All for You

by Andrew Grey

  “What did your dad say?”

  “I didn’t tell him yet. I talked to Mr. Webster just before I came here, but he wants me to start on Monday. So that’s really good.” Willy practically bounced on the stool. “The really nice thing is that Mr. Webster is Catholic, so he isn’t one of the folks who’s beholden to Dad. He wants me for me and what I can do.”

  “That’s great.” Reggie smiled.

  Willy bit his lower lip. “The only thing is that Mr. Webster is open on Sundays. He’s about the only store that is, but he said that people need things and they come in all the time. He doesn’t open till after noon, but it means that some days I’d have to leave church early. But the store is just down the street, so I can be there in five minutes. It won’t be too big a deal.”

  “You deserve to have your own life.” Reggie lifted his beer bottle and clinked it with Willy’s. They shared a smile and then drank. “Sometimes fathers think they know what’s best for their children. Maybe they do sometimes, but we have to find out on our own.”

  “Maybe once I get settled in this job, I can find a place of my own to live. That would be best. Then I’d be away from him. But I suppose I need to go one step at a time.” Willy was still so excited, and Reggie was amazingly happy for him. Taking the first steps on one’s own was a big deal, though it highlighted just how big the age and experience difference was between them. “How was your day after all the court stuff?”

  “Busy, but relatively uneventful, thank goodness. I took some calls, mostly community-service-type things, and did some patrolling.” Reggie didn’t explain about the rest area and the stepped-up patrols he’d ordered there. He figured there was more going on there than just a little quick gratification.

  They ate companionably. Reggie couldn’t help glancing over at Willy every few minutes just to check on him. Reggie wished he’d have sat on the other side of the counter so he could watch Willy more closely. On second thought, Reggie was already doing his best to keep his napkin stretched over his lap to hide his erection. Just being this close to Willy had that effect on him. Not that he had any intention of acting on it, even though his instinct pushed him to take Willy and show him just how wonderful things could be between two people.

  Reggie stifled a sigh once he was finished eating. He needed to put some distance between them. Reggie was already sweating, and not from the heat. Every time he inhaled, he scented Willy. Maybe it was his cologne, but Reggie didn’t think so. He was pretty sure he kept smelling pure Willy, and it was driving him crazy.

  He put his dishes in the sink and began gathering up the leftover bread and pasta to wrap it up and put it away. Between them they had eaten all of the salad, so he put that bowl in the sink.

  “I appreciate you coming to make me dinner. You didn’t have to, but it was a real treat.” Reggie smiled and then finished the cleanup.

  “I see…,” Willy said softly. “I really should get going.”

  Reggie didn’t mean to make Willy feel bad, but Willy was a huge source of temptation. Reggie turned around, pulling his hands out from under the warm water. “I don’t know what you want from me,” he admitted. “Or maybe I do.” Fuck it all to hell, he hated being nervous. In his job, it was action, caution, and confidence that kept you on your toes and alive. Inaction could be just as fatal as making the wrong move.

  “I feel like a fool,” Willy whispered. “Maybe I am too… naïve for words.” He rolled his eyes and looked about two seconds from slapping himself. “I figured I’d come over here and make you dinner, and we’d talk and you’d see that I’m a nice guy, maybe sort of cute….” His half smile certainly was—there was no denying that for a second. “I thought that maybe you liked me and that….” He sighed. “Ruthie hates to cook, and Mom is always telling her that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. At least that’s how she claims to have caught my father….”

  “Is that what you wanted—to catch me?” Reggie was flattered and a little bowled over by the simple, old-fashioned approach. He walked to where Willy stood and embraced him gently. “You’re an amazing young man. Don’t let anything tell you otherwise, ever.” He tightened his hug, and Willy wound his arms around Reggie’s waist.

  “Sometimes I wish I was like everyone else. Then I wouldn’t have to hide and could be myself.” Willy squeezed him. “I just want what everyone else has.” He lifted his gaze, and Reggie nodded. He understood that sentiment so very clearly.

  “I hide too,” Reggie admitted. “When I want to have fun, I go to Sacramento. I never see anyone where I work. That’s where we met, on one of those evenings. Those friends all live very open lives, but I keep mine closed. The people who appointed me to my position here do know that I’m gay.” Reggie swallowed very hard. “I love my job and I love what I do. As much as I want to be able to say that my being gay doesn’t make a difference, I know that’s not really true. It will make a difference. And who knows how the people here will take it?”

  “So you’re staying away from me because of them?” Willy asked.

  Reggie chuckled, burying his nose on Willy’s soft hair. Without thinking, he inhaled and had to stifle a groan. “No. I’m staying away because I’m afraid you’ll become addictive, and the two of us being together is dangerous. You have a pretty good idea how your father will react. Imagine what would happen if it came out that you and I are together.” Reggie closed his eyes and held a little tighter because what he was saying made his throat ache and close up as though it wanted to stop what he was saying.

  “I guess I know,” Willy said, lifting his gaze, and when Reggie met those incredible blue eyes, they drew him in like a magnet, a force he couldn’t control, until he had to stop. Willy’s heated breath touched his lips, ghosting over them. Reggie froze, holding at bay the urge to take what he wanted. This was a moment of decision, and it had to be Willy’s. He had to make the final move.

  Their lips touched, Willy closing the distance. A frisson of electricity shot between them. Reggie tried to keep the kiss gentle, but Willy pressed closer, so he went with it. His right leg shook slightly with excitement, and Reggie slid a hand down Willy’s back, along the curve, and then down to the top of one of his cheeks. Each step forward was fraught with peril as Reggie inched toward an abyss that there would be no turning back from.

  Somehow he managed to break their kiss. “We need to take things slow, okay?” Reggie’s heart pounded and the thumping rang in his ears. He took a deep breath and held it, hoping to give his head some time to clear from the fog of pure desire that had fallen over it. He blew out the breath he was holding.

  “Yes, slow,” Willy agreed and kissed him again, harder, Willy quivering in Reggie’s arms. Somehow he knew he’d just been lied to, but Reggie was too far gone to care. Willy practically hung off him, making soft noises in the back of his throat, stoking Reggie’s desire by the second. Reggie held him closer, groaning himself as Willy’s cock pressed to his. God, he hated the layers of clothing between them, and yet they were the only things preventing him from throwing Willy over his shoulder, carrying him to the bedroom, and tossing him on the bed. His imagination raced with images of Willy naked on his bed, smiling up at him, pale skin against the burgundy coverlet.

  Reggie stilled and then backed away, his arms slipping from around Willy. “Okay….” Damn, he needed a second, because what the fucking hell? Willy was better than a dose of Viagra, and Reggie needed to be able to think. His rules. Reggie needed to remember the rules. They were there for his safety and future. He wasn’t supposed to be doing this.

  “Okay. I take it this is the ‘taking it slow’ part?” Willy said, his breath coming in soft pants.

  Reggie nodded. “Do you want to watch a movie or something?” He didn’t want Willy to go. “I have some in there if you want to stay. You could pick one out, and I’ll be right back.” He needed a little distance. And a damn beer.

  He got a beer and brought Willy the soda he asked for, then sat next to him on th
e sofa. Reggie thought about taking one of the chairs, but that seemed like a dick move and would send the wrong message. He didn’t want Willy to think he didn’t desire him. The problem was, he was too damned cute for words. “What did you pick?”

  Willy pressed start, and Reggie laughed outright. “A Million Ways to Die in the West?” A slapstick comedy. “I wouldn’t have expected that.”

  “My dad would have a fit if he knew.” Willy rubbed his hands together in delight.

  Reggie took a swig from his bottle of Corona and sat back. As the movie played, they laughed and groaned at some of the jokes together. About halfway through the movie, Willy leaned against him, and Reggie put his arm around Willy’s shoulder. This was so nice, calm, and quiet, gentle… almost domestic.

  “I like this,” Willy whispered as the credits rolled at the end of the movie. “It’s nice just being here with you.” He stretched out on the sofa, reminding Reggie of a cat who had just awakened from a nap.

  When Willy put his arms over his head, his shirt rode up, treating Reggie to the amazing sight of that strip of glorious pale skin just above his belt. Reggie swallowed to keep from drooling, and Willy shifted to get closer.

  “I really do have to go. I have some things I have to do at the church for my dad, and I figure I better break the news to him about my job.” The few hours of relaxation for Willy seemed to be over, and as his nervousness returned, it was palpable.

  “Look, you can use my guest room again if you want.” Reggie knew he was doing the right thing to try to help him. He drew Willy into another hug. “I don’t want you feeling this way.”

  Willy shook his head. “I don’t have an excuse this time, and I need to go home and face my father. There is no other way. It’s a job, after all. It’s not like I’m running away to become a Moonie or something.”

  “Yeah, I bet your father would have a seizure if you did that.”

  Willy’s chuckle morphed into a full-blown laugh. “That vein in his neck would throb and then his head would explode.” He rubbed his hands together. “How fast do you think I can find them?” He was kidding, of course, but it added a few moments of levity. Willy got up, and Reggie did the same, taking care of the bottles and cans, dumping them into the recycling bin.

  “Then you should go. But hopefully I’ll see you soon.” Reggie would have to make sure of it. He walked Willy to the door and said good night before kissing him goodbye. Okay, what started out as a goodbye kiss quickly turned into Reggie pressing Willy to the back of the door in a full-on make-out session that curled his toes. He only pulled away when he ran out of breath. Reggie fumbled a few times getting the door open and stood on the front porch as Willy got in the old car and backed down the drive, then drove away.

  Reggie didn’t close the door until the taillights could no longer be seen. Then he leaned against the back of the door, still breathing heavily, but he couldn’t help smiling. Willy clearly liked him, but he was playing a fairly dangerous game, regardless of how he looked at it. Well, it wasn’t too late yet. He could back away and not see Willy anymore. But Reggie knew that was a stupid notion. His heart was already involved, to a degree, and Reggie wasn’t the kind of guy who backed down from a fight or from what he wanted. He didn’t announce that he was gay, but he wasn’t going to deny it either. It was just that if things progressed with Willy, they were going to come to a crossroads, and both of them were going to have to make some hard decisions.

  Reggie checked his phone, grateful there were no messages or calls. He also called in to the switchboard just to ensure they knew how to get in touch with him if required, and then he turned out the lights, got undressed, and climbed into bed.

  He fell to sleep quickly and was just getting into a wonderful dream starring Willy in a very underdressed state when a persistent beeping pulled him out of it. He snatched his phone off the nightstand and groaned before answering the call as he got dressed once again.

  Chapter 5

  WILLY WENT to work Monday morning. He was nervous but excited. Mr. Webster seemed pleased to have him, and when he showed him the books and what needed to be done, Willy took to it right away. What shocked him more than anything was that his father actually met him that morning and had tea with him before Willy went to work. He hadn’t been upset about the job and seemed sort of proud, which was almost hard for Willy to deal with, because his father had never seemed very proud of him for anything.

  “There’s going to be a lot for you to learn,” Mr. Webster said gently, then took him through all the procedures.

  “This is no problem,” Willy said. He went through the last week’s register receipts, balancing everything with the bank deposits and making sure everything was as it should be. Then he got to work on the rest of the books.

  “Okay, then,” Mr. Webster said that afternoon once Willy had everything entered for the day. He pointed out the weeks’ worth of entries he hadn’t had a chance to make. The computer system the store had was very good and wasn’t hard to learn, just time-consuming. It took Willy two more days to get everything up to date. Mr. Webster was happy, and Willy was pleased. He hadn’t seen Reggie since Friday, though, and missed him. Not that he had any real right to, but he did.

  By the time Willy left work on Wednesday, he was really tired. He had Thursday off because he was going to be working on Saturday with Mr. Webster. Willy was looking forward to going to his room and spending a few quiet hours alone.

  He walked into the house, and his father looked up from his chair, with Mayor Fullerton sitting across from him. It was clear something devastating had happened, but Willy didn’t ask. His father wouldn’t appreciate his curiosity.

  “What am I going to do?” Mayor Fullerton asked, almost begged. “I’ve been able to keep this quiet for now, but it won’t stay that way. You know how people like to talk.”

  “They already are,” his father said, and Willy went through the living room to the kitchen. “I’m afraid it’s all over the church and will have spread through the entire town by tonight.”

  “That sheriff. I swear he has it in for me.”

  His father tsked. “It’s not right to blame someone for doing their job, especially when they aren’t at fault.”

  Willy caught a glimpse of his father’s accusatory gaze leveled at Mayor Fullerton. Whatever had happened that had the mayor so upset, his father clearly thought it was the mayor’s own fault.

  “You let those boys of yours run loose with no supervision. Who knows what kind of influences they’ve allowed into their lives? Clearly you and Shirley didn’t stress to Jamie the necessity of staying on God’s path.”

  Willy sat at the kitchen table while his mother quietly put the finishing touches on dinner. “What happened?” he whispered.

  She shook her head and blushed. He hardened his gaze, and eventually his mother sat beside him, glancing toward the living room. “Jamie was picked up by the police a few days ago for doing something he shouldn’t out at the rest area.” She patted his hand. “You don’t need to worry about it—your father is handling things.”

  “Mom,” he whispered. “You have to have your own opinion about stuff.” He patted her hand in return. “I know you’re smart and worth listening to.” He hated the way she had receded into the woodwork since his brother’s death.

  “He was doing sex stuff with other men,” she whispered into his ear. “The poor dear. He had to hide like that and couldn’t be himself. Your father thinks it’s some bad thing. But….” She stood and went back to work as though she thought she’d said too much. It was the closest to an opinion that differed from his father’s that he could remember from her.

  Willy stood and went behind his mother at the stove, wrapped his arms around her, and whispered that he loved her before leaving the room.

  He went through the living room as quickly and quietly as he could, heading up the stairs. He found Ruthie in Ezekiel’s room, reading him a story. She lifted her gaze worriedly, pausing a few seconds b
efore continuing the story. Willy gave them both a smile, went to his room, and closed the door. He called Reggie. “Is it a good time?” he asked, speaking quietly. “The mayor is here with my dad, and I—”

  Reggie sighed. “I can’t talk right now. But I’ll meet you at the house this evening.” His voice was robotic.

  “Are you alone?” Willy asked.

  “No. Everything is fine. I’ll see you later.” Reggie hung up, and Willy wondered for a second about what he’d been told.

  His mother called him to dinner, and Willy got the others and brought them downstairs. The mayor had left, and all five of them sat down at the table. His father said grace in the usual way and then began passing the food.

  Willy kept his eyes on his plate, glancing at his father to see if he had any pronouncements to make. Instead, his father asked each of them about their day. Willy told him about work and how much he was enjoying it. Ezekiel explained about finding a mouse in the backyard and how he set it free. Ruthie went on and on about everyone she’d seen and spoken with until their father met her gaze sternly, and she immediately grew quiet. From there the meal continued as normal. Willy cleared the dishes and helped his mother with cleanup before excusing himself. He told her he was going to see a friend and hurried out of the house before his father could want him for anything.

  Willy went to his old car. He’d gotten it when he’d gone away to school. Maybe if he did well at work, he could get something better eventually. But Gerty was good enough for now—she got him around.

  The driver’s door squeaked as he pulled it closed, and he was about to drive away when a rap on the passenger window stopped him. He tensed, hoping it wasn’t his father, then lowered the window. “Tony,” Willy said with a smile. “What are you doing here?” He opened his door, got out, and hurried around to the other side of the car to hug his friend tightly. “I thought you were in LA?”