Anna's Return

by Sally Quilford

  “Something has changed?” asked Janek.

  “I don’t know… it’s just that lately…” Anna paused and checked where Nicky was. He could come to no harm on the terrace as the railings were too high, but she did not want him to think she was criticising his parents. “I’ve felt that something is going on,” she continued. “They’re always eager to get me out of the way and I can’t help wondering if I’ve displeased them. Yet Madame is as kind as she’s always been. Oh I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be bothering you with my worries.”

  “We’re friends, Anna, and have been for a long time. You can always come to me with your worries. You never told me why you left Silverton Hall. Florentyna told me they were very unkind to you there.”

  Anna shook her head. “No, not really. I mean, my father barely noticed me and my step-mother hated me but no more than she hates most people. Mrs. Palmer – do you remember her? – and Mr. Stephens, the butler were always kind enough. They made it bearable.”

  “Yes, I remember Mrs. Palmer. A frighteningly efficient woman but a good ally to have, I should think. So why did you leave?”

  Anna wanted to tell Janek the truth, hoping that he would understand, but the secret of what happened with Teddy was something she had locked up inside herself for so long, she could not put it into words. What if Janek decided he did not want to be her friend anymore? What if he told the Voronins and they fired her, because they no longer trusted her with Nicky? “I just decided I wanted a different life for myself. Admittedly I’m still a servant, but it’s no hardship when it’s for such a wonderful family.”

  “I’m glad the Voronins treat you well, but I still don’t think you should be a servant. Not with your background.”

  “My background is that of an illegitimate child, Janek. My beginnings were hardly respectable.”

  “Such things should not matter in a civilised society.”

  “Oh but it is a so-called civilised society which frowns upon such things. You should know better than anyone what it is to be an outsider. I presume there is a reason the hotel is called Carmichaels and not Dabrowskis.”

  “You are right. I was afraid that with all the anti-European feeling after the war, naming the hotel Dabrowskis would not guarantee its success.”

  “So we are both victims of either real or imagined prejudices.”

  “Perhaps that’s why we made friends in the first place, Anna. We recognised a kindred spirit.” He smiled, and it seemed to Anna as if the sun shone a little brighter. “And now, because I owe it you, I am going to let you have the last cheese sandwich.” He pushed the plate towards her.

  “I would not deprive you of it,” she said, laughing. “Besides, I owe you much more. You came back for me when the train crashed. I think at the very least that has earned you the last cheese sandwich.”

  Janek became more serious. “I didn’t come back to you when I promised I would. After I left you with the Silvertons. And for that I am sorry.”

  “I was hurt at first,” Anna admitted. “But as I’ve grown older I realised that it would never have been possible. I was not your responsibility for a start. I understand that you said what you had to say to calm me when I was afraid, and I bless you for that.” She did not tell Janek of the nights she had sat by her window, waiting for him to come back. Only as the war went on and she grew older had she finally admitted the truth to herself. That he was not coming back and probably never meant to.

  “Thank you. I promise you that I will never turn my back on you again, Anna. I am your friend and if you ever need me, you only have to ask.”

  “But I am still not your responsibility.”

  “What if I decide that you are?”

  They looked across the table at each other for what seemed like an eternity, but which could only have been a few seconds.

  Nicky came bounding back to the table and picked up the last cheese sandwich, biting into it with a huge smile on his face.

  “Well,” said Janek, laughing. “That settles the argument of who gets the last cheese sandwich.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Once Anna had relaxed a little more in Janek’s company, the afternoon seemed to pass all too quickly. She wished she could spend more time with him, but it was getting late and she needed to get Nicky back home.

  “Thank you so much for inviting us,” said Anna when Janek took them back downstairs to the foyer.

  “Yes, thank you,” said Nicky. “May we come again?”

  “You certainly may, my young friend,” said Janek. “But only if you always promise to bring Anna with you.”

  “Oh yes, we go everywhere together,” said Nicky.

  “And you must tell your Mama and Papa that they are also welcome,” Janek said.

  “And Tasha?” said Nicky,

  “Mr. Dabrowski can’t feed all of London,” Anna laughed.

  “Not all of London,” Janek replied. “Just the very special people.”

  “And who might they be?” asked Anna. She had hoped to bring the conversation around to Mary Carmichael, but had shied away from it, afraid of what she might learn.

  “Anyone who is a friend to you, of course,” said Janek.

  At that moment a man came from the kitchens, carrying a big parcel. “The cake, Mr. Dabrowski,” he said. Handing the parcel to Janek.

  “Here you go, Nicky,” said Janek. “It may be a bit heavy for you to carry, so I’ll give it to Anna. It is a whole fruit cake for your Mama and Papa and Tasha.”

  “Oh really,” said Anna, “it’s too generous. I’m sure Nicky only meant to ask for a slice each, is that not right, Nicky?” Nicky nodded, his eyes wide open at the size of the cake which Janek gave to Anna.

  “It is not too much. It is very little,” said Janek. “But I’m only giving it to you if you promise to come again.”

  “Oh we will,” said Nicky. But Anna felt that Janek was not really talking to Nicky. He was talking to her.

  “I’m off to New York tomorrow for a few days,” Janek explained. “But when I return I should very much like it if you came for tea again. Or perhaps even dinner.”

  “I’m not allowed to stay up past eight o’clock,” said Nicky.

  Janek smiled. “Then you might have to sit that one out, my little friend. Can you bear to loan me Anna for just an evening?”

  “I suppose so,” said Janek. “She’s allowed to stay up later than I am.”

  “I’m glad to hear it!”

  “I should have to ask Madame if it is alright,” said Anna. “Perhaps I’ll have the pleasure of meeting Miss Carmichael again.”

  “Miss Carmichael? Oh, Mary. No, I doubt it. She’s returned to Scotland and I don’t know when she’ll be visiting again.”

  “Oh…” Anna did not know what to say. If Janek were seeing Mary should he really be asking Anna to dinner? But of course, he only meant to invite Anna to dinner as an old friend. She would be silly to read anything else into his invitation. “If I can get the time off, I would like it very much.”

  Janek held out his hand. Balancing the cake on one of her arms, Anna gave him hers. She expected him to shake it, but instead he lifted it to his lips. Even though she wore gloves, she could feel the warmth of his mouth through the fabric, and was caught off-guard to the point that she almost dropped the cake. She just managed to rescue it before it fell to the ground.

  “I’ll as the doorman to hail you a taxi,” he said, laughing. “I don’t fancy the cake’s chances on the tube.”

  “Oh I don’t know,” said Anna, trying to calm her nerves again. “Broken cake tastes just as good. If not better.”

  “Yes it does, but does not do much for Carmichaels’ reputation.”

  “Of course, I’m sorry.”

  “I was only joking, Anna.” Janek touched her arm, then took the cake from her. “I’ll hold it until you get into the taxi.”

  He waited as Anna and Nicky got into the taxi, then handed her the cake. “Perhaps when we meet again,” he said in a
low voice, “you can tell me why there are posters in Hyde Park with your face on.”

  Suddenly the sun went in for Anna, and she realised that it was probably better if she did not see Janek ever again. If he found out that not only had she harmed Teddy, but she was also a thief, he would not want anything to do with her at all.

  “Anna?” Janek frowned, and stood with the door open as if waiting for an answer.

  “Thank you for the lovely afternoon and for the cake,” she said, her voice trembling.

  “Anna, didn’t I just tell you that if you need anything you can come to me?”

  “Yes, but… if you knew…”

  “We’ll talk about it when we meet again.” Janek shut the taxi door, and it moved away from the pavement.

  Anna breathed a huge sigh of relief. She had enjoyed her afternoon with Janek and Nicky, but she decided with an aching heart that it would probably never happen again.

  ***

  Teddy went upstairs to his father’s room, having been told by Izzy that Sir Lionel had asked for him. Since his illness, Sir Lionel had not moved from his bedroom at all. Even though he was out of bed, and sitting in a chair, he seemed to prefer the relative peace and quiet.

  “Father,” said Teddy, after knocking and putting his head around the door. “Did you want me?”

  “Yes, Teddy, come in and shut the door.” Sir Lionel’s chair was near the window, and he sat looking out towards the lake. “There’s a lovely view from here.”

  “Why don’t you come outside, Father?” asked Teddy. “It’s even nicer in the fresh air.”

  “No, I like it here,” said Sir Lionel. “Not least because your mother does not like sick rooms. She visits me in the morning, to do her duty, then she leaves me to my own devices for the rest of the day. I’ve never read as many books as I have these past few months. Of course, young Izzy puts me through my paces in the afternoon, but I don’t mind that. I find I like the girl’s cheerful chatter. I gather you like her too.”

  “As she said anything?”

  “No, but I see a lot from this window,” Sir Lionel said, smiling. “Like you following her around the lake, like a puppy dog.”

  “I’m not a puppy!” Teddy protested.

  “Oh don’t take it as a criticism, boy,” said Sir Lionel. “Every young boy needs a first love.”

  Because he did not think his father would understand, Teddy did not tell him that Izzy was his one and only love. “Is that why you wished to see me? To talk about Izzy? Because if you tell me she’s not good enough for me…”

  Sir Lionel raised his hand. “I intend no such thing. Not least because I know what it is to love someone whom society thinks is beneath me.”

  “Mother?”

  “No, not your mother. Her pedigree is impeccable. Actually that’s what I wished to discuss with you.”

  “Mother’s pedigree?”

  “No. I hear that you and Izzy are thinking of going up to see Mrs. Palmer and Mr. Stephens. So you can find Anna.”

  “Izzy told you that?”

  “Well yes, she felt she needed my permission to accompany you, what with you being under eighteen.”

  “I’m quite old enough to make up my own mind.”

  “Yes, I know you are, son. I’ve been very proud of the way you’ve taken the accounts in hand. I know you want to be a doctor, but I can’t see that Silverton Hall would have a better master than you when I’m gone. Only…”

  “Only what?”

  “Nothing. I also gather your mother is after the combination to my safe.”

  “Did Izzy tell you that too?”

  “No, your mother did. She is not nearly as clever at hinting as she believes she is. The truth is lad, that’s where you come in. There is something in my safe that your mother must never see. If she does find it, she will surely destroy it. I’m not so sure I shouldn’t destroy it. I find myself trapped between a rock and a hard place. But I also want to put right a dreadful wrong whilst I still have the chance.”

  “How can I help, Father?”

  “In my safe is a letter, addressed to Anna. I want you to get it, and keep it from your mother. I’m going to give you permission to look inside it. Then, if you choose to destroy it, you can. I will not hold it against you, because you’re as innocent in all of this as Anna is. Or, if you wish, when you find Anna – and I pray you will find her safe and sound – you can give it to her. I’ll leave it to you to decide. But you must never let your mother see it. If she finds out about it, then so be it. But if she finds it before you do, then she will most certainly destroy it.”

  “Why?”

  “You’ll know if you choose to look inside the letter. Don’t think too badly of your mother, either. Whatever she did would only be to protect you.”

  “I think I can guess what the letter says,” said Teddy. “But why now, Father? Why not when Anna first came here? Her life would have been so much different.”

  “Would it? I don’t think so. I think it might have been worse. Mrs. Palmer protected her a lot. I should have done more to take care of her, I see that now. As I said, I want to put right a dreadful wrong. Whilst I have the chance. This illness has made me realise I may not get that chance. This is why I’m passing the baton to you. But as I said, son, I shan’t think badly of you if you decide to destroy the letter. In fact I give you my permission to do so if that is your decision, as I would not have you live with the same guilty conscience as I’ve had to live with.”

  “Father, I already feel guilty about Anna…”

  “You shouldn’t. You were just a child and your mother overruled you. She overruled me too, when I tried to reason with her. I know it seems unlikely but I am rather afraid of Geraldine.”

  “Me too. Izzy is the only one who isn’t. Father?”

  “Yes, Teddy.”

  “If I decide to marry Izzy, neither you or Mother can change my mind.”

  “Good. Good. Keep thinking that way. You’ll be a much better man than I am if you learn how to stick to your guns.”

  After his Father told him where the combination to the safe was hidden, with an extra warning to remove the paper taped under the desk and take it to his father for safekeeping, Teddy went downstairs to the study.

  His mother was out playing Bridge with friends, so hopefully would not be home until much later. Nevertheless, Teddy felt nervous about what he was about to do. Even with his father’s blessing, going into Sir Lionel’s safe felt like an intrusion. If his mother did return early, and happened to enter the study, she would most likely demand to know what was happening.

  The only thing that stopped Teddy from running out of the study and refusing to have anything to do with it was the thought that the letter for Anna might help her in some way. He owed her that much.

  There was an angle poise lamp on the desk. Teddy switched it on and pulled the drawer out, carefully tearing the piece of paper so that he did not destroy the combination before he had a chance to use it.

  Feeling like a burglar, he knelt down by the safe and started to turn the dial, careful to turn it accurately. The first time he was so nervous, he turned it the wrong way, and did not realise until he came to open the safe only to find it still securely locked. He reminded himself that he had his father’s permission, but knowing that did not stop his hands from trembling. It was not just going into his father’s safe that concerned him. It was finding out the contents of the letter.

  Finally, getting the combination right, the safe gave a satisfying click and the door opened when he pulled the handle. Inside the safe were several items his father had put away for safe keeping. One was an old rifle, which Teddy remembered had a faulty firing pin. He avoided that. Instead he looked through the piles of papers until he found what he was looking for; a yellowing envelope upon which was written ‘For Anna’.

  Teddy stuffed the letter into his pocket along with the safe combination, locked the safe up firmly, and turned out the lamp, before going back upstairs to hi
s father.

  “Did you get it,” asked Sir Lionel, when Teddy handed him the combination.

  “Yes, Father.”

  “Have you opened it?”

  “No father.”

  “Will you open it?”

  It was something that Teddy had been considering since his father told him about the letter. He shook his head. “No. I think I’ll let Anna see it first. That would be the proper thing to do, since it’s addressed to her.”

  “You’re not afraid of what it might say?”

  “Why should I be? I know what I want to do with my life, Father and if this letter is what I think it is, then perhaps that will make it easier for me.”

  Sir Lionel was silent for a while, so Teddy took that as his cue to leave. As he was walking away, his father called him back. “I’m very proud of you, Teddy,” he said. “One more thing.”

  “Yes, Father.”

  “If you find Anna, tell her I’d like to see her, whenever she’s ready to forgive me.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Anna was finding it increasingly more difficult to occupy Nicky. Every day, Madame insisted she take him out, regardless of the weather. The child really needed to be at school, with other children, but Madame and Mr. Voronin had insisted in hiring a private tutor for their son’s education. However, as it was the summer holidays, that tutor was not due to start work until September.

  She still suspected she was being got out the way for some reason and tried not to let it bother her. She felt sure that if Madame were unhappy with her, then she would say so. Similarly if Madame had found out about what happened with Teddy, Anna would have been dismissed immediately. The Voronins took no chances with their beloved son. She was left to believe that there were just things that the Voronins and Tasha did not wish to share with her. She did wonder if it was to do with Russian state secrets, and whether they did not trust her. But many a night, Mr. Voronin had talked candidly about the Russian government in her presence, so that did not seem to make sense.