Isem

by Richard Young

  ***

  "Is he going to be all right?"

  Shirina's voice came to Isem through a haze. Where am I? he thought. What happened? Memory started to come back. The alley. Rochan. The fight. He had blacked out after his stupid attempt at heroics. At least I'm not dead. I thought he was going to kill me for a second.

  "Most likely," said another voice. "We'll wait until he wakes up to make sure."

  Isem groaned, and tried to open his eyes. One opened, the other refused. Light flooded his one good eye, piercing his brain like a knife. He closed it again, quickly, and the pain subsided back to a dull ache. He struggled to sit up, but every muscle seemed to be sore. A hand on his shoulder, gentle but firm, forced him back to the bed.

  "Just rest for now, Isem," Shirina said, wiping a cloth across his face. Isem forced his eye open again, finding that this time it adjusted to the light. Shirina drew the cloth back, and Isem saw it was dripping with blood. He glanced around the room. Shirina was sitting in a small wooden chair by the bed Isem was laying in. Domin – the village Healer and source of the second voice – was standing nearby, and his servant Farn lurked in the corner like some deadly spider ready to strike. Other than the bed and the chair, the only other decoration in the room was a small round table.

  "Well, boy?" Domin asked. "How do you feel?"

  "Like I was trampled by a dozen horses," Isem replied, touching his head. "Oh great, my nose is broken, isn't it?"

  A strange expression flickered across Domin's face. Isem turned to Shirina, but she wouldn't meet his eye.

  "What's going on?" Isem asked. "Wait, where's Arlin? Rochan didn't hurt him, did he?"

  It was Shirina who answered. "No, Isem," she said softly. "He's fine. You... you don't remember anything?"

  "I remember hitting the wall," Isem said, cringing at the memory. "After that... I assume I was knocked unconscious. Why, what happened?"

  Shirina turned away again, choking back a sob. Domin took over. "You killed Rochan, Isem. Lit him on fire. He burned alive, and the only thing left when it was over was a pile of ash and some scorch marks on the wall."

  "But-" Isem struggled to comprehend. "I don't..."

  "You know the stories, of course," Domin said, beginning to pace, "of entire villages gone up in flames?" When Isem nodded, he continued. "This is similar to what happened to them. Someone lost control."

  "They were Madmen, though..."

  "Yes, Isem. And so are you."

  Isem was tempted to laugh, almost willing to believe this was all some joke. But the look in Domin's eye and the tears in Shirina's eyes convinced him otherwise. "But- but they're evil."

  "Evil?" Domin glared, and even Shirina gasped. "No more than you or I. Where would you get that idea?"

  "They burn down villages..." Isem said weakly. "Cause earthquakes."

  "Accidents," Domin said. "Much like yours."

  "Isem," Shirina said. "Domin and I... we're Madmen, you know. Anybody who can touch the Madness, anyone who can use magic... we're all Madmen."

  Isem closed his eyes again, and lay back on his pillow. "Heal him," he head Domin say. "But be careful."

  Shirina's hands on his chest made Isem tingle, and he wasn't entirely sure it was the magic causing it. A moment later, a chill traveled through his body, reconstructing the damaged blood vessels in his face, patching together his broken ribs, and Healing the damage from where he had hit the wall. He gasped in pain as his nose wrenched itself back into place. It was all over in moments. Isem blinked through the tears forming in his eyes.

  "Ouch," he said.

  He lay there for a few minutes as the pain subsided, leaving him feeling like new. He kept his eyes closed, however.

  "Are you telling me I can do that?" he asked quietly.

  "Of course not," said Domin. "You're not a Healer."

  Isem's eyes shot open. "But you said..."

  "There are many different types of Madmen, Isem."

  Isem sat up. "Fine," he said. "Whatever. I still killed a guy. So what happens now? Jail? Public execution?"

  "Don't even say that!" Shirina said, a shocked expression on her face.

  "This is a rather... delicate situation," Domin said. "Occurrences such as this are expected, even sought out by the Quis – you are aware of the Quis?"

  Isem nodded.

  "Good. Well, they've been notified of this... incident, and doubtless they will send a couple of Quis this way to conduct your interview. It shouldn't take more than a couple of days for them to arrive."

  "Interview?"

  "To determine if you're well enough to enter into training," Domin explained. "If you are, they'll take you back to the Asylum. If not, they'll kill you."

  Isem mouth went dry at the words. "Kill...?"

  "For the safety of everyone," Domin said. "They can't allow another incident like the one today."

  "Let me see if I've got this straight," Isem said. "I'm a Madman – but not a Healer – and as such, require an interview with the Quis, so they can determine whether I'm fit to enter into training or not."

  "More or less, yes."

  "And this training will teach me to control the power – the Madness?"

  Domin hesitated. "In a sense," he said. "They'll teach you what you can do, and let you discover your limits. There is always a danger of losing control though. That's why, when you've completed your training, you'll be assigned a Qui – someone to watch over you at all times. They have the power to block the Madness, and can act as kind of a filter... helping to prevent you from drawing more power than you can handle."

  Isem was silent for a moment. "Farn's your Qui, isn't he?" he said.

  "Yes," replied Domin.

  "And Shirina? Who does she have?"

  Domin was silent for a moment. "She has never been to the Asylum," he said finally. "She is not strong enough to require her own Qui, not yet."

  "But you said that all Madmen-"

  "I know what I said," snapped Domin. "But I need her here to assist me, and Farn is strong enough to watch over both of us."

  "I'm so confused," Isem said, cradling his head in his hands.

  "It's all right, Isem," Domin said. "You just stay here and rest until the Quis arrive." He moved to the door.

  "Wait, wait." Isem said, trying to gather his thoughts. "If Farn can watch over Shirina, why not me too?"

  Domin raised an eyebrow. "Farn must stay close to me. You really want to be stuck in this place for the rest of your life? Besides, you're far more dangerous than Shirina. Farn will watch over you, but only until the others arrive. Come along, Shirina."

  Slowly, she got to her feet and followed Domin to the door.

  "Wait," Isem said. "What about my family? Can I see them?"

  Domin hesitated at the door. "I think it unwise," he said. "After the interview, you may say your goodbyes." On that ominous note, he exited the room. Shirina lingered at the door a moment longer. Tears still fell from her eyes.

  "I'll be back later this evening to check on you," she said. Before Isem could reply, she swung the door shut, leaving Isem alone with Farn.

  "Great," Isem muttered. "Just great."

  For the rest of the day, Isem paced around the small room, under Farn's watchful eye. The man didn't talk much, which suited Isem just fine. Fortunately, the room had a small window that looked down into the back yard of the house. Isem spent hours there, watching people move through the streets, longing to be out there with them. It wasn't fair. He wasn't meant to be cooped up like this.

  After sunset, Shirina finally came back, as she had said she would. Isem, after a glance at Farn, tried to get closer to her.

  "Can I talk to you?" he asked quietly, hoping Farn wouldn't overhear.

  She ignored his request. "Is there anything I can get for you?" she asked. "Anything you'd prefer for supper?"

  "Shirina..." Isem said. Why was she acting like this? If he could only talk to her alone. "Farn," he said, "would you mind leaving us alone for a few minute
s?"

  Farn's eyes narrowed and flickered between the two of them. Shirina turned away from Isem. He couldn't see her reaction. After a few moments, Farn silently moved to the door, and closed it behind him.

  "What do you want, Isem?" Shirina said, still facing away from him. She began to collect his bedsheets, though Isem suspected it was more from a desire to do something than duty.

  "I just..." He took a deep breath. Now that they were alone, courage fled from him, leaving only doubt and uncertainty. He knew what he wanted to say, but the words seemed stuck. Instead, he focused on something else.

  "How is Arlin doing?" Isem asked. "I suppose he's been told to stay away from me too, right?"

  A brief moment of hesitation preceded her answer. "He's doing good." She continued to gather sheets, avoiding Isem's eye.

  "We've known each other for years, Shirina. I know when you're lying," Isem said.

  Anger was clearly written on her face as she turned to face him, which contrasted sharply with the tears falling down her cheeks. "How do you think he feels?" she said. "You killed a man in front of him! He feels guilty if he steps on an ant. He's afraid of you, afraid of what you did, afraid of what's going to happen to you."

  "Do you feel the same?" Isem asked quietly.

  Shirina sighed, the anger fleeing her voice. "I don't know how I feel, okay? Maybe... Look, you don't know what they're going to do to you at the Asylum. I've heard stories from Domin. It's rough training, Isem. Even if they don't kill you," her voice wavered for a moment, "the Isem we knew... I knew... is going to disappear. You won't be the same when you come back. If you come back."

  "Of course I'll come back!" Isem protested. "How could I just leave you?"

  "I'm just saying," Shirina said softly, "that the things important to you now may not be important after you've spent a few years in training. People change, that's all."

  Isem shook his head. "No," he said. "No, I won't let that happen. You'll always be important to me, Shirina, no matter what."

  A smile flickered briefly across her face. "I'd like to believe that, Isem."

  "I'm serious. I..." Again, Isem's words failed him, and he faltered. "Do you remember when you first came here, two years ago, and we went for that walk through the forest? Arlin had just gone off to Insen, and it was just you and me. You were so excited about being a Healer, and we talked and laughed most of the day away under the shade of that oak tree."

  Shirina nodded.

  "Well, I know it sounds stupid, but after you left, a little blue rock in the roots of the tree caught my eye. I took it home, polished it up, and then I got Dellin at the forge to make a little pendant out of it." Isem reached into his pocket and drew it out. It was a simple design, a small blue rock mounted on a circular silver backing.

  "I've been meaning to give it to you," he continued. "But it's never seemed like the right time. I'm still not sure it is, but I may not get another chance." He held the pendant out to Shirina, suspended on a small silver chain.

  "Thank you," she murmured, taking it gently.

  Isem sighed. "I know you may be right about the training," he said. "I don't know what's going to happen. But if things go wrong – if something happens – I hope you'll remember me as I am, not whatever I may become."

  Tears once again filled Shirina's eyes as she held the pendant to her heart. "I-"

  She was cut off with a squeak as the door flew open. Farn stood there, a cold look on his face. "Time's up," he said.

  Shirina quickly stuffed the pendant into a small pocket of her apron, and gathered the rest of the bedsheets. "I... I'll be back with fresh ones," she said, moving quickly to the door.

  She turned as if to say something. Isem saw emotions warring on her face, tears battling with a small smile she couldn't seem to suppress. After a moment of silence, she fled the room.