Look Always Forward (Bellingwood Book 11)

by Diane Greenwood Muir

After she dropped Kayla off, Rebecca climbed into the front seat. "You have fun with your friends, don't you?" Rebecca asked.

  "They're nuts, but I love them."

  "Do you think Kayla and I will always be friends?"

  "I think you have a good chance. But you'll make new friends as you grow up. You'll meet people in high school and more when you get to college and then when you start working. You'll never stop making friends."

  "Kinda like you and Joss?"

  "Exactly like that. I don't see my high school friends very often, but when I do, I still love them. Our lives just changed and we weren't together all the time. Sal's the only friend I see from college, but if she hadn't moved to Bellingwood, we wouldn't see each other that often."

  "And that's okay? I'd miss Kayla if I couldn't see her."

  "It's always okay to miss friends you aren't with," Polly said. "But you can't focus on that or you'll miss out on getting to know other wonderful people."

  "Like you," Rebecca said. "I have so much fun with you."

  "And I do with you, too," Polly replied. "I would have been a different person if you weren't in my life."

  "I miss Mom, but it isn't as terrible as I was afraid it would be." The light from the street lamp illuminated tears on Rebecca's face.

  "Do you feel guilty about that?" Polly asked quietly.

  "Sometimes. For a long time I thought that it was bad that I was having fun again. Everybody kept asking me if I was okay or if I was sad. And I was okay. I think they wanted me to be sadder than I was. Mom was so sick and she hurt all the time. I didn't want her to stay alive when she felt like that."

  Polly pulled into the driveway and pressed the button to raise the garage door. She drove in and turned off the truck. "Your feelings are yours. They're okay no matter what. Other people don't want to lose that feeling of sadness because it reminds them of the person they lost. That's okay too. When it comes to death and living without someone we love, feelings are going to be very different and very personal. Whatever you feel is okay."

  "I'm glad Mom made me live with you before she died. That made it easier," Rebecca said. "It would have been bad to just move in that first night."

  "Your mom was an amazing woman," Polly said. "She loved you with everything she had."

  "I love her too."

  "I know you do."

  "But it's okay that I love you. Mom told me that I had enough love for as many people as I wanted to love."

  Polly smiled. "She was right. That's a great way to look at it."

  Rebecca opened the car door. "Look at us," she said. "Talking about this stuff and not crying on the side of the road. I'm proud of us. We're growing up."

  Polly laughed out loud. "You're a nut, girl. And I love you."

  "Do you want me to walk the dogs tonight?"

  "Nah," Polly said. "Send them down. I ate so much, I should at least get a little exercise. Tell Henry I'll be back in a few minutes."

  The dogs ran down. Han waited patiently for the leash. Polly didn't feel like being on top of his behavior tonight, so leash it was. She walked back into the garage and jumped when Obiwan barked. He rushed toward the back of the garage.

  They'd emptied most everything from her father's home, except for a few stacks of boxes. Slowly but surely, she was making her way through them, but it felt like a never ending process.

  "What are you doing?" she asked.

  Han growled as Obiwan's barking grew louder and more insistent.

  "Obiwan. Come," Polly commanded. She wanted to get him out of there and back inside. Someone or something was hiding behind her boxes and she didn't want her dog in trouble.

  "It's just me," a husky voice said and Heath Harvey stood up.

  Polly pulled Han back and said again, "Obiwan. Come here."

  "I won't hurt him. I won't hurt you either."

  "What are you doing in my garage?" she asked. "Aren't the police looking for you?"

  He rolled his eyes. "That's why I'm in your garage."

  "Obiwan. Come." This time, Polly snapped the words out and her dog obeyed. He trotted to her side, trying to keep an eye on the young man at the same time. "I don't know why you've chosen my garage to hide in, but I'm the wrong person to mess with."

  "Yeah. Whatever. I'll get out of your hair."

  Polly opened the door to the storage room and pushed the dogs inside, then pulled the door shut again. "Why did you choose my garage tonight?"

  He snarled at her. "The door was open. Nobody would think to look in the great Polly Giller's garage for a loser like me. You'd never have anything to do with me."

  "I don't have much to do with losers," she said. "But that seems to be your choice, not a general assumption by society."

  "Well, I'm a loser and I'd better go."

  "Wait a minute. Where will you go from here?"

  He shrugged. "I dunno. I may as well leave town. My uncle will beat the hell out of me and probably kick me out anyway."

  "He beats you?"

  The kid shook his head. "No, but after tonight he won't hold back. He hates me. I'm surprised he hasn't kicked me out."

  "I doubt he hates you," Polly said. "From what I understand, he took you in even though he never had kids around before."

  Heath looked up at her. "He said it. He told me that if I'd been in the car with my parents, I would have died too and then he wouldn't have to be responsible for me. He calls me a hoodlum and says I'm an embarrassment."

  Polly pursed her lips. "I don't think he's wrong about the last part. You've been acting like a hoodlum this summer and I'm sure it's been quite embarrassing for your aunt and uncle. You know that you are responsible to people other than yourself, right?"

  "Well, he should be responsible to me, don't you think?"

  "That's crap. He takes care of you, gives you a roof over your head and puts food on the table for you. He doesn't embarrass you or talk bad about you to other people. He is responsible to you."

  "Take his side. Everybody always does. You're just like them."

  "Probably," Polly said. "Why would you think I'm any different."

  He looked away and started to walk toward the open garage door. "No reason."

  "Stop," she said. "Tell me why you think I'm different." Polly moved to intercept him before he could leave.

  "Just people talking," he muttered.

  Polly finally got close enough to touch his arm. He flinched and stepped back.

  "What do people talk about?" she asked quietly.

  "That you listen and don't judge. Everybody thinks I'm a bad kid."

  "I think you're a bad kid," she said. "You pissed me off when you tried to intimidate me. You had no right. Who in the hell do you think you are?"

  "It was just a thing."

  "It was just a what thing?" she demanded. "Were you trying to impress those boys you were with? What else? Did you think that if you hurt me you would prove how strong you were? I'm a girl. You're bigger than me. What does that prove?"

  "Nothing," he said, keeping his head down. "It was stupid."

  "Damn right it was stupid. Why did you do it?"

  "Because."

  "Because why? That's not a good answer." She spat the word. "Because. That's no answer at all."

  "Because Ladd said."

  "If Ladd told you to jump off..." Polly stopped herself with a chuckle. Such a well-worn phrase. She just couldn't bring herself to repeat it. "What else has Ladd told you to do?"

  Heath looked up at her, panic in his eyes. "I didn't do it," he said. "I swear I didn't do it." He ran out of the garage before she could catch him.

  Polly followed, putting on speed, trying to keep up with this kid who was so much bigger. But he didn't have the advantage of months of running with her dogs. As he crossed the parking lot, she caught up and grabbed his sleeve.

  "Why are you chasing me?" he asked, coming to a stop.

  "Because you're running away. Now tell me what has you so shaken up."

  "I can't
."

  Polly took a long, deep breath, keeping her hand on his sleeve. "Come inside with me. Whatever it is that has you so upset, you need to tell someone and apparently tonight, that someone is me. You came to my place because you want to tell me. Am I right?"

  "No," he said, his eyes alight with fear. "I don't want to tell you any of this."

  "Come on. You're going inside. I'm not standing out here on the road while you hem and haw about whether or not you're going to finally spill whatever is eating you up."

  He looked up at the lights on in her apartment. "Are there people up there?"

  "My husband and our daughter."

  "Then I'm not going. This was a bad idea." He tried to pull away.

  Polly held tight and tugged him toward Sycamore House.

  "Lady, I'm stronger than you."

  "Uh huh. Come on."

  She practically dragged him to the front door of the building, waited as it unlocked and then took him inside. When they got to the stairway, he stopped. "I'm not going up there."

  "Look," Polly said, still holding on to his shirt. "I've had a long few days. I'm tired of arguing with you. We can continue this as long as you like, but here's how it's going to go down. You'll say no and I'll push a little harder. You'll keep saying no and I'll keep pushing. And at some point, I'm going to win. It's what I do. You came to my place for help. I'm going to give it to you and at this point you can't stop me. Let's skip past all of the saying no and pushing and move ahead to your acquiescence. Okay?"

  "You're crazy."

  "That I am. No one will disagree with you. Now, head up those steps. I don't want to go through this up and down stuff with you any longer tonight. Move."

  He trudged up the first few steps while Polly watched.

  "I'm just going to make sure you don't back out. Keep going," she said. "I'll be right behind you."

  When he got to the top of the steps, she took his arm, opened the front door and led him inside.

  "Polly?" Henry asked coming out from the kitchen. "Who's... oh. Okay. Where are the dogs?"

  "They're downstairs by the back door. Would you mind?" she asked.

  "You're going to explain all of this to me later?"

  Polly chuckled. "Sooner rather than later, I'm guessing. Where's Rebecca?"

  "She's in her room. Something about friends and crying. I didn't understand it all."

  "We'll be in the kitchen when you come back. You're welcome to join us. I think Heath has a story to tell."

  "Okay," Henry said with hesitation. "Are you sure you're okay?"

  "Yeah. I'm okay," she said. "Thanks."

  Heath stood waiting at the front door. Polly took his arm and led him into the kitchen, then pointed at a stool in front of the peninsula. He sat down and she went over to the refrigerator.

  "Something to drink?"

  Luke jumped up and wandered over to sniff at the stranger. Heath reached out and let the cat sniff the back of his hand, then slowly moved it so he could scratch Luke's head. He ran his hand down the cat's back and up his tail, then repeated the motion. Soon, Luke was purring and flopped down in front of the boy.

  Polly filled a glass with ice and lemonade and took a container of cookies out of the freezer. "I love frozen chocolate chip cookies," she said. "Have you eaten anything tonight?"

  He shook his head, all the while focused on the cat in front of him.

  "I have cold chicken in here. Would you eat a couple of pieces?"

  "I'm fine."

  She took the container of chicken out and dug around to find leftover fried potatoes. Henry had sliced the corn off the cob, so she put some of each on a plate and put it in the microwave. When it came out, she put two pieces of grilled chicken on the plate and set it down beside the cat.

  "He'll go away if you put him on the floor," she said. "He's actually quite polite about the whole thing, but if you want him to stay close, he's always glad for the attention."

  "What's his name?" Heath asked.

  "That's Luke and the other cat is Leia. The two dogs are Obiwan and Han. Obiwan was the one who found you in the garage."

  "Weird names."

  "Star Wars. You've never seen that movie?"

  "I don't watch movies."

  "I see." Polly scooted the cat down and pushed the plate in front of Heath, then handed him a fork and a napkin. "Eat and I don't want to go through the whole arguing thing. Remember. I'm going to win. You might as well just start caving in now."

  "You're pushy."

  "That's not new information," she said with a laugh. "Now eat. Because I think you're going to need a full stomach to tell me whatever it is you have to tell me."

  He was only about halfway through the plate of food in front of him when the two dogs came barreling in from Henry's office. Obiwan sniffed at Heath's legs and looked up at Polly.

  "He's fine. We invited him in," she said to the dog. She took two treats from the cupboard and handed them to Heath. "Give one to each of the dogs. It will help them get to know you."

  He looked at her in wonder, took the treats and then got down from his stool and handed the first to Obiwan and the second to Han, rubbing each of their heads before standing back up. "They're good dogs."

  "Yes they are." She nodded to the plate. "Finish your food. You're about to have to spill your guts."

  He looked at her.

  "No, there won't be any arguing. You're beginning to learn, aren't you?"

  "Yes ma'am."

  She smiled. She so badly wanted to pat him on the head, but they weren't there yet. This poor boy desperately needed someone to talk to. If it was going to be her, then she was just going to have to suck it up and do her thing.

  Henry came in. "I shut the garage up. Right?"

  "Yes. We're in for now," she said. "Thank you for doing that."

  He came over and stood beside her, wrapping his arm around her waist. "What do we have here?" he asked.

  "I'm not sure yet." Polly watched Heath take a final bite. "Drink your lemonade. I'll refill it before we get started. Then you can work on the cookies."

  Heath glanced at Henry, then back to Polly and took a drink from the glass. Polly poured more into it, then looked at Henry, asking the question.

  "I'm fine," he said. "I've had plenty. So conversation in here or on the couch."

  She picked up the container of cookies and said. "Let's get comfortable. This is going to take a while. Take your glass, Heath."

  He picked up his glass and followed them into the media room. Henry gestured to the sofa and Heath sat down, putting his glass on the table in front of him. Polly put the cookies down beside the glass.

  "Now," she said. "You came here for a reason. I've fed you, I've tormented you, and I've made you crazy. It's your turn."

  "He'll kill me."

  "Who will kill you?" Henry asked.

  "Ladd Berant. I'm not supposed to tell anyone anything.

  Polly dropped her head, shaking it in mock frustration. "Remember," she said quietly. "I always win. Just start talking."

  "He killed those girls."

  Both she and Henry sat back. Neither of them expected to hear that.

  "Ladd Berant killed Julie Smith and Abby Belran?" Polly asked with a gasp. "Why?"

  Heath swallowed hard and put his hand over his mouth. "I'm gonna puke."

  Polly jumped up and opened the door into the bathroom. "Right in here."

  He rushed in and shut the door. She and Henry listened as he vomited over and over. They waited until the toilet flushed and they heard the water turn on in the sink. When he finally came back out, his face was red and his eyes were swollen.

  Heath sat back down and Obiwan jumped up to sit beside him, nuzzling his hand until he started stroking the dog's back.

  "I'm sorry I forced so much food down you," Polly said.

  "It's okay." He looked up. "It hadn't had much time to process."

  She tried to stop the chuckle, but couldn't. "I guess not. Can you go on?"r />
  He nodded, his hand stroking Obiwan's back. The dog moved in and lay his head across Heath's lap. "We were messing around up town. Ladd always tests the doors. The coffee shop was open, so we went in. He told us to mess it up, so we did. Pulled books off the shelves. Just messed it up. Then the girl came in. She got mad and told us to leave. Ladd got all up in her business and started pushing her. She yelled at him and he grabbed that stick out of the pot by the door. He threatened her and backed her up through the building. I thought he was just going to do what he always does. He always gets mouthy, but walks away."

  He drew in a breath and stopped, concentrating on the dog.

  "The girl got pissed and said she was going to call the police." Heath shuddered. "Do you know what it sounds like when somebody's head gets smashed? It was horrible. He took her outside and then hit her in the head over and over and she fell down beside the dumpster. Ladd wiped his fingerprints off the stick and then we all ran away."

  "Who is 'we all'?" Polly asked.

  "That's the thing," he said.

  "What's the thing?"

  "Abby was with us. She was scared. She dated Ladd sometimes. Her dad didn't like him, but he's never around. She thought Ladd was cool, but he always got her in trouble."

  Polly nodded. "Abby threatened to tell the police, didn't she?"

  "She said she wouldn't at first. Ladd promised all kinds of stuff. They'd go to prom together and he'd buy her things." He shook his head. "He wasn't going to. He just wanted her to calm down. She was okay for a few days, but then she started talking about it. I told her to shut up. Ladd freaked out and I didn't know what he'd do."

  "How do you know that it was him who killed her?" Henry asked.

  "He told me the next day. Told me that if I even thought about talking about it, he'd do the same thing to me. He said how he went over there and she made him promise to talk to somebody." Heath shuddered. "He said if he hadn't killed her, he should have made her pregnant, so she owed him."

  "That's ridiculous," Polly said under her breath.

  "Ladd's out of control. Tonight he made us steal that lady's purse. He's trying to get money to get out of town. He told me that if we didn't get him five hundred dollars, he was going to make us regret it."

  "We need to call Aaron," Henry said. "Do you know where Ladd is hiding?"