Desperate (Harris Trilogy Book One)

by Teresa Greene

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, Myra, I’m fine.”

  Alone in her room she fell onto her bed. She pressed her face into her pillow and cried. She hated herself for falling in love with a man that did not love her. How could she have been so naïve? Two nights of passion would be the only thing they would ever share.

  ****

  Even though she had much to do, Myra tapped down her impatience and took a sip of her tea. Abigail lived a pampered life and would probably stay most of the day. The thought of having to entertain her had her biting her lower lip.

  Watching Myra over her glass as she sipped, Abigail asked, “How do you know Kate?”

  “Her mother and I were friends long ago. She is staying for several days. I am enjoying her company. She is very sweet.”

  Jealousy showed on Abigail’s face. It was apparent she felt threatened by Kate. “What happened to her hair? It would be much prettier if it wasn’t so short.”

  Myra couldn’t believe Abigail’s cruelty at times. It boggled her mind how David could enjoy her company. “I love her short hair. It is adorable on her.”

  With a quick change of the subject, Abigail stated, “Let’s talk about my wedding.” She curled a lock of hair around her finger, and squirmed with excitement. “I have ordered white silk from Paris for my dress.”

  Inside Myra groaned. She thought Abigail selfish to be planning a wedding during such trying times. Never did she speak of the horrors of war, or mention that people in the South were strapped for money. She only thought about herself. Total opposites, she worried Abigail would make David miserable after they married.

  However, her son was responsible for his own life so she never questioned him about his decision to propose to Abigail. Still she couldn’t understand his attraction to someone so petty and selfish.

  ****

  Mike saluted David as soon as he entered his office. Moving away from the maps strewn across his desk, he faced Mike eager to hear Kate arrived at his parents’ plantation safely. “At ease, soldier.” Not wanting to sound too eager, he attempted to keep his tone calm. “I take it everything went well?”

  “Yes sir, Private Monroe is settled in at Harris Plantation, and your mother has welcomed her with open arms.”

  The relief showed on David’s face. “As I knew she would.” He moved back to the maps and studied them for a moment. Seems Mike had something on his mind because he just stood there watching him. “Hot coffee’s on the table. Pour you a cup.”

  “No, thank you.” Bluntly, Mike asked, “Can we speak as friends, David?”

  “Sure Mike, speak your mind.” In his gut he knew what Mike wanted to ask.

  He took a long steady breath. “I would like to know your intentions toward Kate.”

  David quirked his brow, and inquired, “What did Kate tell you about our relationship?”

  “Nothing, I know she is in love with you. A person would have to be blind not to see it. I told her she was wasting her time mooning after you because you were marrying Abigail.”

  David shot him a single hard look. “Not that it is any of your business Mike, but I asked to her to be my mistress.”

  Mike raised a questioning brow, and asked, “What did she say to that unsavory offer?”

  “She told me to go to hell.”

  “I’m glad she has some pride. She is a spitfire, isn’t she?”

  “What is your interest here, Mike?” David did not like Mike butting into his affairs.

  “I would like to court her after the war. I have come to admire her courage and spirit. I just wanted to make sure you are okay with my intentions to pursue Kate.”

  Unable to hide his anger, he stepped closer to Mike, fists clenched as his sides. “Have you touched her?”

  “Of course not, I now know she is a lady. I will treat her with respect and my feelings are completely honorable.”

  “I’ve seen how honorable you are. You would have raped her if I had not intervened. Under the circumstances, I feel you should keep your distance from Kate.” David took a deep breath to control his anger.

  Mike replied in disgust, “I had no idea she was a lady. I felt only an unchaste woman would dress as a man and join the war. I feel terrible and know she may never forgive me but I will try to make it up to her. I made a terrible mistake.”

  “Stay away from her,” David hissed through clenched teeth.

  “You compromised her didn’t you? That’s why you want me to leave her alone. You took her innocence and now you think she belongs to you.” Mike’s expression was growing darker.

  “That’s none of your business.” David moved back to the table of papers. “The interrogation is over.” Angrily pointing toward the door, he shouted, “Get out.”

  “You have no hold on Kate. I don’t care how you feel. I’m going to pursue her after the war is over. Don’t forget you are engaged to Abigail. You can’t have them both.” He stormed out of David’s quarters slamming the door behind him.

  God, he was steaming mad. He couldn’t tolerate the thought of another man touching Kate. Fury bubbled under his skin as he raked all the papers onto the floor. It would take some persuasion on his part, but she would become his mistress.

  Chapter Eight

  Bob Lewis walked into his study to find Jeb Slade, the Pinkerton Agent he hired to find Kate, sitting on his sofa, a cigar bobbing up and down on the tips of his lips. The always present six guns belted at his waist was evidence he was no more than a hired gun. A pricy hired gun, but then he was the best at what he did. Not one for small talk, Bob got right down to business. “Do you have any information for me?”

  Slade removed the cigar from his mouth and placed it in the ashtray on Bob’s desk. “No, it is as if she disappeared right off the face of the earth. I have asked all over town and no one has seen a young woman of Miss Monroe’s description in town. No one has seen her board a train or the stage coach.”

  Bob handed Jeb a snifter of brandy and sat across from him in his leather chair. He rubbed his temples as if he had a headache. “Could one of our neighbors have taken her in? Mrs. Johnston did ask Kate to come and stay with her so she would not be alone,” Bob inquired.

  “No, I considered she might ask one of your surrounding neighbors for assistance. She is not with one of your neighbors.” Tapping his finger against his glass, Jeb added, “I did uncover a grandfather in Richmond. He has a huge plantation and is a very wealthy man, but she didn’t go to him for help. In fact she has never seen him. Roy Talbert is her grandfather from her mother’s side. He disowned Miss Monroe’s mother when she married his overseer against his wishes.”

  Bob thought of Kate somewhere all alone. Without money how would she survive? It would be difficult for a young woman without funds to just up and leave. It was imperative he find her before something terrible happened to her. She was much too young to be on her on, and the concern that someone might take advantage of her made his chest ache.

  “I don’t think she would go to her grandfather for help. Kate is very proud and stubborn. That would be the last place she would seek help. Keep asking questions. She will have to turn up sometime, somewhere.” Bob’s eyes flashed with anger. “If you want the rest of your money, find her.”

  Puzzled, Jeb asked, “Why is this woman so special that you are willing to pay me a small fortune to find her?” He leaned back on the sofa, and swirled the amber liquid in his glass. He reached over the desk and grabbed the cigar. He took several puffs, blowing the smoke in the air.

  Nasty habit thought Bob. The man smoked them like a baby sucks its mother’s breast. Of course Jeb really wanted to ask, why was he searching for a woman who obviously did not want him to find her? “I am compelled to do the right thing. I feel responsible for her. All her family has perished and she has no one to care for her. It’s really none of your concern anyway. You are getting paid to do a job, not to ask questions.”

  Both men became quiet when Tilley entered with a tray of sc
ones and coffee. She sat the tray on the table and hurried toward the door. Before she could get to the door, Bob asked, “Would you please serve us, Tilley?”

  When she visibly shuddered, he smiled. He loved the power and control he had over her. He became hard seeing the fear in her eyes. The way she pleaded for him to leave her alone each night he took her to his bed gave him power and pleasure. He shook the vision from his mind. Now was not the time to be fantasizing. He needed to find Kate.

  Tilley filled a cup with coffee and handed it to Bob. When she poured Jeb’s, her hand trembled. Eyes downcast, she did her best not to make eye contact. She handed Jeb his cup, and his fingers touched hers causing her to spill some of the coffee when she instinctively recoiled.

  Jeb never took his eyes off her backside as she stooped to the floor and wiped up the coffee. Bob gave her a playful swat on her bottom causing Jeb to laugh out loud. Humiliated, she ran from the room.

  Jeb replied as he balanced his saucer on his lap, “She is a fine looking slave. I wouldn’t mind having some private time with her.”

  “As soon as I know she is carrying my baby you can have her all you want. I just don’t want any children running around here with your ugly face.”

  Eyes full of lust, he asked, “How is she in bed?”

  “She’s still a little high and mighty.” He let out a half laugh as he took a bite of a scone. Mouth full, he bragged, “She’ll learn her place.” One part of him hoped she never would bend to his will. Part of the allure was rape, the forcing her to do what he wanted.

  ****

  Kate had been at Harris Plantation for one week. She loved the beautiful grounds, riding Betsy across the gorgeous countryside, but most of all she loved all her new friends. Myra treated her as if she were her daughter. In fact Kate thought of Myra like a mother. She was warm, compassionate, and sweet. She treated everyone around her with respect, even the slaves.

  Kate helped Edward with the bookkeeping of the plantation. Since Dana, David’s younger sister, was still away at school, Edward had to take over the chore. She had always been good with numbers and enjoyed the task.

  Amazed at how quick she took to the chore, Edward gladly relinquished the books. Besides he had always hated the paper work. He would rather be in the fields overseeing the maintenance of cotton and tobacco. His life was much simpler since Kate came to stay at Harris Plantation.

  Annie and Lizzy were kind and caring too. Myra and Edward were now her family. Kate no longer thought of leaving to find employment. It was as if she had found her place in life.

  Myra had hired a seamstress to sew a whole new wardrobe of riding habits and a few day dresses. She owed Myra so much. Never would she be able to pay back all the money David’s mother had spent on her.

  When Kate complained about the expense, Edward said she deserved every cent spent. Even though it stung her pride, she loved her new clothes. She could get accustomed to the lavish lifestyle she now lived.

  Time for her morning ride, she went in search of Myra. She found her in the parlor by the window reading a letter. “Are you ready for our ride?”

  “After I finish reading my letters.” Happiness showed on her face. “I received one from David and Doyle.” She reached into her pocket and handed her a letter. “You have a letter from David.”

  Myra raised an eyebrow at her when she grabbed the letter as if it was a biscuit and she was starving. Realizing her behavior was making Myra curious, Kate apologized. “I’m sorry, Myra. I haven’t had a letter since my brother wrote when he was fighting in the war. Please forgive my exuberance.”

  “It’s okay, Kate. I forgive you.” Attention back on the letter she was reading she smiled as her eyes scanned the words written by her son.

  Kate wanted to read her letter in the privacy of her room. “I’ll be right back, Myra. I forgot something in my room.” Anxious to read her letter, she took the stairs two at a time. She fell on the bed and ripped open the envelope.

  Dear Kate,

  I hope you are being treated well at Harris Plantation. I know mom is enjoying your company.

  The battles are getting more intense. Some we win, some we lose. Too many of my men have perished. Some are only boys who will never feel their mothers’ or wives’ arms around them ever again.

  I hate to inform you that Jackson died of pneumonia eight days after his arm was amputated at Chancellorsville. The surgeons did all they could to save him but his wounds were too severe.

  I didn’t write to impose my foul mood on you. I will write frequently to let you know how the battles are progressing. Since you saw with your own eyes the consequences of war, I’m sure you would like to be informed of what is happening. As of now the North has the upper hand. We are using every tactic possible to win the war. I hope it will end soon with the South being the successor.

  Kate, I know we did not part on friendly terms, but I want you to know I think of you often. In fact I find it hard to concentrate because you slip into my thoughts and dreams. I hope you will forgive me for taking your innocence. I wish I could go back to our night together, and rectify my mistake. My behavior was reprehensible and I am so sorry and beg for your forgiveness. I hope I can see you the next time I am in Richmond. Please write so I will know you are no longer angry with me.

  Sincerely, David

  She felt his pain through his letter. Not able to hold back the tears, she cried for Stonewall Jackson, for all the young men and boys who had lost their lives, and for David who was feeling guilty for leading so many of his men to their deaths. Sitting on her bed clutching the letter as if it were her most prized possession, she jumped when someone knocked on the door.

  “Kate, is everything okay? Are you ready to go for our ride?”

  “I’ll be right down, Myra.” She hurried to the basin, and washed the tears from her face. She didn’t want Myra to suspect she was in love with David.

  Before she entered the parlor, she took several deep breaths to try to compose her emotions. The second Myra saw her, she asked, “Are you okay, Kate? You look a little flushed. Did something in David’s letter upset you?”

  “I’m fine, Myra. I can tell David is filled with agony because of the loss of so many of his men. I could feel his pain and it upset me.”

  Suspicious of her relationship with David, Myra offered, “Kate, I hope you are not enamored with David. He is engaged to be married to Abigail. I hope he made that clear to you.” She stood and crossed the room. She took her hand and squeezed. “The last thing I would want to happen is for you to get your heart broken.”

  “No, Myra. We are only friends. I will always be beholding to him for not sending me home. I feel I owe him my life. For that alone I am eternally grateful.”

  She was going to have to be more careful. Myra was already suspicious of her feelings for David. If Myra found out she was in love with him, it would probably harm their relationship.

  ****

  Three months had passed since Kate’s arrival at Harris Plantation. She felt so at home, she did not ever want to leave. At the desk in Edward’s office working on the finance books, Kate looked up when Myra barged into the room.

  “Kate, you won’t believe what I just received.” She fanned a white card with silver letters through the air. “We are invited to a ball to raise funds for Richmond’s Chimborazo Hospital. They need money for medical supplies for the hundreds of injured troops being admitted daily. You are going to your first ball.” Excited, she skipped across the floor, and propped a hip against the edge of the desk. “David will be there and so will the other officers. I have not seen him since Christmas.”

  At the mention of David’s name her heart began to race. Remembering her two nights of making love with David, Kate’s face became heated.

  Myra leaned over and placed her hand on her forehead. “Are you okay? You look a little flushed.”

  “I’m fine. It’s just hot in here.”

  A woman on a mission, Myra’s eyes sparkled with
pleasure. “We have to get you fitted for a ball gown. Get ready and we’ll make a trip into town and see my seamstress.” She was wound up as she chatted happily about the ball.

  Kate didn’t hear half of what she said. In her mind, all she could think about was what it would take to convince David to marry her instead of Abigail. She wasn’t ready to give up on the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

  ****

  Looking at her reflection in the full length mirror, Kate smiled. She was getting the finishing touches on her ball gown. The royal blue silk Myra had chosen was absolutely gorgeous. The décolletage was low showing too much of her breasts. She couldn’t get accustomed to low cut dresses. What would her father and mother say if they could see her in the daring dress?

  Guilt swirled in her stomach as she thought of the money Myra spent for the dress. The money would have fed her and her family for a year. She pushed the thought from her mind. Instead of being melancholy, she should be ecstatic to have such a fine dress.

  “The color is perfect for you.” Mrs. Robinson, the seamstress mumbled, her mouth full of pins.

  “Thank you. I love it.” Gathered under the bodice, the dress flowed seductively around her hips and legs. The royal blue enhanced her rosy complexion. Kate thought it was the most beautiful dress.

  “Hello, Kate.” Abigail’s sweet, syrupy voice revolted her on every level.

  “Do you really think royal blue is a proper color for someone your young age? In my opinion a softer color would be more appropriate, maybe a light pink.”

  Kate couldn’t believe her bad luck. Every time she saw Abigail, something inside her wanted to explode and burst out. She thought of herself as being sophisticated, but Kate felt she was a snob. The woman was two years her senior, but acted as if her age gave her a sense of worldliness. She couldn’t tolerate to be near her.