Bonkers ... a caveman humor short story

by Norm Cowie

  Chapter 2

  After he was gone, Hedz sighed and turned to the boys, “Frigg?”

  Frigg's eyes were back on the rock.

  “Bush?”

  Bush ignored her, too.

  “FRIGG AND BUSH."

  This got their attention. “Yeah, Mom,” they chimed.

  “Would you please go get some gator eggs? I saw a nest out near the big tree in the marsh.”

  “I thought Dad was going hunting,” Frigg moaned.

  “Do you want to rely on that?” Hedz asked.

  They thought about it. They all knew Bonk was an inept hunter. Tall for a caveman, a fast runner but not all that good about putting food on the rock.

  “Um. I am kind of hungry,” Frigg said.

  “Maybe we could just eat the scorpion,” Bush suggested, giving the scorpion a hopeful look. The centipede was guarding the corpse with a threatening air.

  Then Frigg remembered his brother had a turtle shell full of grubs. “I vote we wait."

  Hedz sighed. “No, Bonk’s just going to use this as an excuse to go to the Portsbar and hang with his buddies scratching themselves and drinking fermented grapes.”

  Frigg wiggled his eyebrows, “Or maybe he’ll go to Uters where they got hot babes.”

  A dark look crossed Hedz’s face, “What do you know about that place?”

  Frigg colored, “Oh, uh … it’s right next to the baseball field.”

  “There’s no such thing as baseball,” Hedz growled.

  “Exactly! Which is probably why I couldn’t find the field,” Frigg exclaimed. “But while I was looking, I saw guys going in there.”

  Hedz paused, thinking through that logic. Finally, she just shook her head. “He’d better not go there. Now you two go out and get some eggs. And see if you can round up some lizards and some beetles or something.”

  They hesitated, perhaps considering some kid-rebellion, but the fierce look on her face squelched those thoughts.

  “Let’s go,” Frigg said to his brother.

  Bush paused, a bit in pain, mostly because he was sitting on his private parts, which, since he was nude, weren’t particularly private. He shifted, sighed, and took a last longing look at the dead scorpion’s death throes. Then he let Frigg pull him to his feet.

  Then they tumbled out the door.

  A moment later, Bush popped his head back in. “Hey, can we borrow Eff?”

  “Why?” Hedz asked.

  “We need bait.”

  Hedz crossed her arms, nearly clobbering Eff. “Not with my baby.”

  Bush rolled his eyes, “She’ll be okay. We’re her brothers.” He just stopped short of adding ‘duh’ which probably would have ruined his whole day.

  She hesitated, thinking about it.

  Bush stopped rolling his eyes, and switched them to pleading mode.

  “Oh, okay.” Eff was done feeding anyway, so Hedz gently pulled her from her breast, and handed the baby over to her brother.

  “Thanks.”

  She shook a finger in his face, “Be careful!”

  “Yeah, Mom.” Another silent ‘duh.’

  He grabbed the baby. Then Eff and Bush took off for the river.

  I hope you enjoyed this preview. Read on for more information.