All for You

by Andrew Grey

  “Where are we?” Willy asked ten minutes later when they pulled into the drive of a low log home surrounded by straight pines.

  “This is my home,” Reggie said. “It used to be my uncle Harry’s. He died a few years ago and left it to me. I used to come to Sierra Pines when I was a kid to visit for a week or so in the summer. I came up here on vacation after he died, so when I was offered the job in town, I took it and moved here permanently.” He pulled to a stop, and Willy got out. The rain had stopped, at least for a little while, and Willy looked at the porch, which filled in the front between the two wings.

  “It’s beautiful.” He continued taking it in as Reggie unlocked the door and switched on the lights.

  “Come inside,” Reggie said as the rain started again.

  Willy hurried up on the porch and then into the house. The inside was even more spectacular, with log walls everywhere, pine ceilings, and a huge stone fireplace from floor to vaulted ceiling. Heavy, masculine leather furniture with a few throws filled the room, and a huge painting of the mountains hung over the fireplace. Willy wasn’t sure where to look first.

  “Uncle Harry built it himself. It took him almost five years to get everything done, but it was all him, and it shows in every detail.” Reggie took off his coat and offered to take Willy’s to the laundry room to dry.

  “Thanks.”

  “You’d better call your mom and dad to let them know where you are. They’ll be worried, and they’ll probably look for you.”

  Willy knew that was true. Heaven forbid he should have a few hours away from them, out from under his father’s thumb. The other day when he’d gone to Sacramento, he’d had to say he was vising friends down there from school, and even then his dad had balked at giving him permission to go. He was twenty-two, and his dad still had to approve everything he did. It sucked. But he pulled out his phone and sent his dad a text saying he was at a friend’s and was fine. He eventually got a response when his dad phoned, and after evading his dad’s questions about where he was, he ended the call. It felt good to be free for a little while.

  “Is your stomach settled?” Reggie brought him a glass of soda and motioned to the sofa.

  Willy took the offered seat. “It will. I’m not hungry or anything.” His cheeks heated from behind the glass as he sipped. Reggie had seen him throw up because he didn’t want to be at home. How embarrassing could he get?

  “I’ll bring some crackers. It will help get the taste out.” Reggie fussed in the kitchen and brought in a dish of butter crackers, setting it on the coffee table before sitting in the nearest huge leather chair.

  Willy nibbled one and sipped the soda. They stared at each other, and Willy wasn’t sure what he should say. “I’m sorry,” he said as Reggie opened his mouth.

  “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

  “Yes, I do. I dumped a whole bunch of family stuff on you, and my dad would have a cow if he knew. He’s all about us setting an example, and we’re supposed to be this model family. In church, Mom plays the organ and teaches Sunday school. Now I teach it as well. Whenever Dad wants to talk about virtue, he makes us all come forward and stand with him.” Willy set his glass down. He’d been gripping it so tightly that he was afraid he was going to break it.

  “Does he yell?”

  “Dad? Never. I have never heard him raise his voice ever.” Willy stood and turned around, raising his shirt. “Dad prefers the belt. ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child.’”

  Reggie gasped, and Willy knew he was seeing the scars.

  “What in the hell?” Reggie asked as Willy turned back around.

  “A year ago, Ezekiel was playing with the neighbor boy. Apparently they disagreed over something and Ezekiel said the F-word at the kid. He ran home and told his mom, who called my dad. Dad had gotten the belt to punish Ezekiel. I told my dad no, that if he hit Ezekiel, I’d call the child abuse hotline. Dad’s eyes got black and he turned on me. I was sore for days. I was lucky there wasn’t too much bleeding, but it hurt to move.”

  “What about your mom?”

  “She does what he says.” Willy closed his eyes and did his best to settle his stomach. “He’s never hit Ezekiel and Ruthie. I told him he could beat me, but if he ever hit either of the kids, I would make sure he paid for it. That’s when he got even more watchful. The worst thing on earth is someone who can think for themselves.”

  “Has he hit you since?”

  “No. The last sheriff was in my dad’s pocket, but I thought I’d call the state police and report it. At least someone other than that idiot would know. He’s never touched me again. Like all bullies, he can’t take people standing up to him.” Not that there was anything he could do about what had happened now. The only thing that made him happy was that his brother and sister wouldn’t be hit the way he had. At least he’d managed that.

  “I’m sorry. I wish I’d been here….”

  “It doesn’t matter. No one can stand up to my father. Everyone in town thinks he’s perfect, and they all come to him for guidance. If I told anyone else what happened, they wouldn’t believe me.”

  “I believe you,” Reggie said. “And you tell me if he abuses you or anyone in his care. I will take action.” He set his glass on the table. “No one is above the law. Not the mayor or his kids. I know they’ve pretty much terrorized the town, but that ends now. And from what I’ve heard, it isn’t likely the mayor will be returning to office.”

  “That’s good,” Willy said. “He needs to go. Maybe next time they’ll vote someone in who isn’t tied to my dad.”

  “You really hate him,” Reggie commented. It wasn’t even a question.

  “I didn’t always. He used to be a good man, caring. He preached the good parts of the Bible, love thy neighbor. And then my brother Isaac, he was a year younger than me, was killed by a drunk driver. Dad had loaned him the car, and the guy ran him off the road coming down the mountain. The car flew off the road and ended up hundreds of feet below. There was nothing left of him or the car. After that, I think Dad figured he must have done something wrong to deserve that kind of punishment.” Willy wiped his eyes. “Mom and Dad used to be happy before then. I remember them laughing, and we went on outings, like a normal family. Since then I can’t remember my father really smiling.” Willy closed his eyes and tried to clear his head.

  “That can change a person. I’ve known people who drank and turned to drugs—anything to dull the pain. It sounds like your dad turned to the Bible and managed to turn the pain inward and onto itself.” Reggie grabbed his glass and emptied it. “I’m really sorry about your brother.”

  “No one ever talks about him at home.” Willy suddenly found he needed to. “Father packed away most of his things, and no one talks about him. Ruthie asks about him sometimes, but only when Mom and Dad aren’t around. Ezekiel is young enough that he barely remembers him at all.”

  Reggie got up and crossed to sit next to him on the sofa. “I see a lot of tragedies in my job. At least I used to. I came here to try to prevent them as much as possible.” Reggie slid his fingers across Willy’s, sending a shock through him that Willy didn’t fully understand. “What was Isaac like?”

  Willy chuckled, drawing an image of his brother to mind. “He was the wild child of all of us, though not nearly as wild as Clay and Jamie. He liked to have fun and didn’t listen to our father. He used to sneak out of his room at night and go down to the diner a few blocks away. He didn’t do bad things—I think he just wanted his freedom.” Willy could certainly understand that. “Isaac loved cars and worked on them all the time. He kept the old family car running for a full year before it completely gave out. He was gifted that way.” Willy sighed. “I miss him a lot.”

  Willy closed his eyes and wished he was back in his room alone so he could bury his face in his pillow and cry. He’d thought of Isaac less and less over time, and guilt raised its ugly head. With his parents never talking about Isaac, it was up to him to try to keep the memory of his br
other alive.

  Reggie put an arm around him and tugged him closer. “It’s okay.”

  Willy shook his head and pulled away.

  Reggie took his arm back. “There is nothing wrong with hurting over someone you lost, and there is no weakness in being comforted.”

  Willy leaned closer and put his arms around Reggie’s middle. He wasn’t sure what it would feel like to hold another guy, but as he held tighter and Reggie’s arm cradled his shoulders, he relaxed and closed his eyes once again, burying his face in Reggie’s shirt. He was determined not to cry, but he didn’t move an inch in case Reggie changed his mind. Willy tried to remember the last time he’d been held for comfort and warmth… and couldn’t. He hugged Ruthie and Ezekiel as much as he could, wanting them to know closeness and gentleness rather than the cool distance that was their parents.

  He lifted his gaze upward. Reggie’s deep, darkened eyes met his in return. Warm fingers touched under his chin, holding him still, ripples of heat running through him. For a second he thought he might have a fever. Then Reggie slowly moved closer.

  The first touch of another man’s lips to his felt like coming home. Willy hadn’t known what it would be like, but it felt wonderful. Reggie’s lips were hot, and smoother and softer than he’d expected.

  The kiss didn’t last long. Willy blinked, pleased that Reggie stayed close, continuing to hold him. This was what he’d been hoping for that night in Sacramento. He wanted more but wasn’t sure how to ask for it. Heck, he wasn’t even sure what it was he wanted.

  “That was nice,” Willy said, just because he thought he had to say something. It was the truth, but his words seemed so inadequate. Ever since he’d figured out that he was different than most other people, he’d dreamed what it would be like to kiss another man. Willy had thought more along the lines of the physical, and the kisses in his imagination had been closer to those he got from his aunts because that was all he had to compare with. This was nothing like that. It sent chills and fire running through him at the same time.

  Reggie kissed him again, and the same thing happened, only this time the kiss was deeper. Willy felt it all the way to his toes, his legs extending and his back becoming rigid, excitement coursing through him. Willy wound his arms around Reggie’s neck, holding him close because he never wanted this to end.

  The heat that traveled between them set Willy’s world on fire, burning away the person he thought he was. This was someone different, someone who had kissed another man and knew he wanted to do it again and again for the rest of his life. When they parted, Reggie released him, and Willy sat back on the sofa, breathing deeply, blinking, wondering how he was going to deal with the changed reality of his life.

  It was just a kiss. And maybe that was true. But to Willy, it was more than that. It was assurance that what he’d thought was real and not some fantasy. He’d had a taste of what he really wanted.

  “You okay? You look a little dazed,” Reggie asked, and Willy nodded absently. So many of the things his father had always said about gay people were complete shit. He could see that now. Things about them being deviants and rapists, which was only a bunch of shit to scare people into believing the same narrow-minded things that he did.

  “Yeah.” Willy smiled. “I’m fine, more than fine. I think I’m good… for the first time in a long while.” It felt like the sun had come out from behind the clouds after a long rainstorm.

  Maybe things would be all right after all.

  A crack of thunder split the air. That kind of storm was rare up here, and Willy jumped, not used to hearing it. They got plenty of rain and snow in the winter, but thunder didn’t happen often, and that meant the storm was intensifying. Willy sat back as rain pelted the windows. “This place is solid as anything ever built.” Reggie gathered him close once again. “Nothing to worry about.”

  Willy wasn’t worried, really. Reggie was strong and protective.

  After a while, the storm abated, and Reggie got up, made a snack, and brought it in. “I don’t have a great deal in the house right now.” He’d grabbed some meat and cheese to have with the crackers. Willy’s appetite had returned, and he ate carefully, then yawned.

  “I should probably go home.” Though the prospect was hardly something he looked forward to. But a few hours of freedom would have to hold him for now.

  Just then the wind rattled the windows, and Reggie checked his phone. “If we lose power, I’m going to have to go see what’s wrong and what I can do to protect the repair crews.”

  “You have to go out in this?” Mountain storms could come on fast and the wind could whip through the canyons with hurricane force.

  “I hope not.” Reggie stood, and Willy did the same. “Let me show you the guest room. No one should be out in this who doesn’t have to be.” Reggie led him down a hallway and opened the door to a bedroom with the same log walls and furniture with frames made of branches. “My uncle made a lot of the furniture himself as well. He loved using materials he gathered himself.” Reggie pointed out the bathroom and then left Willy alone, closing the door.

  Willy sat on the edge of the bed, listening as Reggie returned to the living room. He cracked the door and the clink of dishes reached his ears. Then Reggie approached, switching lights off.

  Willy went into the bathroom to clean up. He got ready for bed and settled under the covers as Reggie moved in other areas of the house. Willy wondered what it would be like to have Reggie in bed with him, the huge, strong man lying next to him, holding him close. He tried not to imagine what sex would be like with him. Basically he had so little experience, his fantasies were mundane and repetitious. He needed to get some new material and maybe some new experiences to go along with it.

  A soft knock pulled Willy out of his thoughts. “Willy?”

  “Yes,” he answered gently, his body instantly on edge, excitement coursing through him as he wondered what Reggie wanted. What would he do if Reggie came in the room? God, Willy was too scared of his own damn shadow. Reggie was a good guy. He’d backed off at the club, and he’d certainly make sure Willy was taken care of.

  “If you need anything, my room is at the end of the hall.”

  “Okay,” Willy answered, and then Reggie was gone and he was alone, yet so close to what he thought he wanted. The thing was, he had no idea how to go about getting it. Maybe if he asked…? No, Reggie had already backed away from him once.

  Chapter 4

  REGGIE YAWNED at his desk the following morning. He hadn’t slept much the night before, keenly aware of having Willy in the house. When he got up at his usual time, he’d found Willy already awake, sitting on the sofa, staring at the walls, worrying his lower lip with his teeth. He’d taken him back into town and dropped him off at home before heading to the station. Now, he couldn’t concentrate, hoping Willy wasn’t going to be in any trouble.

  “When do we need to take Clay and Jamie to see the judge?”

  Reggie checked the clock. “Go get them and we’ll take them over. How was their night?”

  “Very quiet. The older one, Jamie, apparently stayed up, and Clay spent much of the night on his bunk. The guard thought he might have heard crying on and off during the night, but he wasn’t sure.” Jasper shifted as he took another step closer. “What do you think will happen to them?”

  “Honestly, I think they’ll be given bail and then they’ll get probation and a fine in the end, especially Clay, who’s a minor. The worst part of their ordeal is probably over, but I hope they remember it.” Reggie stood and went with Jasper through the station. “Where is Sam?”

  “Traffic duty.” Jasper grinned. It was clearly a source of delight. “Shawn is out on a domestic disturbance call up at the Wilsons’. They were screaming at each other again, and the neighbors called.” He spoke like that was a regular thing. “Shawn says they never hit each other, just yell at the top of their lungs like banshees. I went out there once, talked to them. They get quiet for a while, and then it starts up again.”


  They got the two boys out of their cells and into the cars, and drove them to the courthouse, where they were met by their parents and a lawyer. Reggie escorted them to a secured room where they could talk and left Jasper to watch over them. He headed upstairs to the courtroom and ran into Reverend Gabriel.

  “Good morning. How was His Honor doing?”

  “As well as can be expected. I counseled him on his boys, and we prayed together. Then I left him alone.” Reverend Gabriel held his hands together, his voice as calm as ever. Reggie wondered what was really going on behind those eyes.

  “He’s with his boys and the lawyer now.” Reggie did his best not to look around in the hope that Willy was with his father, but the door to the men’s room opened and Willy came out, dressed in somber clothes much like his father.

  “Morning, Sheriff,” Willy said with a slight smile that lasted seconds, before standing next to but behind his father, gaze darting around, tension between father and son mounting by the second.

  “I understand you brought my son home this morning.” Reverend Gabriel turned to Willy and then back to him. Reggie wondered what Willy had told him and suspected this was a way of corroborating Willy’s story. Reggie nodded, and thankfully Jasper brought out the boys, so they headed into court without him having to answer.

  EVERYTHING WENT as expected: bail and a court date were set, and the case shifted to the county attorney, which meant that unless it actually went to trial, Reggie and Jasper were done.

  “Where is your father?” Reggie asked Willy as he approached him outside the courtroom.

  “He had to go to the church, and I managed to beg off. I can only take so much of this. I was hoping to have a chance to talk to Clay.” Willy peered up toward the doors. “He’s at a crossroads. You know?” He gazed past Reggie and waved. Clay stood with his brother and father, still looking a little freaked.