by Joanna Neil
‘Not with those messy hands, we won’t.’ Sarah frowned, debating whether or not she ought to go and pay him a visit. Common sense told her that she should stay away because whenever she was near to him she found that she was drawn to him more and more. Her emotions were in chaos where he was concerned, and it was difficult enough working with him, let alone seeing him outside work.
It would be all too easy to get involved with him, but surely that would be playing with fire? How did she know whether or not she was free to be with him? How would she cope if she succumbed to her feelings for him and then someone else in her previous life turned up to say that they were man and wife?
Then again, Ben was her neighbour, and it was natural for neighbours to drop by one another’s houses, wasn’t it? How much harm could it do to pay him a visit? Besides, hadn’t she made that last batch of flapjacks with him in mind?
‘We’ll go and see if he’s at home,’ she told Emily, ‘but you mustn’t get upset if he’s had to go out.’ She paused. ‘And we had better clean you up a bit before we go anywhere.’
A few minutes later, she was knocking on Ben’s door, huddling under his porch with Emily in order to escape from the worst of the downpour.
‘You look like a pair of drowned rats,’ Ben said, opening the door. ‘Come on in.’
‘I wasn’t sure whether or not you would have to go to work today,’ Sarah said, stepping into the hallway. She shrugged off her jacket and then freed Emily from her plastic raincoat. Ben took the garments from them and hung them up in a small cloakroom to dry. ‘Emily wanted to bring you a present,’ Sarah told him. ‘She made it herself this morning.’
‘Did you?’ Ben looked at Emily with wide eyes. ‘I’m honoured.’
‘I maked it, and Mummy put it in the oven, and then I painted it,’ Emily said. ‘It’s a bird and a star.’
By now they were in Ben’s large kitchen, and Ben opened up the treasure that had been carefully wrapped up for him in kitchen towel. ‘It’s a beautiful orange bird,’ he said in wonder. ‘Is that your favourite colour?’
Emily nodded vigorously. ‘The star has lots of colours.’ She held the dough creations aloft. ‘See? Bird’s flying up to the star.’
‘So he is. These are lovely. Thank you for that, Emily.’ He crouched down to her level and gave her a hug. ‘I shall put them on my special shelf, where I shall be able to see them every day.’
Emily gave him a big smile.
‘My offering is nothing by comparison,’ Sarah said, handing him the tin of flapjacks. ‘I made too many, and I remembered that you liked them.’
‘You’ve been trying out the Aga again, haven’t you?’ He grinned. ‘Thank you. We’ll have some now, shall we, with a hot drink?’
Emily nodded. ‘Flapjacks is yummy,’ she said. ‘Mummy maked them ’cos I telled her.’
‘Oh, well, then, I should say thank you to you as well, shouldn’t I?’
Emily returned his smile, but she obviously had other things on her mind. ‘Can I play with the little horse and the wishing well in there?’ She pointed to a room that Ben used as a study. It could be seen easily through the glass door that opened into it from the hall.
Sarah had seen the room when she’d come to visit briefly with Emily on another occasion, when a ball the little girl had been playing with had gone over into his garden.
There was a polished golden oak desk in the study, with matching filing cabinets, along with bookshelves and a bureau, and in one part of the room Ben had set out model sailing ships and various nautical items. He had a ship’s sextant made of brass, along with a ship’s compass, both of them polished to a gleaming finish. On another shelf there were a number of small brass ornaments that had caught Emily’s attention.
‘Yes, I’ll get them down for you.’ He gave her a smile. ‘I expect you want to turn the handle and lift the bucket out of the well, don’t you?’
‘Yes, and the horse can drink from the bucket.’
Sarah’s eyes widened. ‘Are you quite sure you know what you’re doing?’ she asked Ben in a low voice as he walked into the room and started to reach for the ornaments. ‘Didn’t you tell me that some of the things in here are prized possessions, handed down in the family? As far as I know, Emily’s less than three years old, and you’re taking a big risk letting her play with them.’
‘She can’t do much harm, and the model ships and navigation equipment are out of reach. Of course the sextant and ship’s compass are definitely items to treasure. My ancestors have something of a tradition of sailing on the high seas.’
She looked at him curiously. ‘Did you never feel that you wanted to follow in their footsteps?’
‘I can’t say that I ever did, although one of my ancestors was a ship’s surgeon, so I suppose there’s a bit of a connection there. For myself, I’ve always preferred to keep my feet firmly on dry land.’ He handed the ornaments down to Emily, who sat down contentedly on the carpet and began to fill her world with horses and imaginary people.
‘I was wondering about that,’ Sarah said. ‘The dry land, I mean. Only when I was listening to the local news this morning they were saying that the floods are causing problems for people not too far away from here, and I didn’t know whether you would be called out. I know some people have to be evacuated from their houses, and there were reports of some elderly residents who were housebound and needing medical attention.’
‘It’s possible. I suppose there might be a call for the cave rescue team to go out if there are floods underground, and I’m on call with them today. People usually avoid going down into the caves when the weather reports are bad but, you never know, under conditions like these, the rescuers will need all the help they can get. I suppose it’s possible that potholers could go underground in dry conditions and meet up with the overflow from a subterranean stream.’ He glanced at her briefly. ‘Don’t look so alarmed. I won’t ask you to go with me. I know that you have to take care of Emily.’
Sarah made a face. ‘It isn’t just that. I don’t think I like being near water.’ She gave a faint shudder. ‘I have a bad feeling about it whenever I see huge flood plains.’
He gave her an assessing look. ‘You said the same about caves until you went down there. Anyway, no one likes being caught up in a flood situation.’
He led her towards the kitchen. ‘I’ll make some tea, and we can keep an eye on Emily through the glass doors.’
‘OK.’ She smiled. ‘Though I expect she’ll come running in soon enough when she hears the flapjack tin being opened.’
His kitchen was larger than any she had seen, but it was separated into different areas by clever use of an island cupboard unit and a breakfast bar. All the units were made of wood, finished in a soft eau de nil colour, with glass fronts that allowed for displays of crockery and glassware. The floor was beautifully finished with ceramic tiles that contrasted warmly with the pale colour scheme.
Everything was clean and inviting, and when he showed her to a seat in the dining area at one end of the kitchen, she discovered that she could look out over part of the garden through wide French doors.
‘Have you had any more flashbacks?’ he asked, pushing a mug of tea in her direction.
‘Nothing major,’ she said. ‘A few isolated pictures of family life, but nothing that gives me any clue as to who I am. I’m beginning to think I might originally have come from hereabouts, though, because some of the places we’ve passed through on the calls we’ve attended have seemed vaguely familiar to me—so perhaps that was what my journey here was all about.’
‘Coming back to your roots, you mean?’
‘Something like that.’
His expression was serious. ‘Have you had any more thoughts about who Emily’s father might be?’
‘No, I haven’t. Emily seems to remember him. She doesn’t talk about him very much, and when she does, it’s usually something like, “Daddy tucked me up in bed,” or, “Daddy gived me teddy bear.”’ She sig
hed. ‘I keep hoping that a picture of him will come into my mind, or that I’ll remember where I was living before I moved here.’
Ben was silent for a moment, his mouth taking on a sombre line, but she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Then he said, ‘You’ll have to go on being patient. Small things are coming back to you, and that’s a really good sign.’ He frowned, and studied her for a while longer. ‘The head injury was probably enough to cause profound memory loss initially, but it may be that something happened before the injury that made you want to blot out the past.’
‘So you’re saying that it’s psychological?’
‘In part, possibly. Added to that, it can’t have helped that you came to live in a different area from where you had been living before, because it means that you have none of the associations that other people in similar circumstances would have been able to rely on.’
Sarah braced herself to ask the question that was worrying her most of all. ‘Do you think there’s a cut-off point where my memory would never return?’
He shook his head. ‘The fact that you lost your memory for several months would usually mean that it wasn’t likely that you would recover, but given that you’ve had some instances of flashback, and that there might have been some psychological trauma to contend with, I’d say you could still hope to recall a good deal of what went before.’
She was quiet for a moment, absorbing that. Finally, she said, ‘That’s good…I think.’ What could have happened that had been so bad she didn’t want to go back there in her mind?
He ran a hand lightly down her arm in a gesture of compassion. ‘You’re strong, Sarah, and you have a remarkable sense of self-preservation. You’ve shown tremendous spirit, pushing yourself to take on new challenges, and you’ve even managed to make a happy home for Emily, despite what she must have been through, so you have to take some comfort from that. You’re one of life’s survivors.’
He would have said more, but his phone began to ring, and he moved away from her to go and answer it. From his expression, she could see that it was not good news.
‘I have to go out,’ he said, coming back to her after he had cut the call. ‘It’s as I said. It appears that some people are late returning from a caving expedition, and there’s a chance that their exit might have been cut off underground. We have to go and try to get them out before the water level rises too far.’ He looked tense at the prospect and Sarah felt for him and for the plight of the cavers.
‘You won’t take any risks, will you? I mean, you’ll make sure that you always have a clear way out?’ Anxiety shimmered through her.
‘Of course.’ He smiled, aiming to reassure her, but she knew it wouldn’t be as simple as that.
‘Please, be careful,’ she said. What would she do if anything bad happened to him? She couldn’t bear the thought.
‘I will.’
He went to get ready, and Sarah gathered up Emily and told her that it was time for them to go home. Part of her wanted to go with him, but part of her felt a dread and frustration at the thought of being pinned down and overwhelmed by fast-flowing water. She couldn’t explain it, even to herself, but the fear was there, gnawing at her.
Throughout the rest of the day she fretted, waiting to hear the sound of Ben’s car returning, and she watched the local news intently whenever there was a snippet to be had on television.
By early evening, he still hadn’t returned, and Sarah’s nerves were reaching crisis point. Was there some way she could go in search of him? But Carol was away, and she didn’t know anyone who she could call on to babysit.
Defeated, she contemplated putting Emily to bed, but just as she was about to gather her up for her evening bath, her phone rang.
She knew a quick sense of relief. Was Ben calling her to say that he was on his way home?
It wasn’t Ben on the line, though, and Sarah’s spirits plummeted. It was Jennifer who was calling, and she sounded anxious.
‘Sarah, I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m worried about Ben. He rang me earlier to say that he might not be able to come round, that he had to go out. He said he would let me know when he was home, but I’ve heard nothing. Do you know if he’s back yet?’
‘I’m sorry. I haven’t heard from him either, Jennifer. It might be that the rescue is taking longer than they expected, especially if someone is injured.’
‘That’s just it,’ Jennifer said. ‘I know that those people were brought out some time ago, because I have a friend whose nephew was one of those who were trapped, and she rang me to tell me. They’re being transported to hospital now, but most of the roads thereabouts are flooded.’
‘Perhaps he stopped off somewhere to relax for an hour or so on the way home. He could be with friends.’
‘Then he would have called me. I can’t help feeling that something’s wrong. I’ve been listening to the news on the radio, and they’re saying all sorts of things about floods in the region where Ben might be. There’s talk of cars being swept away, and people being trapped. I’m really worried that something might have happened to him.’
Sarah could understand her concern. She had been thinking the very same thing. ‘I wish I could go and see for myself what’s happening, maybe even lend a hand, but I have Emily with me, and I can’t take her over to Carol’s house because she’s gone to visit relatives for the weekend.’
‘You could bring her over to me, if you like. I’ll look after her for you…as long as you promise me you won’t get yourself into any danger. All you would need to do would be to ask the emergency service people if they know anything.’
‘Yes, but you’re not well enough to take on the burden,’ Sarah said. ‘I could see for myself the other day that your breathing is still not right.’
‘I’m really very much better,’ Jennifer told her. ‘Besides, I expect Emily will be about ready to settle down for the night, won’t she? I have a bed in the guest room where she could sleep, and I’m sure she’ll be fine if you bring some of her toys along with her.’
Sarah’s mind raced as she thought it through. It was true that Emily was sleepy, and if she were to leave her for just an hour or two, Jennifer wouldn’t come to any great harm through looking after her, would she?
‘All right, if you’re sure that you will be able to manage,’ she said.
‘I’m sure.’
Emily thought it was a great adventure to be going along to Jennifer’s house. ‘See Nana Jenny?’ she said, and Sarah felt a brief tug at her insides at the innocent reference.
‘Yes,’ she murmured, ‘but you must promise me that you’ll be good for Jenny. She’s been poorly.’
‘I be good,’ Emily said solemnly. Then she smiled. ‘She give me biscuits, and I play with her dollies.’
Sarah left her in Jennifer’s care some half an hour later, and drove to the place where she thought Ben was most likely to be.
None of the emergency service personnel who were still directing operations near to the cave rescue site had any idea where he might be. ‘You say he was wearing a medic’s outfit?’ a policeman said.
Sarah nodded. ‘He went out with the cave rescue team.’
‘They’ve all gone by now,’ the officer said. ‘We’re just here to post warning signs in place. The last I saw of them, they were headed back to where the cars were parked, over on the rise. If he came in his own car, and not in the rescue van, then that’s where he would have been.’
‘Yes, he did.’ She had phoned the leader of the rescue team before she’d set out, and he’d assured her that Ben had begun to make his own way home. But that had been some time ago.
Sarah looked where the officer indicated. The parking area was situated well clear of the floods, and she guessed that the road up there would lead them away from any danger areas.
‘I’ll go and take a closer look,’ she murmured.
She went back to her car and drove towards the higher level, but when she reached the parking area, she could see that Ben�
��s car wasn’t there.
What could have happened to him? She rummaged in the glove compartment for her map, and checked the routes that he might have taken. Was it possible that he would have inadvertently chosen to return via a road that was under floodwater? Surely that must have been the case, or why wasn’t he home already?
Sarah was becoming more concerned as time went by. He might not have thought to ring her and let her know where he was, but he would have given Jennifer a call, if only to stop her from worrying.
She put the map away and began to drive off in the direction that she thought Ben might have taken. There was meadowland on either side, and the river cut through the hills some distance away.
Some twenty minutes or so later, she realised that things were beginning to look really bad. The river was closer to the road now, and she could see that there was a bridge spanning it at one point, but the water level had almost reached the highest point of the bridge.
Up ahead, the river had burst its banks and water spilled out over the road. Debris floated on its surface, branches, leaves, and straw from the fields. Cars had been abandoned, and some further along the road were beginning to shift as the torrent tried to carry them with it. She came across a rescue vehicle, set back on dry ground, clear of the flood plain, and she decided to park her car behind it. Then she stepped out and went to investigate.
It was raining once more, and the droplets lashed at her, stinging her face and causing her hair to curl into damp tendrils. She was wearing a pair of knee-length boots that she hoped might serve to keep out some of the wet, and she pulled her jacket tightly round her, but she soon realised that it wasn’t the dampness that she had to fear. It was the sheer force of the water that pounded her legs that gave her most cause for concern as she tried to wade through the turbulent stream. Added to that, the noise of the raging river was frightening, a deafening sound, like a high wind storming through the trees.
She hoped that nobody was in the cars, but as she approached, she saw that there were men wearing luminous jackets deployed at various points along the flooded road. They appeared to be helping people, moving them back towards drier ground.