Hold Your Breath 01 - Stone Devil Duke

by K. J. Jackson

  “Not again.”

  “Again. But a little cleaner this time.” Devin dug around in the thick branches, finding something, and he pushed his arm upward. Near Aggie’s feet, an opening appeared in the greenery, just big enough to crawl through.

  “Go on in.” Devin stood and nudged Aggie.

  She looked at him, amazed wonder on her face, then down at the hole, and then back up again at Devin.

  “Go on—I don’t think it will collapse on you.”

  “You don’t think?” Aggie wrenched an eyebrow at him, then went to her hands and knees and scooted through the opening. Devin followed.

  Standing up, Aggie’s eyes adjusted from the brightness of the Circle, to the darkness surrounding her. Then she started to laugh. She was in a tiny cabin. Three walls were made of logs—as was the ceiling, and judging by the tweets, a number of birds had taken up residence in the crannies.

  The fourth wall was the shrubbery they had just passed through, and it let shreds of light into the room. Dark wood planks made the floor and an upside down drawbridge had created the hole they just went through.

  Aggie walked across the room to a small bookcase overflowing with books. Some looked like they had weathered well, others looked fragile. A desk was next to it with a neat stack of paper, and a lantern and matches on it. Even covered with years of dust and dirt, everything was neat and orderly.

  Aggie turned to her husband. “Devin, this is fantastic. How long has it been since you were here?”

  “I must have been about eleven the last time I was here.” A fond smile full of memories danced on Devin’s lips.

  “Who built it?”

  Devin walked about the cabin, inspecting treasures long forgotten, his large form swallowing up the small space. “I did, with Thompson’s help.”

  “Thompson helped?”

  “Yes, but not like you are thinking. I stumbled upon the Circle after getting lost trailing my father when he was hunting. I was searching for home, but then I found the clearing and realized I had found something better than home.”

  Devin went to a side wall and began to crank a round lever. Aggie watched in amazement as the ceiling started to rise and golden rays of light began to peer in. “And that is why the trail here was so complicated—I marked my path when I left that first day, but I was a lost six-year old, so the trail is quite contorted. And then I was always afraid of losing the trail to the Circle if I tried a more direct route. So I never did. Once I knew the trail well enough, I added the branches off the path to sidetrack anyone on it. I was going to be the only one that knew about the Circle.”

  “Were your parents very worried when you finally got home that first day?”

  Devin’s face flushed dark for a moment, then he turned from her to secure the lever in place with a latch. Aggie immediately regretted her question.

  “No, as a matter of fact. They had both retired to their separate quarters by the time I returned.” He picked up a book from the desk and gently blew the dust off it. “Thompson and several of the staff were the only ones out looking for me. And did I ever get a scolding from him when he got back to the house. I was sleeping soundly by then. Thompson came banging into my room, scaring me silly, because he looked a mess and his usual composure was gone. It was one of the few times I ever remember Thompson being openly angry with me.”

  “Thompson, angry? I do not believe it. He is a pussycat.”

  “To you, maybe. I don’t know how you did it, but you have charmed the haughty nose right off of him. With me he has never hesitated to let me know when he is displeased with me. But that time when I was lost…” Devin shook his head. “That time really got to him.”

  Aggie smiled, watching Devin clean off books of his youth. “So when did he help you build this?”

  “After that first day, I came back here again and again, each time wearing down the path a bit more, bringing my books. It took one long walk back to Stonewell in the rain, for me to decide to build a shelter. And my first attempt was pathetic—twigs and sticks.”

  He set a few warped books onto the desk. “I spent more and more time here, and then Thompson, being the nosy ass he can be, followed me one day.” Devin chuckled. “I was lying under my twigs, reading, when Thompson’s head poked through the bushes at me. You can imagine my outrage.”

  “I can. I have seen it.”

  “But all he did was ‘harrumph’ and leave. Said nothing.”

  Devin moved to a wooden chest with a heavy iron latch, opened it, and pulled out two faded blankets. “For days I stewed about it, but Thompson never said a word. And then one day, I walked into my room and on the middle of my bed was a tiny replica of the Circle. It had miniature trees and shrubs, some moss for the grass in the clearing, and an improved shelter in this spot. It was the neatest thing I had ever seen. The model cabin was as it is now—complete with the opening ceiling and hidden entryway. And it was built exactly as it was to be life-size, so I could just follow the construction of the miniature.”

  Devin knelt with the blankets at the wall of shrubbery and crawled back out of the cabin into the Circle. Aggie followed him out.

  “He would be horrified if he knew I told you, but he is actually a skilled craftsman and carpenter, although no one knows that about him. His father was a carpenter, and he learned at an early age. But he has kept his skill well-hidden so as to not threaten his position or the respect he demands from the staff.”

  Standing, Devin shook the mustiness out of one of the blankets and Aggie followed suit with the other.

  “He taught me everything late at night in the kitchens using the model, about how to build the cabin correctly. And I honestly do not think he ever came back here.”

  Devin laid out the blankets on the grass mounds in the middle of the Circle. Then he stripped off his jacket, folding it and setting it on the edge of the closest blanket.

  “Devin, that is a wonderful story. I knew I liked Thompson for good reason. Plus, this actually proves you did not just appear one day, full-grown man out of thin air. I was beginning to wonder.”

  “Good. Will this finally stop your harping on me about my childhood?”

  Aggie sat down on one of the blankets and gave the question real thought, then shook her head. “No, probably not, but it may temper me just a bit.”

  Devin sank to his knees, facing her. “I will just have to keep you quiet other ways then.”

  Instant predator, he straddled Aggie, moving up her body, forcing her to recline onto the blanket. He hovered over her for a moment, eyes searching her face.

  Breath held, Aggie’s chest tightened at the glimpse she was seeing of Devin’s soul. She had no idea her heart could actually hurt like this when she was with him—physically hurt—a constant crush in her chest that never allowed a full breath to take root.

  He came down on her hard, lips meeting lips as though he tried to take her very essence. Then he lightened, the kiss turning long and soft, and curling Aggie’s toes against the earth.

  Just as Aggie started to work her hands under Devin’s shirt, he abruptly stopped and rolled off of her.

  Breathless and eyes still closed, it took Aggie a moment before she realized Devin had truly stopped and wasn’t rolling back on top of her. Disgruntled, she propped herself up on an elbow, and glared at him as he stretched out on his back.

  He chuckled at her distorted face. “Lie back down, Aggs. This is the other thing I used to do out here—”

  “Begin to ravage women and then abruptly stop like a lunatic?” Aggie went to her back, her right hand cupped under her head.

  “No, you are the first and only woman I have ever had here.” He reached out and put a hand on her flat stomach, fingers running over her hip-bone. “And I do intend to take you here in this spot. But first, look up. I just wanted you to experience this as well. I used to lie like this for hours, not moving, soaking in the moist air, staring up at the passing clouds.”

  Placated, Aggie looked up at t
he translucent blue sky, and watched as a rolling white cloud meandered by. She was trying to imagine the man next to her as a little boy, lost in the perfect wilderness around him. Time standing still. Nothing to be scared of. Nothing to think about. Devin had no idea how much she needed a place like this.

  They stayed on the faded blankets, silent, staring up at the sky for a long period of time. When the passing white clouds stretched out, shifting to grey, Aggie’s thoughts followed suit before she could stop them.

  “It is one month we have been married.” Aggie’s voice broke through the noise of trees rustling.

  Devin shifted his arm and slid it under Aggie’s head, pulling her onto his chest. “Yes. One month.” He kissed the top of her head.

  “Devin…” Aggie paused, fingers playing on the shirt over his stomach, debating whether to continue. She took a deep breath. “It has also been almost a month since we have talked about my…problem.”

  Devin stiffened. Silence.

  She winced, knowing she was moving into treacherous waters. But she needed to know. “I have not asked because I believe that you are taking care of it.” Aggie turned her head and set her chin on his chest so she could see his face. Not looking at her, he kept his eyes fixated on the sky, line of his jaw flexing.

  “I still need to know, Devin. I gave you so few clues, and I know he must be near impossible to find. So I cannot help my worry. I need to know when he is taken care of—if he has not been already. I need to know when I can stop worrying about him and my family…and you.”

  Devin sat up, and Aggie slipped awkwardly off his chest. “You are worried?”

  His voice sent a chill down her spine. She had asked all wrong.

  “Devin, I trust you. I do. And this month has shown me—I can almost touch it, touch the life I truly want—because this month has been wonderful. Simple. The two of us. It is simple and beautiful when it is you and I. I have seen what this is like. What life could actually be. I can feel the happiness that could be mine. But it isn’t mine. It cannot be. Not with this threat hanging over my head. And I want us more than anything.”

  Aggie watched the line of his jaw tighten with each passing moment. He stood up, staring at her, hands clenched at his sides, and Aggie could see nothing in his face. His voice had chilled her, but the blank set of his face froze her heart.

  “Devin, you need to understand, every time I have let my guard down, every time I stopped—for even a moment—he attacked. And my guard has been down for a month. And that terrifies me.”

  “Are you saying you don’t feel safe?”

  Aggie flew to her feet, her hand on his arm. “No—you know that’s not why I ask—”

  “Because the only reason for you to worry is if you don’t feel safe.” His arm jerked away and he turned from her.

  Lightning quick, Aggie’s own ire exploded. “Devin, this man has been terrorizing me for more than a year—and you want me to just stop worrying? He killed my father. He carved a blade through my flesh. He tried to get into my home and do God-knows-what to my mother and sister. My family. The only family I have left. And you want me not to worry? To not ask? To just believe the world is all roses and what?” Her arms swept about. “Perfect little Circles?”

  Devin whipped around, icy glare boring into her. “Yes. That is all you should believe, Aggie. That is all you need to know.”

  “No. Unfair. I have given you a month with not one question on the subject from me—and I, of all people, deserve to know what is going on.” Aggie tried to notch her voice into control with little success.

  “You don’t think I want this? What we have? I have been able to recognize myself again. Little parts of me I thought were lost, are actually still in here.” Her palm pounded on her chest. “Happiness, laughter, love. I thought I lost all of that, all of who I was. I have seen glimpses of myself again, not of who I became. What I have done. I have killed people. And what that made me into. So no, of course I would rather live this life, this one—the one where I don’t have to be terrified and carry a gun and look over my shoulder.”

  Her arm swung wild. “But that can never happen. Not until he is dead. Until he is dead or in prison, I am only fooling myself. I cannot be who I was. Protecting myself, my family—it is still my responsibility and getting married didn’t change that fact.”

  “It did change.” Devin snatched her flailing wrist mid-air, interrupting her tirade. He leaned in, lethal, inches from her face. “It changed the second you said ‘I do.’ At that moment you became mine. I am your family.”

  She tried to jerk away. He gripped her wrist harder.

  “You, your problems, and most definitely your responsibilities.” He threw her arm down. “I would thank you to remember you are a wife now, duchess. You have no responsibilities. They are mine.”

  The fury in Devin’s eyes stole all words from Aggie’s lips.

  Silently, he turned from her, bundling up the blankets and going into the cabin. Aggie could hear him cranking the rooftop down. He came back into the Circle, grabbed his jacket, and barreled through the shrubs. Aggie had no choice but to follow.

  The returning trip was silent. And painfully long.

  { Chapter 17 }

  Exhausted, both in body and spirit, Aggie crawled alone into the bed in her chambers for the first time. Sheets cold, they did nothing to ward off the chill that had set in when it had started to mist on the way home, soaking her to the bone.

  It was dark when they got back to Stonewell. Without word to Devin, she had disappeared into her rooms, changed out of her sopping riding outfit, and knowing the pit in her stomach would not allow food, decided to forego dinner and crawl into bed.

  Curling into a ball under the covers, she tried to generate enough heat to stop the shivering. She had just dozed off when thunderous steps came to the door connecting her room to Devin’s. The crack of the wood swinging hard into the wall set her upright, her heart violent in her chest.

  “You will not leave our bed.” Devin stood in the doorway wearing pants but no shirt. In the dim light from his room, Aggie could see his chest heaving. “We are not resolved, but you will not leave our bed. Do you understand.”

  It was a command, not a question, but Aggie nodded nonetheless. She didn’t have the energy to resolve anything either. And as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she still ached to be next to him, angry or not.

  He left the doorway and disappeared. Aggie flipped back her covers, grabbed her robe, and switched beds. Her sleep was fitful until Devin finally joined her, setting his hand on her waist, his warmth filling the bed. Darkness took her over.

  Hours later, a snap crash of thunder woke her. Cold wind and a mist escaping from a brutal rain blew in through the open window next to the bed. Half-conscious, Aggie hopped up, closed the window, and dove back under the warm covers.

  Rolling over, she discovered she was alone in the enormous bed. It surprised her, even in spite of their earlier argument. Devin was almost always next to her when she opened her eyes.

  Aggie stared at the emptiness next to her, then reached her hand under the covers to feel Devin’s side of the bed. It was cold. He had left the bed a while ago.

  Why demand she get into his bed, and then leave? Was he that upset with her? It didn’t make sense.

  Was it that he tried, but then couldn’t stand to lie next to her?

  At that, Aggie’s heart started to thud, slow and painful. His current bull-headedness aside, she had begun to believe that a life with him was going to be more than she could have possibly hoped for. In the deepest corners of her soul, she knew she loved him. And she had even begun to believe that Devin might someday love her in return.

  She wanted this life with him. Wanted his bed. Wanted to love him. Wanted him to love her.

  And now he had left their bed in the middle of the night.

  How often had he done that? How many nights could he not stand to sleep the whole night with her? He had done it before. Did he lea
ve every night? How many times had he left their bed?

  Aggie knew she was working herself up, but she didn’t care. If he was deserting their bed, she needed to know why. And then she needed to end it.

  She threw the covers off and got up, yanking a robe around her shoulders. Sliding her feet into a pair of silk slippers, she walked into the hallway after finding no sign of Devin in his adjacent rooms.

  The lightning flashed at quick intervals, producing enough light that Aggie didn’t bother to light a candle. Checking in several of the bedrooms along the way, she found nothing and went down the main staircase. She veered to the library first, since that was where his was the last time she looked for him in the middle of the night.

  Stepping into the library, a thunder clash hit, making her jump as it shook the floor. She stopped to let her nerves settle, waiting for the next flash of lightning to hit in order to look around. Three successive flashes came, and Aggie was disappointed to not find Devin.

  The next logical place was the study, and Aggie hurried along the hall. Sliding open the study door, Aggie stepped into darkness. She scanned the masculine room as intervals of lightning came and went, checking past the desk and the large leather chair behind it. All sat neat and tidy.

  Biting her lip, Aggie stared into the darkness, sighing. She was going to have to light a lamp and search every room in this place. And then the stables. And then, hell, she would grab a horse and fight her way to the Circle if it meant finding Devin and getting some answers.

  Aggie spun on her heel to leave, just as a lightning flash filled the room, and out of the edge of her eye she saw a slight movement in the corner of the room. A leg twitched in front of a chair facing one of the floor-to-ceiling panes of glass that lined the entire north edge of the room.

  She moved to where she could see who was in the chair, already knowing the answer.

  Facing the thundering storm, Devin sat in a winged leather chair, his forehead buried deep in his propped-up hand. He wasn’t sleeping—his leg movement that had caught her eye had already clued her to that. He was just sitting in the dark, facing the rain.