps of justice whenever evildoers come around, whether they’re supernatural boogeymen; pissed-off, foreign demigods; or sixth-grade bullies. We may be the smallest fan club in the city—maybe in the country, possibly on the entire planet—but we’re the real deal.

  We’re the Captain Stupendous Fan Club, yo, and we are twenty-two varieties of awesome. All together now—Stupendous Alert!

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  Arthur Levine is the quintessential dream editor, and his towering professional acumen is matched by his kindness, sense of humor, and joie de vivre. Ammi-Joan Paquette has been a model of serenity, an unerring copilot, and an impeccable source of smart answers to silly questions.

  The Scholastic corporation is a hotbed of superpowers, including Emily Clement’
s eagle eye and quicksilver wit, Phil Falco’s design prowess, and the entire production team’s ferocious commitment to quality. Mike Maihack’s pictorial wizardry brought my characters to exquisite, heroic life. Clap your hands and say “yeah” for the best agency-mates ever, the EMLA Gango! Thumbs up for the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators, where I’ve made so many important connections and experienced so many pivotal moments.

  Mega kudos to Kupkake Killa Martha Flynn and Demonslayer Ellen Oh, who are glitter-coated, two-fisted, superstar critique partners. Hallelujah for my cadre of beta readers: Bryan Bliss, Heather Burke, Elizabeth Harrin, Raynbow Gignilliat, Rose Green, Natalie Lorenzi, Nona Morrison, and Nancy Wagner lent me their eyes and brains (not literally, you ghoul). I’m grateful to Aimee Bender for all her encouragement, literary wisdom, and career perspective.

  Verla Kay’s Blueboards will always be my first true virtual home—Blueboarders represent!—and I’m also grateful for my wise and wacky friends at EMU’s Debuts, the Enchanted Inkpot, the Mixed-Up Files of Middle-Grade Authors, and the Apocalypsies.

  Finally, all my love goes to Miranda, Zoe, and Leo. They’re the true source of everything meaningful in my life, and I’ll always be the president of their fan club.

  MIKE JUNG is an active blogger, parent, SCBWI member, and library professional. He lives in Oakland, California, with his wife and two young children. This is his first novel.

  MIKE MAIHACK is a graduate of the Columbus College of Art and Design. He lives in Tampa, Florida. Find him online at www.cowshell.com.

  Text copyright © 2012 by Mike Jung

  Illustrations copyright © 2012 by Mike Maihack

  All rights reserved. Published by Arthur A. Levine Books, an imprint of Scholastic Inc., Publishers since 1920. SCHOLASTIC, the LANTERN LOGO, and associated logos are trademarks and/or registered trademarks of Scholastic Inc.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Jung, Mike.

  Geeks, girls, and secret identities / by Mike Jung; with illustrations by

  Mike Maihack.—1st ed. p. cm.

  Summary: Twelve-year-old Vincent and his fellow members of the Captain Stupendous Fan Club help out when someone new becomes Earth’s most famous superhero, without knowing anything about him, just as evil Professor Mayhem and his robot arrive in Copperplate City.

  ISBN 978-0-545-33548-5 (hardcover: alk. paper)

  [1. Superheroes—Fiction. 2. Clubs—Fiction. 3. Robots—Fiction. 4. Middle schools—Fiction. 5. Schools—Fiction. 6. Humorous stories. 7. Science fiction.] I. Maihack, Mike, ill. II. Title.

  PZ7.J953Gee 2012 [Fic]—dc23

  2011042548

  First edition, October 2012

  Cover art © 2012 by Mike Maihack

  Cover design by Phil Falco

  e-ISBN: 978-0-545-39251-8

  All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher. For information regarding permission, write to Scholastic Inc., Attention: Permissions Department, 557 Broadway, New York, NY 10012.