I smile. “You’re kind of like a walking encyclopedia of Witch knowledge. So when it says when the moon is riding at her peak, then your heart's desire you should seek it means that the best time to perform Witch magic and have it be the most successful is during the full moon.”
Kallen nods. “That is correct.”
Not wanting to talk about the part of the song that says love will kiss thee on the mouth, I skip over the wind section. I’m pretty sure I understand that part anyway. “Heed ye flower, bush, and tree - by the Lady blessed be means learn what various plants can do and how to use them, right?”
“Correct.”
A loud bleating sound from just outside the cave makes me jump and instinctively, I move closer to Kallen. A second later, two horns attached to a large mountain goat can be seen at the mouth of our shallow cave. With a chuckle, Kallen stands up and looks down at me. “It seems we are not the only ones seeking shelter here from the snow. Unless you care to sleep with a goat, I am going to send him on his way.”
“Please,” I say embarrassed that I was afraid of a goat. I have lived in the mountains my whole life, why am I acting like such a pansy?
After he gets rid of the goat, Kallen and I talk for a bit longer but as the storm picks up outside I can tell that he’s getting concerned about something. “What’s wrong?” I finally ask.
He looks down at his hands for a moment before he answers. With a deep sigh, he looks back up at me. “The rock slide that occurred last night has made for an unstable resting place for the snow. I am concerned that the heavy snow that is falling may create a shift of the already loosened rocks.”
Translation: I caused a rock slide because I have such poor control over my magic and have made part of the mountain so unstable that we may end up trapped in this cave by either more rocks or an avalanche. Great, now I’m worried, too.
As the snow keeps falling, so does the temperature in the cave until I’m shivering so badly that I have to crawl into my sleeping bag as Kallen and I continue to talk. Unfortunately, he starts shivering soon after. I can tell that he’s trying not to look as cold as he must be but in the dim light of the lantern I can see that his lips are beginning to turn blue.
Reluctantly, I unzip the sleeping bag, which I regret the second the cold air hits my body, and motion for him to join me. He shakes his head. “I fear that I would make you too uncomfortable after my poor behavior last night.”
I’m a little worried about that myself but he can’t stay out in the cold. I sigh in frustration and annoyance because the longer we argue about this, the colder I will get. “Are you planning to behave poorly again?”
A small smile tugs at his lips and he looks amused. “I am not.”
“Then will you please just shut up and get over here? I’m freezing.”
He hesitates about a second more and then his boots disappear as he crawls towards me. I shift in the sleeping bag to make room for him and once again, I find myself spooning with a Fairy. I never even dreamed that something like that was possible just a few days ago yet here I am.
Unlike the last time when Kallen put his arms around me, he lays his head on his arm which he has curled up and out of the sleeping bag which means that it can’t be zipped all the way up and his other arm is resting on his side. I turn my head so I can see him. “You know, it would be a lot warmer if we could zip the bag all the way up but we can’t because you have your arm like that.” Not that I want his arms around me, I’m just making a point.
Reluctantly, he shifts again and now one of his arms is under me and the other is resting on my waist and I can zip the bag all the way up. Kallen is still trying hard not to touch me with his body which is nearly impossible in such a confined space. Part of me appreciates his efforts and the other part of me is offended.
We lay like that for a while listening to the wind. I am positive that Kallen has fallen asleep until he says close to my ear, “Who is Edgar Allen Poe?”
I can’t help but laugh. Finally, something I know that he doesn’t. “He was a writer around a hundred and fifty years ago or so. He wrote a very famous poem about a raven.”
“An unflattering poem, I presume, from what you quoted.”
“Actually, the disposition of the narrator of the poem is the central theme. The raven simply acts as a catalyst for his continued sorrow about the loss of his love. The raven is only able to say the word ‘nevermore’ and so the narrator keeps asking it questions that will make him feel worse and worse when the raven says that one word.”
“So the raven was not a bad creature?”
“Well, it did supposedly have the eyes of a demon,” I tease.
“Impossible,” Kallen remarks.
“Really? Why is that?”
“Demons have eyes that are nothing like a raven’s.”
I turn my body around so I can look at him. “Are you telling me that demons are real?”
I can barely make out his expression in the dark when he says, “Do not worry; there are no demons here tonight.” That definitely did not answer my question.
“Are you teasing me or are there really demons?”
Kallen laughs. “Oh, so much to learn yet.”
“You’re laughing at my expense again.”
“I cannot help that you are amusing.”
I don’t know why I do it, maybe it’s because we have gone for hours without arguing or maybe because this whole situation is so outrageous already that nothing could really make it worse. Whatever the reason, I lift my head and find his lips with mine. He doesn’t react at all for a long moment, he doesn’t push me away or deepen the kiss, he is perfectly still. Embarrassed to no end, I pull back from him and I see the surprise in his eyes. And then his lips are on mine again and this time, it’s a real kiss. His lips are soft and gentle as he explores mine. And when I feel his tongue tease my lips, I open my mouth to him and it becomes everything a first kiss should be. Kallen shifts his body so I can lay flat and he’s on top of me, pressed against me, as he kisses me the way I always imagined it would be. His hand is in my hair, keeping me close as he explores my mouth with his. My arms have weaved around his back and I love the feel of his body on mine.
And then as quickly as it started, it’s over. He pulls back from me. “Dammit,” he says under his breath as he shifts again so that he is next to me instead of on top of me. His eyes are closed and his breathing is fast and raspy. And I lay there wanting to die of embarrassment.
As tears form in my eyes, I turn on my side away from the pained look that’s on his face. “Sorry, I forgot you don’t kiss half-breeds,” I say softly trying not to let him know how hurt I am.
“Xandra,” he says as he puts his hand on my shoulder. “That is not it, I just – I cannot let this happen now.”
I don’t want his pity or for him to tell me again how I’m not worthy of him. I shake his hand off my shoulder. “I understand,” I say and I’m so happy that my voice stays neutral.
He puts his hand back on my shoulder. “No, you do not.”
“Sure I do, so let’s just forget this ever happened, okay? It’s not a big deal.”
Kallen sighs but he doesn’t say anything else. He also doesn’t take his hand off my shoulder. Doing my best to ignore the fact that we are back to a position where we are spooning, I work hard to make my breathing slow and rhythmic as if I’m falling asleep to prevent any further attempts on his part to talk about the single most humiliating moment of my life. I’m more determined than ever now to try gain control over my magic. The faster that happens, the sooner I can get the hell away from Kallen.
As I am beginning to nod off for real, I swear I hear him whisper in my ear, “It was a big deal to me.” But I’m sure that was just my own mind trying to ease my embarrassment.
Chapter 11
I’m awake before the sun comes up. As my brain begins to shake off sleep, it also begins to remember how it completely shut off last night when I decided to kiss Kallen. What was I
thinking? Obviously I wasn’t. Put aside the fact that he’s three hundred and fifty years older than me, he has also made it abundantly clear that I am so not his type. I wish I had read a spell in Mom’s grimoire that could make me invisible because I have no idea how I’m going to face him after last night.
As quietly and carefully as I can, I unzip the sleeping bag so I can crawl out of it. Kallen’s arm is around my waist and I pray that he doesn’t wake up as I slowly move out from under it. It seems to take forever, but finally I’m free of the sleeping bag and him. I zip it back up so the cold doesn’t wake him and I put my feet into my boots and lace them up.
The snow is still falling but not nearly as heavily as it was last night. Looking around, it seems as if a good foot of snow fell during the night. Great, more clean snow to pee on. Which is what I have to do as soon as possible my bladder is telling me.
Zipping my jacket up to the top, I pull my gloves out of my jacket pocket and I step out into the snow. I go about a hundred yards away from the cave around a small bend. I would be horrified if Kallen got to see me pee on top of everything else. A few minutes later, I am zipping my pants back up when I hear a noise, the crunch of snow under heavy feet. I crouch down behind a tree trunk and wait. I expect to see a deer or another goat show it’s face but apparently, unless I find a leprechaun really soon, I am never going to have good luck again. Maurelle and Olwyn are about thirty yards down the mountain heading west.
My heart is racing as I duck back behind the tree. My jacket is bright red so I’m sure they’re going to look this way and easily spot me. Why didn’t I pick a nice white coat instead? Or maybe white with leaves and branches on it so I could blend into the scenery. I hold my breath and am flooded with relief as they keep walking away from me and the cave.
When I can no longer see them, I hurry back to the cave darting between trees and constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure they aren’t following me. By the time I reach the cave, my chest is tight and if I didn’t know better, I would swear I am having a heart attack. I duck into the cave and fall to my knees next to Kallen and I shake him awake.
As soon as he opens his eyes and sees the panic on my face, he sits up straight. “What is it?” he demands as he starts unzipping the sleeping bag.
“They’re here, they found us!”
Kallen lets out a sigh of what sounds like relief and he rubs his hands over his face. What the hell?? “Aren’t you going to do something?” I demand.
Looking back up at me, he says, “I am.”
I cross my arms over my chest and glower at him. “What do you mean, you are?”
He scratches his scalp and then shakes his head as if he still isn’t completely awake. “I mean, I am already doing something. I put up a circle when we first set up camp here. They can’t detect us because we are between realms.”
I rock back until I’m sitting on my butt. “Between realms?”
He nods as he yawns. “Yes. As I explained last night, a well made circle sits between realms and cannot be crossed. It serves as an invisible barrier that cannot be seen and causes anyone around it to just simply ignore it and the area it covers.”
“So, we’re in a different reality or something?” I remember him explaining this last night but I had thought of it in the abstract, not that it was really possible.
He shakes his head. “No, reality remains constant between realms; the circle just makes certain things invisible to either realm just as it is impossible for one realm to look into the other without a gateway.”
I think I’m starting to get it but I’m also still confused. “A mountain goat found us, why can’t two Fairies?”
“Because animals are not sentient beings which in some ways makes them above magic. In order to be completely in a separate realm, on some level you have to realize that there is more than one realm. Animals are not capable of that and since the realms basically sit on top of each other, they are able to wander between them without any knowledge of what they are doing. So, that means that they can also wander into circles that exist between the two realms.”
Okay, I’m not having a heart attack now, I’m having an aneurysm. He is seriously making my head hurt. But after a second, I remember something I read once. “It’s kind of like Douglas Adam’s SEP field.”
Kallen looks at me like I’m crazy so I explain. “Douglas Adams wrote a series of books and in one of them, he described a phenomenon called a Somebody Else’s Problem field. An SEP is something we can't see, or our brain doesn't let us see or simply refuses to try to understand, because we think that it's somebody else's problem. Our brains just edits it out, it's like a blind spot. That’s basically what the animals do. The concept of different realms is beyond their understanding so they simply don’t worry about it and go about their business not worrying about whether they are in the same realm they were in when they woke up that morning. But we can’t do that because on a very basic level we know we have to stay in our own realm.”
Now Kallen looks like his head hurts but after he thinks about it for a moment, he says, “Your analogy is convoluted but it seems to vaguely resemble what I explained.”
I’m still not sure I understand the whole concept but I move on. “So, how are you holding this circle in place?”
“I am keeping a certain amount of magic within me that is helping me keep the circle.”
Okay, I’m impressed. “And you’ve done this since we got here?”
“With one exception, yes.”
“What exception?”
He looks a little sheepish and has trouble meeting my eyes. “When I became angry that I was having trouble pushing your magic from me, I released the circle so I could focus more magic towards defending myself.”
Oh, I’m super annoyed now. “So, instead of just telling me that you would be stronger if you weren’t maintaining a circle, your pride stepped in and you had to show me even though you know I’m not hurting you on purpose. And then I end up with a broken rib. And during that time, if those two Fairies had shown up like they just did, they could have found us.” His lips press together in a tight line and he nods his head.
I stand up and back away from him. “You’re an ass.”
He doesn’t say anything in response, he simply stands up and uses his magic to make his boots appear which makes another couple of neurons in my brain fire in the right direction and figure something out. Giving him a cold look, I ask, “If you can make your clothes appear and disappear so easily, why can’t you make your own sleeping bag?”
I swear I see the corners of his lips trying to move upward. He suddenly becomes busy starting up the camp stove for breakfast. “Well?” I ask tapping my foot.
Finally, he looks up at me and he’s not smiling but he does have a twinkle in his eye that wasn’t there a moment ago. “Magic can protect one from many things but extremely cold temperatures are difficult and one must use a large amount of magic to ensure warmth. Using that much magic on a sleeping bag that could keep me as warm as yours would have affected the integrity of the circle I am holding.”
My common sense is screaming at me that he’s lying but my brain disagrees because there is no way that he would have purposely chosen to sleep with me in my sleeping bag if he had another choice. Because a bigger part of me doesn’t want to know which of those two is the correct, I let the subject drop. “How do you think they managed to get so close to us if they can’t detect us in this circle?”
His lips press into a thin line. “I should not have allowed you to test your magic outside of a circle neither the first time you tried nor yesterday morning. I incorrectly assumed that because Cowan Fairies are weaker, that a Witch Fairy would be as well. But you are not and because your magic is so strong, the runners are probably able to sense it.”
“Good thing that pride of yours had to kick in so you could prove you’re stronger than me, huh?” The sarcasm is dripping from my mouth almost to the point where I need a napkin.
Kallen stands up, walks over to stand in front of me and looks down his perfectly proportioned nose at me. “That is yet to be determined.”
I hate it when he stands next to me. It’s like standing next to a giant since he’s about a foot taller than me. I have to tilt my head back to look at his face. “So, what, I could be stronger than you?”
He shrugs. “You have not come into your full magic yet. That will take years.”
I feel myself pale a little. “You mean my magic could get stronger? But I can’t control what I have now, what will I do if there’s more of it.”
“Let’s just worry about what you have now,” he says evenly. Something flashes in his eyes but it’s gone before I can figure out what it is.
“Can we practice with them so close?”
True of Blood (Witch Fairy Series) Page 13