Layers Off (Layers Trilogy)

by Silks, Lacey

  The idea of owning Kissed – that’s what I’d call it – became that much more real when I shared it with him. Telling Julian about it in a sober state made it seem possible and reachable. As time passed, I became more and more confident that our weekends definitely held date qualities.

  Julian’s basement – present day

  “I was thinking we should go out on a date,” he said.

  Had we both just traveled to the past?

  Julian stood behind the pool table. The way he watched me burned through my core. Would that date he was talking about take place in his bedroom? Julian’s entire demeanor screamed lust. He truly was the epitome of sexy with a triple x.

  “Are you officially asking me out?” I bit my lip.

  “Only if you say yes.” A hint of trepidation trailed on his voice. “We never had a first date, and I’d love to take you out, like to the movies or something.”

  Something inside me deflated. Was I expecting too much? As I sank lower in the seat, Julian pulled out a BluRay disk. He stood close enough that I could see Rachel and Ryan on the package, in their breathless embrace.

  I sucked in a quick breath and my gaze traveled to his. That spark in his eyes was contagious.

  “What do you say, K? Do you believe in second chances?”

  You are, and always have been, my dream. I guess I remembered another line from the first movie we once saw together.

  CHAPTER 10

  The excitement of packing for our trip to Vienna filled the house. For the first time in two months I’d interact with someone else than Julian, my doctors, or Clara. Nerves consumed me at the thought of facing my demons, apologizing and making amends. Even more, I was coming here with Julian. We were together, yet so far apart; my need for him had swelled to the maximum as I wondered whether this was it. Was coming here together, to Vienna, the first step forward in our relationship? Could we finally rekindle that night six years ago?

  Gabe and Sam’s house looked like it was from a fairy tale. Courtesy of Emma’s and Mrs. Cross’s decorative skills, the ski-like chalet had been transformed into a winter wonderland. Sam and Gabe had exchanged their vows that morning, and I couldn’t have been happier for my friend. She looked absolutely stunning. Now that she was married, the little escapade I insisted the three of us have with her then-boyfriend Gabe embarrassed me. I’d already apologized to them both, first for mixing them in my drug world which had ended with Sam being buried underground, and then for acting like their mistress. Sam as always comforted me, saying our little adventure brought out the woman in her and cleared her thinking as to what she really wanted in a relationship, and that was Gabe. She insisted I’d done her a favor – she’d never have those ‘what if’ questions about other women or threesomes. I sort of felt used after she said that, but I guess it was only fair as I had been the one to coerce them both to join my little sex fantasy.

  As I strolled through the decorated hallway, I noticed Tristan and Julian standing by the closet door. Their conversation held a mysterious tone, and I wondered what they were talking about. Fighting the immediate guilt boring into my body, I leaned against a beam and listened in.

  “She’s well enough now,” Julian said. “If I want to take our relationship further, I need to be honest with her.”

  It warmed me to think Julian was thinking about us the same way I was. The anticipation of having him in my bed was beginning to itch me more and more. But I’d wondered what secret he’d held from me.

  “It would ruin her and us at the same time,” Tristan replied.

  “That’s bull and you know it.” Julian’s jaw clenched.

  “It’s not if someone finds out Father was paid millions of taxpayer dollars for this job. What do you think I’ve been doing in Washington all this time? Covering our tracks takes time and connections.”

  “It was a job. And we weren’t aware of the details back then.”

  “But we are now.”

  “Tristan, the bill was passed. Donato will concentrate on moving his money laundering operations instead of on us.”

  “You know if you want to eavesdrop you can hear much more from the other side.”

  I jumped up. Emma, Tristan’s and Julian’s little sister, startled me.

  “I’m not eavesdropping. I’m just waiting for Tristan to be free.”

  “And I’m the Queen of England.” She placed her hands on her hips, rolling her eyes in that melodramatic manner of hers.

  I knew asking Emma about the brothers conversation could probably give me some answers, but I wasn’t about to use their little sister like that. I’d known her more than half her life and often thought of her as my own sister as well. Whatever they were hiding, I couldn’t involve her.

  “I missed you.” She slammed into me with her full force, holding her arms tightly around my still-frail frame. “And our girl talks. You were always the cool one in the family. No one tells it like it is anymore, K. And I can’t really ask Julian or Tristan about boys because they’ll freak out. You know, I once mentioned someone in my grade having sex, and I swear they considered buying a chastity belt for me.”

  “And what makes you think I wouldn’t have freaked out if you asked me?” I felt my eyes grow to double their size.

  “Because I know you.” She gently stabbed her index finger into my chest. “And you were just like me at my age, so you understand. Come on, K, admit it. You wouldn’t have freaked.”

  She was right. Emma knew me better than I did.

  “Is someone seriously having sex at that age?” I asked, suddenly feeling as if I were at least forty.

  “I just heard a few girls talking about it.” She shrugged.

  “And you?”

  “Are you kidding? This” – she gestured to her body as if it were some sort of an unattainable treasure – “comes at the price of a good education, book-boyfriend charisma, and waiting at least until I know I’m ready.”

  Where were girls like Emma when I was her age? And, did her girlfriends know how lucky they were?

  “It’s good to know you have a smart head on your shoulders. But Emma, you know you can ask your mom about these things too.”

  She lowered her hands on her hips and assaulted me with one long dirty look. “Who are you and what have you done to my Kendra?”

  “I’m sorry. I’m just trying to do the right thing.”

  “Well, you should stop trying around me. Besides, you’re so much better at explaining this boys stuff than Mom, and I don’t feel as embarrassed.”

  “You embarrassed?” I teased, then gazed back at Julian and Tristan. “I don’t know, Emma. I don’t think I’m that good with boys either.” I paused. “I’ve already messed up one of your brothers, and now it looks like the other one wants to get hurt as well. Julian’s acting weird.”

  “You mean like a pussy?”

  “Emma!”

  “I’ve seen how he is around you. You’re like his little egg he’s afraid to break. And if you ask me, if he waits any longer to make a move, I think his little egg will spoil.” She poked me with her finger again.

  “Why do you think that? I’ve been getting better.”

  “That’s true, but you’ve been hiding. You’re afraid, and if you don’t soon figure out why, you two will drive each other so far away, it will take a magician to get you back together.”

  “Are you really thirteen?”

  “Almost fourteen.”

  “Right.”

  Was Emma right? Would one of us finally have to make a drastic move to get past the pussy-like behavior?

  “K, take it from a girl who sees all and hears all. Things aren’t always the way they seem.”

  For the second time that night I fought the urge to ask Emma whether she knew what Tristan and Julian were talking about. But if she did, she definitely wasn’t giving it away willingly, and I wouldn’t pry. I couldn’t pry.

  “So, how’s high school going? Anyone bothering you?”

  I had no d
oubt Emma could handle whatever challenge was thrown her way, and if she couldn’t, I knew she’d ask for help.

  “School’s good. Boys are boring.”

  “That’s because they’re not men yet.” I winked. “But don’t worry, you’ll see some hope in few more years. Remember that you’re the one who holds all the cards – not the boys. And despite what some of your friends are doing, you still have a few more years to go, so promise me you won’t rush into... sex.” I whispered the last word.

  “See, you’re already breaking through that egg shell.” Emma winked. “And I promise I won’t rush. It’s so good to have you back, K. So I met this guy online and he lives near here. And he’s so smart. He goes to this private school and has been programming these little robots that can do things you wouldn’t imagine.”

  I so hoped Emma wasn’t talking about the electronic gadgets I had on my mind. But I didn’t interrupt her. It seemed he was more into computer stuff than mechanics, so I listened as she continued.

  “You know, European boys seem so much more mature. He even has a stubble on his face!” She widened her eyes as if that were the most important feature on a man. It didn’t seem like Emma was having any trouble finding a suitable boyfriend after all. The question Emma should have been more concerned with was whether he would pass Julian’s and Tristan’s keen eye.

  “And can I assume your brothers don’t know about him?”

  “Hell, no! You’re not going to tell them, are you? Because if you did, then any hope I had to—”

  “—Emma, stop. Of course I won’t! As long as you keep me in the loop, my lips are sealed.” I pulled my fingers across my mouth as if closing a zipper.

  “Your lips are sealed for what?” Tristan interrupted.

  “Nothing.” Emma stood up straight as if someone had pinned her to a wall. At the same time, Julian came by and took me by my waist.

  “I need a minute with Tristan,” I said to him.

  “Of course.” Julian kissed me on my cheek, the same way he had so many times before. It seemed this was the only physical gesture Julian could find in himself to offer me. As much as I longed for something more, he always hesitated, and it was beginning to bother me more than I wanted to admit. At first I thought he was honestly waiting for me to fully recover, but I’d been well for a while now. Didn’t he want me? Had he realized I wasn’t worthy of his affection? Emma’s description of her brother may have held some ground, but I knew Julian – there had to be a reason for his distant behavior.

  Emma hooked her arm into Julian’s, winked back at me, and they strolled toward the mingling crowd.

  “What was that about?” Tristan asked.

  “My lips are sealed.”

  “Ahh, you two scheming again?”

  “When have we schemed?”

  “How about when you told her to die my hair purple?”

  “Oh, that.” I forgot about how cool it had felt to pull pranks on Julian and Tristan. And with Emma’s help, anything was possible.

  “How’s the recovery? You look much better, K. Do you have everything you need?” Tristan asked.

  “It’s improving every day. And I guess I’m doing much better than I would have been if Martinez had sold me.”

  I noticed Tristan cringe at my words.

  “I’d probably have slashed my wrists if they’d kept me locked up any longer, but I knew you wouldn’t abandon me.” I felt my chest vibrate with nerves.

  “Of course I wouldn’t, K. I’m the reason you started—”

  “—please, Tristan. No need to make excuses for me.”

  He let out a long breath. “Then I’m so sorry for hurting you and rejecting you the way I did. I was an asshole and didn’t think.”

  Yes, he could have handled it differently, but I’d made a share of my own mistakes and could never blame him.

  “I appreciate that, but really, you know I’m the one who caused it all. Julian’s been wonderful, helping me acknowledge my actions.” I raised my hand to his chest and touched near his heart where I’d stabbed him. Tristan lifted his hand to mine and held it there.

  “I hope one day you can forgive me,” I said, looking right into his eyes. They seemed so different now. Not the same ones I remembered when we dated. For the first time, Tristan’s eyes truly appeared different from Julian’s. Most importantly, they looked taken – as if he belonged to someone else, which he did.

  “Of course, K. All I wish is for you to get better and to be happy. Everyone has a hiccup in their life. We both did, and now we can both move on. I should have never pursued a relationship with you in the first place. I saw the connection you made with Julian – and I was jealous. I should have known better than to jump in his place when all you needed was a friend.”

  “As I recall, I was the one who jumped you.” I remembered that evening in the Cross’s basement.

  “But I was older and wiser.”

  “Well, you got half of it right.” I punched him playfully on his arm. “So, we’re okay?”

  “Yes, we’re definitely okay. And if you ever need anything, I will always be there for you. Although I see my brother is filling in nicely.”

  “Julian’s been great.”

  “I sense a ‘but’ here...”

  “But he’s cautious and wary of me. He’s acting as if I’m a frail doll he’ll break.”

  “Are you surprised? After what you’ve been through, I still can’t believe you made it to the wedding. Give him some time. He just wants what’s best for you. We all do.”

  “Yes, time. It’s just hard to gauge how long it will be before it all passes. At least now I know it can pass.”

  “I’m sorry, K. I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through. Ever since the train incident, your life changed so much.”

  “You know, sometimes I wish we had gone back to get them. I wonder how my life would have been different if I hadn’t lost my parents when I needed them the most.”

  “If we had gone back, none of us would be here.”

  “I know. I’m grateful to you both – the way you risked your lives – not many would have. And if you hadn’t helped me get a new identity, those murderers who were after my family would have found me too. And now my father’s secrets are buried with him.” I let out an exasperated breath.

  “It’s all in the past now. I should get back to Allie. I see Julian’s filling her ear again.”

  Why did it seem to me that Tristan was trying to change the subject? The scar on his upper lip twitched as his gaze darted from me to Allie.

  “Take care, Tristan.”

  “You too, K.” He kissed me on my cheek and left to steal Allie from under the arm of Julian, whose smug look couldn’t have been mistaken for anything other than teasing. But once Julian saw me, he headed my way.

  “Are you all right?” he asked.

  “You could say that.” The conversation I’d overheard between the brothers still gnawed at my gut. I shifted uncomfortably in his embrace.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “Can we find a quiet spot?” I asked.

  “Of course.”

  Julian led me upstairs into his bedroom and locked the door. The sound of the clicking lock sent a flurry of goose bumps over my arms. It was so different from the sound of unlocking chains – much more pleasant. He sat in a chaise and pulled another one in front of him, patting it down for me.

  As much as I didn’t like the doctor-patient atmosphere he always created when I wanted to talk, it seemed I didn’t have much choice this time.

  “Talk to me.”

  “Okay, here it goes.” I took in a deep breath. “I may have overheard a conversation you had with Tristan.”

  Julian’s face sobered, but he squeezed my hands to continue, a camouflage of calmness covering his face once again.

  “I heard you talking about my father and how he was paid millions for a job you did. What job? And who’s Donato?”

  The last name I knew from my past had to
be a coincidence. There was no way the sick bastard who tried to touch me in high school would have anything to do with Washington.

  Julian let go of my hands and ran his fingers through his hair. He pursed his lips for a moment, opening them and then closing them again as if he was debating whether to tell me.

  “Through contacts, Tristan’s been able to pressure Congress to vote on tighter policies against money laundering. Donato didn’t like it. He’s been giving us a hard time about it, making it more difficult to get business.”

  “What about the money my father paid?”

  “K, there are things in the past that should stay buried there. This is one of them.”

  I watched his face before I spoke again. Whatever this secret was, it must had more to do with me than my father. Julian knew I could handle any government mischief; he wouldn’t have hesitated. What exactly did he want to stay in the past, and how was I involved?

  “What do you feel guilty for? What do I not know?”

  “It’s not guilt, Kendra.”

  I threw my hands up in the air and stood up. “I’m trying to build a new life – one without lies or deceit. You know how important it is for me to heal before I can move on. If there’s something you can tell me about my past that’s been hidden from me, then maybe I can put my nightmares to rest.”

  It wasn’t a secret how many times per week I still woke up drenched in sweat, shaking, absolutely petrified, and I didn’t know why. We’d blamed it on my captivity, but I knew that wasn’t it. I couldn’t figure out why the flashes of guns and blood were coming back to me at night.

  Julian remained in the chair and leaned back, regarding me. My plea caused my heart to race. Deep down I was sure this could fast-forward my recovery.

  His shoulders dropped as he said, “What I know could destroy you.” He reached for my hand, gently tugging so that I would sit back down.

  “How? I don’t understand.”