Two Is a Lonely Number

by Amanda Torrey

  “What do you need, Ben?” She whipped around with the intention of having a grown up conversation, but her breasts brushed his chest and it was all she could do to keep her hormones in check.

  She hated her hormones.

  He cleared his throat. Good. He was affected, too.

  “Julia told me you stopped by.”

  “Yes.”

  “She told me you left crying.”

  The rat.

  “I was moved when I felt her baby wiggling and kicking. Rapid cycling emotions are one of the joys of pregnancy.”

  He smiled. Goddammit. His eyes crinkled in that little-boy-innocent way he had about him. His face creased on the side, and she remembered running her tongue along that crease when they danced at the wedding.

  “Don’t look at me like that. I’ll go back to being a tough bitch when the lentil is born.”

  “The lentil?”

  She ignored him, allowing him to stew in his confusion. Clearly he hadn’t been reading the pregnancy books.

  Her shoulders lifted. She kind of enjoyed feeling superior.

  “Anyway, I had stopped by to apologize.” Karly walked toward her mail pile, aimlessly shifting through old mail as a means of distraction. She wasn’t exactly the apologizing type.

  He moved toward her again. She wished she had a shock collar to wrap around his neck. She’d keep the controller in her pocket, and every time he came closer, she’d give him a little zap to help him keep his distance.

  “To apologize?” Humor tickled his voice. “For what?”

  She slammed the mail down on the table.

  “For being bitchy!” She screamed the words, and wondered if being bitchy during an apology for being bitchy negated the apology.

  “Oh, I see.”

  “It wasn’t supposed to come out like that.”

  “Karly, I’m the one who owes you an apology.”

  “Let’s not do this. I’m moving into the acceptance stage. Please don’t make me go backwards.”

  He ignored her plea as he paced the room.

  “If I had known I had done this to you, I never would have allowed the town to think Julia was romantically linked to me. I thought I was protecting her. In doing so, I managed to humiliate you. It was a shitty thing to do.”

  “We weren’t—aren’t—in a relationship. She’s a great girl. I can’t blame you for wanting to protect her. She needs you.”

  “And I need—”

  He stopped short. She wanted to urge him on. What did he need?

  He resumed his pacing, one hand firmly planted in his hair.

  What did he need?

  “I want to marry you.”

  Her heart stopped thudding. Her mouth dried. Her eyelids fluttered faster than a dragonfly’s wings.

  “I’m sorry, I think I misheard you.”

  “You heard me, Karly.”

  “Why the hell would you want to marry me? We can’t even get along for five minutes, never mind a lifetime! Jesus, Ben. We haven’t even dated.”

  “We dated.”

  “Okay, once. And look how that turned out.”

  “Best night of my life.”

  Why did he have to look so sincere?

  She took a deep breath, sending oxygen to her growing lentil.

  “Ben.” She used her most corrective voice. The one she had heard Ava use around dogs and small children. “We are not getting married.”

  “Give me one good reason why we shouldn’t.”

  He had lost his mind.

  “Let’s see…” She pretended to think, tapping her finger against her chin and staring at the ceiling. “We barely know each other.”

  “We know each other. We’re the same.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong,” she said, though she wasn’t sure she believed it. She knew she had changed since that night with him, but she couldn’t believe it went beyond the implantation.

  “Many great marriages have been built upon less fertile ground, so to speak.”

  Karly crossed her arms over her chest.

  “Do you love me?” She asked the question in the exaggerated, obvious way of making a point.

  He missed her sarcasm. He seemed to be searching for a politically correct way to tell her the truth.

  But she already knew the truth. She wasn’t an idiot.

  “Ben, knock it off. Of course you don’t love me.”

  He breathed a sigh of relief. Seriously. A sigh of freaking relief.

  She wanted to kick him out. But she didn’t have the strength. She hoped he’d leave on his own so she could hurry and get to her true love—her bed.

  “We created a baby together, we can create a life together. Love has no bearing on a good marriage.”

  She stared at him, suddenly feeling sorry for him.

  He looked like he believed his own words.

  Sure, she had abso-freaking-lutely no clue about love or marriage or healthy relationships, and she was more the “happy-for-now” girl than a believer in happily-ever-after, but somewhere deep in her core she believed that a family needed love to provide a firm foundation.

  She couldn’t sell out on that ideal. She’d rather live life as a permanent single than trade in one bad circumstance for another.

  When she was a young girl, her fantasies consisted of getting the hell away from her alcoholic mother and starting a life of her own. She didn’t swoon over wedding gowns and dream of meeting the perfect man.

  That wasn’t her.

  “Karly, come on. This could be good. I insist.”

  “You insist on what?”

  “I insist on you marrying me.”

  She laughed in his face, not caring that she hadn’t even had a mint.

  “You’re being unreasonable.” Ben gripped her upper arms. She kept laughing.

  “I’m being unreasonable?” she asked. “You realize we’re in the twenty-first century, right? People don’t get married because they’re pregnant anymore. My god, Ben.”

  “Well maybe they should.”

  She made an indelicate sound in her throat.

  “I want to take care of you. And the baby. He needs both parents.”

  “You can be as involved as you’d like. I won’t keep you from him or her.”

  “It’s my obligation to marry you. Our child deserves a family.”

  “Gee, Ben, you make it sound so romantic. Please try to hold back your extreme happiness.”

  “Of course I’m not happy about it!” Ben’s face reddened as he pulled away and punched a wall, leaving a gaping hole in her plaster and causing a framed photograph to plummet to the floor, shattering the glass front as it hit the hard wood.

  She remained still.

  “I’ll fix that.” Ben nodded toward the wall and bent to clean up the glass.

  When he finished stacking the pieces he could collect onto the frame, he stood up and placed his shaking hands on her shoulders.

  Her feet dug into the floor. She had become a statue—stone from head to toe.

  “I’m in this for the long haul. I got you pregnant. I broke your wall. I’ll fix all of it.”

  He had a maniacal look in his eyes. The charming, cocky, arrogant, self-assured man-candy had fled, leaving behind this vulnerable little boy with a family complex.

  She wondered what he had endured at those foster homes to make him so afraid.

  “My baby isn’t a hole in the wall.” She finally managed to find her voice, though it was small and guarded. “There’s no way for you to fix it.”

  “Dammit, Karly. Stop fighting me.”

  She wanted to kiss him. To cry to him. To punch him in the chest.

  But mostly she wanted him to leave.

  “I shouldn’t have told you.”

  “You think I wouldn’t have found out?”

  “I think it’s not your problem. You probably don’t even like lentils. Or ears. Or noses.”

  Squiggly marks formed between his eyes.

  Good. Let him
be confused.

  “Please leave.” She closed her eyes, feeling the ridiculous tears gathering again. “Please.”

  His arms dropped to his side, but he lingered. She kept her eyes closed, but she didn’t know how long she’d remain standing.

  She felt him stare at her.

  She also felt the final snap of any remote possibility of an amicable relationship.

  He closed the door softly on his way out.

  Chapter Ten

  “Might want to hold off on taking another shot. They’re going down a little too easily tonight.” Jake reached out to intervene before Ben could grab the bottle. “Give it a breather.”

  “Let’s shoot some darts,” Cole suggested.

  “She’s not even human.” Ben slurred his words, but he didn’t give a flying fuck.

  “You’ve said that,” Cole reminded him.

  “A few times,” Jake interjected, rolling his eyes.

  “You know what she said? That I probably don’t like noses. What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

  “You’re drunk.” Cole laughed.

  Ben swung at him, but Cole easily blocked the punch.

  “Okay, I’m drunk. But I do like lentils. Did you ever hear of anyone refusing a proposal because the other person might not like lentils? Women make no fucking sense. How did you let yourself get roped into this shit?”

  “I don’t think you interpreted whatever she said correctly.”

  Jake laughed as Cole tried to help Ben translate female-speak. Ben shot a menacing glare at the bartender, but Jake laughed louder.

  “You’re just like her. She laughed. Laughed. Like I had told a joke instead of offered her a life of wedded bliss. Aren’t women supposed to want that shit?”

  “Women want love, which you clearly weren’t offering.”

  “What the fuck is love? All a fairy tale.”

  Cole shook his head. Jake chuckled.

  “I don’t know. If I didn’t know better I’d think you really had fallen for her.”

  “Shut up, Jake. I offered her my whole world. What more could she want? Is it because I didn’t buy a ring? Women are shallow like that, I guess. I thought I’d let her pick it out herself.” He paused, studying his swollen knuckles. “I didn’t even think about a ring. Give me that bottle.”

  “Give him a drink, Jake. Maybe he’ll quit his ranting if he passes out.”

  Jake slid the bottle across the bar. It nearly slipped out of Ben’s hands, but he righted it before spilling too much.

  “I’m going there now. She’ll marry me, dammit.”

  “Whoa, not so fast.” Cole pushed him back onto his stool. “You’re not going anywhere. Give the woman her space.”

  “Dude, you can sleep upstairs tonight. You’re not driving. And we can’t let you loose on the world.”

  “Fuck you.” Ben guzzled. He didn’t care that the alcohol ran down his chin and onto the front of his shirt. Why should he care? He didn’t have a wife to impress.

  “So you punched the wall, huh?” Jake dug into his ice box and wrapped some in a towel, offering it to Ben. “Never thought you’d be the sort to lose your cool.”

  “I didn’t lose my cool. She pissed me off. That’s my baby, you know. My. Baby.”

  Ben pointed his finger and the bottle at Jake. Why was his head moving from side to side while Ben was trying to talk to him?

  “You’re both on her side, aren’t you?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “Be glad you dodged that bullet,” Jake said, offering Ben a bowl of popcorn. “Eat.”

  “She’s not a bullet. She’s beautiful.”

  “Wow, he’s gone,” Jake said to Cole.

  “I can hear you.” Ben pointed to his ears. “I like ears, remember? And noses.”

  “So what’s the deal? You say she’s infuriating—”

  “She is.”

  “You say she’s shallow, unreasonable, undeserving of your offer—”

  “And not human,” Cole interjected.

  “Right, not even human,” Jake continued. “And she has you punching walls. Ben Knight doesn’t punch walls. Ben makes love, not war.”

  “I’ll drink to that.” Ben swirled the bottle before taking another sip.

  Cole caught him before he tumbled off the stool.

  “You have choices, man. You don’t have to be married or even dating to raise a kid together. You don’t have to be with her.”

  Ben slammed the bottle onto the counter, leaning on the bar to steady himself.

  “I want her, dammit!”

  His head hit the bar, and the next morning he awoke upstairs in Jake’s spare room with wrapped knuckles and a whopper of a headache.

  ***

  Karly’s mood was just fine. Not spectacular. Not delightful. Not excited or joyous or particularly happy, even. Just fine.

  And she was okay with that.

  She had managed to make it through the entire morning without vomiting even once. Come to think of it, she didn’t remember throwing up at all the previous day, either. Maybe she was on the other side of it.

  So her car and her camera had broken down in the same week. No need to worry. Ava had offered to drive her to her first OB/GYN appointment, and she’d use her next paycheck to repair her camera.

  Things were just fine.

  She hadn’t heard from Ben in two weeks, which was also just fine. Excellent, actually.

  He had sent a guy from his work crew to her house to fix the hole in the wall the day after he punched it. She hadn’t been disappointed to not see him. Not at all.

  Sure, he was a responsible guy. But he didn’t know how to clean up his own messes.

  He probably wasn’t used to rejection. He had acted as though he had been offering her his head on a platter, and she should be honored to share the delicacy.

  No thanks. She wasn’t desperate.

  Five minutes before Ava was due to pick her up, Ava initiated a video call. Rushing around to finish getting ready, Karly accepted the call and carried Ava around with her.

  “Ready for your appointment?” Ava squealed in delight. “I still can’t believe we’ll be due around the same time. Can’t wait to get your reaction after you hear the heartbeat!”

  “You’ll be in there with me. You get a front row seat to see it all unfold.”

  “Actually…”

  A knock at the door interrupted the conversation.

  “Ava, why is there a knock on my door at the same time you should be picking me up? And you’re still sitting in your kitchen?”

  “That’s what I was calling to tell you.”

  Karly didn’t disconnect the call as she walked toward the door.

  “I’ll kill you,” Karly promised her friend.

  Ava shrugged, her sly grin making Karly want to punch her in the face—best friend or not.

  “He insisted.”

  Karly growled as she exited the video call without saying goodbye.

  She growled again when she saw Ben standing at the door, looking every bit as calm and collected as normal.

  Completely different from the last time she had seen him.

  But still unbearably hot.

  She removed her sweater.

  Was it him or was it hormones? Or were they the same thing?

  “I have to tell you, I’m not overjoyed about this.” Karly looked him in the eye as she told him. She would not look at his broad, leather jacket-covered shoulders or his trim waist. No way would she check his bulge to see if he was as excited to see her as she was to see him.

  Undignified.

  She couldn’t help it. She peeked.

  And he was overjoyed to see her, if his bulging jeans were any indication.

  “Stop that or we won’t make it to the appointment.”

  Gosh darn him and his sexy voice.

  “You know what, Ben? You have some nerve coming in here with that. I’m a pregnant woman. There’s no room for sex in my life.”
<
br />   He stepped forward, bringing his knee-weakening, manly smell closer. Scent had become a huge trigger for her lately—like she had some kind of smelling super power.

  And his scent was making her body temperature rise. She’d be naked in seconds if she didn’t put an end to his flirtation.

  “Stop.” She held her hand up. “Stop looking so good. Stop smelling so good. Sweet jelly beans, I can’t stop imagining that you’ll taste so good.”

  She was a goner.

  And he knew it.

  He captured her easily, pulling her hips to his as he pressed his bulging zipper against her.

  She wanted nothing more than to unwrap this gift he offered.

  “I’m going to be late and it’s all your fault. And Ava’s fault for doing this to me.”

  “Ava’s not doing this—I am.” He whispered against her neck, nibbling and kissing a trail to her ear as she clutched his arms to stay upright.

  “I thought we weren’t speaking,” Karly reminded him, tossing her head back so he could access her sensitive areas more easily.

  “We’re not talking.”

  His lips almost on hers, she remembered who they were and what the day was about and found the strength to push him away.

  They each took a moment to regain their breath.

  When he had recovered, accusation darkened his eyes.

  “How could you not tell me that you had an appointment for our baby?”

  “It’s hardly a baby yet. Didn’t really see the need to inform you.”

  “It’s my baby, and I have the right to know these things.”

  “You seem so sure that it’s actually yours. Just because I told you I’m pregnant doesn’t mean it’s definitely yours, you know.”

  She had been playing, and maybe wanting to hit below the belt a little, but the way his eyes shifted made her want to cry.

  Before she could assure him that he was really the baby daddy, he called BS.

  “I’m not an idiot. Neither of us is innocent. We know how to play by the rules. We messed up the protection that night. I’m always careful. Always. I know enough about you to know you’re the same. Are you going to tell me I’m wrong about that?”

  “No.” She hated that her voice didn’t roar.

  “Besides, Ava has been gushing that you found out around the same time and that hers is a honeymoon baby. I’m not an idiot.”