'Til I Kissed You

by Pam Howes

  ***

  ‘This looks and smells wonderful.’ Eddie helped himself to vegetables.

  ‘Have you decided what to do with Celia’s place, Ed?’ Ben asked, pouring wine for everyone.

  ‘We’ve emptied it and it’s up for sale. If it doesn’t sell I’ll update it and do holiday lets. The estate agent said the market’s slow, so we’ll have to wait and see what happens.’

  ‘Did anyone ring while we were away, Mum?’ Jane asked.

  ‘There’s a list of callers by the phone. I didn’t give out Celia’s number. I assumed you wouldn’t want to be bothered unless it was urgent. There’s a package on the dresser from Pat and Tim. It feels bulky. It might be photos. The label says “Do Not Bend”.’

  ‘Oh great, I haven’t had a letter or call for weeks and neither has Sammy. We were getting a bit worried.’

  Jane picked up the package from Nashville. She opened it and removed a bundle of photographs. A smiling Pat and Tim Davis, lounging by their swimming pool, looked back at her. There were several shots of their daughters, Kim and Abby, sitting astride their ponies.

  The last photo was of Tim and a group of men standing around in a recording studio. Pat had written on the back, Tim, and some guys you might recognise.

  Jane turned the photo over and looked closely at the bearded man clutching drumsticks. Another man, standing next to Tim, was smiling and holding a double bass.

  ‘I don’t believe it. Ed, look who Tim’s with,’ she exclaimed.

  ‘Ah, yeah, last time I spoke to Tim he said he’d bumped into them. They were in the studio to do some recording the same time as Tim’s band. I meant to tell you but it slipped my mind.’

  ‘How could you forget something like that?’

  ‘Well what with the kids and dog, I get so mithered. You know how it is, a man’s work and all that.’

  ‘Oh God, get the violins out,’ Jane said. ‘How on earth do you think I managed with Jon and Jess? You were away with the group all the time and there was no mum next door to go running to every five minutes.’

  ‘You had Sammy living here,’ Eddie said. ‘She helped you with the kids.’

  ‘Sammy was pregnant two years on the run. Then we had Nick and Jason to look after, too. It was no picnic, Ed. Especially with all those bloody fans hanging around the gates waiting for you lot to come home.’

  ‘Never mind, Jane.’ Enid patted her hand. ‘You’ve a nice little job now with Sammy. Eddie has all the hard work with the children these days.’

  ‘Mum, honestly. Sammy and I run a business. We employ a lot of people. It’s not a little job, as you put it. And Eddie does not have all the hard work either. You and the cleaner do most of it. He just messes about with Roy all afternoon in the music room while the kids are at school.’

  ‘Jane!’ Eddie exclaimed. ‘That messing about keeps you in Porsches and leather coats. Roy and I write songs. It’s a business, like the band was. It’s our living.’

  ‘Sorry, Ed, I’m tired. Mum always seems to think you’re badly done to, staying at home with the kids all day. But you said you didn’t want a nanny. It’s your choice to look after them, I don’t force you.’

  ‘I know you don’t, and I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t love it,’ he replied.

  ‘Are you two going to stop arguing?’ Ben reached for the photograph. ‘Put us out of our misery and tell us who this is, Jane.’

  ‘It’s The Crickets. Joe B and Jerry. Can you believe Ed forgot to tell me that Tim met them at the studio?’

  ‘We were talking music. I said I was sorry. Anybody would think I’d committed a crime.’

  ‘You have!’ Jane’s eyes twinkled. ‘You just wait ’til later and I’ll think of a suitable punishment.’

  ‘Promises, promises,’ he said, grinning.

  Enid took the photo off Ben. ‘Fancy that. Do you remember when Jane used to play That’ll be the Day over and over when she was younger?’

  ‘I do. Buddy Holly and The Crickets,’ Ben replied. ‘I also remember the day she came home from school in tears after she’d heard Buddy Holly had died in a plane crash. That was the year after the Man United crash at Munich.’

  ‘That’s right, Ben,’ Eddie nodded. ‘He died on February the third 1959. Some dates you never forget.’

  ‘Like December the eighth 1980,’ Jane said, eyes filling with sudden tears.

  ‘Why, what happened then?’ Enid said, frowning.

  ‘John Lennon was murdered,’ Jess said. ‘Everybody knows that, Gran.’

  ‘Oh yes, of course,’ Enid said. ‘That’s when I realised just how vulnerable you boys had been on your American tours. I bet you’re glad that’s all behind you now, Ed?’

  Eddie took a swig of wine and smiled. ‘If I’m honest, I miss the band. Roy and I often talk of re-forming The Raiders, but without Tim it’s unthinkable.’

  ‘Ed, I’d hate for you to be touring again,’ Jane said quietly.

  ‘Well it’s not likely to happen. Tim’s in the States, Carl’s happy working as a session pianist and Christ alone knows what’s happened to Phil Jackson.’

  ‘He’s around,’ Jane said, referring to The Raiders blonde, rhythm guitarist. ‘We always get a card off him at Christmas, and his mum still lives in Pickford. You should get in touch with him again.’

  ‘He was a good looking lad, that Phil Jackson,’ Enid said. ‘Used to flatter me something shocking. Made me feel young again.’

  Ben raised his eyebrows and passed his cigarettes round. ‘The lad probably needed glasses!’

  Jane laughed and picked up the letter. ‘If you’ll all excuse me, I’m going into the lounge to read Pat’s latest news.’

  ‘Where’s our Katie?’ Eddie asked as Jane left the room. ‘Shouldn’t she be back by now? It’s nearly bedtime.’

  ‘She’s still at her friend’s,’ Enid replied. ‘Lucy’s mum said she’d bring her home about seven.’

  ‘Okay, I suppose we should make the most of the peace. More wine, anybody?’ Eddie opened another bottle of red as Ben, Jon and Jess pushed their glasses across the table.

  ‘What’s up with you two? You’re both very quiet tonight,’ Eddie addressed his son and daughter.

  ‘We’ve a lot on our minds, Dad. Isn’t that right, Sis?’ Jon replied.

  ‘I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that Roy and Sammy have okay-ed Nick and I living together,’ Jess said, reaching for her wine.

  ‘Living together?’ Enid’s eyebrows shot up her forehead.

  ‘Yes, Gran, Mum and Dad have given their permission.’

  ‘Well it’s very liberal of you, Ed, but don’t you think they’re a bit too young for that sort of commitment?’ Enid pursed her lips in a manner that Eddie knew meant business.

  ‘Jess is nearly nineteen. Jane was nineteen when you allowed her to move in with me.’

  ‘I didn’t allow her, she just did it,’ Enid replied. ‘I gave her my blessing because you couldn’t look after Jon on your own after Angie died. Those were exceptional circumstances, and you two got married, eventually.’

  ‘Jane and I were in love, we wanted to be together. Nick and Jess are also in love.’

  ‘Well there you are then,’ Jess said, and smiled round at everyone. ‘But Nick and I won’t be getting married. He says we don’t need a bit of paper to prove our love.’

  ‘It’s not just a bit of paper, Jess.’ Enid folded her arms across her bosom. ‘Your marriage vows should mean more than that. Oh well, I wash my hands of it. As I always said to your mother, you make your own bed. What will be, will be.’

  ***

  CHAPTER SIX

  Jane pulled the voile curtains across the French doors and switched on the lamps. She kicked off her shoes and flopped down on the sofa. It was good to be home, she thought as she wriggled her toes into the soft pile of the Flokati rug. Her mum had lit a fire earlier and the room felt warm and cosy.

  She unfolded Pat’s letter and settled back. Her friend had the knack of story telli
ng and her letters were always a joy. As she finished the first page, Jane’s smile faded. She dropped the letter onto her lap and called out, ‘Ed, come in here, quickly!’

  He rushed into the lounge and she handed him the letter.

  ‘What is it?’ he asked as her eyes filled with tears.

  ‘Read it,’ she choked.

  Eddie sat down next to her and read the page, shock registering on his face.

  ‘Oh dear, no,’ he said, looking at Jane.

  Enid, carrying a mug of coffee into the lounge, stared at their distressed faces.

  ‘What on earth’s the matter?’

  ‘Pat has breast cancer,’ Eddie replied. ‘She found a lump and had her right breast removed. She’s having chemotherapy,’ he continued, scanning the rest of the letter. ‘She’s lost her hair. That’s upset her of course. That photo of her and Tim was taken a week before she found the lump, she says, and wants us to remember her like that, just as she was.’

  Jane was sobbing and Eddie took her in his arms. Enid had tears in her eyes as Ben walked into the lounge, Lennon on his heels as usual.

  ‘What’s going on?’ he asked. ‘One minute you’re all smiles around the table, next minute tears.’

  Eddie handed him the letter. Ben read it and bit his lip. ‘Will she make a full recovery?’

  ‘I hope so,’ Eddie replied. ‘Her letter’s optimistic. She actually seems quite cheerful. Jane, we’ll phone them later. You can speak with Pat, ask her how she is. This letter was written over two weeks ago. She might be feeling more like her old self today. I don’t understand why Tim didn’t say anything to me when we last spoke. Why don’t you call Sammy, see if she’s heard anything?’

  ‘I will,’ Jane nodded, sniffing loudly.

  Ben passed her his handkerchief. ‘Here you are, pet, it’s clean.’

  ‘Thanks, Dad. I’ll call from upstairs, it’s more private. I’ll see you later.’

  ***

  Enid watched her daughter walk out of the room. ‘You don’t know what’s round the corner, do you?’ she said. ‘Pat’s mother died young from breast cancer. That was before you met the girls, Ed. Her dad had married Sammy’s mum, Molly by then.’

  Eddie nodded. ‘I was puzzled as to how two sisters could look so different, until Jane told me they were step-sisters.’

  ‘Well look at your lot,’ Enid said. ‘Katie and Dom are the spit of Jane, Jess’s a bit of you both, but our Jon, well he’s nothing at all like you. I reckon Angie was having you on there and he’s the milkman’s.’

  ‘I reckon you might be right,’ Eddie laughed. ‘I’ll go up and see Jane. Jess can bath Dominic tonight. I’ll leave you two to have your coffee in peace.’

  ***

  What would Enid say if she knew the truth? Eddie thought as he left the lounge. That with his thick, dark curls and vivid green eyes; Jon was the image of his late father. It was the most closely guarded secret of Eddie’s life, how Angie had duped him into believing she was carrying his child. His thoughts returned to the day his life had been turned upside down.

  When his seventeen-year-old ex announced she was pregnant and Eddie was the father, he’d told his parents who urged him to do the right thing and marry her, even though he was in love with Jane. The marriage didn’t last. He and Angie separated when Jon was almost three. Eddie had resumed his relationship with Jane. Angie began dating Richard Price. Following Angie and Richard’s deaths in a car crash he was told by Jon’s godmother, Cathy that Richard had fathered Jon during a one night stand. But Eddie adored the little boy and couldn’t bear to part with him.

  Roy had taken charge when he went to pieces, suggesting they make a pact to keep the truth to themselves. Eddie had agreed; he didn’t want to lose Jon to Angie’s or Richard’s families. The Raiders were high profile at the time and the media would have loved a juicy story. Not even his late parents or Jane’s were privy to the truth. The only parties to the pact, besides he and Jane, were Cathy, her husband Carl, Sammy, Roy, Tim and Pat. Eddie had told Jon that Jane was not his real mother. To this day Jon was still none the wiser about his true parentage and Eddie hoped that was how it would always remain.

  ***

  Jess and Jon were still sitting at the table in companionable silence, finishing off the last of the wine. Dominic, chin on hands, was staring at his big brother and sister, a look of adoration on his young face.

  Eddie ruffled Dominic’s hair. ‘Bedtime, Dom. I’ll come and read you a story as soon as I can. Jess, will you run him a bath and help him, please?’

  ‘Why, where’s Mum rushed off to? I heard her going upstairs. I presumed it was to run a bath.’

  ‘We’ve had bad news from Nashville,’ Eddie replied. ‘Pat’s got breast cancer. Mum’s very upset. She’s gone upstairs to call Sammy. Will you bath him, please, Jess?’

  ‘Of course.’ Jess’s face registered shock. ‘Will Pat be okay?’

  ‘Well let’s hope so. She’s had chemotherapy and lost her hair. We’re going to call her later, see how she’s coping. I bet Tim’s in bits over this. He worships the ground Pat walks on. It’ll destroy him if anything happens to her.’

  ‘You’ve known them such a long time, haven’t you, Dad?’ Jon said, shaking his head.

  ‘All our lives, almost. Me, Tim and Roy went to the same school. Mum and Pat have been friends since they met at infant school. They teamed up with Sammy at the Grammar. We met them when they were fourteen, and the rest, as they say, is history.

  ‘Apart from my marriage to Angie, we’ve never been apart until Tim and Pat moved to Nashville. Right, on that note, I’m going upstairs. I’ll leave Dom in your very capable hands, Jess.’

  ***

  Jane was lying on the bed, sobbing down the phone to Sammy. Eddie took the receiver.

  ‘Hi Sam, it’s Ed. Is Roy there, love?’ Sammy muttered something incoherent and called for Roy.

  ‘Hi, Ed. Bad business, isn’t it?’ Roy said, clearly upset.

  ‘Terrible,’ Eddie agreed. ‘Jane’s heart-broken.’

  ‘So’s Sammy. We should be together at a time like this. We’ll drop Jason at Jules’s place and come over.’

  ‘Please do,’ Eddie replied. ‘I’ll call Tim when you get here.’

  ‘See you soon then.’

  ‘Katie should be home any minute,’ Eddie said, pulling Jane into his arms. ‘And Roy and Sammy are coming over.’

  ‘Good.’ She smiled through her tears as a car horn tooted.

  Eddie looked out to see Katie waving goodbye to her friend. Seconds later the bedroom door flew in and Katie hurtled into the room.

  ‘Daddy,’ she squealed, flinging herself at Eddie who picked her up and twirled her round and round. She was a daddy’s girl, just like Jess.

  ‘Say hello to Mummy, Katie.’ Eddie bounced his daughter onto the bed.

  Katie frowned, looking closely at her mum’s tearstained cheeks. ‘Mummy, why are you crying?’ Her big brown eyes clouded with concern. ‘Have you been naughty? Did Daddy shout at you?’

  ‘No of course he didn’t.’ Jane smiled at Katie’s serious expression.

  ‘Auntie Pat in America is poorly and Mummy’s feeling a little upset by the news. But it’s nothing for you to worry about,’ Eddie told her.

  Katie grinned. ‘Did you bring me a present?’ she asked hopefully.

  ‘Yes, but it’s not much I’m afraid. Ed, nip downstairs and get me that little pink bag off the dresser, please.’

  He was back in seconds, dangling the bag in front of Katie, just out of reach.

  ‘Have you been a good girl for Grandma?’

  ‘Of course I have,’ Kate replied, hands on her hips. ‘Why, what’s Grandma been saying? Did she tell you that I haven’t been good?’

  Eddie laughed. ‘Is that a guilty conscience, Katie Mellor?’ He handed her the bag and she delved inside, pulling out a pearly shell necklace and matching bracelet.

  ‘Oh, they’re very pretty, Mummy. Thank you.’

  �
��You’re welcome, sweetheart. There’s a stick of rock and a beach ball downstairs, too. Jess’s going to help you with your bath when she’s finished with Dom, so go and get yourself ready, please.’

  Katie shot off the bed and ran out of the room. Jane turned to Eddie. ‘I can’t face going back downstairs at the moment, Ed. Make my apologies to Mum and Dad and tell them I’ll catch up with them tomorrow.’

  ‘Okay, love. I’ll see them out and bring you a drink up.’ As he walked across the room Enid popped her head around the bedroom door.

  ‘We’re going home now, Jane. I’ll see you in the morning and you can tell me how Pat is then. I’ll phone Molly and Tom tomorrow. They’ve not mentioned anything to me, but perhaps they’ve kept the news to themselves for now. It’ll take some coming to terms with. Anyway, we’ll see ourselves out. Bye, love. Bye, Ed.’

  ‘Bye, Mum and thanks for everything; you’re wonderful. I don’t know how we would manage without you,’ Jane said, smiling tearfully.

  ‘Get away with you. It’s our pleasure.’

  ***

  Eddie let in Roy, Sammy and Nick and led them upstairs. Jane and Sammy fell on one another in a fresh outburst of tears and Nick disappeared to look for Jess. Roy and Eddie hugged one another.

  ‘Take a pew and we’ll call Nashville.’ Eddie gestured to the bed as Jon knocked on the door.

  ‘Dad, can I phone Helen? I promised I’d call her tonight. I’ll explain we’ve got a problem and you need the phone. I’ll arrange to ring her back later. I don’t want her to think I’ve let her down.’

  ‘Go ahead. Give us a shout when you’ve finished.’

  ‘Do you think we should go over to the States for a visit?’ Roy asked, as the four made themselves comfortable on the large brass bed.

  ‘I was wondering that myself,’ Eddie replied. ‘Let’s see what Tim has to say. He never said a thing about Pat’s illness when I spoke to him recently. Have you called Tom and your mum tonight, Sammy?’