“I know a place no one goes. It’s sorta like my getaway. Wanna check it out?”
I nodded, raising my arm and allowing her to link hers with me. “Sure.”
We ended up at a pond. It wasn’t very big, but there was a bench, proving maybe other people did come around this area… people that knew about it. Since we didn’t eat at the restaurant, we got our food to go. While we chowed down on our burgers and Cokes, Rosemarie went on about how annoying her brother was and how he wanted so badly to be in the mafia. He was only seventeen and wanted to drop out of school just to follow in his dad’s footsteps.
“I think it’s a bad idea,” Rosemarie said, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “I mean, my dad usually gives us what we want, and if he sees that Rocky really wants to be a major part of Red Round, he’ll let him in, no questions asked. He does need an heir, after all. Someone to carry on his name and legacy. I just… Rocky is the only person besides me that isn’t a part of that group. My mom would hate for him to be a part of it.”
“Why doesn’t she stop him?” I asked.
She turned her head a little further so I couldn’t see her face, but I could feel it. The sudden gloom that’d just taken over her emotions. And then I realized maybe I wasn’t supposed to ask that.
“Damn it, I’m sorry,” I whispered, grabbing her shoulder. I pulled her in close, internally cursing at myself for touching the subject. I guess this proved why she seemed so… independent. Her mom wasn’t around. She didn’t have a woman to look up to. She only had herself, and I knew shit like that was tough. I was going through the same thing. We were similar in some ways.
“She was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Daddy regrets the hell out of it. It’s why he doesn’t take me with him when he goes out of town anymore. Ever since she was shot, he’s made a rule that none of us will travel with him. Not even Rocky… well, not until Rocky is older. He has men in the house constantly. They can never let their guards down.”
That sucked. “Well, that’s a good thing. At least he still cares for your safety.” I hesitated a moment. “I’m… sorry about your mom.”
“Yeah. Don’t worry about it.” She shrugged, looking up into my eyes. She circled an arm around my waist, and I stiffened, but as she placed the side of her head on my chest, I eased up a bit.
Leaning my back against the bench, I stared ahead at the pond. Silence took over, but this time, it wasn’t awkward. I wasn’t certain whether she was reminiscing or if she was just enjoying her time, but either way, she was at ease, and it brought me relief.
“It’s really easy to be around you, Roy,” she whispered. She pulled away to sit up and look into my eyes. I swallowed the brick in my throat as her diamond-like eyes stared straight into mine. The way she stared at me made me do something I normally wouldn’t have done. I placed the palm of my hand on her cheek, running my thumb across the pad of her cheekbone. She sighed a little and shut her eyes, but I continued staring at her… watching her. The wind howled, and I moved my hand toward her ear. A smile caressed her lips as I brought my hand up and ran my fingers across the edges of her hair.
Licking my lips, I slid in closer—so close I could feel her breathing on me. Not only was she panting, but so was I. My breaths were labored. I was working hard to keep hold of my control, but when she opened her eyes, my control was nowhere to be found. I glided my hand across her bare thigh, and her plush lips parted.
“Roy,” she whispered.
“Hmm?”
“I… can’t…”
“Why not?” I tucked a tendril of hair behind her ear and stared at her lips. She sank her teeth into her bottom lip and reached up to brush my hair away from my eyes, slowly dragging her fingers along my jaw. I tensed, and she smiled, leaning in more. We were chest to chest, breathing heavily, rigidly. The sexual tension between us was thick, massive, and I wanted to break it.
So I did.
I took the last inch in and crushed her lips with my own. She moaned into my mouth as I slid my tongue across her upper lip. She clawed at my shirt, eagerly making her way on top of my lap. Locking my hands around her petite face, I continued tasting her, going for what I wanted all day and night. This first kiss was all I could think about, and it was nothing short of perfection. My cock was waiting to break through, ready to take her here on this bench. I placed my hands on her shoulders and slid the black cardigan down, revealing a glimpse of her creamy skin. Her lips remained glued to mine as she threaded her fingers through my hair, moving up and down, wanting more and more. She wore a dress, and I slipped my fingers beneath it—and then it hit me.
And she grinned mischievously.
She wasn’t wearing any panties.
Fuck. What could be hotter than that?
She was already wet, already ready. She wanted me. I couldn’t believe it. I wanted her, too, but I didn’t want to take her here. She was worth a bedroom. Worth a roof above us at least. I couldn’t fuck her on a bench in front of a dirty pond. No. Rosemarie was different, and I wanted to treat her differently, like nobody else. We had a connection, and I didn’t want to break it by making a mistake... something she would soon regret. She was just in the heat of the moment. She wasn’t controlling herself or her emotions anymore. She’d let go, but I wanted her to grab hold of herself again.
“Rosemarie…” I grunted as she grazed her teeth across my bottom lip. My cock pulsed and poked at the zipper of my dark jeans… shit she’s good. “Rosemarie… we should stop,” I said, grabbing her by the hips. I leaned back to prevent her next kiss.
She tried going for it, but then frowned when she couldn’t place her mouth on mine. “Why? Isn’t this what you want? What all those compliments and all that kindness was for?”
I narrowed my eyes. “What—no!”
“Roy, I’m not an idiot. I may be a girl, but I know how guys think. I live with a group of them, remember?” She sat back, glaring down at me,
“But it doesn’t mean I’m like any of them.”
“Oh, please.” She climbed off my lap and pulled her cardigan back on her shoulders. “You deliver drugs, Roy. You’re a musician… you’re hot. You’re everything a girl would want. How can you possibly be any different?”
I stood with her, taking a step in. She was no longer looking at me. Confused, I took another step in and cupped her face with my hands. Miserable, watery eyes met mine. “Let me prove it,” I whispered against her lips.
“How?” she whispered back.
“We’ll keep spending time together. We’ll do whatever you want. Yes, I’d love to have sex with you, Rosemarie—” she frowned and started to pull away, “but if you think that’s all I want from you, then you’re wrong. You have me all wrong.” I tightened my grip around her face. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’ve been thinking about you—how I’ve been looking forward to this date ever since meeting you. I know we’ve just met each other, and you may not believe me, but I feel like if I don’t take things slow with you, I’ll regret it. I already have too many regrets. I don’t want you to become one of them.”
Her face was blank, her jaw lowered, and her mouth formed into a small “o”. She was speechless, and seeing her speechless made me feel victorious at something. It meant she was thinking about it—that she couldn’t believe this was how I really felt about her. It was crazy how we’d just met, yet I felt like I’d known her for a pretty long time.
I placed a sweet kiss on her lips, my hands still clasped around her face. “Just because I compliment you doesn’t mean I only wanna fuck and leave you. I’m not like the other jackasses you dated. I’m different. I’m Roy. Kay?”
She nodded quickly and whispered, “Kay.” She then pulled away gently, but she grabbed my hand and linked fingers with me. “I’ll hold you to that, Roy.”
“You think I’ll let you down?” I asked, smiling.
“Everyone else has.”
I sighed, bringing her knuckles to my lips. This girl had a few trust is
sues, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t get over. I would make a way to get her to trust me if I had to. I kissed each one of her knuckles and stared deep into her eyes.
“I’m not everyone else. And while we spend time together, I want you to remember that. I won’t do anything you’re not ready for. I won’t do anything to make you think twice about me. That’s my word.”
She grinned up at me, her pearly white teeth sparkling from the moonlight above. I pulled her in for a hug, taking in her warm, sugary vanilla scent. I was getting myself into something new.
Something different.
Something dangerous.
But at this moment, as I held her in my embrace and she held me back, I knew what I’d gotten myself into would be worth it… well, that’s what I assumed anyway. I wanted it to be worth it, but that didn’t mean it would be. Little did I know things between us would end up changing sooner rather than later.
A week passed, and I noticed Corey wasn’t bothering me as much as he once was. Ever since I delivered to Red Round and came back unharmed, he was sort of suspicious of me. So suspicious that he had his best man, Cheek, talk to me.
The thing about Cheek was he never talked to anyone unless someone was in some deep shit—a hole they would never get out of. He was always around, but he was more of the man who kept up with the drugs. The man who made sure they got the correct amount from the men they negotiated with. Cheek was a lanky, light-skinned fellow with a dyed, bleach-blond buzz cut and a hoop earring in his right ear. Although he seemed calm and collected most of the time, I had the feeling he was one of the craziest motherfuckers known to man. He took no shit. When Corey didn’t feel like dealing with someone, Cheek would do it in a heartbeat. They were like brothers.
“So you gonna tell us how you got outta that shit with Red or what?” he asked, throwing a dart at the board across the room. We were in the game room upstairs. Cheek was going from playing pool to playing darts. I stuck with playing pool.
“I told you. I got lucky. Why can’t y’all just accept that?”
“Nah… luck don’t come around when it comes to them,” he muttered over his shoulder.
“Well, maybe this time, it did.”
He turned around completely. “Or maybe you’re working for them.”
I frowned.
“Yeah,” Cheek continued. “Maybe you got some sorta connection with them. Maybe you’re spying on us for them. They haven’t trusted us. They don’t trust anybody. The only reason they buy from us is because we have the best shit in all Virginia.”
I released a dry laugh as he turned back around, raising his dart in the air. “You’re insane.”
“Oh, I’m insane?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder again. He turned and threw the dart across the room, landing it perfectly in the middle of the board. “No, you’re insane. You know working for them is against the rules here. When you work for Corey, you only work for him. Nobody else.” He took slow steps toward me, smiling crookedly. “The only reason Corey hasn’t beat you down is ‘cause he has respect for you. ‘Cause, although he trusts practically no one, he has some amount of reverence for you. But if you do some shit to hurt what we got goin’ on here, you might not be so lucky with us like you was with them. This is our warning, Roy,” he said, taking his last step in front of me. We were eye-to-eye. Nose-to-nose. My hand was locked around my pool stick, not daring to back down. I wanted to hit him with it but knew the outcome wouldn’t be pretty for me. He was trying to scare me, intimidate me, but it wasn’t working. As he looked me over, scrutinizing me, he smirked and shook his head. “Don’t fuck up. It’ll only hurt you in the end.”
With that, he was picking up his bottle of beer and marching out of the game room. I tossed my stick aside, grabbed my coat, and bolted downstairs and out the door. Before I could get far, Corey’s voice called after me. I didn’t notice he was sitting on the hood of his car. As always, he had a cigar in hand and that eerie look in his dark eyes.
I glanced over my shoulder before turning slowly.
Corey stood from the car and walked toward me. Why was it always me he bothered? Why not anyone else? I really couldn’t grasp the concept of his motives. He knew I didn’t like him.
“I’m sure Cheek made it clear, but I’ll make it clearer,” he said after releasing a thick cloud of smoke through tight lips. “When you work for me, you work for no one else. You understand that? I own you, and until I’m tired of using you, you ain’t goin’ nowhere. If you have some shit goin’ on with Red Round that I don’t know about, trust me, I will find out. And I will make your life a living hell. You got that?” he asked, pointing the lit end of his cigar at me. His face was rock-hard, stern. There wasn’t a trace of humor in his tone. It was dark and menacing. “If I find out you’re working with them or that you’re spying on me and my boys, I will end it… which means endin’ you.” And then, he shoved me. Hard. So hard I stumbled back at least three steps. I was lucky I didn’t land on my ass.
Despite the anger that brewed within me, I still didn’t say a word. I didn’t have to respond. He didn’t fucking own me. Corey then spat at me, aiming at my shoe but missing. In a flash, he turned around, making his way inside the house. The door slammed shut behind him, and I scowled, clenching my fists, making a deep pivot, and storming for my apartment. He almost spat on me. Dirty fucker!
I didn’t have time for their shit, but I admit, I was starting to worry. The more time I spent with Rose, the more I realized they would soon figure out I wasn’t working for Red. Instead, they would uncover something much more risky: my relations with the boss’s daughter. Then, it would be Rose in danger… and me in danger for wanting to protect her. Soon, they would start following. Watching. Threatening.
I got home in no time. Mom was resting on the couch, fully dressed, watching some game show, and when she saw me, she gave a faint smile.
“Hey, Roy,” she whispered.
“Hey,” I sighed out, tucking my fingers in my jacket pockets. I hid all worry. “Ready?”
“I guess.” She shrugged, grunting as she sat up. She had to get a few checkups and blood tests, and I usually took her time at the clinic as my opportunity to spend time with Rose.
On our way to the hospital, Mom talked about how she was enjoying her new doctor. I met him a few times, and he seemed genuine, like he really wanted to help her. Mom continued talking about the friends she met at the hospital, but I couldn’t really get over what Corey and Cheek said to me. They didn’t intimidate me, but I knew now they were probably watching out for me. They were losing trust in me. They were considering me a threat, all because I delivered something and was untouched during the process. Why couldn’t they just accept that? Why did they have to make it a bigger deal than it was?
On our way, each and every day, Mom and I passed by a stoop where four men sat and drank their lives away. They had nothing better to do than make fun of people, aggravate them, scare them, and on that day, I was already fed up with all the bullshit, and they hit my last nerve.
“Look at that slut!” one of the men yelled. I was about to stop walking, but Mom gripped my hand and shook her head.
“Remember what I said, Roy,” she murmured with her gaze forward. “Pay them no mind.”
“Ay! Joanne! Remember how you used to suck my dick! You were good as hell at it. Good times, huh? Now you can’t do shit for me anymore!”
A growl bubbled at the heart of my throat. “I can’t let them keep talking about you like this,” I muttered. I didn’t realize I’d stopped walking and Mom was tugging on my arm until I started staring at the black road.
“Infested bitch!” one of the men yelled. “Take your contagious ass away from here before we catch it, too!”
They all laughed. And I snapped. I yanked away from her and rushed for the stoop, knocking down the empty beer bottles and cans. All the men stood up, but fear was in their eyes, and anger was within me. One of them with a dusty red beard tried to be bold, but his drun
k stagger wasn’t allowing him to stand as tall and mighty as he wanted to.
“What? You mad ‘cause you might have it, too? It isn’t your fault, boy. It’s hers,” he said, pointing over my shoulder. “She shouldn’t have been such a fiiillltthy fucking whore.” His words were slurring together. All the men laughed, and I took a look at each of them thoroughly.
“That’s funny?” I asked rhetorically, tilting my head and cocking an eyebrow.
Before any of them could laugh again, I gripped the man with the beard by the throat. He seemed to be the one leading them into making fun of her and calling her names, so it was time to end it. Locking my hand around his neck and turning him around, I dragged him down the stairs and slammed his face on the concrete. The bald man came rushing down, trying to pull me off of him, but I wasn’t having it. All I could see was red. I was out for blood. Mom was all I had, and I wasn’t about to let them continue their shit talking. I was tired of seeing her cry. Tired of hearing her moans and whimpers of pain. Tired of all the crap in our everyday life that we didn’t fucking deserve.
Without thinking, I slammed his face into the pavement. The other two men remained still, watching as the blood gushed from his face. I was threatening this man, and I didn’t even know it. Venomous words were spewing right off my tongue. Threats that I was going to kill him for all the shit he said about her. How he wasn’t shit and never would be. How he was going to pay for it all. He was my excuse. My escape.
I wanted to kill him… I really did. I couldn’t think straight. I just kept punching. Mom kept yelling, but then, she whispered something… and I stopped.
Reality hit me like a baseball bat to the gut, and I jerked away from the bloody man below me. Blood was spilling across the pavement, making its way to the sewer. Mom was wailing, crying, tugging on the sleeve of my jacket, begging for me to just come with her and walk away from it all.
“This isn’t you, Roy,” she repeated, stepping in front of me. She was right. I couldn’t look at her. I could only stare at the man, and then I stared at the other three who were staring at me as if they weren’t expecting me to go as berserk as I did.
Who I Am (FireNine) Page 5