The Deadliest Bite

by Jennifer Rardin

  Raoul said, “Jaz? What is it?”

  “This is the end,” I whispered. “I’m done fighting after Brude is vanquished. Do you understand?”

  He nodded gravely. “Yes. I do.”

  Cole came forward, tapping Raoul frantically on the shoulder. “Will she die, then? Like, there are no instant dropsies in the contract, are there?”

  “No. She’s earned her right to live in peace.”

  Vayl ran his hand down my arm and pulled me to my feet. “Then it is time. Come, Raoul. Before we change our minds. Let us gather our weapons and challenge the gates of hell.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  Sunday, June 17, 7:30 p.m.

  Suiting up for hell took less time than expected. Holy water on the right wrist. Gauntlet to protect against biting creatures on the left. Raoul’s specially crafted sword in its sheath on my back. Bolo in the right pocket. Grief in its shoulder holster despite the fact that I only carried it for reassurance. Bullets wouldn’t do harm in the netherworld.

  Vayl paid a visit to Miles to recover his cane and check on his progress. He’d found a good veterinarian twenty miles away and had already left to pick him up. There was no question in my mind that he would be coming back with him.

  Raoul returned from his room carrying his sword and a shield that covered most of his left arm. He also carried his dagger, which he offered to the girl, along with an introduction that Cole, David, and Cassandra listened to with rapt attention. “My name is Raoul,” he said, almost shyly. “You are somewhat famous among my kind. Do you still call yourself Lotus?”

  “Yup,” she answered, giving him as much of a going over as the weapon she took from his hand. “Why am I so famous?” she asked. “Are your people into stunt shows?”

  “You possess immense skills,” he said.

  She snorted. “You could say that.” She spun the dagger in her hand and threw it across the room. It stuck into the head of the portrait Sanji, the innkeeper, had so carefully hung on the wall. Then she licked her lips, winked at him, and leaned over so far Raoul couldn’t help but notice her boobs practically springing from her dark blue T-shirt. “I have all kinds of skills.”

  Raoul’s expression never changed. “You also hate yourself more than any other woman I have ever known.”

  She sat back so fast it was like he’d slapped her. I said, “Where we’re going, you’re gonna want that dagger.” I nodded to the weapon and then looked at her hard, letting her know she’d better get her ass out of the chair before it came to a confrontation.

  Lotus tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, revealing a row of silver earrings, including one that looked like a straight pin had been shoved through the ear’s top curve in two separate places. Ugh. Hey, I’ve got a belly ring. My best friend has more earrings than a fully stocked Claire’s. But that one just looked like she’d taken a bad fall into a nest of nail guns. Which was why it was an effort not to shudder with sympathy pains as I studied her eyes. They were such a vivid blue that I hoped they didn’t change the way Vayl’s did. It would be a shame to see that color fade. Her heart-shaped face escaped being described as cute only because of the way her jaw jutted when she talked, like she was warning you ahead of time you’d have to be tough to deal with her.

  Her eyes crawled to Raoul’s as she got up and rescued his dagger. On the way back to her chair Lotus said slowly, “This vampire says he’s connected with me. Him and the marshmallow over there.” She gestured carelessly toward Aaron, who’d backed into a corner and made us all forget he was there. Quite a trick, I suddenly realized. How many times had he done that when I wasn’t looking? I didn’t have time to ponder because she’d gone on. “What’s that about? I’ve never met them before.”

  “But you have,” Vayl said, unable to hold himself back any longer. “We are your family, from the time you were born to me as a baby boy named Hanzi in a beautiful wooded area where we had camped just outside of Bucharest.” He pointed to Aaron. “This man was your little brother then. We called him Badu.” Aaron nodded awkwardly. His expression said, Hello, sister who used to be my brother. You are one scary dudette. Do not approach without warning me at least five minutes in advance.

  Lotus laughed. “Well, I’ll be damned. Talk about the weirdest family reunion ever.” She looked up at Vayl. “You do realize I don’t believe a word of this shit, right? I mean, I’m a stunt driver. I spend most of my time traveling around the world doing motorcycle tricks. And when that gets boring, I find… other ways… to fill my time. Most of them illegal. Or, at least, immoral. It’s how I roll.”

  Vayl shook his head. “We were always so different, you and I. Never understanding one another, never able to come to a meeting of the minds. Now I believe I see why. And I wish it were not so.” He crouched before her, his expression full of the earnest desire of a daddy trying to figure out what his little girl really wants for Christmas. “I wish to know you better. Is that all right?”

  She sat back, her cheeks hollowing like she’d just discovered a lemon seed stuck in her molar. Then she said, “Nope. I’m outta here.” She lunged to her feet only to find Raoul’s blade at her throat.

  “No, you aren’t,” he said, his voice rimmed with the thunder that had often brought me to the edge of consciousness. “Your destiny has lost patience with you, and selfish pride is now a choice with consequences you must face. You will join us. Now.”

  Finally, something other than sarcastic prickishness crossed that lovely face. Was it bad that I enjoyed seeing real fear? I glanced at Vayl and was reassured that he felt the same. Sometimes that’s the sign—that inside the actor there’s still a real soul that can be saved. We had to hope it was true for Vayl’s firstborn.

  She whispered, “Join you? Where?”

  Raoul said, “The demons who tried to kill you today meant to land you in hell. We do too. It’s up to you to decide whether or not you stay there.”

  He nodded to me. I leaned over Jack and whispered in his ear. “Okay buddy, if you ever understood anything I said, now’s the time. I have to go. It’s only so I can come back for good. So rest easy. Miles is getting a doctor to make you better and I’m coming back as soon as I can.” I stroked his head just like he liked it. “Love you, poopmeister.” Then I turned and strode into the bathroom, not looking back because if I did, no way would I be able to take another step away from my family and toward the potential end of my life.

  I was leaning on the tub, waiting for the portal to appear, listening to Raoul, Vayl, and Lotus breathe behind me. I knew the rest of my crew was huddled in the doorway, with the exception of Miles—and Astral, of course. She had decided to sit between my feet. I couldn’t speak, not to any of them. The moment was too big, the potential for disaster too real. What do you say to people you will probably never see again? I had no words.

  Then Dave cleared his throat. “We were talking. Remember, before? About Kyphas and her prophets and how they knew you might be coming?”

  I nodded as Vayl said, “Yes. Cassandra thought there might be a way to set them onto a false trail.”

  “It’s too late,” I muttered.

  Cassandra sat on the tub beside me and leaned until she could look into my eyes. “Never,” she said so adamantly that I felt a little shock run through me. “I have lived forever, as far as I’m concerned. I’ve been married and widowed and seen my children die before they were born. I’ve been a slave and a priestess and everything in between. And I’ll tell you this, girl. It’s only too late when you’re dead. You”—she circled her finger at me like I was three and she was trying to make me giggle—“are still kicking.”

  I stood up, the flames from the portal coming to life like a frame around my body. Hell’s citizens suddenly appeared in my peripheral vision as they walked their endless hike of pain, and I wondered if the gate stood that close to my original landing zone, or if the portal had only opened that pathway because it was so strong in my memory from the last time I was there. With no answers
to that question readily available, I asked one that could be answered: “Cassandra, what the hell does that mean?”

  She pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket and unwrapped it enough to show me that inside sat my engagement ring. Her smile, so delighted, made my lips twitch. “We did it!” she said.

  “It’s ready!” Dave echoed her, like he’d been the one toiling over it for the past hour. “My wife is a genius! You should all bow down to her!”

  “Or not,” Cassandra said, though her smile hinted that she kind of missed those days. “I’ve imbued Jaz’s ring with a spell that makes all the emotions it’s absorbed over time more vivid. The prophets who are looking for her will find it first.” She held it up to me. “All you need to do is get somebody in hell to put it on and wander around with it while you run the other way.”

  “Or, more practically, force them,” said Dave. “I was thinking if we shove it down their throat, we probably have a good twelve hours before the prophets clear their heads.”

  “Too risky,” said Cole, leaning against the door frame and shining his clicky vamp teeth against his shirtsleeve like they were covered in jelly stains as he spoke. “Half of you could be dead before you get within ten miles of the gate.” He cocked his head to one side and grinned as he set the teeth on the floor, aiming them toward Aaron, who stood just behind him and jumped satisfactorily as they came trundling toward his feet. Cole said, “I have a better idea.” Before we could stop him he lunged forward, grabbed the ring from Cassandra’s hand, slipped it on his pinky, and waved happily at us as he leaped through the portal, calling, “See you on the flip side!”

  “Shit!” I reached for him, but Vayl grabbed me before I could step through. “Cole! You son of a bitch! Don’t you dare—!” But he had. And the portal had suddenly gone black.

  “Open it up, Raoul,” I said grimly.

  He spoke the words that cleared the door. Cole was not on the other side. In fact, the section of hell had changed completely. Now we were viewing the oceanic part that Kyphas had landed in during our fight in Marrakech. “This isn’t helping,” I said, trying to keep my voice level, sticking my hands in my pockets before they punched something.

  Raoul inspected the portal’s frame, watching how the flames jumped and what colors they turned when. He said, “Hell does not want us to know where Cole dropped. But I can contact the Eminent. We have scouts everywhere.”

  I looked over my shoulder at Vayl. He said, “Cole made a choice. For you. Do not let it be in vain.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to feel as if everyone I cared about was falling away from me. That next I would have to watch Raoul bleed his last drop into hell’s river, or see Vayl’s spirit waft away into its fiery skies. I said, “Okay. Raoul, quickly contact your guys. And then, for God’s sake, let’s get this over with.”

  I felt Raoul’s hand, hard on my shoulder. “Consider it done. And remember, it’s a massive domain. Plenty of room for our scouts, and Cole, to sneak around in. We’ve got a good chance of finding him before any hellspawn do.”

  Vayl turned to David. “You will guard our return? We may come fast and accompanied by the worst hell has to offer.”

  Dave nodded. “I’ll make sure nothing blocks this door for you.”

  They gripped hands as Raoul began to chant and the scenery, once again, began to change. I realized the next time it landed I would be facing what could be my final destination. I looked at Lotus. She was purely fascinated by this whole exchange. Soon she’d feel differently.

  “We are ready then,” said Vayl.

  “What about me?” asked Aaron.

  “You…” Vayl sighed. “Make sure you do not die again before I have a chance to know you better.”

  Vayl stared at the three people he was asking to stay behind. “Please also attempt to contact Cole via the Party Line and any other contraption Bergman has left lying around his room, remembering that he adores combustible traps. We will do the same from our location. Try to find out where he has gone. Astral may be of help in that area.”

  The cat, hearing her name for the first time in a while, perked up her ears and said, “Hello. Hell-o Hell’s o-ver your shoulder.” She turned and looked at me, without blinking, and added in her purring kitty voice, “Don’t look over your shoulder, Jazzy, no matter what you do.”

  The chill that had clamped to my spine now tried to climb right up into my brain and explode out the top of my head. It left me with chattering teeth and the feeling that icicles were growing inside my eyeballs.

  “We have to go,” I whispered.

  The cat responded by lifting one forepaw and delicately licking it. I took that as permission, picked up the robokitty, and boogied my ass straight into hell.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  Sunday, June 17, 8:00 p.m.

  Here’s what happens when you walk into hell without your sword drawn, with your robokitty in ass-grenade mode, and without letting your Spirit Guide go first.

  You get sucker punched by a pint-sized demon with skull spikes that resemble rotten bananas.

  I dropped the cat and doubled over. Pain shot up my chest and down my legs as I stared straight into the hellspawn’s bloodshot eyes. Then I grinned. “You little shit,” I said. “How could you tell I was spoiling for a fight?”

  I planted my fist into his face so hard that he flipped head over heels and landed on his butt in a puddle of steaming glop that smelled like burned cow manure. When he tried to scurry off I caught him by the high collar of his green sequined jumpsuit and said, “Oh no you don’t. You’re coming with me.”

  I turned around to find the rest of my party had arrived and was observing the fight from a narrow path beside the field I’d fallen in. Clear of weeds, or any greenery for that matter, its stark sunblanched furrows were planted in body parts. Arms, legs, and torsos stuck out of the nuked soil like crops grown by Jeffrey Dahmer in his FFA phase. I pushed the demon toward them. Vayl caught him, holding him at arm’s length like a piece of dirty laundry, and paying about as much attention to him, because Lotus had already begun to bug out on us.

  “What the fuck?” she demanded. “No!” she said, slapping away Vayl’s arm when he tried to keep her from prancing around in circles like she badly needed to pee and nobody would tell her where the bathroom was located. “Seriously! Who are you people? I mean, I’m up for adventure and all? I figured you for mega-millionares who recognized a fellow thrill-seeker when you saw one. But this?”

  She was screeching now, jumping in place and shaking her fists at the mutilated bodies that would never have moved in her world, but in this one would not keep still.

  Raoul strode up to her and grabbed her by the arms. “You are a brilliant young woman. Wrap your mind around this right now, Lotus. You nearly died today. You probably will anyway, but at least now the choice is yours. This”—he gestured at the ghastly landscape—“is where you were going to end up. Satan’s field was your final destination because of how you chose to live life above.”

  She was looking around, her eyes wide and terrified. But seeing now, understanding as Raoul spoke. The greenish tinge to her face made me think he maybe shouldn’t be standing right in front of her, though.

  He went on. “Vayl and Jasmine made a deal for your life. And this is it. You must walk through hell with us. The choices you make here will determine your future.” His arm swept in a full circle, making her see every horror around her. “You can still save yourself. As Cassandra said before, it’s never too late.” He leaned forward and whispered in her ear. I only heard because I had the Party Line tapped into mine. Unfortunately, so did Vayl. His eyes dropped to the ground as he heard my Spirit Guide tell his daughter, “Personally, I think you’re too high on adrenaline and too afraid to see what’s under the stunt costume to bother. Take my word for it. You’ll be planted in this field before Jasmine takes her first hit at the gate.”

  Leaving Lotus to stew on that piece of news, he strode forward and swept Astr
al into one arm. “Are we moving yet?” he asked.

  “Not in a straight line,” said Vayl. He motioned to the hellspawn, who was putting up a little fight, trying to kick Vayl in the shins when he wasn’t digging in his heels. He also made an attempt to head-butt Vayl, which would’ve been painful had one of those spikes impaled him, because they looked to be leaking some sort of greenish acid.

  Vayl lifted his adversary completely off the ground. “I am sure Jasmine thought you might be helpful to us. Certainly newcomers to hell’s shores need all the friends they can get. However, I find you quite rude.”

  The demon shoved his head toward Vayl’s thigh like some sort of miniature bull. But the Vampere are particular about etiquette, and they react violently to being gored. Which was partially why Vayl jerked the demon’s head backward and buried his fangs in its neck. He drank deeply, spat on the ground, leaving a tiny, smoking crater as he murmured, “Agh, it is like drinking vinegar.” But I understood his motives when his reddish black eyes bored into mine and he confessed, “I have missed the powers I lost, my Jasmine. Would you begrudge me this chance to regain something of what was taken from me?”

  I stared at him for a moment, making myself truly see him. His fangs and lips crimson with blood. His eyes bright and hungry, hands gripping his prey so tightly that the demon showed no more signs of resistance than the occasional twitch. This was the same creature who had chased me merrily through his house a few days before, shucking clothes and trading kisses until neither one of us could quite see straight. And I realized I loved them both equally.