Chasing Charli (Alaska Blizzard Book 6)

by Kat Mizera

  “What, I mean…” She cleared her throat. “Did you?”

  “Yes.”

  Tears puddled her eyes and she covered her mouth with her hand. “Really? Where is he? Oh my god, Miikka.”

  He reached across the table for her hands. “He’s in St. Louis. If we leave now, we can be there in six hours or so. If you want to see him.”

  “S-see him?” She was crying outright now and he got up and moved around the booth so he could slide in next to her.

  “It’s okay. Don’t cry.” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest.

  “M-Miikka… How did you…” She cried harder, her tears soaking his shirt, and he gently stroked her hair, waiting for her to get it all out.

  “It’s okay. Don’t cry. It’s a good thing. He’s beautiful. Do you want to see a picture?”

  Her head snapped up and she nodded. “I… Yes!”

  He pulled out his phone and showed her one of the two photographs Gage had sent him.

  “Oh my god.” She held the phone in shaking hands, staring down at the dark-haired, blue-eyed little boy who definitely had her nose.

  “He plays baseball and hockey,” he said with a smile. “He likes chocolate ice cream and also takes karate.”

  “How did you find all that out?” she demanded, swiping at her eyes.

  “Gage. Mr. Caldwell. He did it.”

  “Oh, Miikka. Isn’t he beautiful?” Her eyes met his.

  “He’s gorgeous. And healthy. And happy. Look, this is him and his little sister.” He swiped and brought up the second photo.

  “Oh, wow.” She gave him a tremulous smile. “Miikka, this is amazing. Are you sure it’s him?”

  “Look at him. Your eyes, your nose… This is your son.”

  “I can’t believe it.”

  “Would you like to meet him?”

  “What? You can’t… I mean, did the parents… Can you make that happen?”

  “Gage spoke to the parents. He promised to set up college funds for both children if they would agree to let you meet the boy, perhaps keep you informed of how he’s doing. Through me.”

  “Through you?” She blinked.

  “He’s a big hockey fan. We have a meeting set up for tomorrow, in St. Louis, if you’d like to. But you don’t have to. The parents asked that you not tell him who you are, merely meet him as my girlfriend. The focus would be on me, making his dream to meet a professional hockey player come true. It would be a one-time thing, but I told them I had to ask you first.”

  “Ask me?” She burst into tears all over again. “Yes! Of course I want to meet him.”

  “Then we will.”

  “Oh my god, Miikka! How did you… Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” She buried her head in his chest and Miikka stroked her hair, waving away the waitress when she came by and making sure Char-lot was okay.

  Charli cried for what felt like a long time. Seeing her beautiful son’s picture had nearly broken her heart all over again, but seeing his happy smile and the resemblance between them was more than she could handle. When she finally got herself together, she had to get up and go to the restroom to wash her face, blow her nose and calm down a little. She was an absolute wreck, her eyes red and puffy, her makeup gone, and her face a little blotchy from how hard she’d cried.

  When she finally had herself together, she put on a dab of lip gloss—as if that would somehow fix the mess her face had become—and walked back out to the booth. Their food had arrived, but Miikka hadn’t touched his and he pulled her down beside him instead of sitting across from each other again. She rested her head on the side of his arm, letting the warmth of his skin seep into her, soothing her frazzled nerves and out-of-control emotions.

  “You’re okay now?” he asked softly, kissing her temple.

  “I’m getting there.”

  “I didn’t want to upset you. And you don’t have to see him tomorrow if you don’t want to.”

  “No, I do. I really, really do. You just caught me by surprise, and then to see him… I’ve dreamed about what he might look like and he’s so beautiful.”

  “He is,” he agreed. “Like you.”

  “How did you do this, Miikka? I mean, you said Gage did it, but did you just call him up and ask him to find my kid?”

  He swallowed, as if a little nervous. “Yes. I had to… You’re so hard on yourself, so sad about giving up your child, I had to find out for myself if he was okay. If Gage didn’t help, I would have hired a detective. I wasn’t going to give up until we had answers.”

  “And what if he wasn’t happy? What if the people who adopted him were assholes?”

  “Then we would have found a way to go to court and get him back.” His eyes met hers. “We were going to figure this out, no matter what.”

  “Oh, Miikka.” She closed her eyes as she reached for his hand. “I love you. I really, really love you.”

  “I love you too. And that’s why I did this.”

  “Worry about him has haunted me since the day I gave him up,” she whispered. “I was so afraid for him, so afraid he was scared and alone, or hungry or hurt…”

  “He’s not. Gage found out everything about his family. His father is a teacher, his mother a nurse. They live in a nice house in the suburbs, he goes to a good public school, he’s healthy and plays many sports.”

  “So… I get to meet him tomorrow?”

  “Yes. We’ll go pack a bag so we can be gone for one day, and then get on the road. We’ll sleep in a hotel tonight and meet them at the playground tomorrow morning. Then we’ll drive back here and figure out what you want to do.”

  “About what?”

  “Everything. Us.”

  31

  Charli barely slept that night. This was all so overwhelming. Between everything that had happened in the last week and this impromptu trip to St. Louis where she would actually meet her son, she was spinning in circles emotionally. It was by far the most amazing thing anyone had ever done for her, and she’d spent half the night watching Miikka sleep. Taking in his handsome face and the curve of his firm ass. The way his muscles flexed when he moved. The way he smiled, even in his sleep.

  “You’re pale,” Miikka said after they checked out of the hotel and got into the rental car. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m scared,” she admitted. “I don’t know how to behave or what to say to the mom or anything.”

  “I’ll be right there with you,” he said quietly. “Everything is going to be fine. Gage said they were reluctant at first, but once he spoke to them for a while, they were okay.”

  “I know. It’s just…” She squeezed his hand. “Oh my god, we’re here.”

  “It’s okay. I have a signed jersey for him and a few other things—he’s barely going to notice you.”

  She managed a tiny smile but her heart was hammering in her chest and her legs felt like lead. Miikka grabbed his bag of goodies and then came around to her side of the car, helping her out.

  “Hold my hand and remember I’ve got you—no matter what. I promise.”

  “I love you, Miikka,” she whispered.

  “I love you too.” He kissed her soundly on the lips and tugged her towards the playground.

  A petite blond woman in shorts and a T-shirt approached them slowly. “Are you Miikka?” she asked quietly.

  “Yes. Hello. You’re Heather?”

  “Yes.” She shook his hand and glanced at Charli. “Hi. Are you Charlotte?”

  “Yes. Thank you so much for allowing this… I can’t tell you how much it means to me.”

  “Well, I’m still not sure I’m doing the right thing, but Mr. Caldwell gave me his word this would be a one-time thing, so I’m willing to allow it.”

  “Yes, I… Thank you. I just… I’ve spent seven years worrying that he’s okay, happy, that he was adopted by a good family. The agency didn’t give me the option to interview you or pick a family; they just took him.” She took a shaky breath. “My grandfather convinced
me it was the right thing to do and he handled everything. So I always worried.”

  “I understand.” Heather nodded slowly. “I didn’t realize you hadn’t chosen us. All we knew was that you were seventeen, unmarried and had no way to take care of him. They didn’t tell us anything else.”

  “It was a difficult time. My boyfriend at the time left me to join the military and he never contacted me again after I told him I was pregnant. My parents kicked me out and I wound up in Anchorage with my grandfather.”

  “I’m sorry that happened to you, but we love Dylan more than life itself. You never have to worry about whether or not he’s okay, or loved, or anything like that.”

  “That makes me really happy.” Charli paused. “Did you live in Anchorage when you adopted him?”

  “Yes, but we moved a few years later. My husband got a job here in St. Louis and we’ve been here ever since.”

  “I’m glad it worked out I could see him.” Charli looked across the park at the two kids on the swings.

  “That’s Dylan and Nancy. She’s four and he’s a great big brother. I’ll go get Dylan now, okay?”

  Tears puddled in Charli’s eyes as she watched Heather tousle the boy’s hair and laugh at something he said. Then Dylan took Heather’s hand and the two of them walked towards Charli and Miikka. She was about to burst into tears again and buried her face in Miikka’s shoulder. He stroked her back. “It’s okay, hani. I’m here. I’ve got you. Now wipe your face and smile, so you can say hello.”

  She hurriedly dug a tissue out of her purse and dabbed at her eyes, turning to stare into a pair of bright blue eyes identical to her own. Her stomach clenched and her chest tightened, but then he smiled and it was like a rainbow was shining on her. Seven years of worry melted like butter on the surface of the sun, slowly dissipating and replaced with a warm feeling of contentment.

  He was okay.

  He was healthy and happy and had a big toothless grin that made her want to kiss his whole little face.

  “Dylan, this is Miikka Laasonen, from the Alaska Blizzard, and his girlfriend, Charli.”

  “Hi!” The boy’s eyes shone. “You’re my second favorite player!”

  “Dylan.” Heather gently admonished him, though she was smiling.

  “It’s okay.” Miikka squatted down so he was eye-level with the boy. “Who’s your number one?”

  “Anatoli Petrov from the Sidewinders.”

  “Good choice. His brother is my good friend.” Miikka was grinning. “I brought you a few things.” He handed the boy the bag.

  “Thank you!” Dylan dug into the bag, pulling out an autographed jersey, baseball cap and puck, along with some team swag. “This is awesome. Thanks, Miikka!”

  “You’re welcome. Next time the Blizzard comes to St. Louis, you can be my guest at the game.”

  Dylan’s eyes rounded and he looked up at his mother. “Can we, Mom? Can we?”

  “Of course.” She smiled, nodding.

  “Do you play hockey?” Miikka asked him.

  “Yeah. I’m number eighteen like Toli, but I’m a left wing like you.”

  “That’s excellent.” They talked hockey for a few minutes and Charli could only stare in fascination.

  This was her son.

  A child that had grown inside of her.

  The baby she’d never wanted to give up.

  The baby no one had wanted but her.

  And obviously Heather.

  He looked so much like Charli it was startling. His eyes were big and blue, his hair dark and a little wavy, and he had her nose. He was truly the most beautiful little boy ever, and she longed to touch him, but so far she hadn’t even been able to talk, much less move.

  “Miikka has to go soon,” Heather said gently. “Do you have anything you want to ask him?”

  Dylan seemed to ponder the question. “Actually, yes. What’s your best strategy for the penalty kill? They always score on us when it’s five-on-four and I don’t understand what to do better. I don’t think our coaches know either.”

  Miikka seemed to holding back a laugh but then got into a long, technical explanation about a few basic strategies related to killing penalties. As they talked, Heather moved closer to Charli.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes. I’m fine.” Charli couldn’t look at her, struggling with myriad emotions as she tried to soak in every second she got to spend in the presence of her baby.

  “Do you have any other children?”

  “No.” Charli shook her head. “Giving him up, well, it hurt in ways I can’t explain. I thought I’d done a terrible thing…that I somehow wasn’t worthy…” Her voice broke and she dabbed at her eyes again.

  “You didn’t do any such thing,” Heather said gently. “You did the bravest, most amazing thing any mother could do. You sacrificed yourself for your child. That’s what a mother is supposed to do.”

  “Do you have…biological children?”

  “No. My husband, Lee, had mumps as a teen and he’s sterile. We didn’t know for sure until we’d been married a few years, but we adopted Dylan and then three years later we adopted Nancy. She’s over there.” She motioned where the towheaded little girl was now playing in a sandbox.

  “She’s beautiful. They both are.”

  “They’re happy and healthy and we love them more than anything on earth. Please don’t beat yourself up about what you did. It wasn’t just a good thing, it was the best thing ever.”

  The two women locked eyes and Charli managed to smile. “Thank you.” Charli squeezed her arm. “I mean it. I promise I won’t try to see him again or anything like that. I’m sure you value your privacy. The only reason I did this was to assure myself he was okay.”

  “While we prefer he doesn’t know who gave birth to him at this age, we’ll probably tell him when he’s a little older. He knows he’s adopted, and if he ever gets curious, we’ll most likely tell him whatever he wants to know. In the meantime, I don’t have a problem with him seeing Miikka when the team comes to town, and you can come too. If you find me on social media, you can keep up with us there. Or I can send you pictures and stuff via email. However you prefer to do it.”

  “You trust me to do that?”

  “I don’t know why, but I do. Mr. Caldwell was very convincing when he contacted us.”

  “Gage…is very convincing.” Charli shook her head. “I didn’t even know Miikka had approached Gage about this. We weren’t speaking at the time.”

  “How come?” Heather seemed genuinely curious.

  “We hit a rough patch,” she admitted. “Mostly because of me, because I know he wants kids someday and I didn’t think I did.”

  “And now?”

  “Now I think anything is possible. Miikka is…special.”

  “It looks that way. He seems to love you a lot.”

  “I know.” Charli’s eyes shone as she watched him and Dylan talking animatedly about hockey. “Could I take some pictures of them?”

  “Sure.”

  Charli got out her phone and snapped a few pictures of Miikka and Dylan talking, and then asked them to pose with Dylan wearing Miikka’s jersey.

  “Dylan, can you thank Miss Charli for taking time out of her vacation so that Miikka could come meet you?”

  “Oh!” Dylan looked up and grinned. “Thank you, Miss Charli!” Then he threw his arms around her legs and hugged her tightly.

  Charli closed her eyes and squeezed him back, soaking in his warmth and the strength of his little body. She’d never imagined she’d have the opportunity to hug her son, and as she let him go, she looked down at him and wondered if he saw the love in her eyes. “You’re welcome,” she whispered, too choked up to find her regular voice.

  “We’ll see you next season,” Miikka told him. “And if it’s okay with your mom, you can follow my Instagram page and say hello.”

  “Yay!” Dylan high-fived him and then took off running towards his sister.

  “Time to go?” Miikk
a asked Charli.

  “Yes. Time to go.” She looked at Heather. “Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.”

  “You’re welcome. Now go be happy. Both of you.” Heather smiled.

  “I will.” She slid her hand into Miikka’s and they headed back to the rental car.

  She sank into the leather seat and let her head fall back. She loved this man more than she’d ever thought she could love anyone. She’d known that before he did this, but the last couple of days had shown her exactly who he was. His fierce loyalty, his inner strength, and his love for her were just a few of the many things she loved about him. “I don’t know exactly how you managed to make all of this happen, but thank you. I love you so much.” She turned to look at him.

  “Yeah?” He leaned over and pressed his lips against the side of her face. “You’re sure?”

  “I’m sure. I was always sure. I was just scared.”

  “I know.” He gave her a little grin as he looked into her eyes. “I have question.”

  “Okay.”

  “Drive back to your mom’s or go somewhere to have make-up sex?”

  32

  They wound up doing both. They went and found a hotel room so they could spend the rest of the day in bed. After getting a good night’s sleep, they headed back to Wichita the following morning. By the time they got there it was late afternoon and they went straight to the hospital to visit Charli’s father. She hadn’t told her parents the real reason they’d gone to St. Louis, saying only that they were going to spend a little time alone together after a recent disagreement.

  “Your parents will ask why we left,” he said as they pulled into the parking lot. “And if we say we had a fight, they will ask why.”

  “I don’t want them to know about Dylan,” she said after a moment. “It turns out Roy, my ex, spoke to my mother when he first got back to town. When I asked her about it, she lied.”

  Miikka frowned. “Why do you think this is?”

  “I don’t know. My mom seems to be having a much harder time forgiving me than my dad and I don’t know why.”