Defy Me

by Gracelyn LeGrand

  “Seriously,” he continued. “Those eyes. Those lips. That body.”

  He bit his lip as if he wanted to pounce on me, and much to my surprise, I could feel myself getting a little stirred up below the belt. I couldn’t believe it, and honestly I was a little angry at myself for letting him get to me like that once again. There was something about him that did that to me.

  I glanced up at him through my alcohol induced stupor and drowned in his dreamy gaze, his dark eyes, his dark, freshly-cut hair, and his leather and denim uniform. The tattoos that peeked out from under his collar only served as a reminder of the wild and crazy nights we’d had.

  I closed my eyes for a brief second as my body remembered what it felt like to have his hands tracing over every inch of me, feeling me up and down, and going into places deep inside me. He knew what he was doing, there was no question, and if things were a little different, I wouldn’t have minded having another go. But I knew I couldn’t trust him. Not sexually. And I didn’t want this to advance into any sort of friendship or relationship. I wanted this to be the last time we saw each other. I wanted him to move on and lose interest, but that all changed the second he got up and slid next to me on my side of the booth.

  “Is it okay if I sit here?” he asked innocently. The smell of leather and woodsy cologne instantly filled the space between us. I could smell the beer on his breath and our eyes connected.

  “Sure,” I said with a hint of reluctance. I didn’t know what he was trying to do, but admittedly I was curious.

  His arm slipped behind me and he held me around my hips. Our eyes locked and before I even realized what was happening, his mouth was on mine.

  It wasn’t a hungry, animalistic kiss. It was the sweetest, most gentle, most tender kiss I’d ever experienced in my life. It wasn’t anything like the way Blaze had kissed me before. I was shocked before as a thousand volts of electricity shot through my body, but I kissed him back. Against my better judgment, my lips moved against his, and soon his tongue made its way between my parted lips.

  I could feel myself melting again into a pile of goo. My body wanted him so bad. My body wanted him to ravish me and use me and fuck me and touch me, but the entire time my head was screaming, “NO!”

  I pulled away from him for just a second and swilled back the rest of my gin and tonic before going right back to his waiting mouth. I slipped my hands up around his face and ran my fingers through his freshly-trimmed locks.

  With every kiss and every reposition and every movement, I could feel myself losing control. I could feel myself giving in to him.

  As the rest of the drink warmed through my body, I was officially drunk. I was losing my inhibition one kiss at a time, and the night became nothing more than one hot, sexy blur.

  CHAPTER 8

  Wednesday morning I woke up with a massive, pounding headache. I had to be to work in a couple of hours, and I knew I was in for a rough day. Doing hair with a major hangover was never a good combination, but I wasn’t going to cancel on my clients. I was booked out for the next six weeks.

  I reached down and pulled the covers over my head to drown out the light that was peering in from the pale blue curtains hanging over my window, and suddenly felt a little resistance. There was someone else in my bed.

  I flipped over to my other side only to see Blaze sleeping soundly on the pillow right next to me.

  “Fucking shit,” I whispered. “Shit, shit, shit.”

  I had no recollection of the night before. I didn’t remember inviting him in. The last thing I remembered was downing my second gin and tonic and making out with him. I hated myself in that moment for letting it go any farther. In my sober mind, I knew I was a big fucking idiot.

  I clenched my legs together to see if there was any soreness below. To my surprise, I felt totally fine. I was almost positive we would’ve had sex had I brought him home, but I didn’t feel like I had.

  Maybe I passed out before it could happen? Or maybe it happened but he was gentle and tender with me, like he was with his kisses?

  Part of me wondered if I was drugged at all. I found it a little alarming that two drinks could get me that far gone, but then again I was drinking on an empty stomach. I’m not a huge drinker or a huge person, so it didn’t really take much to get me two sheets to the wind.

  My mind raced as a million different thoughts flooded through me. I looked over at him. He was still sleeping peacefully, like a little baby.

  As crazy as it seemed, it almost felt good to have someone lying in bed with me. My bed had been empty for so long I’d almost forgotten what it was like. It had been over a year since Jeremy and I had broken up, and I hadn’t had a single guy over since.

  I’d be lying if I didn’t say that a small part of me hoped that Blaze was truly sincere about his apology, that he was being honest, and that he wasn’t a psychotic person who tracked me down like a crazy ex-lover.

  I took a deep breath and cleared my throat, hoping to wake him, but he was still solidly asleep. I crawled out of bed and tiptoed to my bathroom to freshen up. When I was done, I peeked back into my bedroom, but he was still buried under a mountain of covers. I happened to look down on the floor by his side of the bed to see his jeans and jacket and even his boxers piled into a heap on the floor. He was totally sleeping naked in my bed.

  Somehow I was wearing a nightie. He must have dressed me. How cute and not like him. Maybe he really was different that I thought?

  I didn’t want to wake him, but I didn’t want to leave him sleeping in my bed for God knows how long.

  “Blaze?” I called out softly from the doorway.

  “Mmm,” he moaned. He was like a teenager who didn’t want to be woken up.

  “Blaze,” I called out one more time.

  I saw him rustle and stir a bit before pulling the covers up over his head. I figured I’d just leave him be for the time.

  I made my way downstairs, poured myself a bowl of cold cereal, fed the cat, and flipped on the morning network news. I crunched away on my cereal, all the while wondering when the hell he was going to get up. I purposely clinked the spoon on the ceramic bowl and loudly threw it in the sink when I was done. I turned the volume up on the T.V. as well. I wanted to be loud. I wanted him to wake up. I didn’t want him to feel like he could sleep all day in my bed or that we were any sort of couple.

  I cringed when I thought about what I probably said in my drunken stupor the night before. I hoped I didn’t promise him anything or give him false hope, but at that point, I’d never know.

  It wasn’t long before he came trudging down the stairs in nothing but his red, plaid boxers. His abs rippled with every step and his biceps flexed as he hung onto the wood railing. His hair was messy and sticking up every which way, but admittedly he looked like a hot, sexy piece of ass.

  “Hi,” I said as I watched him rub his eyes.

  “Hey,” he grunted in his manly-man voice. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, flung his arms above his head and stretched for several seconds while he let out a huge sigh.

  I wanted to ask him so badly what happened the night before, but I didn’t want him to know for two seconds that I was out of it. I didn’t want him to know that two drinks was all it took to get me to black out an entire night of events. That kind of information would be dangerous in the hands of the wrong person, and as much as I didn’t want to think Blaze was a bad person, the truth was I just didn’t know yet.

  “Do you have any food?” he asked as he patted his stomach.

  “Yeah,” I said. “Mostly cereal. Help yourself.”

  He shuffled his feet to the kitchen where I heard him opening and closing cabinets, pulling milk from the refrigerator and grabbing dishes. He emerged from the kitchen a short while later with a bowl of cold cereal in his giant hands. He made the bowl look tiny as he palmed the underside of it and chomped away at the crunchy, colorful pebbles in the bowl.

  I had to admit he looked pretty cute eating that fruity, kids c
ereal. It almost made him seem a little less scary and a little more normal.

  He finished his cereal in maybe ten bites and sat his dish down on the glass coffee table. He sat back with his arms behind his head and kicked his feet out. He was making himself very much at home, which made me a bit nervous.

  “So,” I said. “What are your plans? Heading back to Tulsa today?”

  I tried to be casual, and I hoped he couldn’t hear the nervousness in my voice. I didn’t want him to know that I wanted him to leave.

  “Um,” he said as he scratched his head and thought about it for a bit. “I guess I didn’t really have plans.”

  “Oh?” I tried not to act like I cared that much.

  “I’m kind of just playing it by ear,” he said.

  “Don’t you have a job or anything back in Tulsa?” I asked, shocked at how lax his schedule seemed to be.

  “Freelance stuff,” he said. “I’m my own boss.”

  “Oh, nice,” I said. “I know what that’s like. But I also know the money doesn’t come unless you’re doing the work…”

  He snickered as if I was some naïve little girl.

  “The money comes,” he said. “Trust me.

  “Well, speaking of money and work and all that,” I said as I stood up. “I have to get ready for work.”

  I lingered for a bit, hoping he’d get the hint and stand up too, but he remained seated on my sofa in his boxers.

  “I’ve got to go to work now,” I said, trying to hint once again. “I’m going to go jump in the shower.”

  “Cool,” he said as he leaned down and reached for the remote. He began flipping through the channels and stopped when he got to some reality show about MMA fighters.

  I was at a loss for words. I didn’t want to turn the situation ugly by demanding that he leave, especially when he was so persistent and could easily over power me, so I tried to act like it didn’t bother me. Once again, I knew if he saw an ounce of fear in my eyes, he’d eat it up. Maybe the nice Blaze was all an act all along.

  My mom had warned me once about sociopaths, and I shuddered to think that there was one sitting on my sofa right then.

  I crept up the stairs and made my way to my bathroom, locking the door behind me and double checking it. I showered as fast as I could, and fortunately I didn’t have to wash my hair, so it saved a lot of time. I dried off and ran to my room to get dressed. I was ready in record time.

  I climbed back down the stairs, hoping that seeing me ready for work would be the hint he needed to get going, but it hardly fazed him.

  “You look nice,” he said as he glanced at me for a split second before his eyes returned to the T.V. screen.

  “Thanks,” I said. “I have to go soon. Did you want to use the shower before I leave?”

  “Nah,” he said. “I’ll shower in a bit.”

  “Oh,” I said. He really wasn’t leaving. “Okay. Um…”

  “I hope it’s cool if I just hang out here for a bit?” he said. He looked up at me with his gorgeous dark, sexy eyes, and for a second I was smitten once again. He was charming when he wanted to be. “I promise I won’t touch anything.”

  He flashed his million dollar smile and raised his hands in the air as if it emphasis that he wouldn’t touch a damn thing.

  I really didn’t have any valuables in the house he could steal, even though that was really the least of my concerns, and I was pretty diligent about shredding all my mail on a regular basis.

  “Um,” I paused. “Okay. I guess.”

  He stood up and walked over to me, slipping his strong arms around my narrow waist. He pulled me in and moved my hair off my shoulder, exposing my neck. He leaned down and kissed my neck softly, innocently, and I let down my guard a little.

  “I’ll be here when you get back tonight,” he said. “Maybe I can take you out to dinner before I leave town? I’m just not ready to leave you yet.”

  The way he said it was sweet and instantly knocked me off my high horse. He just really liked me. He was trying to be sweet, I told myself.

  “Okay,” I said, as I couldn’t help by flash a smile. It felt good to be wanted like that again after spending the last year feeling like someone else’s road kill.

  CHAPTER 9

  I walked out of my townhouse and left Blaze sitting on the sofa watching T.V. It felt so weird to leave him there in my house, and I knew my mom would flip if she ever know. Hell, Tessa and Raquel would have an absolute conniption fit if they even know I was hanging around that guy still, but no one would understand.

  They didn’t know how heartbreakingly lonely I’d been in the last year. They didn’t know how many nights I cried myself to sleep wondering why no one would pay me any attention. I hadn’t even been asked out on a date since Jeremy left me. I was beginning to think I was going to die alone, in my townhouse, with Delilah the cat. A spinster. Me.

  Meeting Blaze, the way it happened, was completely insane and unromantic. I never thought he’d track me down, and as creepy as it was, I was beginning to believe he really just liked me. I had heard all sorts of crazy love stories and how-we-met stories before. I knew people did ridiculously illogical things all in the name of finding love. Maybe Blaze just wanted someone to love? Maybe he was as lonely as I was?

  I tried to make sense of everything in my head as I drove to work. The sun seemed a little brighter that day and the birds seemed to be chirping a little more. Everything was in Technicolor.

  The fact that Blaze wouldn’t leave was starting to bother me less and less. I truly believed he just wanted to spend a little more time with me, and I was okay with that. As long as I kept my guard up and didn’t let it down too much, I’d be fine. I knew I still needed to figure him out, but I wasn’t going to discard him just yet. I was too intrigued.

  “What’s up with you today?” Tess asked as I walked in. “It’s like you have stars in your eyes or something.”

  “Yeah, you walked in here with a giant smile on your face,” Raquel chimed in. “I’ve never seen you smile before nine a.m. before.”

  “It’s nothing,” I said as I tried to wave them off.

  “I don’t buy it for one second,” Tess said as she looked me up and down. She stood with her hand on one hip and her other hand holding a sharp pair of shears in the air.

  “Tess, your client is here,” the receptionist interrupted. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. “Molly, so is yours.”

  We slipped on our aprons, greeted our clients and got busy. I couldn’t have been more grateful to have a booked schedule that day. I crossed my fingers and hoped that no one cancelled or no-showed. I didn’t want to explain to Tess and Raquel that for the first time in over a year, I didn’t feel lonely.

  They would never understand why I was giving Blaze a chance. They were too by-the-book. They were too proper. Their husbands worked in banking and I.T. They had fabulously boring lives with kids and SUVs and houses in the suburbs. I loved them both, but their judgments had no bearings in my life.

  “What’s up with you today?” My third client of the day asked. She was a saucy, middle-aged, redheaded mother of four who always told it like it was. “You dating someone? You seem like you’re in that honeymoon phase right now.”

  My cheeks reddened. “No, I’m not dating anyone.”

  I glanced around the room to make sure Tess and Raquel weren’t in earshot. Fortunately they were both out of sight.

  “There’s this guy,” I started as a smile spread across my face.

  “I knew it!” my client shouted.

  “Shh!” I hushed her with a laugh. “He’s crazy about me, but I can’t figure him out. I don’t know if he’s crazy in a good way or crazy in a bad way.”

  “Molly, sweetie, listen,” my client began. “When I first met my husband twenty years ago, he was so freaking annoying. He was clingy. He was obsessed with me. He showed up at my parents’ ice cream shop all the time hoping to catch me when I was working. He was seriously crazy about me
.”

  “Go on,” I said, curious.

  “I finally gave him a chance and realized he was really sweet,” she said with a sincere smile. She clasped her hand over her heart. “And he’s been the most amazing father and husband I could’ve ever dreamed of.”

  “That’s really sweet,” I said. “Wow.”

  “Just imagine where I’d be now had I not given him a shot,” she said with raised eyebrows. “Who knows what asshole I’d be with now? Heck, I might even be on husband number three for all I know.”

  I laughed as I snipped away and clumps of red hair fell to the ground. Many of my clients told me I was like their own personal therapist, but sometimes they were like my own personal therapist too.