Mary, Will I Die?

by Shawn Sarles

  And just like that, Grace was back, the drawing she’d found burning a hole in her pocket. Because of course she had the demon illustration she’d found on the stairwell with her. She’d carried it around the whole week. Should she ask about it now? It wasn’t like he knew she had it. He might not even know he’d lost it.

  Or maybe he’d left it behind for her. Maybe he’d seen her looking at him that day in the hallway and drawn it just for her. She wanted to show him, but she also knew how stalker-y that might seem.

  “So are you here by yourself?” Grace changed direction, feeling confident suddenly. Hoping that maybe he’d want to watch the second set with her. “I didn’t know you came to these.”

  “My mom’s the coach,” Calvin replied, shrugging, a fact that Grace hadn’t realized. “I’ve been coming to games since I was a kid. That top bleacher might as well have my name on it.”

  “She still makes you come?”

  “She doesn’t like leaving me at home by myself.” Calvin half smiled, his eyes suddenly zoning out, darting over her shoulder for a few seconds before he refocused.

  “Are you okay?” Grace asked. His hands had started trembling and one side of his face had contracted into a wince.

  “I’m fine,” Calvin assured her, but his expression only got more pained. “It’s just a headache. I get these kind of migraine things every now and then.”

  “Can I get you something?” Grace wanted to reach out and still his shaking hands. Or set her cool palm against his forehead. But she kept to herself as he waved her worry away, forcing a smile through his obvious discomfort.

  “I just need to lie down for a bit.”

  And then, before Grace could say anything else, Calvin dashed away, leaving her alone, a battlefield of fallen popcorn puffs lying at her feet. Slowly, Grace turned around, looking behind her as if she might see what had caused Calvin’s sudden sickness, but it was only the popcorn machine, the glass reflecting a greasy, distorted image back at her.

  Even the shy boys can’t stand to be near you.

  Grace shook her head, but her murky reflection didn’t follow suit. Its eyes glowed instead, turning into bloodred rubies.

  They should make a monster movie about you. About all the boys you’ve scared away.

  The popcorn maker suddenly ground to life, rattling as fresh kernels exploded out of its mouth like firecrackers.

  Grace stuttered backward, blinking at her reflection in the glass, her eyes back to normal. She held her gaze for another second and then snapped around, heading for the exit, her phone already out to message her dad that she needed him to pick her up early. But she wasn’t watching where she was going. She didn’t see the girl coming out of the locker room. She didn’t hear her giggles, the way she held her tongue between her teeth as she tried to cover up her excitement. Grace veered away at the last second and managed to only clip the girl, but the glancing blow was enough to send both of their phones clattering to the ground.

  “Watch it,” Elena snarled, the laughter leeched from her voice.

  Grace paled, not looking up as she scurried across the gym floor in pursuit of Elena’s phone. She couldn’t believe her luck. First Calvin and now this. She prayed the screen hadn’t cracked.

  “Here, I’ve got it,” Grace began, but another pair of athletic shoes had come through the locker room’s swinging doors.

  “Drop something?”

  Steph dangled the phone in front of them, and Grace felt like she might spontaneously combust from Elena’s death-ray glare. Whatever words they’d exchanged in that locker room must have been intense.

  “Give it to me.” Elena pushed Grace out of the way, her hand outstretched. But right then, a new message popped up on the screen for all three girls to see.

  A boy’s torso flashed in front of them, some headless body in swim trunks flexing his chest and abs for the camera. Grace couldn’t help but gasp, which she was sure only made Elena madder. But Elena didn’t say anything or even look at them as she snatched the phone away from Steph and stormed back onto the court, Steph following a few beats behind her, leaving Grace there by herself.

  But even as Grace hurried outside to meet her dad, she couldn’t help thinking about what she’d seen. She recognized that giggle now. The one she’d heard before her collision with Elena. It was the telltale sound of flirtation. Of a girl in love. She had never received those kinds of messages from a boy, but that hadn’t stopped her from imagining them, from feeling those same bubbles fizzing in her stomach.

  However, something worried her at the back of her brain. Something it didn’t take her long to realize. That headless boy who had popped up on Elena’s phone—it definitely wasn’t the girl’s boyfriend. It wasn’t Henry.

  “I’ll have dinner ready in a half hour,” Steph’s mom promised as they walked into the house. “Think you can wait that long? Your aunt Ellen’s dropping your brother off.”

  “No problem,” Steph replied as she dropped her gym bag by the door. “I’ve got homework anyways.”

  “Take an apple to snack on.”

  Steph’s mom opened the fridge, which looked pretty bare, and took out the last piece of fruit. Steph felt guilty accepting it. But she was hungry, so she took it, wishing there was something more she could do to help out around the house.

  “You were great tonight, honey,” Steph’s mom said proudly.

  And Steph had to take a bite of the apple to hide her smile. Her mom had missed the first half of the match, but she’d finished with her mopping and cleaning up in time to catch the end, when Steph had been better than good. When she’d been phenomenal. Somehow, she’d shifted into another gear. Unlocked a new skill level. It’d started with a couple of ace serves. And then she had thrown up a few stuffed solo blocks. Even Elena had admitted that Steph had a hot hand, and had begrudgingly started to set her, Steph’s kill total climbing to her season high as she hit over four hundred.

  She’d led them to victory. And she could still feel the girls crowded around her at the end, patting her on the shoulder and giving her hugs. Acknowledging that she had the stuff. Noticing her for the first time.

  “If you keep this up, you might even get a scholarship.” Steph’s mom beamed at her as she got out a pot and a box of pasta. “Which is why homework is important. So go. I’ll call you when dinner is ready.”

  And Steph made her way out of the kitchen. As she passed through the living room, which her mom had converted into a third bedroom where she slept, Steph could hear her mother running the faucet and humming to herself. It was a small house with thin walls, which didn’t leave much room for privacy. But they made do. Having the room at the end of the hall helped, even if it was tiny.

  Wedging the apple between her front teeth, Steph pushed her bedroom door open and slipped inside. She unshouldered her backpack and let it thud against the floor. Then she followed it down, plopping into the only chair the room had to offer. She took another bite of the apple and set the rest down on the corner of her desk. She closed her eyes and concentrated on her chewing, the apple quickly turning to sweet mush in her mouth. She rolled her shoulders back and stretched her fingers. She cocked her wrists. She was definitely going to feel that match in the morning. The soreness in her muscles and the tightness in her joints. She’d probably have a bruise on her hip, too, from when she dove after that ball and collided with Elena.

  Elena.

  While Steph felt she had won over most of her teammates with her stellar play that night, she knew she’d only made things worse with their setter. When the girl had stormed off after they lost that first set, Steph had gone after her without really thinking.

  At first she’d thought she could calm her down. Elena was the only setter they had, and that meant that they needed her on the court and in a good headspace if they had any chance at winning. But when Steph had swung into the locker room and seen the girl on her phone texting away, something had finally snapped in her.

  She’d yelled at E
lena. Right there in their locker room. She hadn’t held one thing back. She’d spelled out exactly why they were losing, that it was all Elena’s fault because she refused to set their best hitter. She’d barely gotten Steph the ball the entire first set. They had to play as a team if they wanted to win. And teamwork started with Elena letting go of whatever petty grudge she had against Steph.

  Unsurprisingly, Steph’s outburst hadn’t gone over well. But Elena hadn’t called her anything she hadn’t already heard. More rounds of Sasquatch Steph. Freak. Giraffe Girl. Steph had managed to weather it all, at least to Elena’s face. And that seemed to have made Elena even angrier. She’d practically shoved Steph into the lockers. Then she’d turned back to her phone and kept right on texting, actually giggling as she left Steph behind.

  But when Steph had walked back onto that court, she’d realized she couldn’t wait around to be handed her chance to shine. She had to take it for herself. She had to go after her serves and attack every free ball. She had to jump higher and stretch her arms farther. She had to play every point like it was set point. No excuses. No letting up. And somehow, it’d actually worked.

  Steph opened her eyes and stared at her reflection in the small mirror propped up on her desk. Her hair was even crazier than usual, the curls flying all over the place, her face still splotched from the match, her long neck sprouting high from her collarbones. But for once, she didn’t feel strange. She didn’t feel like an alien or a freak. She felt like a winner.

  Her eyes flicked to the wall, to the plaque and medal hanging there—Rookie of the Year and Tournament Champion. They were the only trophies she’d ever won. She’d only started playing volleyball that summer, for a local club team. Her mom had signed her up so she wouldn’t be home alone all day. Steph hadn’t taken it seriously at first, not until she’d realized she had a knack for the game. She’d found her footing out there on the court. She felt strong when she played—sure of herself. She was the first to sign up for the freshman team when Coach Lee had posted tryouts earlier that year. Volleyball had given her confidence. It had given her something that she was not just good at—but great at. Something that might even help her family.

  If she could get a scholarship, then she could go to college for free. And even though that was still four years away, she got goose bumps thinking about it. She just had to keep playing like she had today. And also keep her grades up. Which reminded her …

  Steph leaned over and unzipped her backpack, pulling out her history textbook.

  Her whole desk rattled as she dropped the thick volume on it. Grabbing a pencil, Steph opened her notebook and read through the essay prompt. Something about the first American colonies. She read through the question again and flipped through her textbook.

  As her eyes traveled over the words, she couldn’t help but feel distracted. It was like a gentle breeze had whipped up in the back of her mind. Soft and subtle. Haunting.

  She tried to shake the feeling. She tried to focus on the textbook. But it persisted.

  The strange echoes insisted she listen. So Steph looked up from the book and did just that.

  Only, nothing came to her. The feeling had left, gone as suddenly as it had arrived. Steph waited another second and turned back to her textbook. But this time something caught her eye. A twinkle of light glinting off the medal hanging on her wall. And when she looked, the light shined off her plaque, its reflection almost blinding her. Then she saw a flash of another world. Another room. Another girl. And she heard it. The whisper breaking through.

  Beautiful, isn’t she?

  Steph leaned forward, getting a closer look at the girl, at her short hair and bent head, the pencil tucked behind her ear as she concentrated on something in her lap.

  She knew this girl without having ever met her. She’d seen her in dreams. Peered at her in the edges of mirrors. Looked for her across the volleyball court, hoping to find her on the opposing team. She’d searched for her ever since she’d seen her face in Elena’s grandmother’s mirror five years ago.

  Soulmates.

  Steph startled at that word, at its implication.

  There’s no point in fighting it.

  Steph shook her head. She didn’t need to fight it because it wasn’t true.

  It’s who you are.

  No. It wasn’t. It couldn’t be.

  What are you so afraid of? Disappointing your mother? Alienating your teammates?

  Steph’s hands flew to her ears and she tried to block out the voice, the venomous thoughts seeping in.

  Being more of a freak than you already are?

  “No,” Steph shouted, jolting forward in her chair, heart pounding as if she’d woken from a nightmare.

  A trickle of sweat slipped down the back of her neck as she sneaked a glance at the plaque. But the window was gone, the metal cold steel again. And she suddenly couldn’t tell if she’d been dreaming.

  “Steph,” her mom called from the kitchen, interrupting the girl’s racing thoughts. “Dinnertime. Come wash up so we can say grace.”

  Steph’s hands trembled as she took a last tentative peek at the plaque. The metal flashed again, but this time it brought her a different vision. A horrible one. A woman with bloody lips and weeping eyes. A wicked grin that threatened to swallow her whole.

  Steph lurched back and almost fell out of her chair, but the vision had already vanished, there and gone so quickly that she’d hardly had time to register it.

  She sat there, rubbing her eyes. She must just be tired from the game—seeing things that weren’t there, daydreaming about a girl who didn’t exist. She couldn’t like her even if she did exist.

  But what if she could?

  Steph quickly shoved that thought away. Gulping it down deep. Locking it where it couldn’t see the light of day.

  This was it.

  Elena could feel it in her bones. Coaches didn’t just call their players out of class in the middle of the day for nothing. And why shouldn’t she get it? She’d turned the game around last night. She’d led the team to victory—ran the offense on her own and racked up a record number of assists in the process.

  She’d kept them from losing. Which was all she could think as she hurried across the gym, ignoring the game of pickup basketball that a group of upperclassmen had going on the court.

  When she got to Coach Lee’s office door, she paused, pulling out her phone to check her hair and makeup in the front camera.

  No one deserves this more than you.

  They didn’t.

  You earned this. You’re the best.

  And she was.

  A satisfied smile curved her lips inward as she reached out and knocked, rushing to open the door and peeking her head in before she got a response.

  “You wanted to see me?” Elena asked, looking across the office at Coach Lee.

  “Come on in, Elena,” the woman said. “Have a seat.”

  Elena slid forward and quickly took one of the two empty chairs there in front of the coach’s desk. She set her bag down and folded her hands in her lap, but she couldn’t stay still. Her knees bounced and her eyes darted all over. She caught sight of a cute little boy peeking around the edge of a picture frame, and was surprised to realize it was Calvin, proudly showing off his missing two front teeth. She sometimes forgot that he was Coach Lee’s son. But then, she hadn’t been Coach Lee back in their carpool days. Only Mrs. Lee.

  Elena’s eyes flickered away and landed on the giant case behind the desk. The huge sheet of glass glared in the office’s fluorescent light, revealing row upon row of shiny plaques and medals, trophies of all sizes—the biggest of which had to be almost as tall as Elena.

  “We got that for coming in second at states,” Coach Lee remarked, causing Elena to blink. She hadn’t realized she’d been staring so intently. “You should have seen the one the champions got.”

  Elena swallowed her laugh, unsure if Coach Lee was trying to make a joke or not.

  “Have you ever won it
all?” Elena scooted forward in her chair and sat up straighter.

  “Unfortunately not.” Coach Lee leaned back, her face tilted up as she seemed to remember. “Second was as close as we ever got.”

  She paused then, as if considering whether she should share more or not. Then she went on, speaking softer now, as if she were giving away some priceless secret.

  “That year was special. It was the best group of seniors I’ve ever had. They’d been playing together since they were freshmen and had developed an unbelievable chemistry. It was like they could read each other’s minds. They always knew where to be and who was getting set. They were seamless out there on the court.”

  Coach Lee set her elbows on the desk and met Elena’s gaze.

  “But they didn’t start out that way. They grew into that team. They grew into each other. It wasn’t easy, though. They needed a strong leader to pull them together.”

  Elena bit her bottom lip to try to keep her excitement in check. She could feel it coming now. The reason she’d been called here in the first place.

  “I was impressed with what I saw the other night,” Coach Lee went on. “How you played when our backs were against the wall. You didn’t give up. Which is something I look for in my players. Something I look for when I’m picking the team captain.”

  Elena couldn’t keep it in any longer. The words burst out of her.

  “Coach, I’m so honored and so ready—”

  But right then, a knock came at the door. Elena whipped around in her chair, annoyed at the interruption. Had those upperclassmen popped their basketball or something? Had one of them broken a leg?

  The door opened a crack and a familiar curly head poked inside.

  “You wanted to see me?”

  At the sight of Steph, all the blood drained from Elena’s face.

  “Come in and have a seat.” Coach Lee motioned for Steph to take the chair next to Elena. “I was just telling Elena how impressed I was with her play last night.”

  Steph nodded as she sat down.