Facing Fear

by Harley Turner

  “Don’t shut me out Maya,” Troy pleaded. “Something is bothering you.”

  “It’s stupid,” she whispered.

  “I doubt that.”

  Maya turned toward him and took a deep breath. “You are a really great guy,” she started. “We have fun together. My brother likes you. I really like being with you.”

  Troy’s heart pounded. Was she breaking up with him? “Okay…” he let his voice trail off, hoping she would continue, although he wasn’t sure if he wanted her to continue.

  “It’s Cody,” she said quietly. “Today was the first time I’ve seen him since our fight. I know I can’t expect everything to go back to how it was. I just miss my best friend.”

  Troy pulled Maya into his arms and kissed the top of her head. He knew the feeling all too well. His breakup with Trinity had been hard enough, but losing his best friend and his girlfriend at the same time had almost killed him.

  “I’m always here if you need someone,” he reminded her. “I know it’s not the same, but you’re not alone.”

  “I know, but sometimes I might want to talk about you.”

  “Even if it’s about me, I’ll always listen,” he assured her.

  She lifted her head to look up at him. “Even if it’s embarrassing?”

  Troy smiled and it melted her heart. “Especially if it’s embarrassing. I love it when I make you blush.”

  As if on cue, Maya’s face turned red, but for the first time she didn’t turn away or even attempt to hid it. Instead she bit her bottom lip. Troy could barely contain himself. He struggled to remember they were in her backyard and although they seemed to be alone, her father and brother weren’t far away.

  “Even if I say I think I’m falling in love with you?” she finally whispered.

  He lost what little control he had when he heard the words. Not even a second after the words escaped her mouth he put his hand behind her hand and pulled her face to his. “I’m pretty sure I fell in love with you the night we met,” he admitted before crushing his lips to hers.

  Everything moved so quickly to Maya. One minute she was sitting next to Troy, wrapped in his arms. Before she knew it, she was sitting on his lap, facing him and engulfed in the most passionate kiss she had ever even witnessed.

  They were moving too fast. She was getting dizzy. Her heart pounded. She had to pull away to catch her breath.

  “I’m sorry,” Troy said as he struggled to breathe normally. He nudged Maya off his lap. He had to move. He needed some space between them to be able to fight his urges.

  Everything about Maya was different than he was used to. He had expected to want to run away when he heard her confess her feelings, but leaving was the last thing on his mind.

  With the exception of Trinity, he hadn’t had a relationship outside of the bedroom. Since he had his heart ripped apart, he refused to get close to anyone. Sure, in the last year there was a constant flow of girls into his bed, but it was rarely the same girl twice.

  Had he just confessed that he loved her? Was that really how he felt?

  “Troy?”

  Maya’s words broke through his thoughts. He hadn’t realized he was pacing around her backyard like an idiot. He was still breathless. His heart was pounding. His body had never wanted someone more than he wanted Maya in that moment. He had to keep his distance. He couldn’t lose control with her. He had to take things slow so he didn’t scare her away.

  Maya wasn’t making it easy to keep his distance. Her lips were red and swollen from their kiss. Her hair was messed up. She continued to chew on her bottom lip as she stared at him.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked. She appeared to be on the verge of tears. “What did I do wrong?”

  The innocent question pulled at his heart. Hoping he could keep himself under control, he walked back to the picnic table. He held her face in his hands and looked her in the eye when he replied.

  “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he insisted. “I just needed a minute. It’s been a long time since I’ve said those words,” he explained. “Even longer since I meant them.” He hadn’t meant to say the last part, but he couldn’t take the words back. “I’m sorry,” he went on. “I tend to say really stupid things sometimes. Especially when I’m scared, and I’ll admit that this terrifies me.”

  Maya took Troy’s hand and intertwined her fingers with his while keeping her gaze on his. “That’s how this started though,” she pointed out. “Conquering our fears. Together.”

  ~11~

  “W hat time did you finally make it home?” Tom asked Troy. It was Friday morning and Troy was exhausted.

  After he had finally left Maya’s house, he had been too wired to sleep. He crept into the apartment as quietly as he could and set to work on setting up his new TV. He had finally closed his eyes sometime around dawn.

  “About four,” Troy yawned. “I didn’t wake you, did I?” He immediately felt bad. Tom was in the restaurant every day from open until close. He didn’t need to be woken up in the middle of the night by some punk kid.

  Tom shook his head. “No, I sleep like the dead,” he laughed as he flipped the pancakes he was making.

  Troy sat at the table with his coffee cup in his hand. He wasn’t used to having breakfast made for him every morning, but Tom insisted.

  “Were you with Maya the whole time?”

  Troy nodded. “We went shopping for Gavin’s camping trip. Then I went over to teach him how to set up the tent and we just hung out in the backyard all night.”

  “It’s nice to see her happy again,” Tom said as he slid a plate of pancakes across the table to Troy.

  “How long has she worked for you?”

  “A few years. She started off only working a couple of shifts a month, but when her mom left, she needed the money to help support her family, so she started full time.”

  “Did you know her mom?”

  Tom nodded. “Madelynn is how I met Maya. She was my restaurant manager.”

  “You mean there was a time you didn’t live at that place?”

  Tom laughed. “Believe it or not, there was. She was the best manager I could have ever hoped for. I was lost when I went to open one day and she wasn’t there.”

  “She didn’t even tell you she was leaving?”

  “It was completely out of the blue,” Tom explained. “All I had was a note left on the bar. No one understood why she left,” he went on. “She seemed happy. She enjoyed her job. She loved her family. No one saw it coming.”

  Troy couldn’t understand it either. How could someone just leave her family? Especially a family as great as Maya’s?

  “Has anyone talked to her since she left?”

  Tom shook his head. “I tried to call, and I’m sure others did as well, but she disconnected her cell phone as soon as she left. She didn’t say where she was going. All that she said was that she couldn’t live here any longer. Then, to make things even harder on Maya, John had his accident shortly after Maddie left. At one point, Maya thought she was going to lose both her parents.”

  Troy didn’t know what to say. He understood how it felt to lose parents, but at least he had the club. It was like a family to him for a long time, but it wasn’t the same. Losing them set him off. He got in more trouble in the month after their passing than he had in his entire life. It was his way of coping with the loss.

  Maya didn’t act out. Instead, she stepped up and took care of what was left of her family. She remained strong for her brother.

  “Most of the town offered to take in Maya and Gavin, but she insisted that they needed to stay with John. Cyndi Jorgenson runs a day care out of her home, and she doesn’t charge Maya to take Gavin, but Maya avoids taking handouts as much as she can. Cyndi also helped set up the nursing care for John so he could get out of the hospital.”

  “That was nice of her,” Troy said even though the name meant nothing to him. He had no clue who Tom was talking about.

  “Cyndi had been close to Maya for y
ears,” Tom went on. “I’m pretty sure the entire town was expecting Maya to end up with Cyndi’s son, but I don’t think Maya ever even thought of Cody that way. He was more like a brother to her. They were completely inseparable until recently.”

  “Until Cody threw a fit after seeing Maya with me,” Troy finished. He knew how that story ended. “He basically told her they couldn’t be friends if she was going to even be friends with other guys. The guy is a douche.”

  Tom chuckled. “So that’s why he hasn’t been around. Did he finally tell her how he felt?”

  Troy shrugged. “He didn’t actually tell her, but she knows. Somehow she was completely clueless. Everyone else knew how he felt, but she was blind to it.”

  “Just be careful with her,” Tom insisted. “I would prefer you to not keep her out all night when you both work the next day, but I can’t exactly tell you not to. Just no falling asleep at work,” he warned. “Also, Chloe will be back today.”

  Troy’s mood plummeted. He had forgotten about Chloe. He hadn’t told Maya about their confrontation. How would she react to hearing it from Chloe?

  Tom could sense Troy’s fear. He stood up to clear the plates and put his hand on the young man’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. Chloe will come around.”

  Troy couldn’t tell Tom that he was more worried about Chloe telling Maya everything then he was of facing Chloe so he just nodded.

  ~***~

  “Is everyone okay with Mason?” Maya asked Chloe. Chloe had been missing a lot of work, and usually she only missed because of her son.

  “Mason is fine,” Chloe insisted as she glared over at the bar. Maya followed her eyes and saw Troy.

  “He’s not so bad once you get to know him,” she insisted.

  Chloe shook her head, causing her dark curls to bounce around. “I don’t want to get to know him. I just want him gone. I tried to talk to Tom, but he refuses to fire him since he hasn’t actually done anything wrong. Now I just have to wait. I’m sure he will get sick of this place and move on just like his brother.”

  Maya fought to ignore the comment. She knew Chloe was upset, but it wasn’t fair to Troy that he was compared to the monster. “He’s nothing like his brother,” she said firmly.

  “I know how difficult it is to use your head when you have someone that gorgeous around, but Jackson told me all about his baby brother,” Chloe continued. “The kid was nothing but trouble. Always fighting and getting kicked out of school. Drinking. Drugs.”

  Maya shook her head. She knew Tory had been suspended from school a few times, but he had never told her anything about a drug habit. “Jake didn’t even tell you his real name,” she reminded Chloe. “How can you believe anything else he said?” Without waiting for a reply, she tossed her rag down on the table and walked toward the bar.

  “She hates me, doesn’t she?” Troy asked when Maya approached. She only nodded. “I’m not surprised,” he continued. “She had already formed her opinion of me as soon as she knew who I was. I can’t help it that that opinion was based on Jake’s lies.”

  Maya didn’t want to talk about Chloe. “Are we still on for tomorrow?” she changed the subject.

  “Boating? Definitely! I have a pontoon reserved for the entire day. We can pick it up any time after nine,” he told her.

  Maya couldn’t wait. “Gavin is excited too. Thank you for including him.”

  “He seems like a good kid.”

  Maya smiled and nodded. “He is. He acts so mature for his age that sometimes even I forget that he’s only eight. He has been through more than he should at such a young age.”

  “So have you,” Troy pointed out. Her smile faded at the reminder. “So you’re camping with Gavin tonight right?”

  “Do you want to join us?”

  Tory lost his train of thought. He hadn’t been expecting the invitation. In fact, he had assumed he would stay away and give Maya some family time. He had been taking so much of her free time as it was.

  “I mean, not camping with us,” she went on nervously when he didn’t answer. “Unless you have your own tent, then you can definitely stay. Or you can just hang out with us. I’m not sure what to do for the whole camping thing other than sleeping outside.” As she rambled, she could feel her cheeks burn. She was fidgeting with her hands and staring down at them while she talked.

  Troy’s heart thudded in his chest. She was so cute when she was nervous. She was beautiful all the time, but when she blushed or rambled or bit her bottom lip, Troy struggled to control himself.

  They had barely known each other a week and he already knew he couldn’t live without her. Any other time a girl was too shy or nervous, Troy just moved on to the next, but this time was different. This time he really was falling in love.

  The best part about it was that she loved him back. How could I ever truly deserve her? he thought. Finally, something in his life was starting to go right.

  “Unless you don’t want to.”

  Troy’s attention snapped back to Maya. He had been so lost in his inner thoughts that he hadn’t heard most of what she had said which made him immediately feel bad. How could he ignore her?

  “I offered to stay a bit later today because Tom has some errands to run, but I can swing by as soon as I leave here,” he offered. “What did you have planned for dinner tonight?”

  “Can you two love birds make plans some other time and get to work?”

  Maya turned toward the voice. Chloe was standing behind her with a drink order in hand. The look on the waitresses face told her she had been waiting a while.

  “Sorry, what do you need?” Troy held out his hand for the slip and got to work. Without saying a word, Maya slipped back into the dining room and began to clean tables.

  Chloe stared at Maya as she shook her head. “You’re going to end up hurting her,” she said quietly.

  “I’m not,” Troy insisted as he arranged the drinks on a tray. “She’s been hurt enough.”

  “Yes she has. And it will just get worse. Don’t be like your brother and wait until it’s too late.”

  Troy set the last drink on the tray a bit too hard, causing it to spill over the side. “I’m nothing like my brother. I have never once lied to Maya. I’m here to stay.”

  Chloe’s eyes shot daggers at Troy as she picked up the tray. She bit back her reply as she turned away.

  She secretly hoped he was telling the truth. She didn’t want to see Maya get hurt, but at the same time she was jealous. Why couldn’t Jackson have been as sincere with his promises?

  She wanted to take Troy up on his offer for financial support as well, but she was scared. What if she got used to the extra money and he left without a trace like his brother? What if he told Jackson?

  Chloe shook her head and got back to work. Troy was a bartender for crying out loud. How much support could he even provide? Whatever little extra money he had couldn’t be worth the risk of letting Jackson back into their lives.

  The rest of the work day went pretty quickly. Maya tried to settle the rift between Chloe and Troy, but it seemed to be impossible.

  “So I will see you later?” she asked Troy as she was heading for the door.

  Troy nodded. “As soon as I can get out of here,” he promised her. He couldn’t wait. He hated to be away from her, even if it was only for a short time.

  “You really care about her, don’t you?”

  Troy jumped. Chloe had snuck up on him while he was watching Maya leave. “I do,” he confessed. “I know you’re worried about her, but I’m not going to hurt her.”

  He kept his eyes on hers and watched her dark brown eyes soften. Maybe she didn’t hate him after all.

  A laugh from the door froze Troy’s blood. It was a sound he thought he would never hear again. At least he hoped he wouldn’t.

  “Behind the bar? Good place for you, little brother,” Jake said as he made his way to the bar. “Give me a beer,” he insisted.

  “Call Tom,” Troy whispered to
Chloe as he began to fill a mug. He slammed the glass on the counter in front of Jake. “That will be three fifty,” he said coldly.

  “What? No family discount?”

  Troy could tell his brother was already drunk. Probably high too because that’s just how Jake was. He nodded curtly to Ray and Chris, the lackeys that sat on either side of Jake but he didn’t move to get them drinks. He wanted to stay between his brother and Chloe. Maybe he could get lucky and Jake wouldn’t recognize her.

  Chloe hadn’t moved since Jake walked in. She wanted to get as far away as possibly, but she was afraid he would chase her if she did anything to bring attention to herself. She remained at the bar with her head down while she typed a text to their boss.

  “Help @ bar now!”

  “What are you doing here Jake? Troy asked. His voice was calm, but his heart was racing. He could only imagine why his brother had come looking for him.

  “It’s a bar. I wanted a drink,” Jake spat at him. He looked around Troy toward the restaurant. “I actually came looking for that hot little waitress we had the other night,” he admitted. His eyes fell on Chloe. “I guess she will do. Come here sweetheart,” he called to her.

  She froze. She shot a look at Troy but there was nothing he could do. The other night he had no problem fighting with his brother because he knew Jake had been unarmed. Now he wasn’t so sure. It was probably in their best interest to humor him.

  “I said come here!” Jake repeated louder than before. He slapped his hand down on the bar. “And I need another beer,” he said to Troy.

  Chloe slowly started to move around the bar toward Jake. She looked down to pull her hair over her shoulder in hopes that he wouldn’t recognize her.

  “Look at me sweetheart,” Jake instructed her. “What a minute. You look familiar.”

  Chloe forced a sweet smile. “Hello Jackson,” she said softly. “It’s been a long time.”

  Jake wracked his brain to remember the girl. He knew her, but from where? Why did she call him Jackson?

  “Carrie?” he asked. He wasn’t sure if he had the right name, but he knew it was close. It had been several years since he left her in the middle of the night.