David Hare Plays 1

by David Hare

  As she is talking Mick has appeared at the door.

  Mick I wonder, does anyone mind if I come in?

  Alice Mick?

  Mick moves into the room.

  Mick Would you mind if I …?

  Susan How did you get this address?

  Alice Do you two know each other?

  Mick Happy New Year.

  Pause.

  Alice Mick, may I introduce you to Louise?

  Louise Hello, Mick.

  Mick Hello, Louise.

  Alice Louise is going to the Arts Ball, I’m painting her …

  Mick Ah.

  Alice She’s going as a tree.

  Susan Mick, I really don’t want to talk to you.

  Alice What’s wrong?

  Mick Is she really going to walk down the street …

  Susan I thought we’d agreed. You promised me, Mick. You made a promise. Never to meet again.

  A pause. Mick looks down.

  Mick I just thought… well it’s New Year’s Eve and well … one or two weeks have gone by …

  Susan Have you been watching the house? Is that how you found me? Have you been following me home?

  She stares across at him.

  Look, Mick, I suggest that you leave while you still have the chance.

  Louise has swung down from the table.

  Louise Does anyone mind if I put my clothes on?

  In the silence she picks up her clothes and goes into the kitchen. Alice speaks quietly.

  Alice She’s not finished. She’ll look good when it’s done.

  Pause.

  Susan I asked Mick to father a child, that’s what we’re talking about.

  Mick Oh Christ.

  Susan Well we have tried over eighteen months, that’s right? And we have failed.

  Mick Right.

  Susan Which leaves us both feeling pretty stupid, pretty wretched I would guess, speaking for myself. And there is a point of decency at which the experiment should stop.

  Mick Susan …

  Susan We have nothing in common, never did, that was part of the idea …

  Mick It just feels bad …

  Susan The idea was fun, it was simple, it depended on two adults behaving like adults.

  Mick It feels very bad to be used.

  Susan I would have stopped it months ago, I would have stopped it in the second month …

  Mick You come out feeling dirty.

  Susan And how do I feel? What am I meant to feel? Crawling about in your tiny bedroom, paper-thin walls, your mother sitting downstairs …

  Mick Don’t bring my mum into this.

  Susan Scrabbling about on bombsites, you think I enjoy all that?

  Mick Yeah. Very much. I think you do.

  Pause. Alice looks away. Susan moves quietly away as if to give it up. Mick calms down.

  I just think …

  Susan I know what you think. You think I enjoy slumming around. Then why have I not looked for another father? Because the whole exploit has broken my heart.

  Pause.

  Mick You think it’s my fault.

  Susan Oh Lord, is that all you’re worried about?

  Mick You think it’s something to do with me?

  Susan That was part of it, never to have to drag through this kind of idiot argument …

  Mick Well it is quite important.

  Susan You don’t understand. You don’t understand the figures in my mind.

  Pause.

  Mick, there is gentlemen’s footwear. It must be celebrated. I have to find words to convey the sensation of walking round London on two pieces of reconstituted cardboard stuck together with horseglue. And I have to find them tonight.

  Susan goes to her desk, takes out fresh paper. Starts work. Louise comes from the kitchen, plainly dressed.

  Louise I’ll tell the others. You may be late.

  Alice stoops down and picks up a couple of papier-mâché green branches.

  Alice There are some branches. You have to tie them round your wrists.

  Louise Thanks all the same. I’ll just go as myself.

  Louise goes out. There is a silence, as Susan works at her desk. Alice sits with her hand over her eyes. Mick sits miserably staring. This goes on for some time until finally Susan speaks very quietly, without looking up from her desk.

  Susan Mick, will you go now please?

  Mick You people are cruel.

  Susan Please.

  Mick You are cruel and dangerous.

  Susan Mick.

  Mick You fuck people up. This little tart and her string of married men, all fucked up, all fucking ruined by this tart. And you … and you …

  Mick turns to Susan. Susan gets up and walks quietly from the room. A pause. Alice is looking at him.

  She is actually mad.

  Susan reappears with her revolver. She fires it just over Mick’s head. It is deafeningly loud. He falls to the ground. She fires three more times.

  Mick Jesus Christ.

  SCENE SEVEN

  Knightsbridge. October 1956.

  From the dark, music, emphatic, triumphant.

  The room we saw in Scene One. But now decorated with heavy velvet curtains, china objects and soft furniture. A diplomatic home. Both men in dinner-jackets: Brock smokes a cigar and drinks brandy. Opposite him is an almost permanently smiling Burmese, M. Aung, short, dogmatic. The music stops.

  Aung Two great nations, sir. The Americans and the English. Like the Romans and the Greeks. Americans are the Romans – power, armies, strength. The English are the Greeks – ideas, civilization, intellect. Between them they shall rule the world.

  Darwin appears putting his head round the door. He is also in a dinner-jacket. He appears exhausted.

  Darwin Good Lord, I hope you haven’t hung on for me.

  Brock Leonard, come in, how kind of you to come.

  Darwin Not at all.

  Brock ushers him in. Aung stands.

  Brock Our little gathering. We’d scarcely dared hope …

  Darwin There seemed nothing left to do.

  Brock Leonard, you know M. Aung, of course?

  Aung Mr Darwin.

  Darwin Rangoon.

  Brock Now First Secretary, Burmese Embassy.

  Aung An honour. A privilege. A moment in my career. I shake your hand. (He does so.)

  Darwin Good, good. Well …

  Brock Let me get you a drink.

  Darwin That would be very kind.

  Brock I’ll just tell my wife you’re here.

  Brock goes out. Aung smiles at Darwin.

  Aung Affairs of state?

  Darwin Yes, if you …

  Aung Say no more. We have eaten. We did not wait. In Burma we say if you cannot be on time, do not come at all.

  Darwin Really?

  Aung But of course the English it is different. At your command the lion makes its bed with the lamb.

  Darwin Hardly.

  Aung Don’t worry. All will be well. Ah Darwin of Djakarta, to have met the man, to have been alone with him. I shall dine in on this for many years.

  Darwin Dine out on this.

  Aung Ah the English language, she is a demanding mistress, yes?

  Darwin If you like.

  Aung And no one controls her so well as you sir. You beat her and the bitch obeys. (He laughs.) The language of the world. Good, good. I have learnt the phrase from you. Out of your mouth. Good, good. I am behind you sir.

  Susan appears in a superbly cut evening dress. She is dangerously cheerful. Brock follows her.

  Susan Leonard, how good of you to make an appearance.

  Darwin I’m only sorry I’ve been delayed.

  Susan and Darwin kiss.

  Susan Brock says you’re all ragged with fatigue. I hear you’ve been having the most frightful week …

  Darwin It has been, yes.

  Susan Well, don’t worry. Here at least you can relax. You’ve met Mr Aung?

  Darwin Indeed.

  Susan You
can forget everything. The words ‘Suez Canal’ will not be spoken.

  Darwin That will be an enormous relief.

  Susan They are banned, you will not hear them.

  Darwin Thank you, my dear.

  Susan Nasser, nobody will mention his name.

  Darwin Quite.

  Susan Nobody will say ‘blunder’ or ‘folly’ or ‘fiasco’. Nobody will say ‘international laughing stock’. You are among friends, Leonard. I will rustle up some food.

  She smiles at Aung.

  Mr Aung, I think the gentlemen may wish to talk.

  Aung Of course, in such company I am privileged to change sex.

  Aung gets up to follow Susan out.

  Susan Nobody will say ‘death-rattle of the ruling class’. We have stuck our lips together with marron glacé. I hope you understand.

  Susan and Aung go out. Pause.

  Brock Sorry, I …

  Darwin It’s all right.

  Brock I did ask her to calm down.

  Darwin I’m getting used to it.

  Brock She’s been giving me hell. She knows how closely you’ve been involved …

  Darwin Do you think we could leave the subject, Brock?

  Pause.

  I’m eager for the drink.

  Brock Of course.

  Darwin At least she got rid of that appalling wog. I mean, in honesty, Raymond, what are you trying to do to me?

  Brock I’m sorry, sir.

  Darwin This week of all weeks. He had his tongue stuck so far up my fundament all you could see of him were the soles of his feet.

  Brock takes over a tray of drinks.

  Mental illness, is it? Your wife?

  Brock No, she just … feels very strongly. Well, you know …

  Darwin But there has been mental illness?

  Brock In the past.

  Darwin Yes?

  Brock Before we were married. Some years ago. She’d been living very foolishly, a loose set in Pimlico. And a series of jobs, pushing herself too hard. Not eating. We got engaged when she was still quite ill, and I have tried to help her back up.

  Darwin That’s very good.

  Brock Well …

  Darwin Second marriage, of course. Often stabilizes.

  Brock What?

  Darwin The chap in Brussels.

  Pause.

  The stiff.

  Brock Ah yes.

  Darwin You don’t have to be ashamed …

  Brock No, I’m not, it’s …

  Darwin In the diplomatic service it isn’t as if a mad wife is any kind of professional advantage. On the contrary, it almost guarantees promotion.

  Brock Well …

  Darwin Some of the senior men, their wives are absolutely barking. I take the word ‘gouache’ to be the giveaway. When they start drifting out of rooms saying, ‘I think I’ll just go and do my gouaches dear,’ then you know you’ve lost them for good and all.

  Brock But Susan isn’t mad.

  Darwin No, no.

  Pause.

  Is there a Madame Aung?

  Brock In the other room.

  Darwin I knew there had to be. Somehow. And no doubt culturally inclined. Traditional dance, she’ll tell us about, in the highlands of Burma. Or the plot of Lohengrin.

  Brock Leonard …

  Darwin I’m sorry. I think I’ve had it, Brock. One more Aung and I throw in the can.

  Pause.

  Do you mind if I have a cherry?

  Brock What?

  Darwin The maraschinos. I’m so hungry. It’s all those bloody drugs we have to take.

  Brock Let me …

  Darwin Stay.

  Pause.

  We have been betrayed.

  Darwin reaches into the cocktail cherries with his fingers, but then just rolls them slowly in his palm.

  We claim to be intervening as a neutral party in a dispute between Israel and Egypt. Last Monday the Israelis launched their attack. On Tuesday we issued our ultimatum saying both sides must withdraw to either side of the canal. But, Raymond, the Israelis, the aggressors, they were nowhere near the canal. They’d have had to advance a hundred miles to make the retreat.

  Brock Who told you that?

  Darwin Last week the Foreign Secretary went abroad. I was not briefed. We believe he met with the French and the Israelis, urged the Israelis to attack. I believe our ultimatum was written in France last week, hence the mistake in the wording. The Israelis had reckoned to reach the canal, but met with unexpectedly heavy resistance. I think the entire war is a fraud cooked up by the British as an excuse for seizing the canal. And we, we who have to execute this policy, even we were not told.

  Pause.

  Brock Well … what difference does it make?

  Darwin My dear boy.

  Brock I mean it.

  Darwin Raymond.

  Brock It makes no difference.

  Darwin I was lied to.

  Brock Yes, but you were against it from the start.

  Darwin I …

  Brock Oh come on, we all were. The Foreign Office hated the operation from the very first mention, so what difference does it make now?

  Darwin All the difference in the world.

  Brock None at all.

  Darwin The government lied to me.

  Brock If the policy was wrong, if it was wrong to begin with …

  Darwin They are not in good faith.

  Brock I see, I see, so what you’re saying is, the British may do anything, doesn’t matter how murderous, doesn’t matter how silly, just so long as we do it in good faith.

  Darwin Yes. I would have defended it, I wouldn’t have minded how damn stupid it was. I would have defended it had it been honestly done. But this time we are cowboys and when the English are the cowboys, then in truth I fear for the future of the globe.

  A pause. Darwin walks to the curtained window and stares out. Brock left sitting doesn’t turn as he speaks.

  Brock Eden is weak. For years he has been weak. For years people have taunted him, why aren’t you strong? Like Churchill? He goes round, he begins to think I must find somebody to be strong on. He finds Nasser. Now he’ll show them. He does it to impress. He does it badly. No one is impressed.

  Darwin turns to look at Brock.

  Mostly what we do is what we think people expect of us. Mostly it’s wrong.

  Pause.

  Are you going to resign?

  The sound of laughter as Susan, Mme Aung, M. Aung and Alice stream into the room. Mme Aung is small, tidy and bright. Alice is spectacularly dressed.

  Susan Mme Aung has been enthralling us with the story of the new Bergman film at the Everyman.

  Darwin Ah.

  Brock Ah yes.

  Susan Apparently it’s about depression, isn’t that so, Mme Aung?

  Mme Aung I do feel the Norwegians are very good at that sort of thing.

  Susan Is anything wrong?

  Susan stands and looks at Brock and Darwin.

  Please do sit down everyone. I’m sorry, I think we may have interrupted the men.

  Brock It’s all right.

  Susan They were probably drafting a telegram …

  Brock We weren’t …

  Susan That’s what they do before they drop a bomb. They send their targets notice in a telegram. Bombs tonight, evacuate the area. Now what does that indicate to you, M. Aung?

  Brock Susan, please.

  Susan I’ll tell you what it indicates to me. Bad conscience. They don’t even have the guts to make a war any more.

  Pause.

  Darwin Perhaps Mme Aung will tell us the story of the film. This is something I’d be very keen to hear.

  Mme Aung I feel the ladies have already …

  Alice We don’t mind.

  Susan It’s all right. Go ahead. We like the bit in the mental ward.

  Mme Aung Ah yes.

  Susan Raymond will like it. You got me at the Maudsley, didn’t you dear?

  Brock Yes, yes.

 
Susan That’s where he proposed to me. A moment of weakness. Of mine, I mean.

  Brock Please, darling …

  Susan I married him because he reminded me of my father.

  Mme Aung Really?

  Susan At that point, of course, I didn’t realize just what a shit my father was.

  Pause.

  Alice I’m sorry. She has a sort of psychiatric cabaret.

  Susan laughs.

  Susan That’s very good. And there’s something about Suez which …

  Brock Will you please be quiet?

  Pause.

  The story of the film.

  Mme Aung is embarrassed. It takes her considerable effort to start.

  Mme Aung There’s a woman … who despises her husband …

  Pause.

  Susan Is it getting a little bit chilly in here? October nights. Those poor parachutists. I do know how they feel. Even now. Cities. Fields. Trees. Farms. Dark spaces. Lights. The parachute opens. We descend.

  Pause.

  Of course, we were comparatively welcome, not always ecstatic, not the Gaullists, of course, but by and large we did make it our business to land in countries where we were wanted. Certainly the men were. I mean, some of the relationships, I can’t tell you. I remember a colleague telling me of the heat, of the smell of a particular young girl, the hot wet smell, he said. Nothing since. Nothing since then. I can’t see the Egyptian girls somehow … no. Not in Egypt now. I mean, there were broken hearts when we left. I mean, there are girls today who mourn Englishmen who died in Dachau, died naked in Dachau, men with whom they had spent a single night. Well.

  Pause. The tears are pouring down Susan’s face, she can barely speak.

  But then … even for myself I do like to make a point of sleeping with men I don’t know. I do find once you get to know them you usually don’t want to sleep with them any more …

  Brock gets up and shouts at the top of his voice across the room.

  Brock Please can you stop, can you stop fucking talking for five fucking minutes on end?

  Susan I would stop, I would stop, I would stop fucking talking if I ever heard anyone else say anything worth fucking stopping talking for.

  Pause. Then Darwin moves.

  Darwin I’m sorry. I apologize. I really must go.

  He crosses the room.

  M. Aung. Farewell.

  Aung We are behind you, sir. There is wisdom in your expedition.

  Darwin Thank you.

  Aung May I say, sir, these gyps need whipping and you are the man to do it?

  Darwin Thank you very much. Mme Aung.