The Girl in Seat 24B

by Jennifer Peel

  I wasn’t sure I wanted him to go on. His look was too pained, but I didn’t stop him.

  “For me, I was on top of the world. I was traveling the world and providing for my family in a way I never dreamt was possible, but my long absences were beginning to become problematic, as you can imagine.”

  Yeah, I know a thing or two about long absences.

  “So much so that when I was home, all we did was argue about it. It wasn’t that I wanted to be away from my family, but I didn’t see any way to get around it at the time. She felt burdened and abandoned, and no amount of money could fix that for her. This all went on for some time, that is until I came home early from a trip one day and found that Marilyn … let’s just say she found a way to deal with her loneliness.”

  I think my eyes may have popped out of my head. I wasn’t expecting that, and I really didn’t want to hear it. It made me feel ill inside. I thought about getting up and running out of the room or plugging my ears and saying lalalala, but that seemed juvenile, and his look for understanding prevented me from moving.

  “So … what did you do?”

  “Well, I won’t say what I did in the moment, it was not her or my finest moment, but after the initial dust settled, I did what most would do, and rightly so, I suppose. I tried to end the marriage.”

  “But obviously that didn’t happen. How did you overcome such a betrayal?”

  He took my hands. “One day at a time, but I also began to realize how much I had taken advantage of her.”

  “But … still, she … ”

  “I’m not trying to excuse her behavior, and she never tried to either. I’m just saying I realized if I wanted to make our marriage work, I needed to make some changes.”

  “How did you ever trust her again?”

  “It was difficult. It took some doing, and a lot of time.”

  “Were you afraid she would do it again?”

  He nodded.

  “Did you ever really get over it?”

  “It was anything but easy, but we did, and we came out better and stronger for it.”

  “So are you trying to give me advice?” I smiled.

  He laughed again. “You are enchanting, and I think your husband is completely undeserving of you.”

  We both stood up. “Thank you. I won’t share what you told me.”

  “I appreciate that. Not even my daughters know.”

  I gave him a surprised look.

  “Marilyn deserves to have her spotless reputation with our girls. She’s the reason they’re the women they are today,” he responded.

  I could respect that.

  Chapter 23

  We walked out just as the nanny was bringing the kids down for dinner. I could smell the heavenly scent all the way up where I was. We walked down in a flurry of hungry kiddos. Their excitement woke up Dani, and she wasn’t thrilled at all. Her cries reverberated through the house, so much so that Michael met us on the second floor stairs.

  He extracted Dani as everyone else left us and followed their stomachs downstairs. She quieted immediately in his arms.

  “What have you been up to?” he asked as he looked adoringly at our daughter.

  “Joseph was just interviewing me for the position of first lady,” I teased.

  He looked up immediately and for some reason, he didn’t think that was very funny at all. He pulled me to him and Dani. “Then he’s asking for the biggest fight of his life.”

  “Is that so?”

  His eyes burned in response as he bent down to kiss me softly on my lips. It was the first time I had really responded since he came back. He smiled and pulled me a little closer and kissed me deeper.

  I pulled back and took a deep breath. “We should probably go downstairs.”

  “Ok, Mrs. Bishop.”

  I rolled my eyes. I didn’t need to be reminded I was married to him. But I think saying it gave him comfort. What was I going to do with him? When he kissed me like that, I knew what I wanted to do. It’s one of the reasons I had been very careful about engaging physically with him. My body would easily betray me if I wasn’t careful.

  My conversation with Joseph had not been lost on me as Michael and I walked down to dinner together, hand in hand. But how many times does it actually work out? I wanted a guarantee that wasn’t available. I knew there were no guarantees in life. Even though Michael had promised me when we got married that we were the bona fide real deal and that we would be honest with each other no matter what, he betrayed all of that. Sure, he didn’t cheat on me, per se, but it felt like he had. And yes, I recognize now some things I could have done better, things maybe I should have recognized, but I didn’t do anything out of malice or neglect. I just didn’t realize that our ideals were misaligned. I would have been willing to change and compromise, but he didn’t ever give me the opportunity. Was this our opportunity? Our opportunity, like Joseph said, to be better and stronger?

  I didn’t have much time to think about it because dinner was a boisterous affair with so many people. I wasn’t used to this many people. Michael and I both came from small families, but I found I liked the large family scene. I was happy we added one more to our small brood. I was pretty sure I could get used to a big family.

  After dinner, it was games and then dessert. One of Joseph’s daughters made the most amazing pumpkin cake, and I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation that went along with it. I think I could easily be friends with all of them, and hoped I would be. They all seemed down to earth and centered. Joseph was right, his wife had done a beautiful job as a mother.

  As the evening wore on, it was more than apparent that the children needed to be in bed. Mia was whiny and Ashton was nodding off near my side. Of course, Dani was raring to go. She was still having a hard time with her days and nights. Before Michael and I even asked, Mia said she wanted to sleep in the children’s room. I was hoping when we got Ashton awake enough to ask him, he would disagree, but he surprised me and said he wanted to as well. I could tell my husband was pleased with the turn of events. I hoped I could just override them, I was the mom, after all, but I could tell the kids were looking forward to it, and having all of our kids in the same room was probably not the best idea, because Dani could wake the dead when she really got going.

  We all went to our room first. Ashton and Mia changed into their pajamas and brushed their teeth. Michael offered to take them up and tuck them in. I agreed and quickly used the time while he was gone to change myself without him present. I threw on my flannel pajama pants and a matching form-fitted t-shirt, brushed my teeth and washed my face, and brought my baby to bed to feed her.

  Michael returned a half-hour later. He shut the door and stood there for a moment staring at us. “I’m not sure there is anything more beautiful than watching you nurse our babies.”

  He was laying it on thick, but I smiled at him. “How did Ashton and Mia do?”

  “Mia decided maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, so she is in Ashton’s bed.”

  That was my girl.

  He propelled himself off the door and headed toward his suitcase. He had no qualms changing in front of me. I tried to just focus on Dani, but my eyes kept wandering toward my now bare-chested husband. Oh … he looked good. I knew he worried about getting older, but so far he had done it very well. He just threw on some pajama pants and told me he would be right back. He was staying shirtless on purpose. As my heart rate increased, I told myself he was still sleeping on the floor.

  He didn’t take long joining me. He sat near me on the edge of the bed smiling like a fool and looking like he couldn’t have been happier. I wasn’t sure how to feel, so I just looked down at my baby who was just finishing up eating. I held her up to burp her, but Michael took her for me. I had missed him doing that at night for me. He stood up with her and talked to her as he patted her back. She looked so itty bitty next to him. I couldn’t say it enough, he looked good. Really good, especially as he held our baby against his bare chest.

&nb
sp; I just watched him pace back and forth with her. He kept looking my way too. The tension in the room was palpable. I almost felt like I needed a cold shower. Instead I just sank into the plush bed and pulled the covers up.

  Michael magically got her to burp and fall asleep quickly. That was so wrong. Did she not realize who birthed her and carried her for nine months? Oh well. I was just grateful she was asleep at a decent time. He laid her gently in her crib and then looked at me like, now what? That was a very good question. I thought for a minute. Do I invite him to bed? I knew what that meant. It meant I was willing to try and work this out, and there was no going back. My heart was just pounding out of my chest. I didn’t know what to do, so I just threw the pillows next to me at him. I instantly felt horrible. His face just dropped. He slowly walked over with pillows in hand to turn off the lights.

  I lay down on my side to face where the baby lay just a few feet away from me. I heard Michael open the closet to retrieve the extra blankets. I felt like I couldn’t think straight. I had so many conflicting emotions. Then I felt Michael near. He placed himself on the floor between the bed and the baby.

  “What are you doing?” I whispered.

  He reached up from the ground and held my hand. “I just want to be near you,” he responded.

  We just laid there for several minutes, holding hands in the dark, not saying a word. It must have been kind of uncomfortable for him to hold his arm up, but he never made a move to let go. It was really sweet, and it made me feel guiltier.

  “Carly?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I loved seeing you in action today.”

  “I felt the same way watching you.” Silence. “Michael?”

  “Yeah?”

  I took a very deep breath and tried to calm the butterflies in my stomach. It was so weird to feel this way about my own husband. “Do you want to … not sleep on the floor?”

  He jumped up like a spring and practically vaulted himself over me. Before I knew it, his arm was around me and I could feel his warm breath against my head. That’s when the emotion came. I felt so dumb crying, but this was a big deal for me.

  “Baby, are you crying?”

  I just nodded my head yes.

  He turned me toward him, so now I was facing his bare chest. I just continued to cry into it.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I just missed this … and I’m scared.”

  He held me tighter. “What are you afraid of?”

  “In a matter of speaking, you.”

  He let go just enough to look at me and stroke my tear stained cheeks. “Why are you afraid of me?”

  “Because I miss you and I want you, but I don’t know if I should after what you did. How do I know that you won’t wake up tomorrow or another ten years from now and decide that you don’t want me again? Do you even know the power you have to hurt me? How can I trust you with that power?”

  He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head. “Carly, I know nothing I say will ever make up for what I did to you. I know that I have a long road ahead to earn your trust, but I will do everything I can, because I do know the power I have, and I’m so sorry I abused it.”

  He kissed my forehead. “Baby, remember the night you gave me back your ring and told me not to come back?”

  How could I forget? I just nodded my head yes.

  “I felt real, physical pain. I know I didn’t do what I should have then, but you leaving me hurt like heck, and then having you slip further away from me was unbearable. You don’t know how sorry I am if I caused you even a small amount of the pain I felt when you left me. I know my promises are hollow right now, and I’m asking you to take a shot in the dark, but I love you and I don’t ever want to be without you again.”

  “I love you too,” I whispered.

  Even in the dark I could see him smile before his lips found mine. It was almost like the first time he kissed me, but better because we knew each other and all of our nuances. It was amazing. The tears that fell now were the kind that only joy can bring. I knew we had a long way to go, but there was something in his kiss that told me he meant what he said. It wasn’t a hungry kiss, but a slow, I have all of the time in the world, kiss. It was the sweetest kiss I had ever had and I wished it could have gone on all night, but as parents with a newborn, that wasn’t in the cards. As he held me to him, I laid my head on his chest and felt as if I had come home. I fell asleep quickly and soundly.

  When Dani did wake us up at around three a.m., Michael kissed me once and got up and changed her before handing her to me to nurse her. As much as I missed my sleep, there was something about gazing down on her sweet little face in the quiet of the night that I loved. Tonight it was made sweeter as I rested against Michael, while Dani ate to her heart’s content. I had missed sharing these moments with him. And he seriously had the touch where she was concerned. Within half-an-hour, she was back in her crib sleeping soundly, and I found myself back in her daddy’s arms, more at peace than I had felt in over a year.

  I naturally woke up a little after six a.m. It was the most sleep I had had since Dani was born. As I stirred, Michael opened his eyes.

  “Good morning, gorgeous,” he whispered.

  “Good morning, Bishop.”

  He hugged me tight and kissed the top of my head. “I’ve missed that name.”

  “I’ve missed that guy.”

  “I missed him too,” he replied. I thought it was odd, but I kind of got it.

  My hands found their way down his chest to another name I missed. It was the only tattoo either one of us had. I still couldn’t believe when he got it, but you do weird things in foreign countries when you are punch-drunk in love on your honeymoon. I brushed my fingers over his heart and 24B.

  “I’m thinking of tattooing Carly on my butt.”

  I started laughing quietly. “Please don’t.”

  “You could get a matching one on yours that says Michael or Bishop.”

  “How about you just give me my wedding ring back and we’ll call it good.”

  “Oh.”

  “What? Did you lose it?”

  “Of course not, but I don’t have it with me.”

  “That’s fine, but I think poor Joseph may get his hopes up now.”

  He growled and rolled over so he hovered over me sexily. “I don’t care that he’s guarded by the Secret Service, he would be on the losing end of that battle.”

  I rolled my eyes at his macho machinations.

  He stroked the length of my cheek. “I love you, Carly.”

  Before I could respond, he kissed me, but hungrily this time. We got all sorts of tangled up. It was a great way to start the day, but alas our baby decided it was time to get up too. Michael kissed me hard one more time before Dani hit a fever pitched scream; he walked over to pick her up and changed her diaper. I loved hearing him coo at her.

  While I took care of her, he showered and got ready for the day and went up to check on our older babies. Co-parenting really was the best. Michael brought back down my pajama-clad rug rats who jumped on the bed along with Michael. Happy didn’t even begin to describe how I felt at this moment looking at my whole family together. It was like Joseph said, perfect moments.

  We all stayed on the bed and took turns holding Dani. For Mia, Dani was a doll replacement. In fact, ever since Michael had come back and we brought Dani home, her doll, Jilly, was hardly brought out. Ashton was very gentle and loving toward Dani. He was going to be a terrific big brother to both of his sisters. Maybe he would even forgive me for not giving him a brother. Michael and I kept smiling at each other as we watched our children. It made me wish I could freeze time, but I did the next best thing: I got my camera out and took several pictures.

  As I looked through my lens, I hoped and prayed I was making the right decision. Being a family felt right. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, and I knew the road before us would have some bumps and probably some major potholes, but I couldn’t think of anyone else
I wanted to take that road with more than Michael.

  We spent the rest of that weekend taking chilly walks on the beach and going to church together with the Xavier family. Michael hadn’t been to church in years. That was my kind of thing, not his, but as we sat in the beautiful cathedral hand–in-hand on Sunday, Michael whispered that he wanted to make this a family thing when we returned to Pine Apple. I couldn’t have been happier about that, and I knew his parents would be thrilled to have us all together every Sunday.

  Monday came and Michael and Joseph were gone most of the day. Joseph wasn’t campaigning, but he was at his campaign headquarters thanking everyone who had worked so tirelessly on his campaign. He also had to do some interviews for the national and cable stations. I used the day to take pictures of each of his daughters’ families and to get more acquainted with them. Oddly, I couldn’t tell if they wanted their dad to win or lose the next night. Of course they wanted him to win. They felt like he could do a lot of good for our country, but they knew how hard it was going to be on their family. It had already been rough. I couldn’t imagine having to live under such a microscope, and we all know how we are when someone belittles or defames those we love; that was something they would have to deal with daily. It would be quite the sacrifice. I knew I would never look at any president the same way ever again.

  Monday night everyone seemed on edge. I tried to keep my brood up in our room and away from the fray. Michael, of course, needed to be in the middle of it, but I wanted to give their family the alone time they deserved with their dad. I knew tomorrow morning there would be news crews and people galore crawling everywhere. I almost wished the kids and I had gone home, but when Michael came to bed late that night, he held me in such way that said he needed me to be there with him, and more importantly, he wanted me there with him.

  Tuesday dawned early for Michael and for Dani too. We tried to enjoy just a few moments of quiet time together before Michael left to be with Joseph. I tried to stay out of the way. I spent most of my day in the playroom with the nanny; frequently we would have adult visitors, including Michael who snuck up a couple of times. Michael asked me to join him, along with Joseph and his family, in the large theater room that night after the kids had gone to bed. That’s where they were watching all the election results come in. He offered to hold Dani if that would help. It probably would; she, like her mother, loved to sleep in his arms. I agreed to, even though I felt a little self-conscious. I knew that room would have a camera crew in it, but I couldn’t miss out on the experience.