I bring my hand up to my forehead in disbelief. I can’t believe I forgot what day of the week it is.
It’s pizza night tonight.
Lucy and Emmett, along with my entire family come over here for pizza every Sunday night.
“Oh crap,” I mutter under my breath.
I’m not sure if I’m ready for Rylan to meet my family, or more to the point, for my family to subject him to the rounds of interrogation that they’re bound to, but at the same time, I can think of nothing worse than him walking back out of my door so soon after arriving.
Rylan obviously hears the unexpected visitor too because he appears in front of me in the kitchen.
He must see the expression on my face because he chuckles. “You forget you were expecting company?”
I groan. “I’m so sorry. It’s Lucy and Emmett… we have dinner every Sunday with my whole family… I guess it slipped my mind.”
He smiles and steps forward to take my hands in his. He intertwines his fingers with mine and looks down at me with the sweetest expression on his face.
“It’s okay… we can do this another night. It’s no big deal.”
All I can think about is stretching up to kiss him – so I do.
My lips meet his in the way I’ve been craving all day long. He sighs in satisfaction against my mouth and my legs turn to jelly.
“Ooh la la… hello there, good doctor.” Lucy’s voice comes from behind me, and the intrusion is enough to break our lips apart, but not our eyes.
The brief yet passionate contact tells me everything I need to know – he’s right where he should be and there’s no way I’m letting him leave now.
“Stay,” I whisper to him.
I can’t recall what I was worried about.
It’s almost as though he’s been part of Sunday night dinner forever. He fits in so effortlessly that I’m waiting for the moment where the penny drops and it all goes wrong.
Sadly, that’s what the circumstance surrounding my life has taught me to expect. But for now, at least, everything seems to be going better than I could have hoped for.
My mum loves him. Even if she hadn’t cornered me in the kitchen earlier to tell me exactly that, I would have known anyway – it’s obvious to see that she’s absolutely smitten with him.
Charlie’s looking at him with total admiration – like he wants to be him when he grows up. Even Auggie is a fan. She told me, and I quote, that ‘he really is cute… and a doctor too’, so as far as August goes, that’s praise of the highest kind.
My dad hasn’t threatened to shoot him if he hurts me like he did to August’s first boyfriend, so that too is a win in my book.
Lucy is sitting in her usual spot, watching the whole thing play out like she’s some type of cupid genius. She might be awfully smug that things are working out well so far, but I can also see how genuinely thrilled she is that there’s finally a man in my life. I know she’s been worried; we probably all have – that I’d never find someone to share myself with.
Sure, it’s early days yet, and he might run a mile when I tell him the truth, but this is still so much more promising than any other relationship I’ve had. It’s progress. And regardless of the result, it’s going to be a good learning curve for me.
There’s a chance that meeting my family could even work in my favour – maybe it’ll help him to separate me from my condition.
Even Lucy’s mum is a little bit in love with him.
I should have realised that they would know each other – Linda has been a nurse in the paediatric ward at Royal West since before I was born.
She, Emmett and Rylan all work in the same place so it’s like a little hospital reunion in here.
Linda doesn’t join us every Sunday, but I can tell she’s awfully chuffed that she decided to attend tonight.
I can’t even blame her really, Rylan is more than worth looking at, and when he opens his mouth, he only gets more attractive. He’s smart and funny and I can’t speak for everyone in the room, but I can’t help but be drawn into his presence.
Much to my relief, no one has mentioned my heart – not that they often do on these nights, but still, the worry was there.
Considering this evening was entirely forgotten by me, I couldn’t have planned it better if I’d tried.
Lucy’s mum and my parents have just left, and my brother and sister are about to follow suit.
Everyone seems a little more reluctant than usual to go and I’m under no illusion that there’s a reason other than Rylan that’s responsible for their hesitation. He’s been a hot commodity at this little get together – he’s captured the attention of all of us.
Charlie is chewing his ear off about some surf spot down the coast, and to be honest I don’t even know if the man I’m dating knows how to surf or not, but if he doesn’t, he’s making a really good show of seeming interested in what my younger brother is telling him.
It warms my heart to watch.
August has been quiet tonight, and considering she usually talks more than anybody I’ve ever met, I’m slightly concerned that she’s unwell.
“Auggie.”
She’s watching our brother and Rylan talking with an inquisitive expression on her face – she doesn’t appear to be aware that I’ve even spoken.
“Auggie.”
I break her focus and she looks around, almost as though she’s forgotten where she is.
“Huh?”
“Are you alright? You’ve barely said a word all night.”
She shrugs and her gaze flickers back over to Rylan and Charlie before meeting mine. “I’m fine. I guess I’m just curious.”
“About Rylan?”
She nods. “He’s the man who saved your life…”
Technically it was Dr. White and her team who saved my life that day, but I know what she means – if it weren’t for his voice and his eyes, I’m not sure I would have had the strength to hold on and stay.
I hope I get the chance to tell him about it someday – to make him see all that he’s done for me before we ever even met.
I hope I get to make sense of it at some point too.
There’s no logical explanation as to why it was him I saw, but maybe one day it’ll all click into place.
I don’t know how it could, but since he came into my life for real, I feel like I don’t know anything for certain anymore, other than the fact that he’s here… and because of him, so am I.
Rylan
“Stay,” she whispers for the second time this evening.
Blush stains her cheeks as she asks her unspoken question.
“I mean it seems silly… I’m picking you up tomorrow anyway...”
I sweep a strand of hair off her forehead.
I’ve found myself at her front door once again, the two of us alone under the stars.
Her arms are wrapped around my waist, tugging me tight against her, while one of my hands is resting on the back of her neck, the other cupping her jaw.
I’m not sure I’ll ever tire of the feel of her mouth on mine. Even now, we’ve been apart only thirty seconds or so, and I’m already yearning for more.
“It does seem silly,” I murmur before brushing my lips ever so softly against hers again.
She sighs, a soft, breathy sound that I’m beginning to really love.
I want to stay, God do I want to stay here with her all night, but I won’t – that much I already know.
Not yet.
“Oh wow, I’ve just realised what I’ve implied…” Her face somehow manages to go a deeper shade of red. “I’m not talking about sex… I just thought we could sleep next to one another…”
I’m biting back a smile as she stumbles over her words, her nerves blindingly obvious.
“I’m digging myself a hole here; can you say something please?”
“Breathe, Violet.”
She nibbles on the corner of her lip and forces her eyes to meet mine.
She’s so beautiful
it pains me – she appeals to me in a way no woman ever has.
I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is about her that I find so intriguing, it’s not just her eyes, but the stories that they tell and the secrets they keep, it’s not just her lips, but the way they move and the seduction they exude. Every feature on her face is not only pretty, but filled with depth, knowledge and power too.
To top it all off, she’s got absolutely no comprehension of how stunning she is and that only adds to the appeal of her.
“I know you didn’t mean sex.” I grin at her, both because I’m amused and because I want her to relax.
I never considered for a second that she would be inviting me up to spend the night with her in that way – things might be moving fast, and I might already like her more than any woman I’ve ever dated, but neither of us is ready for that yet.
When that time does finally come, I’m going to make sure I do it the right way. I’ve got a pretty strong hunch that Violet isn’t equipped with a whole lot of knowledge on this particular topic, so I want to take things slow.
“And even though I can think of nothing more satisfying than having you fall asleep next to me, I think we should take a rain check, okay?”
“You’re such a gentleman,” she teases.
I might not have been this way my whole life, but she brings the chivalrous side out in me… she makes me want to say and do things that will sweep her off her feet.
“Can I make a confession?” I ask her.
She nods at me and smiles. Those gorgeous little dimples appear in her cheeks and for a second I can’t remember what it was I was planning to confess.
She raises her brows in question.
“These past few days, every moment I’m not with you… I’m wishing I was.”
She doesn’t say anything, but the huge smile on her face is enough of a reply for me.
She’s happy, really happy, and that’s when it hits me – If I never achieve another thing in this lifetime, then I would still die a satisfied man.
Leaving her just now was the hardest thing I’ve done in a long time.
Especially after meeting her family – they’re what a family should be… loving, warm and welcoming.
I’ve not been part of a family like that in a long time, but I truly felt as though I was tonight. They welcomed me with open arms and made me feel like I belonged there.
I hope I do belong there – right there with her.
Hanging out with her, Emmett and Lucy had been as easy as breathing. I can picture us as two couples, off in the distant future. We’re friends – we’re in each other’s lives constantly. The minute the image hits my mind I realise just how badly I want exactly that.
I want it all. Her family, her friends, but most importantly, I want her.
It would have been so easy to stay… to fall asleep with her in my arms, but I had to leave.
I know she’s beginning to trust me, I can see it in her eyes. Just the fact that she invited me into her home, let alone her bed tells me that.
But she hasn’t found the time to tell me about her heart yet – which means she doesn’t trust me entirely.
I’m more than aware it’s up to me to earn that trust from her.
Nothing comes free in this world and having faith in a person is probably the biggest testament to that.
She needs to understand I’m in this for a long time, not just a good time, and until she does, I’ll be kissing her goodnight at her front door and not between her sheets.
The fact that I was able to do it – that I found it within me to walk away from her when I so effortlessly could have stayed, has given me the strength to do something that I haven’t done in a long time.
I know it’s kind of creepy to visit a cemetery so late at night, but it’s been far too long since I was here, and I have a feeling I won’t be able to sleep a wink until I’ve done this.
I need to talk to my sister, and even though I live in the house she once called home, this is the only place that I seem to be able to feel close to her anymore.
It probably makes me appear crazy – coming to a ghost for advice, but I don’t have anywhere else to go.
My father’s been gone a long, long time. My mother doesn’t even recognise me anymore, and I don’t have a lot of friends left.
You spend three years drowning in grief, throwing yourself into your work and pushing people away, and eventually they stay there.
I learnt that the hard way.
There’s only so much you can do for someone that doesn’t want to help themselves, and while, on the outside, I might have appeared to be together and whole – I’ve actually been anything but.
Daisy was my rock, my sounding board and my best friend. Losing her destroyed me.
And she might be gone, but I still need her now.
I’d give anything to hear her voice again, even just one more time. I know that I won’t get to – that miracles like that don’t happen in real life, but it doesn’t stop me from wishing for it.
I want to tell her about Violet so badly it hurts.
I know she would have loved her. I don’t see how anybody couldn’t… she’s so pure, and sweet and good.
She’s so damn easy to love.
The realisation that I’m falling for her doesn’t scare me the way that I expected it would. My cold, black heart somehow still beats in rhythm and now it’s as though it’s beating just for her. Ever since she fell into my orbit I’ve felt a sense of purpose again.
I smile.
I laugh.
I’m enjoying my life – I’m actually living it.
No longer am I just floating through my days. I’m grounded and I’m feeling… I’m feeling things I’ve never felt before.
I approach the spot where my sister was laid to her final rest and I whisper into the darkness.
“I found her, Daisy… I think I’ve found the one.”
Violet
“The movies?” He guesses his approximately one hundredth wrong guess.
“Nope.” I shake my head. “You really are terrible at this, you know that, right?”
“You mean the aim of the game isn’t for me to get it repeatedly wrong?”
I haven’t told him that I’m only a volunteer at the animal shelter – not a paid employee, so I would imagine that’s why he hasn’t guessed it’s where we’re headed.
I’m really nervous about this entire day.
I’ve decided that today is the day I’m going to tell him about my heart.
I have to – it’s time.
I’m starting to feel things for him – real things that seem to be boarding the train headed for love.
I don’t know how he’s feeling about me, but if he’s even looking in the same direction as I am, then I need to tell him now before he gets in too deep.
It’s not fair to keep him in the dark. Even though life has dealt me a whole series of unfair cards, I still try my hardest to play that hand with respect and dignity – especially where people I care about are concerned, and he’s quickly become one of the people on that list.
“Well,” he announces. “I’m out of ideas.”
I giggle at his perplexed expression. My eyes trace over the curve of his lips as his face breaks into a cheeky grin.
I linger on his blue eyes, the same ones I still picture in my sleep most nights.
My dreams have shifted slightly, where before it was only his eyes and his voice that stayed with me; they’ve now evolved to include the smile that lights up those eyes, and the warmth of his hand in mine.
The man of my dreams has turned out to be exactly that, and I hope more than anything that he’ll still be that man after he learns the truth about me.
“We’re here.” I grin. “Do you think you might be able to figure it out now?”
He glances around out the window before spotting the sign and laughing – presumably at his own foolishness.
“You’re right. I really do suck
at this game.”
I eye him carefully. “If you’d rather do something else, we can—”
“I can’t think of anything else I’d rather do,” he cuts me off.
I beam at him. I’m glad he feels that way, because there’s nothing I’d rather be doing either.
“And this is Smokey, Fluffy and Socks.” I point into the enclosure housing three cats, one grey, one ginger and fluffy, and one black with white feet.
He raises his brow at me and smirks. “Original.”
I grin. He’s not wrong.
“Where did they all come from?” He glances around the large room where we keep all the cats.
I shrug. “Most of them get dumped, some are brought in hurt or unwell, some get taken from their owners… we do our best to fix them up, get them fed and healthy and then find them homes.”
He sticks his fingers through one of the gaps and Fluffy rubs up against him.
I can’t stop myself from smiling as I watch him scratching under the cat’s chin.
There’s just something incredibly attractive about a man who’s kind to animals.
“Don’t you just want to take them all away with you?”
“I have to talk myself out of it every time I leave,” I confess.
We stroll past a few more enclosures, heading out towards where they keep the dogs.
There’s someone special I want him to meet out there.
“Have you ever given in and taken one home?” He takes my hand in his and swings them between us as he asks.
“Once. I’ve got a cat, but he hates everyone.” I giggle.
He frowns at me. “Why’d you take him then?”
“I dunno. He’s just a real grumpy old thing. He hisses if you go near him… he would have been in here forever, and that just made me sad. All he does is sleep all the time, and he eats more than he should, but at least he has a home.”
I catch his eye and he’s looking at me like I’m something amazing.
I can feel the blush creeping onto my cheeks – it never fails to make an appearance whenever he’s around.
My Heart Wants (The Heart Duet Book 2) Page 6