The Melody In My Head (Love and Music in Texas Book 2)

by Nikki Lynn Barrett

  The one she gave him came as a surprise.

  She bowed her head, avoiding his stare. "You're right. I should never have said those things, and I sure as hell should have known what your life has been like. I'm really sorry, Jameson. I've been a selfish bitch. I've got the worst stubborn pride ever and you've suffered plenty over it."

  She couldn't have hit it on the head any harder, but he wasn't about to rub her face in it. He saw the hurt in her eyes before she turned away. He didn't want to add to her pain with any nasty words.

  "What's been happening, Jameson? With everything? Mom? You and Avery?"

  Jameson reached for her and hugged her tight. "Let's go sit down. There's quite a bit to tell you."

  They sat at the table for over an hour talking. He filled her in on everything with their mom. Then the conversation turned to Avery.

  "Now I feel even worse. All of that was on the news and I never once paid attention. I mean, I saw a few things about Belinda Wainscott reuniting with her daughter, but never gave it another thought. It's Avery? Wow." Blaine shook her head, running a hand through her hair in a state of disbelief. "What happened with you two? I never imagined you and Avery not being together after you finally admitted to her how you felt about her."

  "Things change," Jameson said quickly, not really wanting to get on the subject of Lea and that night. "We're still close, and her fiancé Lucas is a good friend."

  "Yeah, but..." Blaine's voice trailed off. "Sorry. If it's too hard to talk about, I don't want to push. I'm trying to wrap my mind around all this. That's what I get for staying away for so long. I've had my own things to deal with, but I should have paid closer attention to things at home. And I know no amount of apologizing is going to make up for that. You shouldn't have had to deal with this on your own, no matter how frustrated Mom makes me."

  "She'll be surprised to see you tomorrow."

  Blaine laughed. Jameson detected a hint of bitterness. "Yeah, she definitely will. I don't know if she'll be too happy."

  "She hasn't been happy in months, Blaine," Jameson said softly. "And you'd be surprised at how much she misses you. Some days, it's like I didn't matter. She grieves over Dad, and she grieves over being out of touch with you."

  "Of course you matter!" Blaine protested.

  "Not trying to be mean, sis, but you weren't here. She looked right through me a lot. You aren't the only one out of touch. When Mary and I went to pick her up the day she wrecked my truck, she couldn't figure out why she was with me instead of Avery. Even though she'd met Lucas, she's seen Avery recently and knew. How does one live with her son and not know these things? Avery and the band are usually over here lately for practice. We've been working on getting a demo made."

  Blaine had a hollow look in her eyes. "Damn, Jameson. That is way out of touch. That's heartbreaking."

  "How long do you plan on staying?" Time to change the subject a bit.

  Blaine sighed. "I'm not sure. I'd been thinking about coming home for awhile, but I wasn't sure my presence would be welcome."

  "How could you think that? You're family."

  "I wasn't welcome when I came home for Dad's funeral." Blaine's eyes blazed with fury.

  Jameson raised a brow, not sure what to say or think about that one. "What do you mean?"

  "Mom pretty much told me I wasn't needed!" Tears pooled in her eyes.

  "You shouldn't have taken that to heart. Mom went off the deep end pretty much right after Dad died. She said a lot of things that I bet she didn't mean."

  Jameson never knew the things Mom or Blaine may have said last year. He'd never heard the conversations between them. At that time, he'd blocked out a lot. He'd been in his own world of pain and grief.

  "And if I said anything hurtful to you, I don't remember, so I'm sorry in, well I can't say advance now, but I'm sorry delayed?" Jameson let out a nervous chuckle.

  "No, you didn't really seem to have a thought about it one way or the other, but I never held that against you. I know how close you and Dad were."

  If they had been that close, maybe Dad would have understood his intent. Instead, they'd fought about it. Jameson would never forget the last thing he'd said before the heart attack.

  His chest burned with the pain of that memory. It had resurfaced with a vengeance ever since Melody made that damn good guess about his last day with his father.

  "I think I should get some sleep. I've been driving almost nonstop for about twenty hours." Blaine yawned.

  Sleep was a good idea.

  "You can take my room. I don't think you'd want to sleep in Mom's room."

  "Where are you gonna crash?"

  Jameson shrugged. "The couch."

  "Okay, I guess at least for tonight. We can always figure something out in the morning."

  "Sorry, I didn't realize you were coming back, and with Mary staying here..."

  "What's her story, Jameson? Why is she staying with you?"

  Not that he could get into those details at all, but he had to come up with something to satisfy his sister's curiosity.

  "She needed a start over. She helped a woman riding the bus with her when she went into labor, and ended up getting stranded here. The bus pulled in front of the inn that night, and Lucas and I happened to be there."

  "Oh. The Callimers still run that place?"

  Jameson nodded. "For now. They're actually looking to sell. Avery's mom and dad are finally ready to retire."

  Blaine smiled. "I'd love to say hi to them again. Avery too. And the band. I'd love to hear your new stuff!"

  "We have a few more performances lined up, but we're cutting back on live shows for a bit soon. With Avery's pregnancy being somewhat high risk, we're keeping it low key."

  "High risk? What's wrong?" Alarm filled her voice.

  "Mainly it's stress. The media won't leave her alone. Everyone wants to know who she is, now that it's been announced she's Belinda's daughter."

  Blaine nodded. A dark shadow crossed her face. "I understand. Poor girl." She pushed her chair back with a loud scrape across the worn tile. "Night, Jameson. I'm going to grab my bag and unwind."

  He wrapped her in a hug. "I'm glad you've come home, Blaine," he whispered.

  "Me too. I've missed my little brat."

  Jameson laughed, releasing her. "Bite me."

  "Yeah, that's mature little bro." Blaine pushed at his arm playfully.

  "Let me just grab a few things from my room and it's all yours for the night."

  Fifteen minutes later, Jameson settled in for a night of sleep on the couch. The lights were all off, and he fell asleep with a sense that maybe things would get better after all.

  Chapter Eleven

  Melody had to shake herself mentally for wanting to hide out in her room the next morning. After last night's encounter with Jameson's sister, she had no idea what today would bring. She'd had terrible dreams about her dad, her brother and Anthony. Her sleep had been light and restless because of them. She'd been thankful for that distraction on the roof with Jameson, including the kiss. She smiled at the lasting image of his hair whipping in the breeze, his hands on the guitar, singing to her. How sweet and funny he was. How much she wanted to stick around, even though she had no idea how that would work. He'd gone out of his way to listen to her. It had been a little scary how dead on she'd been about his situation. But when she noticed his lack of anger it didn't seem right. Now she understood.

  No wonder Jameson's guilt ate at him the way it did. Arguments were a part of every day life. Everyone disagreed on something, but she couldn't imagine how she would feel if the last thing she'd done with someone before never seeing them again was argue.

  It explained so much about Jameson.

  She had the day off. She hoped he'd be home at least for awhile, because it would be quite strange to sit around with his sister, especially after the way she acted last night.

  Ugh.

  Time to face the music. It would be stupid and childish to hide out all day.
She could find much better things to do with her time.

  Melody grabbed some clean clothes, throwing them on and pulled her hair up in a pony tail. Her reflection in the mirror didn't look like her anymore. The hair color she'd used a few weeks ago showed signs of fading. Time to redo it. She'd have to do some laundry soon.

  She had a long list of things to buy when payday rolled around again, including putting aside some money to give to Jameson for room and board. It wasn't something they'd talked about, but no way would she allow him to let her stay here for free.

  She overheard Jameson's voice just as she opened the door. She had no idea what he said or who he was talking to, but her heart beat a little faster just hearing him.

  Not a good sign. She was getting attached.

  When Melody rounded the corner to the kitchen, she spotted him. Jameson sat at the table, his phone to his ear. When he turned and saw her, his face lit up and he lifted his fingers in a little wave. Blaine was nowhere in sight.

  "Yeah, that sounds great! Bring something over, we'll just hang out, play some music and eat. She's excited to see you," Jameson said into the phone. "I don't know. Six? Seven? Okay, see you both then." When he hung up, he slid another sweet smile her way. "Morning."

  Melody sank into the chair beside him. "Hey. How are things?"

  "Pretty good. Blaine and I had a long talk last night. We're going to go see my mom, and figure out what can be done to help her. Tonight, we're having a little get together here at the house. Avery, Lucas, and the rest of the band will be coming. My sister wants to see everyone. If you want, I'd love to play what we've done with the song so far. It's close enough to being finished."

  Tonight? He wanted to play it tonight? Okay, no, she wasn't ready for that! But a part of her was also excited that Jameson had the intent on wanting to play the song for the band, and actually record it. Just imagine!

  She must have had an expression, because Jameson covered her hand with his, leaning a little closer. "You don't look so happy about that. Are you not ready? We don't have to. I'm just really excited about it."

  "Well," Melody started, "I'm nervous for various reasons. I've never really let other people read my poems, let alone put them to music. So I'm a little nervous of what your band is going to think. And as I said before, I don't want to step on any toes with Avery."

  Jameson blinked. "You keep saying that. What worries you so much about that? Why would you step on toes with Avery?"

  Melody lifted her shoulders, heat rushing to her cheeks. "I told you last night. It's stupid, I know-"

  "Don't say your feelings are stupid. I'm just trying to figure out what I can do to convince you not to be so worried about Avery."

  They never got to finish the conversation. Soft footsteps came up behind her. Melody craned her neck to see Blaine standing at the edge of the dining area.

  "Mary, I need to apologize for speaking out of line last night. I had no right to judge and make you uncomfortable." Blaine fidgeted with her shirt, obviously bothered by the way her actions affected her last night.

  That caught her off guard. She didn't expect Blaine to apologize and really seem sincere about it. Melody had probably been right. Blaine had been tired, unsure of what to say when she came back home to all these changes. It pissed her off, but she could get over it and let it go. She couldn't just be rude and refuse her apology.

  "I appreciate that," Melody finally said. "I'm sure my being here came as a surprise."

  "To say the least. Still, I lashed out and it shouldn't have happened. I hope that won't make things weird for us while we're both here."

  "I hope not either. I'm willing to put it behind me." Melody offered a smile. And she would. There was no reason to have any irritated feelings toward Jameson's sister.

  "Thank you, Mary. I wouldn't have been so nice if I were you, but I do appreciate it." Blaine moved from her spot, heading for the fridge.

  "Jameson, if you don't mind, can I catch a ride with you to the hospital? I'd like to check in with Shelly. I know she's officially released as a patient, but she's been staying there with the baby until he's at a good enough weight to be discharged."

  "Yeah, sure thing! Then you can come with us to shop for some food for tonight. You can tell me what you like. If there's enough time, we can work more on the song before everyone comes over." His eyes lit up with a hopeful look.

  "I like the sound of that."

  If it weren't for the things she was running from, Melody could belong here. She felt a little more like she had a place every day.

  But it was only a facade.

  This life could never be, not for her. Not unless she dealt with Anthony.

  *****

  Jameson knew it took a lot of guts and shoving pride aside for Blaine to apologize to Melody this morning, let alone coming with him to face Mom. It was a good thing. When she showed up last night, acting the way she had, he thought things were going to be more intense than they turned out to be.

  Blaine held something back. He had no idea what, and he doubted she'd actually tell him, but Blaine acted different. Not so confrontational. At least, not after awhile.

  Let's see how this goes with Mom.

  Jameson suggested a meeting place by the soda machines in front of the door they'd come in, and parted ways with Melody. He watched her as she rushed down the other hallway to see Shelly. He could feel Blaine's stare, and he hoped like hell she didn't notice his feelings toward Melody. It wasn't something he made sense of himself, and to explain it someone else … No.

  "This isn't going to go over well." Blaine bit her lip. "Mom's not going to be happy to see me."

  "You won't know that until you go." She'd better not back out now. They had to find a way to get Mom to voluntarily enter a rehab facility.

  It would be a big step, and he already anticipated she wouldn't be thrilled. Talk about stubborn pride. Both him and Blaine got that from their parents.

  "I don't know if she's going to want to listen to me, especially with what we have to do."

  "You think she'll listen to me? Did I not tell you, she looks right through me most of the time. It's like I'm not there. And I'm the one that's never left her!"

  Oh crap, did he just practically shout that? He snapped his jaw shut with a cringe.

  Wrong time for anger to start coming back. Damn it, what the hell was wrong with him?

  "Okay, I'm sorry. Don't get upset, please. I- I'm just nervous, I guess." Blaine put her hand on his shoulder. "We've got to do this together. We're all she has, and she's all we have."

  "Sorry for yelling. That came out of nowhere." For sure. Was it another one of those stages of grief? He'd heard something about five stages, blah blah blah. But he'd skipped over the anger part. He thought he'd blown past that. Maybe not.

  He'd have to learn to keep it in check.

  "Let's just go get this over with. The longer we stall, the more I get nervous." Blaine made the first move. Jameson caught up to her, leading the way to their mother's room. At the door, he stopped and faced his sister.

  "All right. Here goes nothing." Jameson pushed the door open, unsure what he would find. Mom was sitting up in the bed, flipping channels on the TV. The swelling from the bump on her head had receded. She looked a little better. Her scowl told him she wasn't to keen about being there.

  "Jameson! I'm so happy to see you!" Mom's face lit up into a smile. "You have to tell them to let me come home. I don't need to be here. I'm better." Her smile faded. "They said something about rehab. I heard them. I don't need that, do I son?"

  Jameson sucked in a breath. So she was going to play it that way. Cozy up to him as if she'd done nothing, and throw on the pity. No. That wouldn't work this time. He should have drawn that line a long time ago. "I think that's something we need to have a talk about, Mom," he said softly, leaning over to kiss her cheek. "Someone else is here to see you."

  Blaine must have come in, because Mom stiffened.

  "Things must be bad
if you actually came home." Mom's tone was neutral. Jameson moved out of the way in case Blaine wanted to hug her or something. She stood by the bed, looking unsure whether to give her a hug or not. Mom kept staring at them, especially Blaine.

  So far, so good. At least they weren't having a yelling match.

  "It's good to see you, Mom. I don't like the circumstances, but I'm here now," Blaine finally said, her voice just above a whisper. Jameson noticed how awkward the hug was between them when Blaine leaned in to give her one.

  "Do you believe what they say? Both of you?" Mom's eyes were wide. She sounded fearful, like a tiny child begging. Her voice came out in small little squeaks.

  Damn it, that nailed him right in the heart. Jameson had to ignore the way that pulled at him. Time to tell it like it was.

  "Yeah, Mom. I do," Jameson started. He pulled up one of the chairs and flopped into it, facing his mother. "This has gone on long enough. Don't tell me I don't understand the grief, because I do. Maybe more than you, in some ways. I let it slide with you for so long because of the way I felt. Or didn't feel, for that matter. I haven't been able to get angry. I didn't tell anyone this, not you guys, not Avery, not anyone until someone I barely know figured it out. The last day with Dad, we were arguing. Mom, when you and Avery went to the store that day, that's what was happening with Dad and I. That's when he had the heart attack. I never got to apologize, never got to settle that argument. How do you think that makes me feel?"

  Jameson was on the verge of tears. He didn't need to do that. He just needed to say what he had to say and leave it at that. He drew in a shaky breath and continued. "So I stopped getting mad. Well, not purposely, anyway. I just could never get the energy to do it. So I let things slide with you all the time, Mom. Do you know how many times you've looked right through me? I was always there. I needed you, Mom. I needed someone to be there when my world fell apart, too. It's like I lost both of my parents, even though one was always physically here." Jameson clenched his fists, a war of emotions raging within.

  "I- I had no idea, Jameson." Mom laced her fingers together, never taking her eyes off him. Her face turned a few shades paler.