“Other than when I intentionally let the circle go, it held while you practiced. We should be fine.”
I look at him doubtfully. I don’t like that he said should be instead of would be. But, he’s the one that’s supposed to know what he’s doing.
After we have a small breakfast of sausage and oatmeal, we leave the cave and position ourselves where we have the last couple of days to practice. I continually look around expecting to see Maurelle or Olwyn jump out from behind a tree. As a matter of fact, I am so worried about it that it breaks my concentration when I’m pulling magic which helps me feel past the feeling of elation and be able to tell how much magic I should be pulling. I stop when I feel it trying to seep out of me and into Kallen.
I hold the magic for several moments and then I let it slip through me back to the earth. I open my eyes and look at Kallen and he’s actually almost smiling at me. “How was that?” I ask.
“Much better. Now, do it again.”
So much for the fanfare for me finally gaining some control. Closing my eyes, I pull again. This time it’s harder to control because the excitement of having done something right in regards to my magic pushes Maurelle and Olwyn out of my mind. As the magic flows through me and outward, though, I am brought back to my senses by having it slammed back towards me. I can feel Kallen’s magic keeping mine at bay. For a second, I’m tempted to push against him but my common sense kicks in and I let it seep out of me again.
When I open my eyes, Kallen says, “Good. Now what I’d like you to do is fill yourself with only the amount of magic you can hold and then keep it at that level for as long as you can. This will help you learn to hold magic for long periods of time for things like clothes or keeping up a circle as I am.”
I nod and close my eyes again. I pull the magic into me and hold it. It’s hard to keep it from seeping out of me either towards Kallen or back towards the earth. Magic apparently doesn’t like to be stagnant. It feels like I’ve been holding it forever when I finally lose my precarious hold on it. Unfortunately, instead of flowing back to the earth, it wants to be set free. I struggle to control it and I feel Kallen pushing against it to help me. But that’s not how my magic sees it. As if some basic part of my nature causes it to develop a mind of its own, it becomes defensive and pushes back hard against Kallen. His magic responds by increasing in strength as well until we are back to having an invisible line of molten lava between us trying to set one of us on fire.
“Let go,” I hear Kallen say but I can’t. I try to push my magic back down but it simply won’t go. “Xandra, you must let it go,” he says again and his voice sounds strained but still, I can’t make my magic retreat.
“I can’t,” I say between gritted teeth. “It won’t let me.”
“You control the magic, it does not control you.”
Yeah, easy for him to say. “I can’t push it out of me, it won’t go.”
“Xandra, I cannot keep you at bay much longer without letting go of the circle, let it go!” he barks as if he thinks that if he says it nasty enough I will just simply stop. But I can’t stop. I have absolutely no control. I feel my magic pushing harder against Kallen and his defenses are starting to fail. The molten lava is starting to creep towards him and the magic he is using begins to grow stronger to keep from being completely destroyed by it.
I feel the exact moment that he lets go of the circle. It’s as if the air around us is sucked inwards like a vacuum and then it pushes out in a mushroom cloud of energy seeking to destroy anything in its path. I wrench my hand from Kallen’s and cover my ears to try to block out the reverberating sound of atoms exploding around us. I feel Kallen wrapping his body around mine, covering me, as we fall to the ground and are covered with an immense weight that tries to push us into the earth.
It’s snow that’s covering us. Piles and piles of snow. I begin to panic as a sense of claustrophobia that I have never felt before fills me. I push against Kallen so I can get my arms free to start digging but he wraps himself tighter around me. “Stop,” he says close to my ear. “Let me remove the snow.”
It takes all of my willpower to keep my panic at bay and not move. I hold my breath and wait for Kallen to do as he promised and get us out of here. My panic starts to ebb as I feel the weight of the snow slowly leaving us. When the snow is finally thin enough to press through it, Kallen stands up and brings me with him. As soon as my face surfaces, I start taking deep rasping breaths.
Kallen turns me around and looks me over. “Are you hurt?” he asks as he shakes my shoulders to get my attention. “Xandra, are you hurt?”
My breathing starts to ease and I’m able to shake my head. “No,” I gasp between breaths. My eyes are as wide as saucers and my whole body is shaking as I look up at him. “Why couldn’t I let it go?”
His face is grim. “I do not know. I have never known of a Fairy who could not willing let his or her magic seep back into the earth at will.”
Does that mean he doesn’t believe me? “But I couldn’t, I swear. I tried but it wouldn’t go back!”
He nods his head but his expression doesn’t change. “I know you did, I felt it. But I need you to calm down. We need to go.”
I have no idea what he’s talking about. “Go? Go where?”
“Anywhere but here.”
“Why?”
He looks at me with raised brows and then gestures his arm around us. For the first time, I take a good look around us. Snow is everywhere. I don’t mean like it was ten minutes ago when it was on tree branches and covered the ground. I mean that it’s now covering some small trees completely and I can’t even see the path back to the cave. We caused an avalanche, a real live avalanche.
“Xandra,” Kallen says drawing my attention back to him. “It is not safe to stay here. We have to go. More snow could fall at any moment.”
Dad always tried to prepare us for things like this when we’d go camping but thinking about what to do when you talk about it and thinking about what to do when it actually happens are two very different things but as Kallen begins to move, my mind starts to clear. He’s right, we need to get out of here. We also have to be extremely careful because there may be pockets in the snow that are not as dense as others causing us to fall into them and once again be covered with suffocating snow.
“What about our things?” I ask stupidly because even I can see that there is no possible way we are going to get back into that cave. Everything we brought, food, my sleeping bag, Mom’s grimoire, are all sealed under a small mountain of snow. Trying to get to them would be tantamount to trying to commit suicide.
“I believe we need to be more worried about the runners,” Kallen says and I swing my eyes back to him.
“You mean they can track us now?”
He nodded once. “I let go of my circle and even though they are not strong enough to sense me, they may be able to sense you because of your Witch’s blood. And an avalanche of this size caused by magic is hard to miss.”
I hang my head and try really hard not to cry. “I’m sorry.”
Kallen puts a finger under my chins and lifts my face until I’m looking at him. “It is not your fault that I keep underestimating your power and overestimating your control over it. I will not make that mistake again. But we will worry about that after we take our leave.”
I nod numbly and he takes my hand leading me away from the cave. He steps gingerly in the snow, testing each step before putting all of his weight on any spot, and I am careful to follow exactly in his footsteps. Our progress is slow and each step causes me to become more and more depressed. Was it really less than a week ago that my biggest wish was that I lived near a mall? I’m certainly over that now. Now, I would give anything for dry clothes and a roof over my head somewhere far away from Fairies and Witches.
We have walked for about an hour when Kallen stops so abruptly that I walk into him. I hear him mutter an oath under his breath and he turns around pulling me behind him. I’m about to ask wh
at’s wrong but the look on his face when he looks down at me tells me this isn’t the time to ask him anything. About five minutes later as we stand perfectly still, I see them. A wolf and a mountain lion bounding through the snow not caring about the possible aftereffects of the avalanche.
As they catch site of us, they begin to slow and the air shimmers as they transition out of their animal forms even as they keep walking towards us. After living with Kallen for the last few days and his quick ability to clothe himself after he shifts, I forgot that when Fairies shift they are very much naked afterward. But this probably isn’t the best time to be concerned about their state of dress.
They stop about ten yards from us. Olwyn inclines his head in greeting. “Kallen.”
Kallen doesn’t say a word which earns him an angry look from Olwyn which he tries to cover as soon as he realizes he is doing it. “We appreciate you keeping the girl safe for us. The king will be pleased.”
“I am not concerned with the pleasure of the king,” Kallen says evenly.
Maurelle cocks her head and studies him. A small sneer grows on her face. “At first, we assumed that you wanted to deliver the girl to King Dagda yourself to garner more of his esteem, but you really have come to prevent the opening, haven’t you?”
“No good could come from opening the Fae realm. It will only cause death and destruction.”
Maurelle grins in a way that looks more like a snarl. “But not our death or our destruction. You who has always been so careful to limit your interactions with anyone who is not full Fae should be pleased with what we can do when we come back here in great numbers.”
Kallen’s face is hard and unyielding. “I find nothing appealing about exerting power over a race that is not able to defend itself against us.”
Maurelle laughs wickedly. “Don’t tell me this little Witch half-breed has turned you soft. The king will be greatly disappointed in you.”
“King Dagda knew the position I was willing to take against his plans before I left the Fae realm.” I see a shadow cross over his face as he says this.
Maurelle must have noticed it, as well. “And what position is that? Certainly you do not believe that you can keep her safe forever.” Kallen doesn’t answer. He just stares back at Maurelle with no emotion whatsoever on his face now.
Maurelle’s eyes flash in anger. “But you do not plan to keep her safe forever, do you?” I have no idea what she means by that. Kallen swore on his life that he will protect me for as long as he is able.
Still, he doesn’t say anything. I look at Olwyn and he seems just as confused about this conversation as I am. What is it that he and I aren’t getting?
“You are determined to keep the Fae world sealed at any cost.” Maurelle says as if she finally understands that Kallen is serious. Shifting her eyes to me, she asks him, “Have you explained this to her yet?”
Kallen doesn’t respond so I do. “Explain what to me?”
Maurelle laughs the wickedest laugh I have ever heard as she addresses Kallen instead of me. “Oh, this is precious. She is in the hands of the lion and she does not even realize it.” Shifting her eyes back to me, she says, “You have chosen the lion over the lambs. Olwyn and I are simply messengers on an errand to retrieve something essential for our people. We mean you no harm; we will simply transport you to the gate between realms as we have been instructed by our king.”
“Do not believe her lies,” Kallen says between tight lips.
“Oh, but what I am telling her is not a lie. No harm will come to her while she is with us but you cannot say the same, can you, Kallen?”
I expect Kallen to refute what she’s saying but he doesn’t. “Kallen, what’s she talking about?” His eyes are burning daggers at Maurelle and he doesn’t answer my question.
“Kallen,” I say again. “Tell me what she’s talking about.”
Maurelle laughs. “Oh, but if he tells you, you will not be so willing to stay with him.”
Ignoring her, I pull on Kallen’s arms until he’s looking at me. “Tell me what she’s talking about?” I demand but his eyes shift away from mine and he still doesn’t say anything. Fine, then I guess I’ll have to ask Maurelle.
“Since Kallen won’t, why don’t you spell it out for me. What am I missing here?”
“Oh, how I do love to spoil Kallen’s plans. Don’t you understand the only way for you to never open the realms is for there to no longer be a you?” She watches me with purely evil enjoyment as her words sink into my thick head. “Ah, you understand that now, I see.” Turning to Kallen, she says, “What I do not understand is why you have kept her alive this long.”
What she’s saying has to be a lie. Kallen swore with his life. If I die because he doesn’t protect me then he dies. “I don’t believe it,” I say to Maurelle.
“Then ask him yourself.”
Fine, I will. I stand in front of Kallen until he finally looks down at me instead of glowering at Maurelle. “Did you come here to kill me?”
He takes a long time before he answers. “I came to determine how big of a threat you are to both realms,” he says evenly.
“And if you determine that I am too big of a threat, you will kill me.” Please say no, please, I plead with my eyes.
“That was what I intended.”
An anger like I have never felt before seethes through me. He didn’t come here to teach me to protect myself. He came here on a search, learn and destroy mission.
“It is not too late for you to come with us,” Maurelle says in what I imagine she thinks is a convincing voice. “We can protect you from Kallen’s plan.”
That I know is a lie. I believe what Kallen said about Cowan Fairies being weaker than him because of how surprised he’s been at the amount of power I can pull. That thought sinks in. The amount of power I can pull. Right now. I can get away from all three Fairies. So that’s what I do. I pull and I pull and I feel the magic flood me, fill me, and then overflow from me.
Kallen knows what I’m doing. He can sense it and I see honest to god fear on his face. Maurelle and Olwyn must not be able to feel my pull because they are still looking at me smugly as if I’m going to tell Kallen to go to hell and go off with them. Yeah, not in this lifetime – however short it may end up being.
My rage is fueling my power. It’s not just spilling over, it’s on its own search and destroy mission. I pull harder and I feel it lashing out. Maurelle and Olwyn must have begun to feel its effects because neither are smiling now. As they take in the fear on Kallen’s face, they start to show some of their own.
“Xandra, don’t,” Kallen pleads. “I do not want to hurt you, I swear to you.”
More lies. They just keep piling one on top of the other and they are beginning to become a mountain taller than the one we are standing on. I pull more and the magic is answering me gladly. I push it out and I see Maurelle and Olwyn fall to their knees in pain and confusion. I can feel their paltry magic and Kallen’s right, they are weak. But he’s not, so I direct more magic towards him and I feel him fighting me, trying to push it away but I’m determined to force him to let me go. I feel as if I could fill this forest with my magic. I can see Maurelle and Olwyn on the ground now as my magic burns through them. I remember the feel of Kallen’s magic doing that to me. I remember how much it hurts but I need to show them that I will not go willingly with any of them.
And then the strangest thing happens. Kallen lets go of his magic. He lets it flow through him back to the earth allowing my magic to burn through him as it is Maurelle and Olwyn. Why is he doing that? He could have kept me at bay longer if not indefinitely.
He’s gasping from the pain now but he looks at me with determined eyes. “I am not going to hurt you,” he says.
“Stop lying to me!” I scream at him.
“I have never lied to you.”
I try to hold my magic steady as I respond. “Really? Because I don’t remember having a conversation with you about you coming here to kill me.” H
e closes his eyes against the pain. Why is he letting me do this?
“The first day we met, in the woods near your home, I told you that a Sheehogue Fairy will only take a life if it is for the greater good. You said that I was not going to kill you because I had not already. I told you that I had not decided that yet.”
Son of a bitch, he did say that. It’s not his fault that I didn’t take him seriously. “But you took a blood oath to protect me as you would your own life. If I die, you die.”
He’s on his hands and knees and he struggles to lift his face up to look at me. “Yes.”
The magic flows out of me so fast that I fall to my knees as well. “No freaking way. You are willing to die if that’s what it takes to keep me from opening the gateway.”
He’s taking deeper breaths now as his body is no longer wracked with pain. “Yes,” he repeats.
“But if you decide that I’m not going to open the gate and I’m powerful enough to keep anyone from making me do that, then you’ll go back to the Fae realm and leave me alone.”
True of Blood (Witch Fairy Series) Page 14