A Life Like Mine

by Jorie Saldanha

  “Quiet. I’ll go right over to the senior section of the cafeteria and yell ‘I’m not a senior and I’m in black’ and we’ll just see what they’ll do,” Ben raised his arms to silence us, and looked directly at Jennifer. He went over to the senior section just like he said he would.

  Our school has this thing about separating into classes. The seniors get the biggest chunk of space to sit, the juniors get the second most, and so on. Obviously, the freshmen practically get zilch. If you even tried to sit in the other sections, you’d get pushed out because that wasn’t where you were supposed to go. Although this wasn’t really done all that much unless you went into the sophomore’s section or the senior section and you were a freshmen. I talked about this with Allie once and she told me something that I thought made total sense. There’s a little description that goes with every class.

  Freshmen- They are scared to death of all of the older people, yet they make big talk when they are challenged. Most of them have a scared wide-eyed look to them that makes them easy to point out. That and their height help others determine what year they are.

  Sophomores- They are the major buttheads of the school. They’re so happy that they’re not freshmen anymore that they treat the freshmen like scum. Even though they themselves are still scum because they’re not upper classmen yet, they still think they’re all high and mighty. If you looked up in dictionary what “sophomore” meant, you’d see the words “foolish” and “moron.” It’s true. Funny how that definition so accurately illustrates them, isn’t it?

  Juniors- These are the people that really don’t bother anybody. (Kind of like the third tier of my social cake.) The juniors don’t torture freshmen because they’re just too happy that they are finally upper classmen to notice the little people.

  Seniors- These people are kind of a hit or miss. They’re either as a whole nice, or as a whole major pains. They really don’t care much about age politics. It’s the sophomores that really hype it up.

  Anyway, Ben sauntered over to the senior section and yelled what he said he would. People looked at him for a moment, and then they returned to the conversations they were having. Ben came back to us and gave Jennifer a see-I-told-you-so nod. She frowned and walked off to go to her locker when the skank patrol walked by us.

  “Sleaze alert,” I whispered to Allie and Tina. They both laughed and we started to talk about things that didn’t matter to look as if we hadn’t noticed they were walking by.

  “Ashley,” Lena’s cold voice called my name. I kept on talking to my friends as if I hadn’t heard her. “I’m talking to you, tramp!” All the guys’ ears perked up to see what was going to go on.

  My head swiveled so quickly in her direction that I’d thought I had gotten whiplash. “What did you call me?”

  “You heard me,” Lena smirked at me. “Hi, boys!”

  “Hi!” All the guys said simultaneously. They were just a little too eager when they did this.

  “Are you wearing black?” Lena looked my outfit up and down.

  “You’re point?”

  “Nothing, I just would hate to see all my friends make your little outfit shrink because they pummeled you with water balloons.”

  “You have friends?” I asked her with amazement.

  “Whatever. Just watch your back,” Lena inspected her nails.

  “Oh, what are you going to do to me?” I met her eyes.

  “Don’t try and get in my way. You’ve done that before. Did it end well for you?” She sneered.

  “Did it end well for you?” I asked.

  “Of course it did. I won.”

  “This isn’t a game, Lena. Grow up.”

  “That’s what it’s always been, Sweetie.”

  “Don’t call me that! You’ve always done that, and I hate it.”

  “I know, Ashley, and that’s the main reason why I do it.”

  “Move on! I’m sick of fighting with you.” I rolled my eyes.

  “This isn’t about what you want anymore. I’m going to get you back and there’s nothing that you can do to stop me.”

  I changed the subject, “Lena, I like your outfit. I didn’t know it was Super Hero Day! You make a great Slut Woman.”

  “Excuse me?” Lena looked at me, moving her neck into one of those valley-girl-with-an-attitude stances. You know, the kind where you say, “Don’t go there girlfriend,” and snap your fingers.

  “Oh, I’m sorry! That’s not a costume? You could’ve fooled me,” I gave her a sarcastic smile.

  “Well, don’t we have the little comedian over here? Do you do finger puppets too?” Lena’s eyes narrowed challengingly.

  “Funny, Lena. I’m sure you’re full of great comebacks. You see I’m just too distracted by that huge zit on your nose to answer,” I tapped on my own nose mockingly.

  “You’re lying.” She looked down at her nose, unintentionally crossing her eyes. “I’m going to get you back for what you did to me at last week’s football game,” Lena covered her nose, and hurriedly walked away. “You rock! How can you go face-to-face against Lena like that?” Tina asked me.

  “It’s easy when you know her weaknesses,” I replied.

  “Why didn’t you keep her over here? I think she was really diggin’ me!” Big Al scolded me.

  “I’m so sure! How can any woman resist?” I puckered my lips then broke out into laughter.

  “You shouldn’t make fun of her like that. She’s a really nice person once you get to know her,” Jack defended.

  “Oh you mean once you get past the fake boobs and fake smile?” Betty asked, and then giggled.

  “Betty!” Jack got really angry. “You don’t know anything about her. Don’t be so judgmental.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know that you cared that much. I-” Betty’s eyes widened and started to fill with tears.

  “Well, I do!” Jack walked off leaving all of us sitting there wondering why he had gotten so mad. He usually was the only guy that would join us in insulting her.

  “What was his problem?” I asked after a long stretch of silence.

  “I think he has a crush on her,” Allie said quietly.

  “What? No! He couldn’t like her. It’s just not possible.” Betty’s words spilled out of her mouth as she abruptly got up and scurried away.

  “Okay is it just me or are the dramatics here a little overwhelming?” Tad asked, taking a bite out of an orange.

  “I guess!” Keri answered. At that moment I realized that Betty still liked Jack. I didn’t know how I could help, but there had to be something that I could do. Nobody really knew what to say after that. I was stuck puzzling over a way to get Betty to feel better. Maybe somehow get her over liking Jack, because he obviously had gotten a major crush on Lena.

  The rest of the day I noticed that Jack wasn’t coming over to talk to everyone like he usually did, and Betty was nowhere to be found. Every time I saw Lena walk I gave her the meanest look I could. It was as if she was trying to steal Jack away from Betty. Even though Betty and Jack never went out or even said they like each other, we all just figured that someday they would. I kept thinking about this over and over as I walked to my next class. I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about it. Suddenly I fell to the floor and all my books followed. I looked up to see what I had crashed into.

  “I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to…”

  “Hey, I know you!” I said. “You’re the guy from the principal’s office with the pink Mohawk, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah. You were right about my sentence right down to the last detention,” He answered me.

  “But where’s your Mohawk?” I looked at him inquiringly. He no longer had pink hair either. Now he had flat blonde hair that was cut in a kind of Brad Pitt (in his good years) fashion.

  “Oh…” He touched his head. “My parents made me cut it and dye it back to a close color. Miss Rosemary called them and told them what I did. So besides all the detentions and the paper, I’m grounded at home with extra ch
ores.”

  “Wow that really stinks. I’m sorry,” I looked at him. It’s amazing how less freakish he looked. He was almost human.

  “It’s not like it’s your fault. What happened to you?”

  “Oh, I got out of it. Miss R. didn’t want to deal with me.”

  “Lucky.”

  “Yeah, I guess. So you don’t get to do anything besides go to school and go home?” I asked.

  “Well, I’m allowed to go to homecoming, but who wants to go to that?”

  “I’m going because I love dancing, but you should go just because then you don’t have to be at home doing chores, you know?” I said.

  “Yeah. You’re probably right,” He looked at his watch just as the bell rang. He looked around and noticed that the hallways were cleared of people. “Oh man! I’m late. You know what that means? Another detention is headed my way. Later,” He started running as I did the same in the opposite direction. For some reason it struck me as odd to see that guy at school. He seemed so familiar. It didn’t make very much sense, but I felt like I knew him. He even looked like someone I knew.

  “You’re late, Ashley. Do you have a pass?” My English teacher, Mr. Backs asked me. He was by far the hottest teacher in the school. He had been teaching for three years and now was twenty-eight years old. He’d won the “Best Male Teacher Award” every year he’d been there. Although I thought it was very unfair of him to expect all the girls to pay attention. It’s just not right. How are the girls supposed to get good grades when all they can do it sit and drool? Oddly enough, every girl had an A in the class. He must have given them a reason to do well, and whatever it was, it was working.

  “No, Mr. Backs. I don’t. I got bumped in the hallway. My books and papers flew everywhere. So I had to spend the time to retrieve all of them. I’m sorry I’m late,” I apologized.

  “Well, you will be while you’re in Saturday detention,” He answered.

  “What? But I-” My mouth hung open in pure shock.

  “Please sit down so you won’t further disrupt my class.” He motioned towards my chair.

  “That’s not where I sit,” I protested.

  “We changed seating arrangements. Everyone got to choose where he or she sat, but you wouldn’t know that because you were tardy. Sit.” Mr. Backs requested.

  Man this was harsh! I couldn’t believe that being tardy once got me into so much trouble. “Yes, Sir.” I said. Of all the days to put us in a new seating arrangement. I looked around the room and found Allie, Tom, Tina, and Keri. I caught Allie’s eyes and I saw her mouth say “I’m sorry!” so I mouthed back that it was all good. Even though it wasn’t!

  I was sitting next to Spock himself! Ewwww! It was Alan Carson. Let me just assure you that he was most definitely in the geek tier. Alan was always weird. He was wearing fake Spock ears and the whole Spock ensemble in black. It was weird how he had the guts to wear black.

  As I sat down next to him, he said, “Hello, Earthling. I greet you in peace.” He made the little “go in peace” hand gesture.

  “Right…” I answered him.

  “I was Spock’s second cousin removed in another life. I’m enlightened in the ways of the world. I know all of my past and future lives. I believe you are Ashley, am I correct?”

  “Right…” I said again. I turned towards Mr. Backs and kind of zoned out Alan.

  “You and I will be husband and wife in a future life,” I heard Alan say after he had been going on for a while. “You and I will live on planet Zenith. You will be the sister-in-law of Spock, and I will once again be like Spock in appearance.”

  “You are so mental! There is no Spock! He’s just a character on TV. He never did exist and he never will exist. Please stop bothering me. It’s really creepy!” I said a little too loud. The whole class looked at me.

  “Ashley, stay after class. We need to talk,” Mr. Backs gave me a serious look and continued on talking.

  “You’re not being too nice today!” Alan whispered to me. “You used to be really nice to me. Why aren’t we friends anymore?”

  “I’m really sorry, Alan. This day is just turning out to be rotten. I didn’t mean to take it out on you, but you really need to tone down the Spock thing.”

  “The information you have presented to me will not have been given in vain.” I guess that was Alan’s way of forgiving me, which I was glad he did. He may be a weird geek, but he’s nice. The end of the day bell sounded so I stayed seated to have my talk with Mr. Backs.

  “Mr. Backs, I’m really sorry I was late. I didn’t mean to, and I can promise you it won’t happen again. I also didn’t mean to yell in class today. It’s just been a rough day,” I finished my apology.

  “Apology accepted. I’m sorry I was so rough on you in class. You don’t actually have detention, but I couldn’t just let the rest of the students think that if you have a good excuse, you’re out of trouble. I know you’re an honest person so I’ll let it go this time. I know it won’t occur again. Just don’t tell anyone about this and we’ll pretend it never happened, okay?”

  “Yes! Thank you very much!” I smiled at him, picked up my books and headed for my locker. Nothing at all had happened to me all day concerning me wearing black. I laughed at how stupid some people were for being so scared. I saw Betty and the rest of the girls heading towards the exit. “Hey, Bet!” I yelled to her.

  Betty turned to me, “Hey, Ash! What’s up?”

  “Not much, but are we all going to homecoming together?”

  “Yeah. It’s this Saturday. My mom is coming around to pick everyone up around 6:30, okay?” Betty turned to the rest of the girls and then looked at me.

  “Okay. See you guys later.” I kept walking to my locker. Hopefully, Jack would be there. (His locker was right next to mine.) I wanted to ask him about this morning. I headed for my locker. I couldn’t believe what I saw. It was Jack, but he was with someone. I couldn’t tell who it was but that was probably because his face was plastered to hers. Disgusting. As he came up for air, he went to get a book from his locker, I saw that the girl, who was the center of Jack’s attention was Lena!

  “Jack!” I couldn’t hold back.

  He turned around, “Oh, hi. What’s going on, Ashley?”

  “Nothing, but apparently something is with you. What are you doing?” I asked.

  “Getting my books…is that unusual?” He looked at me questioningly.

  “No you and…and…” I couldn’t say it.

  “Me?” Lena giggled with pleasure. “I was kissing my boyfriend, if it’s any of your business.” She looked at me with triumphant eyes and stroked Jack’s arm.

  “What? You’re kidding me. Jack, this has got to be a joke. Good one! You almost had me there!” I started to laugh.

  Looking at me seriously, Jack said, “There’s nothing funny about it. I like Lena, and she likes me. You’re going to have to get used to it. You’ll be seeing a lot of her and me together. She and I are going to homecoming together.” He put his arm around her waist. (Excuse me while I go and vomit!)

  My throat got really dry. This couldn’t be happening, “Lena, how could you do this! You’re doing it again. If you want to torture someone, at least let it be me,” My voice wavered.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lena answered, innocently. She kissed Jack.

  “You don’t like him! You’re just trying to get back at me!”

  “How could you say something like that? Jack is adorable!” Lena put her head in the curve of Jack’s shoulder. “I’ve got to go, lover!” She walked off. (Again, I think I’m going to puke.)

  “You think that she’d only like me to get back at you?” His eyes were wild with fury.

  “Jack, you can’t do this.”

  “Says who? I like her. You can’t stop me!” He objected.

  “What about Betty?”

  “What about her? If you think Lena is just doing this because she wants to get at you, you’re wrong. Lena likes me for
me. Get over yourself,” Jack walked away, slamming his locker.

  I sat there in disbelief. I knew Lena was awful, but to do this to one of my closest friends was even beneath her. I didn’t know what to do. As I left, I heard a group of girls laughing. (You know, the unnaturally high cackling sounds that come from girls.) I thought maybe that it was my friends, so I went to go check it out. Instead of seeing my friends, I saw Lena, Liz, that other girl that I never knew her name, and Alan.

  “Why are you looking at us, geek?” Liz asked.

  “Sorry, I didn’t know I was.” He answered.

  “Oh, you knew you were. Why?” Lena inquired.

  “Well…there was a reason…um…Jill?” Alan said. (I guess Jill was the name of the other girl.)

  “What do you want?” Jill said hotly.

  “Would you like to go to Homecoming dance with me?” He looked so nervous. I felt bad for him.

  “With you?” Jill questioned in disbelief. The girls started laughing hysterically. “Why would I ever go out with you? You’re a major loser. Gross!

  “Oh. I’m sorry I bothered you,” Alan turned around.

  “Oh, Alan?” Lena said.

  “Yes?” He turned back hopefully. Then the girls pelted him with water balloons. I watched in horror. I couldn’t move. It was as if I was paralyzed. He started crying, and he fell to the floor. He was soaked. As if that wasn’t bad enough, they threw a few eggs at him too. With each thing that hit him, Alan shrieked even louder. For a moment it looked like he had stopped moving, but then he’d try to get up and they would hit him again. Each time they hit him, they’d laugh more. They’d say more vile things that would make him feel worse.

  “That’s what you get for asking me out, you pathetic loser!” Jill screamed with laughter.

  “Think twice before wearing black, Spock!” Lena wailed in joy.

  “Oh my gosh. He’s crying! The loser is crying! Cry some more you baby!” Liz added.

  I got up and ran towards them, “Cut it out!” I screamed. They looked at me in surprise. I helped Alan to his feet. “Are you okay?” I asked him.

  “I think so,” He whispered.