I began humming the song, tapping my foot, and closing my eyes. Lifting my fingers, I held them in front of me, pretending to play my guitar, imagining the chords and strings. Fuck, there was my inspiration, always catching me at the wrong time. Just as I was about to hum the chorus, a light voice snapped me out of my music trance.
“Having fun?”
My eyes popped open, and I met bright blues surrounded by massive platinum curls. She looked fabulous as always, sporting a shear white blouse and dark skinny jeans. “Hey,” I managed.
She grinned. “Hey.”
“I got worried for a moment. Had to take my mind away from the fact that you were late.”
“Only ten minutes,” she said, checking the time on her cell phone. “But… since I’m late, I’ll grab the mochas.”
I nodded, watching her swing her hips as she walked to the counter. As if knowing I was watching, she glanced over her shoulder and winked. I smirked and winked back.
She got back with our mochas in less than five minutes, and during that time, things were kind of good, but I had to get some answers out of her. I asked her about Tommy and how she’d met him. She said she grew up with Tommy and had known him since she was a little girl, at least six years old. Tommy was always like an older brother to her and Rocky, but when she hit her puberty years, she started feeling differently about him. She grew fond of him.
“He treated me good for a while. Bought me chocolate. Flowers. Took me out to the movies and skating,” she said, shrugging. “I fell for him because he showed me some attention. A lot of the things he offered were new to me.”
She went on about his travels and how, ever since he graduated college (he was four years older than her), he started changing and acting differently. She admitted that, on the first day we met at the park, she and he weren’t on good terms and she’d just broken up with him. She wanted nothing to do with him. She was afraid that he’d find out she was seeing someone else because he was still possessive of her, but after a while, she stopped caring.
“I never thought Rocky would stoop so low as to tell him I’d moved on,” she said, finishing up her mocha and licking the whipped cream from her lips. I would’ve been turned on had I not been so in tune about her past with him.
“Why does Rocky look up to Tommy so much?” I asked.
“Because he knows Tommy is the only one who can convince Daddy into letting him into Red Round early. Ever since our mom died, Rocky’s had this sort of… vengeance. He just wants to kill, and it’s not healthy. I admit, Tommy is good with him. He tells Rocky that vengeance is a weakness—and it is—but… I don’t know. I personally don’t want him involved with Red Round whatsoever. They’re too dangerous.”
“I can tell,” I said, laughing a little.
She pressed her lips to smile, grabbing my hand. “There. Now you have most of it. Tell me some things about you now.”
“What is there to tell?” My laugh came out forced.
She narrowed her eyes. “I know I’m not the only one with secrets, Roy.”
I sat back and withdrew my hand from hers, pushing my hair back. “Well, there’s one thing I haven’t told you.”
“Yeah? And what’s that?” She sat up, eyes wide, as if she couldn’t wait to indulge.
“My… mom…” Shit. This was hard. I looked away from her and out the window, trying to figure out the easiest way to say it. “She has AIDS. It’s why I work for Corey. Why I can’t just stop being involved with him or delivering the drugs.”
Her smile fell, eyes still wide. “W—what? Roy, why didn’t you ever tell me? Is this why you haven’t taken me to meet her?
I nodded in silence. I didn’t dare look at her. I was ashamed, and I didn’t even know why. Finally, I looked up, and her eyes were filled with sympathy.
“What’s that look for?” I asked.
You just talk about her so much when we’re together. I guess I figured she was… healthy and okay—that maybe you just weren’t ready for me to meet her yet. You know?”
“Oh, I know. I just don’t like to think she’s sick.”
“I get it. I’m sorry, Roy.” Her face was serious. All jokes and smiles had been put aside. I simply shrugged, taking her hand and kissing her middle knuckle.
“Don’t worry about it. She’s a soldier. She always says it, and I believe her.”
“If she’s raised you into the man you are now, I’m pretty sure she’s stronger than a soldier.”
“What a compliment,” I teased, winking.
She winked back.
“So… what else?” she asked.
“Well, there’s that one time when I beat a man to a bloody mess because he was talking shit about her. The same night at Steele’s when you saw blood on my sleeve…”
Rose gasped. “What? Seriously?”
“Yes.”
“You say this as if it’s normal.” She slowly started pulling her hand away.
“It was a mistake. I’m not like that, Rose. Corey pissed me off so bad before we came across that man. I regret it to this day. I let my temper get the best of me. It felt good at the moment—pretending he was Corey—but after I snapped out of it and saw what I’d done, I knew I fucked up. I promised myself I’d never do it again unless I really have to defend myself or someone I care for.”
Rose was speechless, unmoving.
“You’re quiet,” I mumbled, staring down at my lap.
“I’m… shocked, is all.”
“I guess I would be, too.”
She laughed quietly.
I met her gaze again and held it. Her lips parted as if she wanted to say something else, but I stopped her by reaching across the table and pressing my finger between the fold of her lips. “I’m really glad we talked this out, Rose. I’ve missed you more than anything in this fucking world.”
I pulled my hand away and she responded with, “I missed you, too, Roy. More than you know.” For some reason, I tingled inside, taking her hand in mine. “So what’s this good news you were gonna share?” she asked.
“Oh… I almost forgot that. Well, you know how I’ve always been telling you my band is going places.”
“Yeah?” she urged.
“Well, we finally have a manager. Some guy Gage’s dad hooked us up with. He’s a really cool guy, and he’ll be setting up some gigs and studio time for us soon. We also have a name… finally.”
She giggled. “Let me hear it.”
“FireNine. Cool, huh?”
“FireNine,” she repeated. “Wow… amazing. I love it.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “So… does this mean you’ll start traveling soon.”
“Soon,” I said. “But I’ll always be making trips back home, Rose. No need to worry.”
“Promise me,” she said, looking at me beneath her long eyelashes. “I don’t think I’ll be able to go too many days without you.”
Standing, I looked down at her and smiled. “I promise. You wanna get outta here? Hang for a while before Corey ends up bugging me and pulling me away from you?”
“Sure,” she whispered. I helped her to a stand, purposefully allowing her to stumble and fall into my arms. She stared up at me, barely breathing, a flustered mess.
I cocked an eyebrow. “Thought you were gonna fall?”
“I did,” she whispered.
“I’d never let that happen, babe.”
She bit on a smile, sucking in her bottom lip, making my dick throb. I wanted to suck her lip into my mouth but held off and anchored my self-control. “Come on.”
The bell of the coffee shop chimed above our heads. I let her out first and hooked an arm across her shoulder, pulling her into my side. This felt good. I felt like… me again. We were smiling. I was glad we’d put it all out on the table. I wanted no more lies. No more secrets. No more negativity between us. I wanted us happy. Complete. I knew there was much more to get to know about her, but I could wait.
Contrary to my happiness and how great I felt walking out of that
coffee shop with her, I saw Corey exiting a jewelry store, a new gold chain around his neck. Seeing him made me stop dead in my tracks. He walked like he owned all of Suffolk. His hands were in the front pockets of his jeans, the same eerie, demented look on his face.
“Roy?” Rose said, breaking my hesitation. As if he heard her, Corey looked up, locked eyes with me, and my heart thudded against my ribcage. “Roy,” she said, a hint of demand in her voice. I wanted to look down, but I couldn’t. I wanted to tell her to run with me, no questions asked, but I just couldn’t. I remained stuck in my tracks, staring at the man who I knew was going to cause me hell.
It didn’t help much as he started walking our way, a devilish smirk on his lips. His dark eyes switched from mine to Rose who noticed him coming toward us. I finally looked down at her, and she was frowning while backing away, like she knew he was trouble.
“Rooyyy…” Corey dragged my name out before stopping a few inches away. “I was just about to call you, but since I’m seeing you in person, be at my place by nine and not a minute later.”
Still smirking, he turned around, but after a few steps, he stopped and glanced over his shoulder. “Beautiful girl. Tell me all about her when you get to my place, will you?”
There was a message beneath his comment, one he was making very clear. I wasn’t showing up at his place to deliver. I was showing up for confrontation… maybe a beating from hell.
Either way, I was going to take it like a man.
For Rose.
For Mom…
I watched him walk away and hop into the passenger seat of a black Lincoln. The driver’s window was cracked, and I made out narrowed, hazel eyes that watched me the entire time. Cheek was driving. Fuck, this wasn’t good.
“Who was that?” Rose asked as I stared down at the cracks in the pavement. “Roy?” she snapped.
I jerked my gaze on her, doing my best to hide my panic. “Corey,” I whispered.
Time seemed to fly when I really didn’t want it to. After that run-in with Corey, I knew I was in some deep trouble. Deep, deep trouble. Instead of hanging with Rose, I told her to take off and go home for fear of Corey showing up again and doing something stupid. I didn’t want her hurt because of me.
I practiced with the boys around three that afternoon but couldn’t seem to focus. Montana yelled at me for it, saying we really had to put our heads in the game. He was right, but I… couldn’t. Knowing Corey was going to be waiting for me scared the living fuck out of me. I hated that he could intimidate me, make me feel lower and dirtier than shit.
Around six that night, I took Mom to the hospital. She looked a lot worse, and I worried for her, but as always, she made a big deal about the nurse I hired and about me living my life. At that moment, I would’ve done anything to be her nurse for the rest of the night, but I knew that wouldn’t be a big enough excuse for Corey, not after what he’d seen. Not after seeing Rose glued to my side. He knew exactly who she was, and the fact that he acted casual about it proved he had something terrible in store for me. Corey was never casual. After all the shit he was going through with Red and the drama with the boss’s daughter, I knew I was in for something dreadful.
I arrived at Corey’s around 8:45, pissed there were so many cars around. It was a warm night, but a cool breeze went by every once in a while, and I filled my lungs with the much-needed oxygen before hurrying up the stoop and entering the house. The music was on blast, people already dancing against one another. It seemed even more packed than usual.
I pushed past the crowd, past the girls grabbing my arm and trying to string me along. I asked around for Corey, and one of the deliverers told me he was on the porch. No. Not the porch.
I stepped outside, noticing a screened section in the far corner. I didn’t know when he added this section, but as I met the screen door, it swung open, and Cheek glared down at me, nostrils flared.
“Just in time,” he said, his deep voice causing uncomfortable bumps to attack my skin.
“In time for what?” I asked, stepping in. There was a red light centered in the middle of the room, making the creepy features of Corey look even creepier.
“Come on in, Roy,” Corey said, raising a hand and gesturing to the open seats. Two girls were sitting on his lap, hugging him tight. I sat as far away from his as I could, but Cheek sat right beside me, still glaring at me. I avoided his gaze, looking only at Corey.
“You need me to deliver something for you?” I was surprised my voice hadn’t wavered.
“No.” He licked his lips as one of the girls placed the palm of her hand on the bulge in his pants.
“Then… why am I here?” I was bold for asking. I knew exactly why I was here.
“Cheek,” Corey muttered without looking at him.
With a nod, Cheek rose to his feet, gripping me by the back of the neck. His grasp was tight, but he squeezed even tighter and roughly pushed my face forward. Bang! My forehead hit the table in front of me and pain seized me. My head throbbed. I was dazed for just a moment, trying to figure out how the hell that happened so fast. I didn’t have much time to formulate though because, in an instant, he did it again. And again. And again.
And one last time.
The girls on Corey’s lap gasped and shrieked. Corey remained perfectly still. My nose began to bleed, my head pounding. Blood was not only dripping from my nostrils but also whooshing around in my head. At first, the pain wasn’t evident, but after a few seconds, it all came at me. And it hurt like hell. My eyes burned, but I fought the emotion.
“You know we lost a man because of you. A good one,” Corey said darkly.
I didn’t say a word. I pressed my hand to my nose, hoping the pressure would stop it from bleeding. Cheek was still standing above me, his grip tight on the back of my neck.
“Because of you fucking around with his fucking daughter, you caused one of my men to get killed, Roy! Killed! You fucking idiot!”
“I swear I didn’t know he’d come after anyone,” I pleaded.
“Doesn’t matter. You knew damn well they’d start looking. They were going to find out regardless, and guess what? They did. You should’ve stopped fucking with her as soon as you heard they were looking.”
It was best to just shut the hell up. I was hurting. I knew for sure my face was bruised. I could feel my eye swelling by the millisecond.
“What the hell were you thinkin’?” Corey continued, glaring at me, his beady eyes filled with nothing but rage.
“It wasn’t supposed to go this far…” I was lying. I wanted us to continue forever.
I wasn’t expecting him to laugh. It was a bitter, dark laugh. Almost a cackle. “Let me ask you somethin.”
I looked away.
“You in love with her?”
I swallowed, taking my gaze lower. Cheek tightened his grip, forcing me to look back up, but I refused to answer. I didn’t have to tell him shit. Who the fuck did he think he was?
“Answer the motherfucking question,” Cheek demanded.
Corey waited on an answer, an amused smile on his lips. I wanted to punch that smile right off his face. I wanted to break his neck or strangle him. I wanted to do something!
“I take it, by the way you were all up on her earlier, that you are. Walkin’ out of a fucking coffee shop, smilin’ like a boy who’d just lost his damn virginity. Fuckin’ pussy,” Corey hissed.
He could call me any name in the book. What fucks did I give? None.
“So you aren’t gonna speak?” Corey asked, swiping his nose. Crackhead.
He waited, but I said nothing more. I was not his fucking ragdoll.
“Alright. Cheek, you know what to do.”
My heart seemed to speed up again as Cheek released me to drag a magazine across the table, toward me. On the magazine were two straight lines of cocaine. As I stared at it, my eyes stretched. Was he…? No. He couldn’t be that fucking insane.
“You wanna fuck up my life and what I have goin’ on around here, then I
’ll fuck up yours. You wanna act like you don’t have respect for me after all the money I’ve given you, then fuck you!” Corey boomed, shoving the girls off his lap. They whimpered and scurried to the corner of the L-shaped sofa, as if they were next.
“Corey, you can’t do this,” I said, nearly begging.
“I can do whatever the fuck I want,” he growled.
“I don’t do cocaine!”
“I DON’T CARE! CHEEK!” Cheek looked up, nodding. “Get that shit over with, and since he wants to talk back, take him to the pool afterwards. You know what to do.”
I didn’t know what Cheek was going to do. What the hell did the pool have to do with any of this? I was terrified of what was about to happen. As Cheek grabbed my neck and Corey turned his back to me, I knew this was it. This was the consequence I was going to pay for messing around with the boss of Red Round’s daughter.
Fuck. I hated myself. I fucking hated me!
Fastening his grip, Cheek forced my head down and my face hit the magazine. It was as if the magazine was exactly in place because my nose touched the line of snow. I didn’t sniff, though. I didn’t want to. I swore to never put that shit in my system. I was drug-free. I mean, I smoked weed every so often with Montana, but it was occasional. And weed was harmless. I didn’t drink much. I was sober most of my life.
But this… I don’t know. I really saw no way out of it.
“Sniff!” Cheek barked. I didn’t, and I guess that ticked him off even more. Cheek released his grip, and for a moment, satisfaction washed through me, but not for long. I heard a gun cock and felt the heat of his hand on the back of my neck again. I was sure my neck was bruising, too.
“Sniff. Mother. Fucker.” Cheek had the gun to my temple. I could feel the barrel, the bullet waiting to be shot straight through my skull. He would do it, too, but first, he wanted to see me suffer.
Who I Am (FireNine) Page 11