Facing Fear

by Harley Turner

  “Sounds good to me,” he said as he crawled into the passenger seat of the Jeep and reached for his seatbelt. “How far is it?”

  “About an hour. Depending on traffic. It seems like just about everything is about an hour from Deadwood.”

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  “You just did,” she pointed out as she started the Jeep. She hoped he wouldn’t ask anything too personal. For some reason, Troy was so easy to talk to, but she couldn’t let her guard down. Just friends, she kept telling herself.

  “Why did you choose Rushmore?”

  Maya froze. She had chosen the monuments simply because she knew they would be busy. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to be alone with Troy. She wasn’t sure if she trusted herself alone with him, but she couldn’t tell him that.

  She jumped when she felt his hand on hers. “Maya? What’s wrong?” his voice broke through her thoughts and he sounded genuinely concerned.

  She blinked a couple of times as she stared in his direction. “You can’t visit South Dakota and not go to Mt. Rushmore,” she said shakily. “We are going there because you really need to, but in all honesty it’s kind of boring. Crazy Horse is much more entertaining. I don’t really know what you are into, so I went the typical tourist route.”

  Troy stared at her. Something was wrong. He thought he had done a good job of breaking through her walls the previous day, but she had obviously put them back up.

  “Are we going to see both?” She only nodded. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  Maya looked down at his hand that was still on hers. “I’m fine,” she insisted as she pulled her hand away.

  “Do I make you uncomfortable?” he asked quietly.

  Maya couldn’t help but direct her gaze back to his. As soon as she met his deep blue eyes, she felt her cheeks burn. Her blush made Troy’s heart melt. She quickly looked away and focused on the road as she began to drive. “Where did you say you were from?” she asked, refusing to answer his question.

  “Wisconsin,” he said so quietly that she barely heard him. “A crazy small town where everyone knows everyone and a simple mistake will haunt you for the rest of your life.”

  She couldn’t help but smile. “I know the feeling.”

  “At least you get busy during the summer. At home, it’s always the same people. There is no escape.”

  Maya nodded. “I can see why you would hate it. Most of the people I go to school with spend their summers traveling. Cody and I are pretty much the black sheep of school because of it.” She bit her lip. She didn’t want to talk about Cody. She didn’t want to even think about Cody.

  “The MC pretty much does a good job of making me the black sheep of town.”

  Maya continued to chew on her lip as she contemplated how to word her next question. She wasn’t sure if she even wanted to know the answer, but she had to ask.

  “So, being part of the MC,” she started. “Have you ever killed anyone?” she asked quietly.

  Troy laughed. Maya’s face burned red as the sound of his laughter filled the Jeep. “Being part of an MC isn’t like an episode of Sons of Anarchy,” he managed to get out. “I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but it’s definitely not like Hollywood shows it. Besides, I’m not part of the MC. Never have been. Not officially anyway.”

  “You’re not?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t want that life. Sure, I was raised around the club, but never officially part of it.”

  “But the guys you were with. Your bike.”

  “Jake and the guys are part of the club. I only came out here with them to escape my hometown. Not everyone that rides is part of a club,” he pointed out.

  “Why aren’t you? Didn’t you say your dad started it?”

  Troy just shrugged. “It’s just not for me. Besides, I have no intentions of going back home.”

  Unsure of what to say, they remained quiet for a while. No one seemed to know what to say.

  Traffic wasn’t as bad as Maya had expected it to be. They made it to Keystone in just under an hour. Maya pulled into a parking space facing the monument. When they exited the vehicle, Troy walked around to the back of the Jeep.

  The view over the cliff was breathtaking. Once again, Troy hated that he didn’t have his camera. He pulled out his cell phone and snapped a few pictures, but even his top of the line phone couldn’t capture the beauty. He needed to replace his Canon as soon as possible.

  “No views like this in Wisconsin?” she joked.

  Troy shook his head with a smile. “Definitely not. Flat land. Farms. Cows.”

  She laughed. “We have our share of farms and cows here too. And buffalo. Snakes. Prairie dogs,” she listed as she watched Troy continue to stare off in the distance. She turned to take in the scenery as well. She didn’t notice when his gaze turned to her.

  “You have a beautiful laugh Maya,” he said as he put his hand up to her cheek. “A beautiful smile. Everything about you is beautiful.”

  Her cheeks burned as she turned away. “Troy,” she started quietly.

  “I know, I know,” he said as he dropped his hand. “Just friends. I’m sorry.”

  They could feel the sudden tension forming between them. “There is a museum inside,” she stammered, attempting to make some sort of safe conversation. “Shows the mountain being carved. Stuff like that.”

  Troy stuffed his hands in his pockets and started to shuffle toward the entrance. As they approached to gates, he seemed to shrug off Maya’s rejection and they once again fell into an easy conversation.

  He really was trying to just be friends with her, but how long would it be before he couldn’t handle it? Was he imagining things, or was she giving him mixed signals?

  It took them less than an hour to do pretty much everything there was to do at Rushmore. “Where are we headed next?” Troy asked as they returned to the Jeep.

  “Lunch,” she suggested. “I figured we could walk around downtown Keystone before we hit Crazy Horse.”

  “Sounds great,” he replied. “I’m starving.”

  It was a quick drive to downtown and before long they were seated outside a small café. Troy was truly amazed at all the sights. Maya couldn’t imagine what it was like for him. She had lived in the area her entire life, but he was seeing everything for the first time. It made her feel as though she had been taking the beauty of her surroundings for granted.

  “We should do that,” he said suddenly, pointing up at a billboard.

  Maya turned toward where he pointed. “Zip lining? Seriously?”

  Troy nodded. “Have you ever done it?”

  Maya shook her head. Despite the fact that she lived in the mountains, she was terrified of heights. It was just one of her many fears. The thought of plummeting to her death just didn’t sound appealing to her.

  “Let’s go. It will be fun,” he went on.

  “What about Crazy Horse?” she asked. “We won’t have time to do both. I promised my brother I would be home when he gets there.”

  “Could we do it another day?” He watched Maya chew on her lip as he wondered what was going on in her head.

  Did she want to spend another day with him? She definitely wanted to, but was it a good idea?

  “Would you at least watch if I did it?” he asked, attempting another approach.

  “You would really do something like that alone?” she questioned.

  Troy shrugged. “Honestly, I’m used to doing things on my own. It would be awesome if you would join me, but I won’t force you. Besides, I might not get another chance to do something like that.”

  Why did he have to be so sweet? Finally, she nodded, not exactly sure what she had just agreed to.

  After they finished their lunch, which Troy insisted on paying for, they walked over to Rushmore Tramway Adventures to inquire about the zip line tour.

  They stood around and watched other people for a while before Troy went to book his tour. Before he handed his credit card to the cashi
er, he turned back to Maya.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to join me?”

  The way he pleaded with his brilliant blue eyes melted Maya’s heart. She couldn’t tell him no.

  “I’ll do it.”

  The words were out of her mouth before she realized she had even made up her mind. What was she getting herself into?

  One thing was for certain; there was no turning back.

  ~6~

  “T hat was absolutely incredible!” Troy exclaimed after he had been unhooked from his harness. It had easily been two of the most exciting hours of his life, and he was able to share it with Maya.

  “It really was,” she admitted. Her voice was hoarse and shaky, but she had a smile on her face. “I’ve never experienced anything like it before.”

  Troy smiled back at her. “The speed. Flying through the air. It’s kind of like the feeling I get on my bike,” he told her. “Maybe I can get you on that one of these days.”

  “I can promise you, that will never happen,” Maya insisted. She sounded like she meant it, but Troy loved a challenge.

  Not wanting to ruin the moment by pushing too hard, Troy stepped back from Maya and checked his watch. “We still have a few hours before you have to get home to your brother,” he pointed out. “Where are we headed next?”

  “I know just the place,” Maya said as she grabbed Troy by the hand and pulled him toward the parking lot.

  Something had happened to Maya on the zip line. They had both noticed it. She couldn’t explain it and he wasn’t complaining, but she was no longer afraid to be alone with him. It seemed that confronting her fear of heights also diminished her fear of him.

  The hour drive to Deadwood was filled with light and easy conversation. Mostly they talked about the zip line. Troy was enjoying the open and carefree Maya, but he was afraid that if the conversation turned serious, she would revert to the scared little girl again.

  “Are you planning on telling me where we’re going?” Troy asked as she drove passed her hometown and kept driving.

  “You’ll see,” was all she would tell him.

  Maya had no idea why the destination had popped in her mind. It was a place she hadn’t visited in a long time and had never taken anyone-not even Cody. Somehow, she knew Troy would appreciate the beauty.

  He had no idea where she was taking him as she drove carefully through the curvy mountain roads. He tried to watch the scenery out his window, but his eyes kept drifting to Maya.

  The scenery really was beautiful, but it just couldn’t keep his attention away from her. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her.

  He had to admit that she was definitely nothing like the girls he usually went for. She didn’t spend hours in front of a mirror hoping to impress someone, yet she was easily the most beautiful woman he had ever met. Her beauty seemed too effortless. Until that day, he had never realized how gorgeous a simple ponytail could be. She didn’t plaster her face with several layers of makeup. Her eyes were the most vivid shade of emerald green that he had ever seen.

  After what seemed like forever, Maya pulled to the side of the road and parked the Jeep. “Where are we?” he asked but instead of answering, she just shook her head and got out of the car. When he followed, she grabbed his hand and pulled him down a small path.

  Troy tried to take in his surroundings. He could hear water, but couldn’t see it. He had no idea where Maya was taking him, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he was with Maya.

  Finally, she stopped walking and turned to face him. As she chewed on her bottom lip, he could tell she was reverting to the scared girl she had been a few hours ago.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “You might think it’s stupid, but this is one of my favorite places around here,” she said as she continued to pull him down the trail, slightly slower than before.

  Troy looked around. There was a small stream at their feet, maybe six feet across to the other side. The water was so clear and shallow that he could see to the bottom. It was fed by a small waterfall. Troy dropped her hand and took a step closer. He smiled to himself as he watched fish swim through the stream.

  “Maya, it’s beautiful,” he breathed quietly, almost afraid to disturb the serenity with conversation.

  “My family used to picnic here,” Maya explained. “Before mom left. Before the accident. Back when we were actually a family.” He could hear the sadness in her voice.

  “Do you ever bring your brother here?”

  Maya shook her head. “I don’t think he even remembers this place,” she said sadly. “I’ve never brought anyone here,” she quietly admitted as she sank to the ground, pulled her knees to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them.

  Troy moved closer to her and put his arm around her shoulders. She didn’t pull away. Instead, she turned toward him and rested her head against his chest, allowing him to wrap his arms around her.

  They sat in silence for a long time. Maya didn’t speak and Troy didn’t know what to say. He was afraid that it he said the wrong thing, she would push him away again. Eventually, Maya’s breathing steadied and her eyes closed.

  She didn’t deserve the life she had been given. No seventeen year old should be responsible for taking care of her entire family, but rather than being split up, Maya had stepped up to do what had to be done to keep her family together.

  Troy had no way of knowing what she had been thinking when she took him there, but he was glad she did. Surrounded by natural beauty in the seclusion he was able to see the real Maya. Even if it was only for a little while, she had taken down her walls and he was able to see beyond the façade. She had appeared to have everything under control, but she was hurting. She was scared.

  He couldn’t help but admire her strength. Why couldn’t his own brother have been more like her? Instead, Jake had showed him every day that taking care of him was nothing but an inconvenience.

  Troy let Maya sleep for about a half an hour before he gently nudged her. He could have easily spent the entire night by the waterfall with Maya wrapped in his arms, but he knew how important being home on time was for her.

  “Maya,” he whispered in her ear. His lips were mere inches from her face.

  She started to stir but didn’t open her eyes. He reached up and brushed a few stray strands of hair from her face. Her eyes fluttered open. She jumped away as soon as she realized where she was.

  “Did I fall asleep?”

  “Not for long,” he assured her. “You still have plenty of time to get home before your brother.”

  Maya calmed down slightly after she checked her watch. She stood up and turned toward the waterfall. “I didn’t bring you here to watch me sleep,” she said quietly.

  Troy made his way to his feet and walked over to her. His muscles were sore from sitting on the hard ground for so long and his arm had fallen asleep underneath her. “Why did you bring me here?”

  Maya didn’t answer right away. When she finally turned toward him, she was crying. He started to step closer to her, but she held her hand up for signal him to stop. He felt so helpless as he stood staring at her.

  “I’m sorry,” she said as she wiped her tears. It smeared her makeup, but in Troy’s eyes it didn’t make her look any less gorgeous. “I didn’t mean to cry.”

  “You don’t have to apologize for that,” he told her. “I’m sorry for making you cry. What did I do?” He had thought everything was going good.

  Maya shook her head. “You didn’t do anything,” she insisted. “I had a great time today. One of the best days I’ve had in a long time. Because of you.”

  “Then why are you crying?”

  “I’m tired of being afraid of everything,” she admitted. “I almost missed out on zip lining today because I was scared, and that turned out to be amazing.”

  “It’s okay to be afraid of things,” he pointed out, not sure exactly where she was going with the conversation.

  “I
don’t want to be afraid of everything anymore,” she said. “Heights are just one of the things that terrify me.”

  “What else is there?” Troy asked. “We can conquer those fears together.”

  “There’s so many of them.”

  “Tell me,” he urged her, slowly moving closer.

  “I’m almost eighteen years old and I have no idea what I am going to do with my life.”

  “I’m nineteen and I’m not sure yet,” he pointed out. “Not everyone knows what to do with their lives as soon as they graduate.”

  “I had always planned on going away to school, but now that’s not going to happen,” she said sadly. “I’m sure I would have eventually come back, but at least college was a chance to get away for a while.”

  Troy took a step closer to her and reached out. This time she didn’t wave him off. She left him take hold of her hands. “Maya, by not going away to school, you are doing an amazing thing for your family.”

  “What if my brother hates me the way you hate yours?” Her words were barely a whisper.

  Troy pulled her into his arms and held her. “That won’t happen,” he assured her. “You are nothing like my brother. He hated that he had to take care of me but the club wouldn’t let him refuse. He resented me because I was the one that our father wanted to lead the club, but I was too young at the time,” Troy explained. “Unlike Jake, it’s obvious that you actually care about your brother. I was nothing more than an inconvenience to mine, and he let me know that every chance he got.”

  Remaining silent, she let Troy hold her for a few minutes, but she pulled away too soon. Her eyes still glistened when she looked up at him, but the tears were no long freely falling.

  “Did you mean it when you said we could conquer my fears together?”

  Troy nodded. “Maya, there isn’t much that I wouldn’t do for you,” he confessed. He had expected that hearing those words escape his lips would be terrifying. He knew he meant it. The only thing he wouldn’t do for her was leave; he couldn’t.

  “What if you’re one of them?” she said quietly.

  Troy stared down at her in disbelief. “Me? Why are you afraid of me?”