“I don’t believe that’s any of your business anymore, Roy. We’re done! I’ve told you this.” She takes a deep pivot and turns for her door. She unlocks it, and when she’s inside, she tries to slam it behind her, but I stop the door with my hand and barge in.
“It’s all of my business, Kelsey! We aren’t done, so you can stop saying that. You know we aren’t!”
“You have no right to check up on me anymore, Roy. I’m no longer yours.” Tears begin to seep into her eyes. I’m not falling for that this time. No. I refuse. She’s mine. She’ll always be. I refuse to lose her to that jackass that just left the building.
“Do you like him?” I ask.
“Not your business,” she states, folding her arms.
“Kelsey!” I reach up and fist my hair, turning around and drawing in a deep breath. “Kelsey, please, stop acting like this,” I murmur. “Stop acting like I don’t matter to you.” I spin back around, but she’s looking at the floor. And I think now is my chance. I walk toward her, trapping her face in my hands, leaning down and kissing her tears away. She finally looks up, but the look in her eyes makes my heart crack.
“Why are you here?” she asks, her voice thick.
“Because I love you, and I want you back, Kells.”
“It’s not that easy, Roy.”
“Look, I know I deserve to suffer for breaking the promises I made you, but I can’t go another day without you. I really can’t. And I know, somewhere in your heart, you can’t either. You love me. I see it all over your face. I feel it radiating off you. This connection between us is too strong to ignore.”
“Yeah, but… I can’t, Roy. What if you do it again? If I take you back, you’ll think you can make another mistake, and you’ll know I’ll forgive you… because I love you. It seems like everyone I date abuses the love I have for them.”
“But I’m not that guy. I wouldn’t abuse it. I’ve learned my lesson about not listening to you. You should’ve been the one I was going to that night, not her. I should’ve told you that she was in town, but… I was afraid. I didn’t want you to worry or lose faith in me.”
Kelsey bites into her bottom lip, shaking her head. “Roy, I can’t. You’re just saying all of this to get me back.”
“No. I mean this!”
“I know you mean it,” she whispers, cupping my cheek. “But I want you to prove it. Nowadays, words can be full of shit. People will say anything to get what they want.”
“Yeah? Just like that jackass you had drinks with?” I snap, pulling my hands from her face.
She looks away.
“How do you know he isn’t full of shit? How do you know he isn’t just trying to fuck you, Kelsey!? Is that the problem? You wanna explore your options before you take me back?”
“No, Roy! I want to trust you again!” Her tears are thicker. Heavier. She’s staring into my eyes, her green irises glistening like marbles. “I put my all into trusting you. I thought, for sure, that you’d make the right choice. You were the smartest, sweetest guy I’d ever dated, Roy. But this one mistake… it changes everything. I’m afraid that, if you ever do get into an encounter with Rosemarie—because I know she’s going to show up again—that you might do something more than share a measly kiss. I don’t want to be with you when that happens. I’m… scared, Roy. I don’t want you to hurt me again.”
I can’t help but stare at her. Her tears make me hurt, but when she breaks down and I catch her in my arms, I die on the inside. This is what she’s been harboring. This is how she really feels. She thinks I’m going to go farther the next time I’m around Rose. Well, she’s wrong. I’m never going to see that bitch again. A thought comes to mind—one that will prove that I’ll never see Rose again.
“I can prove it,” I whisper in her hair, holding her tight.
“How?” she chokes out.
“I can’t tell you yet. Just know that I can. Okay?”
“So you’re telling me to trust you again?”
“Can you?”
“I… don’t know.”
“Can you try?”
She sniffles. “I can try.” She then looks up at me. Other than the light coming through her balcony window, it’s completely dark inside. The blinds are pushed back, so I can see her pretty clearly.
Her tan skin is silky; I just want to kiss it. And I do. I kiss her cheek. She shuts her eyes briefly, as if wanting me to continue.
Why stop now?
I kiss her cheek again, and then her forehead. Tightening my arms around her, I drag my lips down to her chin. Her lips part, begging for me to place them there, but I hold off. She clutches the sleeve of my leather jacket, and I thread my fingers through her hair. She’s wearing a blue skirt and a white blouse. No stockings or tights. Her high heels are still on. I want to fuck her in those heels, and then make sweet love to her.
Reaching up, she runs her forefinger across my bottom lip. Before she can pull it away, I lock my hand around her wrists. Her eyes broaden, and then I take her finger into my mouth. She whimpers as I suck gently, her eyes lowering to watch.
Releasing her finger, I pull away from her and stand to my feet, stripping out of my jacket and solid black T-shirt. She watches as I toss them aside. My eyes travel from hers to her busty cleavage. As if knowing what I’m thinking, she tugs her shirt over her head, revealing the silver bra beneath. My eyes widen, and a smile caresses her lips.
Sitting back on the sofa again, I pull her into me, sucking on the skin of her neck, making my way down to her collarbone. I drag my lips back up, suckling on her earlobe, enjoying the sound of her gentle moans. I want to hear her moan louder, so I run my fingers up her bare legs, sneaking them beneath her skirt. Her body tenses as usual, but I keep going. When I reach her panties, I tug them down, looking up into her eyes.
“Lay down for me, Kelsey,” I demand in a whisper.
She does so without hesitation. Her legs are wide open in front of me, and I slide her panties down completely. I want to toss them, but I don’t. I smell them. I inhale her warmth… the sweet scent of her. I’ve missed it. As if this turns her on, she grabs her breasts, sucking on her bottom lip.
I toss her panties aside and pull her skirt off. I hear it rip along the way, and she grits her teeth, but I shrug. I’m greedy right now, and hard as a fucking rock. But first, I have to please her. I have to show her that I’ve missed her, and this, more than anything in this fucking world.
I dive down, smell her, and then slide a finger deep inside her. She’s warm, wet… ready. Moaning, she wriggles on my finger, but I keep a hold of her waist, staring up at her. “Let me do this,” I say, opening her folds, making sure I breathe against her clit. She shudders, and I smile.
I pull my finger out of her and tie my hair back, because what I’m about to do is going to get messy. Her breathing increases, as if she knows what I’m about to do. Her chest is sinking and rising, heavy and quick, and her lips part. Her legs are wobbling, but I keep them still and kiss her thighs.
I’m stalling. She’s growing impatient. And I love it.
“Roy, please,” she whispers.
“Please, what?”
“I want you to. Now.”
“Now?” I repeat.
“Yes. Now.”
“You want me to do this?” I lean down, gradually sliding my tongue along her clit. She yelps, fisting my hair.
“Ah, yes!” she cries.
“Or this?” I stick my tongue out, gliding it into her hole, bobbing my head back and forth.
“That too,” she whispers.
I know I should stop teasing her, but I love when she begs me. I love when her legs shake, when her back arches, and she tries to put her pussy in my face. It’s truly a sight to see. Even though my cock is throbbing from straining against my jeans, I know it’ll be worth it when I take these jeans off and slide it deep inside her.
Thinking about it makes me antsy. It gets me going. I can’t stall any longer or I’ll bust in my pants. I sink do
wn and suck on her clit, taking it into my mouth, suckling it. She yells my name as I slide my tongue between her folds, sticking it into her every once in a while to get her ready for the real deal.
Her hand is locked in my hair, pushing my head down and guiding me to the right spot. “Oh, right there, Roy,” she moans, holding my head in place. This is her spot. Right on her clit. I slide one finger into her, in and out, and her back arches. I go faster, keeping my tongue at a steady pace, wanting to feel her warm cum spill into my mouth. She cries out even louder, her body trembling, legs wobbling uncontrollably.
I smile and lick at the same time, loving the sight of her eyes rolled back, her mouth wide open, and screams filling the entire room. I’m sure the neighbors can hear. I’m sure the people walking the streets outside her apartment can hear.
I slide my tongue over her clit repeatedly until she becomes out of breath, and when her body stills, I know I’ve hit the jackpot. She wails my name, tightening her hand in my hair, coming undone. I close my mouth a little to savor the taste of her, and when her body dies down and becomes completely relaxed, I lick the remainder of juice away until there’s just enough for me to be able to ease my way inside.
She whimpers as I stand to my feet, literally ripping my jeans off. Seeing her cum and cry out like that made me want to feel it all over my dick. I want to hear her cry out in my ear. I want to hear her say my name repeatedly.
“Come here,” I say as soon as I’ve kicked my jeans aside. I flip her on her stomach, demanding that she holds the top of the couch. Placing my knees outside of hers, I grind my cock against her ass and then reach around to toy with her clit. She knocks her head back to rest it against my shoulder. I pump my fingers in and out of her, and her body starts to get riled up again.
I can’t keep watching her like this. It’s going to get to me too eager. I want this to last. What I’m about to do to her should last for a lifetime.
“Don’t be gentle,” she says over her shoulder.
“I wasn’t planning on it,” I whisper into her ear, nibbling on it as I finish speaking. Before she can reply, I shove my dick deep inside her. I grab a hold of her waist as she inhales sharply.
“As always, you weren’t ready,” I purr into her ear.
I grab a hold of the back of her neck, making sure my grasp is tight enough to let her know I own this but not tight enough to hurt her. This only makes her beg for more. She’s throwing her ass at me, wanting me to stroke hard.
And I do. My strokes are unlimited. She moans and screams my name as I slam my cock into her repeatedly. I’m not going slowly. I’m going as fast as I can. I want to feel it all. My eyes are trained on her back, my hand moving from her neck to her curly hair. I fist it, tilting her head back, and then I suck on her neck, another weakness of hers. Her walls clench around my length, and I groan, loving the feel of it.
“Cum for me, Kelsey. It’s been three days.”
“I know,” she whispers. And then, she screams out, her walls even tighter around me.
“Damn, that shit feels so good,” I say through thick breaths. Her body starts to go limp, but I don’t allow her to give out. I pull out of her and turn her on her back. Parting her legs with my knee, I lift her hips, and she wraps her legs around me. I slide into her again, allowing every inch of myself to feel how wet she is… for me. It feels too good, and I want to cum on the spot, but I owe her this.
I slow my strokes down, but I go deeper. My lips land on hers, and I kiss her fervently. I missed all of this. Being inside her, holding her tight, hearing her whisper my name as if it’s the only name she knows. Her fingernails claw into my back, but I don’t seem to notice. I don’t really care. This mixture of pain and pleasure is amazing, and I don’t want it to end.
But I’m so close.
And she knows because she’s looking into my eyes. When she says, “I love you, Roy Sykes. So much,” I can’t take it anymore.
I tense up, and my face falls into the crook of her neck. I cum. Hard. So hard I’m cursing while yelling her name. And then, I feel it. The relief. The problems fading. As I sit myself up on my elbows and look into her glistening eyes, I know she feels it, too…
This love. This undeniable, insatiable love. We can’t leave each other. We can’t live without one another. Both of us have been craving this. We’ve missed each other like crazy. This thing between us is mutual. How the hell would anyone be able to let something this strong get away?
“I love you, Kelsey Prior. We’ll be okay again.” I kiss her cheek as she shuts her eyes, but a tear ends up sliding down to her ear. “I promise, babe.”
Kelsey
I can’t believe I let him take me like that last night.
I wanted to make it so much harder for him. Why? Because I deserve to be heard and listened to. I deserve to be treated right, and if he screws up, I deserve to be worked hard for… but when he kissed me and held me in his arms, I knew I couldn’t deny it. I love Roy Sykes with my whole heart. I love him more than I’ve loved anyone else. Our love… it’s infinite. Feeling that spark between us after making love proved that we aren’t going anywhere, and that he’s right.
We’re not done.
I had it in the back of my mind that we were done, but deep inside, I knew we never would be. Him coming to my apartment was exactly what I wanted at that time. Him waiting on the stairs in front of my door, looking like he was just as brokenhearted as I was… it’s what I wanted. I wanted to see that he still cared. That he still loved me.
And he proved it a little… but not completely, which is why I told him to leave this morning. I told him I needed time to think things over. His face was torn. He was confused. I guess he thought by having sex that we’d be okay. No. I need more from him. I need him to fight like he means it.
Ugh! I’m a confused mess, and I’m pissing everyone off with my confusion and indecision.
“Well, do you want him around or not?” Eliza asks, frowning over her mug of hot chocolate.
“I don’t know, Liza. I really don’t. I want him around, but I have this gut feeling that Rosemarie is still around, and if he sees her again, he’ll fall for her little traps… again.”
“So, basically, if Rosemarie wasn’t here in New York, you would have no problem taking him back?”
“I mean… I still want him to fight. Coming to see me and saying the same exact thing is old. I used to hear the same thing with Rick… and I hate that I can even compare Roy to him. Roy is so much better.”
Eliza sighs, placing her mug down on the coffee table. Dalton is sound asleep on the cushion beside her, his messy blond hair in his face. “Kelsey, you and I both know that Roy is so much better than Rick. Roy loves you. Okay? And he made one mistake that I’m sure he’ll regret for the rest of his life while he’s with you, but… shit happens. Sometimes we’re put in these awful situations and sometimes we don’t know what to do, but we fight through them. Gage and I weren’t always on good terms—and you know this—but look at us now. After all of that crap I went through with him I’m surprised I’m actually… happy now. I trust him completely now because I know he’s never letting me go again.” She stares into my eyes briefly before looking away and picking up her mug. She picks mine up, too, and heads toward the kitchen. I follow her, folding my arms as I lean my back against the kitchen wall.
“I’m telling you, Kells, if you keep confusing him and showing signs that you don’t want to be around him, he’ll find another way to settle things… without you. And it’ll be so much worse than that one kiss he had with Rosemarie. It’ll be girls running in and out of his condo, making him feel good temporarily. If that’s what makes him feel good for the moment, he’s gonna keep that around, and then it’ll really be hard for you to get him back.” She drops the mugs in the sink, turns, and walks toward me. A wide smile takes over her lips, and she grabs my hands, looking down at them. “Don’t make him suffer so much, Kells. You have to put yourself in his shoes. Imagine if Rick were t
o come back… we all know you still care about him. I don’t think anyone really gets over his or her first love. So imagine Rick coming in town to see you, asking you out for lunch and dinner… and then imagine him trying to kiss you… what would you do?”
I hesitate, swallowing thickly. “I… I don’t know. I wouldn’t really know how to react.”
“Exactly. Something tells me Roy didn’t kiss her back… not intentionally. Something tells me he was unsure of whether he wanted to kiss her again or push her away. He may have given in for just a tiny second, but he didn’t give in completely. You have to give him props for that. He fought against whatever he was feeling at the moment… most likely for you. You must forget he’s still a guy… and guys are fuck-ups,” she laughs.
“Yeah, he’s a guy, but… he’s my guy. And I hate the fact that he was even around her.”
“Well, if he’s your guy, act like it. Trust me,” she sighs out, “I know how you feel. I know Roy holds some of the blame, but the person you should really be blaming is Rosemarie. Even though we don’t really know who she is, she knew exactly what she was doing by inviting Sykes over for dinner.”
“Yeah ‘cause she’s a sneaky bitch,” I scoff.
Eliza laughs. “I bet. This world is full of them, and it’s worse when you date a rock star. It seems like sneaky bitches are lurking around every corner, ready to attack at any given moment. But,” she says, squeezing my hands, “we won’t let them. Why? Because we love our boys. Dearly. And we aren’t going to let these crazy, sneaky bitches try and steal our men. Our happiness.”
I have to admit… she’s right, and she’s making a lot of sense. I smile at her and pull her in for a hug. She rubs circles on my back, giggling over my shoulder. “Roy’s a strong guy, Kelsey. He just had one moment of weakness. I’m sure it won’t happen again.”
“I hope not,” I whisper.
Well, this is awkward.
I promised Jace I would go out to lunch with him this weekend, and here I am, in front of his office door, wondering how I’m going to call it off. I’m pretty sure he’ll know I’m backing out because I want Roy back. I feel sort of bad; he begged me the day before… constantly. But I have to make things right. I’m not over Roy, and I’m sure Roy has learned his lesson by now. He made one mistake, and I can forgive that. He’s a good guy; it’s time to stop playing tricks with my own mind. For the past three days, I was trying to make him seem like a bad guy. What he did was, bad but… it’s the past. It’s done. It’s over with.
Who I Am (FireNine) Page 22