“What about Roy?” he asks.
“What about him?” I retort.
“What was he like a couple of years ago?”
“How would I know when I’ve just met him a year ago?” Ugh, see, this is why it wasn’t a good idea to go out and get drinks with Jace. He always brings out the worst in me. He makes me want to bash his skull in. He’s a wiseass and thinks he knows everything when really he knows nothing. I’m pretty sure I know more about FireNine than he ever will.
Jace laughs, and I frown. “It’s nothing, Kelsey. I just… I wonder what you expect from a lead guitarist of a famous band? A guy who has millions of girls running in his direction every time he’s seen. I’m confused by your thought process.”
“Roy and I were happy. I’ve gotten over the whole publicity thing. And Roy isn’t, and never was, like that. He doesn’t sleep with girl after girl.”
“Of course he doesn’t,” he scoffs. “You would know. You’re with him during every single show.” His tone is full of sarcasm, and right now, he’s completely full of himself.
I slam my drink on the counter and hook my purse on my shoulder. “I didn’t come out tonight to deal with you being an asshole toward me,” I snap, glaring at him. I storm for the exit, and he calls after me. I don’t look back. He’s not worth it.
I stumble out in the cold, gulping the cool air down and letting it dwell in my lungs. I only live a few blocks away. Yes, I’m wearing pumps, but who the hell cares. I’d much rather walk than ride back home with that jackass.
Jace bursts through the doors and yells my name. I refuse to look back. What’s the point? He isn’t even the one I want chasing after me. I want Roy… I want my Roy.
“Kelsey, please just wait,” Jace says, catching up to me and grabbing my arm. I yank away from him, frowning.
“Look, this was nice, Jace, but I shouldn’t have come out tonight.”
His wide eyes look me over. Puffs of breath are flowing through his lips. I step away, swallowing. “Just let me drive you home,” he whispers. “It’s too cold for you to walk home.”
I look back into his eyes, and they’re actually sincere. With a wary nod, I turn around and we make our way to his car parked on the curb. He opens my door for me, but I keep a straight face, climbing inside. I watch as he hurries to the driver’s side, opens his door, and starts the car. He pulls off without a word, and I’m glad because there’s not much else to say… I think.
“Sorry for wasting your time… and your gas,” I murmur.
“It’s okay. I understand. Don’t worry about it.”
“You always say you understand.” I turn my gaze on him. “What exactly are you understanding?”
“I understand that you wanted to get out tonight and clear your head, but I guess I ruined that with my smart-ass mouth, huh?”
“Yeah,” I laugh. “You kinda did.”
“Well, Kelsey, I’m sorry.” Jace takes one more block and then makes a right turn. He pulls into the parking lot of my complex, and I sigh, looking his way.
“It’s okay. You’ve just gotta learn how to shut the hell up sometimes,” I say teasingly.
He laughs hard as I push out of the car. He opens his door and steps out as well, looking in my direction. “Would you like me to walk you up?”
“Um… sure.” I force a smile, shutting the door behind me.
He nods, locking his car up behind me. I open the door, but before I can make it a step up, he rushes for me and stops me by the arm. “Kelsey, I really am sorry. I know you’re going through a hard time right now, and I know you’re still thinking about him. It’s a fresh feeling for you. I feel bad for ruining your night. I really thought it’d be cool to get you a drink or two.”
“You didn’t ruin it, Jace. Tonight was very generous of you.”
“You sure?”
“Positive,” I whisper. “It’s not like I regret it or anything.”
Nodding, he steps in closer and his eyes travel down to my lips. My heart rate picks up as I stare back at his. His are full… pink. They seem savory, but if I’m being honest, those lips aren’t the lips I want to feel right now. He inches in closer, his eyelids growing heavier and nearly shutting. I watch his lips pucker a bit, but before he can touch my lips with his, I turn my head, and his mouth lands on my cheek.
“Jace… I don’t think that’s best… right now,” I whisper.
He steps back, blinking rapidly. “I’m sorry,” he breathes out, eyes wide.
I shrug. “Just… isn’t the right time or moment.”
“Yeah. I see.” Forcing a smile, he does the complete unexpected and takes my arm in his. I stare at him, confused.
“You… you still wanna walk me up after I dissed you like that?” I ask as he takes a step up.
He chuckles. “Not the first time I’ve been dissed. Besides,” he sighs. “I can wait."
“Wait for what? Me?” I ask.
“Yep. For you.” He smiles down at me. I grin, and he abruptly stops walking to tilt my chin. “There goes that smile. The full one. It’s truly a sight to see.”
I bite on the next, and when he laughs, I can’t help but laugh with him. I guess he isn’t so bad.
Roy
Three days.
Three fucking days.
Three long days of lonely, cold nights, blaming myself and wishing I could do everything all over again. I always screw up. I swear I do. Why didn’t I just listen to her? If I had, I wouldn’t be in the situation I am now.
I can’t keep going on without Kelsey. That girl is my air… my life. She’s my sun, my moon, my earth… my universe.
One mistake, and I’m all fucked up. What’s worse is that I can’t think straight. I’m supposed to be helping Gage with lyrics, but I don’t want to write anything. If I do, I know it’ll be about wanting another chance… wanting to make things right again. Who the hell wants to hear about that? The boys are happy. No need to drag them down along with my sorrows and me. It’s best to keep the lyrics to myself.
“You’ve been pretty quiet today,” Gage says, adjusting the strings of his guitar.
I shrug, but I don’t say anything.
“You know you can’t hide shit from me, right?” Gage asks, laughing.
I look up at him, my eyebrows stitching. “What do you mean?”
“You must forget that my girl is best friends with your girl—well, you’re ex-girl.”
Oh, now I see. He already knows. He was just waiting on me to speak up about it. I blow out a breath, dropping my notebook and sitting forward. I run a rough hand through my hair, shaking my head. “I fucked up,” I mutter.
“Oh, I know,” Gage admits, placing his guitar against the wall. “But don’t we all?”
He sits across from me, and then he laughs, which causes me to glare up at him. “What’s funny?”
“Rose played you. Big time. She knew what the hell she was doing… inviting you to dinner. What the fuck, man? That’s the oldest trick in the book!” Gage bursts out laughing, and I’d usually laugh with him, but I can’t. Not right now. After swiping his tears of laughter away and adjusting himself in his seat, he looks at me, but I look away. “Look, I know how you feel. I know you want to consider it a mistake, but it isn’t, man. You can’t just fall onto someone’s lips or accidentally slide your dick into a girl’s pussy, generally speaking. There was no accident there. You gotta man up and accept the consequences. Right now, Kelsey is furious. She’s pissed the fuck off, but at least it wasn’t as bad as what I went through with Eliza. Ours lasted for two fucking years. It’s only been three days for you. That’s nothing.” He sighs, running his palms across his jeans. “Look, if you wanna win her back, you gotta fight. Do something about it now. Don’t wait until it’s too late. You gotta listen to her. Put yourself in her shoes. You can’t let this shit get you down. Moping over it isn’t gonna get her back.”
“I’ve been thinking about how exactly to go about it,” I say, sitting up.
“Thinking only wastes time. Do what you feel, dude.” Gage gives a smile and then hops to his feet. He stands next to me and picks up my notebook, looking over all the words that are scratched out. “No progress. How about we just link up tomorrow. I know you have a lot going on up there.”
I nod in agreement. Gage packs up his guitar, and I pack mine as well, but when Gage laughs again, I whirl around, frowning. “Why the hell do you keep laughing?”
“I just… oh, God. It’s just… I was never a fan of you dating Rosemarie. And then she comes back and it’s like… what the fuck? It’s just like déjà vu for me… only it’s happening to you… if that makes sense.”
I end up laughing with him… a little. But then I straighten up. “Can I ask you something?” I ask. My tone is serious now, and he straightens up as well, looking me over.
“Sure, man. Anything.”
“Do you think Kelsey will be as forgiving of me as Eliza was to you? I… I know I screwed up, but…”
Gage simply shakes his head, and I clamp my mouth shut. “Dude, I can’t answer that. Only you know the real Kelsey. Only you can decide whether you can win her back or not. If you know she won’t take you back, the least you can do is try. If she still says no, it’ll hurt, but you’ll just have to live with it. If we’re being honest, your situation has nothing on Eliza’s and mine. To this day, I regret all I put her through; yet, I’m grateful for her. I’ll never let her down again. I made that promise to her, myself, and my son.” Stepping toward me, he caps my shoulder, his hazel eyes friendly and understanding.
“We live, and we learn, Roy. Remember that. This is only a rough patch. I’m around Kelsey enough to know she’s weak when it comes to you, which is a good thing. It means she loves you, more than words can explain. You can’t just let that go. The miserableness you’re feeling right now isn’t worth it. You deserve to be happy after all the shit you’ve been through. You both do.”
A couple hours later and I’m sitting at a bar with Montana. He’s been goofy all night, which is what I need. I need to laugh. I need to clear my head. The best person to be around when I need a good laugh is Montana Delray.
“So… let me get this straight,” Montana says, picking up his beer bottle. “That Rosemarie bitch was at the show on Friday, she invited you to lunch and then to dinner, and then she kissed you, like nothing ever happened between the two of you before?”
“Basically,” I say, taking a sip of my Scotch.
“And you kissed her back?”
“No—I mean, I don’t fucking know. It was like a reaction thing… I can’t explain it. It all happened so fast.”
“So… you did kiss her. Just admit it, dude. That chick is hotter than hell. I was holding out on telling you this before—because you were dating her and all—but when I saw her, I wanted to fuck the shit out of her. Fuck her brains out, dude.” He does some sort of motion with his hips, like he’s really fucking someone. I laugh out loud, shaking my head. “Actually, do you have her number? I can set her straight for you. I can get her to forget about you, and I’ll even get her to promise to leave you alone… while I’m pulling her hair and hitting it from the back, of course.”
“You’re sick,” I say, taking another sip of my drink. It’s hard not to laugh at him, though. He’s so nonchalant, like what he’s saying isn’t offensive whatsoever. That’s what makes it funny. It’s like he doesn’t even know.
“So Kelsey is pissed at you?” he asks.
“Yep.”
“And she won’t answer her phone?”
“Nope.”
“And you’ve gone by her apartment unannounced. I heard chicks love that shit. Makes them weak in the knees to know you’ve been thinking about her… something like that.” He laughs at himself.
“I’ve gone by there over a dozen times. Either she’s not home or she’s ignoring me. I honestly don’t think she’s home. The lights are always off, and I can’t hear a thing going on in there. I’m going by there again as soon as I leave here.”
“You know what you can do,” Montana says, sitting up straight and turning toward me.
“What?”
“Sing to her. Bitches love when they get sung to. Ask Gage. That’s what he used to do. Sing to them to get them in the bedroom. He sang to Eliza… and look at them now.”
I frown at him. “Montana… you know I can’t fucking sing.”
“So what? It’s the thought that counts. If she can’t appreciate that and some good ol’ acoustic guitar, she’s an ungrateful bitch.”
I glare at him.
“I mean, chick,” he says, correcting himself. He then shrugs, tapping the counter to get the bartenders attention. He orders another beer and asks me if I’d like another Scotch, but I turn it down. I refuse to go to Kelsey’s place stinking drunk again. She was pissed about that, but she was also right. I went drunk because I didn’t want to be afraid to say what I had to say. Being drunk was the only way I could be bold enough to spit it all out.
“You know, none of you dickheads ever ask about me and how I’m doing,” Montana says, frowning at me.
I chuckle, pushing my hair back. “Oh, I’m sorry Montana. I didn’t realize you had any feelings.”
“Well, I do. But no need to ask. I’m all good.”
“You sure, buddy? You seem pretty upset? What about that girl you’ve been after? What’s up with her?”
He frowns at me. “I feel there’s no need to try when she always rejects me. She’s a stuck up bitch. Probably thinks she’s better than me.”
“Oh. Sucks. Wanna talk about that?”
“Nah. It feels better to get drunk.” He shrugs, smiling.
“Okay, well while you enjoy that beer, I’ll be making my way to Kelsey’s. I’ll see you Saturday.”
Montana nods, and I push my stool in. I turn for the exit and make my way out and into the cold. Tightening my hold around my collar, I hurry to the parking lot, and as soon as I stuff my key in the ignition, I’m on my way to Kelsey’s. No backing out now. It’s almost 11 P.M. If she isn’t home, then something must really be up.
I pull into her parking lot and spot her car. I’m glad to see it. Her car is here which means she is too.
I rush up the stairs, reaching the fourth floor in a matter of seconds. I rush for her door and pound on it, and then I step back, waiting for it to open. After a few seconds pass by, I don’t hear a sound on her side of the door. “Kelsey. Please,” I call, lowering my gaze to the floor. “Just give me this chance to make it up to you.”
Silence.
I blink rapidly, knocking on the door again. I try and take a peep through the peephole, hoping to see some light, but there isn’t any. It seems vacant inside. Dark. Empty. I try and remain positive, hoping she went out with Eliza or her boss, Monica. It’s best to wait, and I know I’ll actually be able to get to talk to her if I see her before she enters her apartment. I decide to wait on the next level of stairs that are only a few steps away from her door. I pull out my phone, plug my headphones in, and rest the back of my head against the wall, bobbing my head to the music.
Thirty minutes later, I hear footsteps. I snatch one of my earphones out of my ear and hear a man laughing. I know that isn’t her. She wouldn’t be with another man.
The laughter gets closer and their footsteps echo against the walls. The girl’s laughter sounds familiar, but I stay in place. No, it can’t be. She wouldn’t…
“Seriously, thank you, Jace. I needed this,” I hear Kelsey say. My heart fails. I hold back on whatever action I want to take.
“No problem. Looks like you needed it.”
Footsteps start again and then Kelsey is facing her door. I’m staring at her back, hoping she doesn’t look over her shoulder and see me.
“Would you like me to stay a little longer? Make sure you catch some rest?” the man asks.
“Oh, no, that’s okay,” she says, still staring down at her doorknob and fumbling with her keys. “I think I need some time alon
e, you know?”
“Oh, yeah, I get it. Don’t want to rush anything.”
Rush anything? Damn it! That’s it. I hop to my feet, taking two steps down. Kelsey spins around, frowning.
“Roy?” she asks. She switches glances between me and this random man in the suit standing in the middle of the hallway.
“I came to talk to you, Kelsey,” I whisper.
“There’s nothing to talk about, Roy,” she snaps. “How long were you sitting there?”
“The past thirty minutes.”
She groans, placing the palm of her hand against her forehead. “Look, Jace, I’ll see you at work tomorrow. Okay?”
Jace is quiet, and when I look at him again, he’s staring at me. I grimace at him, daring him to say something smart. He isn’t getting my girl, so he can take his arrogant ass home.
“Can’t wait,” Jace says, smirking at me.
“What?” I step toward him, gritting my teeth.
“Oh, I was just telling Kelsey that I can’t wait to see her tomorrow. It’s always good seeing her. I actually enjoy the sight to of her, unlike some people.”
“You lay a finger on her, and I’ll break that shit off,” I seethe, stomping toward him.
“Roy!” Kelsey yells, rushing for me. She grabs my arm and drags me back before I can get too close to him. “Jace, go, please.”
With a shrug and the same smirk on his lips, Jace turns around and walks down the stairs. “Tomorrow, Kelsey!” he calls. I try and yank my way out of Kelsey’s arms, wanting so badly to rush after him and kick his ass down the stairs, but her hold is too tight.
“Roy, stop this!” she shouts. “Please!”
I look down at her, finally yanking my arm out of her hands. “Is that—how long have you been talking to him, Kelsey?”
“He’s a co-worker, Roy.”
“Oh yeah? Why is your co-worker bringing you home this late? Why is he looking forward to seeing you tomorrow?”
Who I Am (FireNine) Page 21