Volume 4 - The Disappearance of Suzumiya Haruhi

by Tanigawa Nagaru

  And Haruhi would probably just be an eccentric high school student.

  Perhaps under such settings, an interesting story can be written as well. There would no longer be any need to learn about the truth of this world, nor would there be any need to worry about any changes caused. It would just be a normal story without any connection to this dysfunctional world.

  I probably wouldn’t play any role in that story. All I could do there was just peacefully live my normal high school life and graduate without incident.

  Which world would I be happier with?

  I think I know the answer to that now.

  It was only in this “present world” could I be happy. Otherwise why would I risk losing my life just to come back to this world?

  What about you? Which world would you choose? I’m sure the answer would be pretty obvious. Or am I the only one who would think like that?

  After my family went home and the lights in the ward went out, I could only stare at the ceiling. As I had nothing better to do, I decided to close my eyes.

  For the past three days, in this world that is, I was told I had spent all that time sleeping.

  In that case…

  If the world had become like that, that meant that it’d been changed.

  This world had already been changed twice. The world that was distorted by Nagato had changed once again to the original world as it is now. So who was it that made the second change?

  It couldn’t be Haruhi. For those three days, Haruhi didn’t have such powers, and the Haruhi of this world didn’t even know the world had changed.

  Then, who could it be?

  Saving my life by catching Asakura’s blade with her bare hands, there could only be one person with the ability to do such a thing…

  That would be Nagato.

  Besides, before I lost consciousness, I saw two Asahina-sans. The second one wasn’t the adult Asahina-san, but my senpai Asahina-san. She was none other than the cute upper classman from the future that I was very familiar with.

  There was another person, the mysterious voice that spoke to me near the end. I knew I’d heard that voice before.

  I tried to recall who it was, but very quickly I realized I didn’t even need to try.

  That was my own voice.

  “I see, so that’s how it was,”

  In that case…

  I would have to travel back to that time period again. The time would have to be early morning on December the 18th, and I had to go with the Asahina-san and Nagato of this time period.

  Only then could the world be restored to its present state.

  Asahina-san would be responsible for bringing me and Nagato back to that time period, while Nagato’s mission was to amend her past self, who had gone astray for the past three days. Though I wouldn’t know whether she would use Haruhi’s powers or the powers of the Integrated Data Sentient Entity.

  I too had a role to play in this as well.

  That’s what I thought anyway. If I hadn’t heard my own voice speaking back then, I wouldn’t be here today. In order to preserve my present existence, I would need to go back and say the same thing to my past self,

  “Sorry about that. I have my reasons for not rescuing you right away, but don’t hate me for it. After all, it was painful for me as well. Anyway, we’ll take care of the rest. No, I already know what to do now, and you will as well. So go get some sleep for now.”

  I repeatedly memorized these lines in my head. That’s what I said if I recalled correctly. While I couldn’t guarantee that it’d be correct word for word, the meaning should be the same.

  In place of the me who got stabbed by a dagger, the one using the needle-gun would be my destined role.

  As for the reason why I couldn’t save my past self from being stabbed by Asakura, I understood that as well. From the tone of my future self’s voice, I didn’t sound like I ran over in a hurry. I must have hidden somewhere nearby before hand. Asahina-san and Nagato also came out cue on time. It couldn’t be too early, nor could it be too late. I had to wait until I got stabbed by Asakura. Why was that? Because of my past self, that was something that had already happened. To quote Asahina-san,

  “This is a predetermined event,”

  It was now late at night, but I wasn’t in the mood to sleep.

  I was waiting. Waiting for what, you ask? Of course I was waiting for the only person among the people I knew who had yet to visit me. It’d be a joke if she didn’t come.

  I lay in bed and stared at the ceiling all this time. It was only late in the night, when visiting hours were long over, that my patience was rewarded.

  The door to the ward slowly opened, the light from the corridor revealed the shadow of a tiny figure on the floor.

  Standing there was the figure of the last person to come visit me, Nagato Yuki.

  As usual, Nagato said without any emotion,

  “I am responsible for everything that has happened.”

  For some reason, I felt nostalgic at hearing this calm voice.

  “My punishment is currently being assessed.”

  I lifted my head and asked,

  “Assessed by whom?”

  “The Integrated Data Sentient Entity.”

  Nagato said calmly, as though it had all happened to someone else instead.

  Of course, Nagato had long known she would create a ruckus on the morning of December 18th. Because I had gone to visit Nagato three years ago with the adult Asahina-san. She knew all along, and she tried her best to prevent it from happening. Yet there was no way to stop the tide. Sometimes even if you knew what was about to happen, you just couldn’t avoid it. No, it was possible to avert it…

  I suddenly thought of the behavior and mannerisms of Nagato after summer, which were slightly different from before,

  “But,” I interrupted her, “If you knew you were going to go astray three years ago, you could’ve told me any time, couldn’t you? Whether it was after the school festival, or before the baseball tournament. In that case, I would’ve been able to take action earlier in that specific time on December 18th. Then all that would’ve needed to be done would be to call everyone out and travel back to three years ago again,”

  Nagato’s expression was as cold as ice, there was hardly a smile,

  “If I had told you beforehand, my astray self would still have been able to erase all your memories concerning the incident and change the world. Besides, no one can guarantee that something that hasn’t happened will ever occur. The best I could do was to keep you in your original state when December 18th arrived.”

  “Didn’t you leave an Escape Program for me? That was more than enough already!”

  As I was thanking her, I began to grow angry. But I wasn’t angry at Nagato, neither was I angry at myself.

  The blank voice echoed through the walls of the ward,

  “I cannot guarantee that I won’t go astray again in the future. As long as I continue to exist, my internal errors will continue to accumulate. This is a very dangerous possibility.”

  “BULLSHIT! Relay this message for me.”

  Hearing me swear, Nagato’s head tilted back about two centimeters. She even blinked.

  I reached out and grabbed that little white arm of hers. Nagato did not resist.

  “Tell this to your boss, so listen carefully. If he ever thinks of letting you disappear, then I’m going to let all hell break loose. I’m going to get you back, no matter what it takes. I may not have any powers, but I’m pretty good at provoking Haruhi,”

  I did indeed have a trump card in provoking Haruhi. All I needed to do was tell her, “My name is John Smith.”

  That’s right. While my powers were as good as a useless bum, that idiot Haruhi happened to possess enormous powers. Once Nagato disappeared, I would tell everything to that girl until she believed me. And then we would embark on our journey to rescue Nagato. Even if Nagato’s boss hid her away or eliminated her, Haruhi would always think of some way to turn the ta
bles, at least I’d make her think of a way. Who knows, Koizumi and Asahina-san may even lend a hand. By then, who would give a damn about some Data Entity from some unknown corner of the universe!? What difference did it make whether that thing existed or not!?

  Nagato was our friend. And if someone from the SOS Brigade was to go missing, Haruhi would never let the matter rest. And it wasn’t just Nagato, if Koizumi, or Asahina-san, or I had suddenly left, even by our own will, that girl wouldn’t give us up so easily. She would resort to anything to bring us back. That’s Suzumiya Haruhi, the pushy, self-centered, inconsiderate and troublesome Queen of the SOS Brigade for you.

  I stared furiously at Nagato,

  “If your boss even tries to do anything funny, then I’ll join up with Haruhi and transform the world completely. We’ll create a world similar to the one in those three days, where you exist but the Integrated Data Sentient Entity doesn’t. I’m sure they’ll be even more disappointed if that happens. Observation target? Observation my ass!”

  My anger intensified as I spoke.

  I had no idea how sentient the Integrated Data Entity was, but he should’ve been pretty smart. He was probably one of those that could calculate pi to the hundred millionth decimal point in just two seconds and do all sorts of advanced tricks.

  If that was true, then I have to tell him something.

  I’m sure it would be a piece of cake for you guys to give Nagato a more human-like personality. Before she became a psychotic killer, Asakura was quite popular in class, not to mention being open and friendly. She’d even call out some classmates to go shopping together during holidays. If you could create someone like her, why must you set Nagato as a lonely little schoolgirl sitting and reading a book all by herself in the Literature Club room? Are you thinking that if her personality wasn’t set that way, then it wouldn’t look like a Literature Club, that she wouldn’t attract Haruhi’s attention? Who made such a decision anyway?

  At this point I noticed I was clutching Nagato’s hand strongly. Yet the book-loving Interactive Humanoid Interface did not begrudge me at all.

  Nagato simply looked straight at me, and then slowly nodded her head,

  “I will relay the message.”

  The calm voice then softly added,

  “Thank you.”

  Epilogue

  I began to contemplate what I should do next.

  The end-of-term assembly was over, and I obtained my term report card from Okabe-sensei, thus my high school life for this year had come to an end.

  Today was December 24th.

  The vanished Class 1-9 and its students had all been resurrected, including Koizumi, who didn’t appear much in this story. Asakura had disappeared from Class 1-5 over half a year ago; Taniguchi continued his giddy mood of being in love; the seat behind me had once again been occupied by Haruhi; and there was no longer any flu epidemic in class. When I saw Nagato in the assembly hall, she wasn’t wearing glasses. After the end-of-term assembly, I bumped into the sisterly duo of Asahina-san and Tsuruya-san, who waved and greeted me simultaneously. I also confirmed this while on my way to school this morning - Kouyouen School had now been restored as a prestigious private girl’s school for the rich and famous.

  The world had been restored to its original state.

  Yet, the choice to keep this world remained with me. I still had to go back with Nagato and Asahina-san - back to the morning of December 18th. If I didn’t, the world would never be restored. Only by going back could restoration be possible. The thing is I still hadn’t decided when I should go back. I had yet to explain all this to Asahina-san. She’d probably hear it from her future adult self. I did see her in the past few days, but I did not mention a single word to her.

  “Damn!”

  After moaning meaninglessly, I embarked upon the corridor leading to the club room complex.

  Like a racing car, I would have to follow the golden rule of coming back to the starting point. It didn’t matter whether I was lagging by two or three laps, that wasn’t for me to decide anyway. The road and the scenery of the first lap and the final lap were the same, yet they carried different meanings. All I needed to do was to be careful not to get myself eliminated, and safely reach the finishing point so the checkered flag could be waved.

  ……Forget it, it’s pointless trying to say anymore.

  It was no use trying to justify my actions as it was I who made the decision to return to this side. It was different to Haruhi’s thoughtless rampages, this decision was my own free will, I have thus chosen to be spun around meaninglessly.

  In that case, someone needed to carry that responsibility and see things through to the end.

  That person wasn’t Nagato, it wasn’t Haruhi either, but myself.

  “Serves me right……”

  I began to lapse into self-pity and made a cool pose. It didn’t matter if someone saw me, since no one would bother looking anyway. As I was thinking that way, I exchanged glances with an anonymous high school girl who was walking by. Very quickly she turned her eyes away and scuttled off. I said softly to her back a greeting which she probably couldn’t even hear,

  “Merry Christmas.”

  If this were the last episode of a soap opera, shiny white snow crystals would begin falling, and the protagonist would catch one in his palm and exclaim, “Ah!” Or something like that. Looks like there’s no hope of a White Christmas this year. Today’s weather sure was surprising, it was actually a fine day.

  As a result, I became one of the main characters. A bystander would have already disappeared into the far corners of the galaxy by now, and become a relic of the past.

  “So, now what?”

  It was only now that I realized this. I really didn’t know what to do. There’s no doubt about it, I belong here. I realized that long ago. From the day Haruhi dragged me to the Literature Club room and I heard her declare indefinite occupation of the place, I had become part of this bunch already.

  Like the other members of the SOS Brigade, I would stand on the side actively protecting this world. No one made me do this, I raised my hand out of my own will.

  In that case, there’s only one thing I need to do.

  It was easier to get up after falling on something instead of falling flat on the ground, though both involve falling. Let me rephrase this, I’ll have to go back and pick up my other self who had fallen down. From the outcome, I can say it’s for my own good.

  I walked up the stairs while focusing on today’s upcoming activities. Haruhi and Asahina-san were in charge of buying the ingredients. I was spared the pain of being a human shopping cart, thanks to my being hospitalized. I didn’t think this had anything to do with Haruhi being merciful, on the contrary, she’s probably keeping the menu secret until the final moment, where she’d surprise everyone - that’s what I thought anyway. Maybe she’d even use her experience from the lone island to hold a cheap and big “Hotpot in the Dark Christmas Party.”

  I wondered what ingredients were being used. As Haruhi was the chef, she’d probably prefer something stimulating and exciting. Who knows, she may have come up with an experimental hotpot, never before seen in the history of human cuisine. Still, no matter what was being boiled in the pot, it should be edible once cooked. Even Haruhi wouldn’t be dumb enough to put something she couldn’t digest into the pot. Though it’d be another matter if she had the stomach of a monster. Haruhi might be eccentric, but I’m sure her stomach’s made of the same stuff as a normal human’s, right? The only thing beyond human standards would probably be that brain of hers.

  However, before having the hotpot party, I still had to dress up in a reindeer costume and provide some sort of entertaining performance. You can’t even imagine how it feels to have to think of what the show would include.

  “Yare yare,”

  The sigh of depression that I sealed away just last month, had once again come out of my mouth. Now don’t be so picky! They may sound the same, but what I say may have differen
t meanings if you interpret it differently.

  I gave myself an excuse for reusing this phrase, while jotting a must-do predetermined event down in the diary in my head.

  This predetermined event was something I had to do if I wanted to continue staying in this world.

  I have to find a time in the near future to go back and restore the world.

  As I approached the club room, I could smell the food coming to my nose. That was enough to make me full. Where did this sense of satisfaction come from? I was supposed to go back to pick up the mess some time later, yet I was already feeling so satisfied before I even made my move. Now wasn’t I a bit too easy to satisfy!?

  Ah well, it’s not too bad. Before then,

  There was still time. The one in charge of the operation would be the me in the future, though it was neither the me from the distant future, nor the me from the next moment.

  I grabbed the doorknob of the Literature Club room and asked the world a question,

  Hey, mind if you wait for a while? Before I go back to have you restored, can you just wait a little longer?

  At least……

  Until after I’ve tried out Haruhi’s hotpot. It shouldn’t be too late to go after that, right?

  Author’s Notes

  In place of my own views, I’m going to write about one of my memories, so please bear with me.

  I had a classmate in sixth grade, who could pretty much be called a genius. He was the leader of the class, with a bright mind, good family background, and he was really good at creating a cheerful atmosphere for everyone. The reason this extremely popular classmate, with a dazzling saintly glow above his head, befriended me was because we shared the same interests. We both loved fishing and reading foreign suspense novels.

  Whenever the class needed to be split into teams, I would always end up with him, with him being the team leader, of course. Once, when the school was having a festival, each class was required to send a representative to perform for the whole grade’s leisure. Our team was at a loss on what to perform, as our wits came to an end, he would say, “Let’s write a play.” And he would then begin writing the script. I will never forget how hard I laughed and even rolled on the floor when I read that script, I never knew something that funny would exist!