'Til I Kissed You

by Pam Howes

  ‘Livvy, the backing tracks are ready. Come over on your day off next week and we’ll get the songs recorded. Not a word to Jess, please. Leave that to me, I’ll pick my moment.’

  ‘Okay, thanks a lot. Will you be here too, Roy?’

  ‘Err, yes of course. I can’t wait to hear you sing them.’

  She nodded, holding his gaze for a few seconds.

  ‘Ready to go, you lot?’ Jane popped her head around the door. ‘See you later, Livvy. Bye, kids. No messing about. You go to bed when Livvy tells you.’

  Katie, about to protest, caught her dad’s eye. She sighed and turned back to the game of Scrabble.

  Roy stood up. ‘I’ll just use the loo. You three wait in the car. I won’t be long.’ He shot upstairs and closed the bathroom door. He leant on the sink, staring at his flushed face in the mirror. He needed a minute alone to catch his whirling thoughts. A light tap on the door made him jump. He opened it slightly. Livvy pushed her way in.

  ‘What the hell are you doing?’ he said as she closed the door. ‘Supposing one of the others saw you coming up here?’ But Livvy wasn’t listening; she reached up and pulled his face down. His lips responded and he crushed her in a bear hug. ‘What am I doing?’ he moaned, almost to himself.

  ‘I love you, Roy,’ she said. ‘I overheard Jane telling Ed you would be late and why. Can you imagine how sick that made me feel after this morning?’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘But in all fairness, I have to make love to Sammy occasionally, or she’ll think something’s wrong. Look, I love you, I really do, but I love Sam, too. All this is doing my fucking head in. I’m so confused. I’ll have to go. They’ll think I’ve fallen asleep on the loo. I’ll call you tomorrow, I promise and I’ll come over.’

  ‘I’m working tomorrow,’ she replied.

  ‘Oh shit! Well can’t you pretend you’ve got a doctor’s appointment?’

  ‘I’ll think of something. I’ll call you after nine to let you know what I’m doing. Will Sammy have gone to work by then?’

  ‘She goes out between eight and nine. Anytime after that will be fine. I must go.’ He kissed her on the lips, dashed downstairs and out to the Jeep.

  Eddie peered closely at him. ‘You were a long time.’

  ‘My zip got stuck!’ Roy fibbed, marvelling at how easily the lie came out.

  ***

  The headwaiter at Rozzilo’s greeted them warmly. He showed them to their usual table in a quiet alcove.

  Roy grinned at the tubby little man. ‘Alright, Benito? The menus and a carafe of our favourite red, please.’

  Benito waddled away and was back within seconds. He handed round the menus and hovered with the carafe. ‘For everyone?’

  ‘Half a glass for me, please,’ Jane said.

  Benito tutted and shook his head. ‘You drive again, Miss Jane? You should let one of these men do the driving for a change.’

  ‘Oh yeah, and that’ll be the day,’ Jane said, grinning.

  ‘Now there’s a title for a song,’ Roy quipped, looking up from the menu.

  ‘What?’ Jane looked puzzled.

  ‘Oh dear, Jane, wake up. It was your favourite way back when. That’ll be the Day,’ he said, speaking slowly as though to a child.

  ‘Oh, of course. Sorry, Roy, I’m not with it. I’m very tired.’ She sipped her wine and smiled at him.

  ‘It’s so nice to be out together.’ Sammy raised her glass. ‘Cheers, everyone.’

  Roy clinked his glass against hers and nodded. ‘It’s lovely, but I, like Jane, am knackered. Sammy’s worn me out. Haven’t you, my love?’ He squeezed her hand affectionately.

  ‘I haven’t finished with you yet, Cantello,’ she said. ‘You wait until we get home. I’m taking tomorrow morning off, too. We can spend it doing whatever takes our fancy.’ Before Roy could reply, she continued, ‘You have Jane to thank, because she was going to spend the morning with Ed. She’s offered to take Wednesday instead.’

  Roy gulped at his wine and choked, splattering it down the front of his jacket.

  ‘Oh shit, now look what I’ve done.’ He rubbed at the red stain with his napkin.

  ‘Leave it; you’ll make it worse,’ Sammy ordered. ‘I’ll take it to the dry cleaners tomorrow. It spends more time there than it does in the bloody wardrobe.’

  Roy nodded, his mind working overtime. Livvy would be phoning him in the morning and Sammy would be home. Shit! It was all getting a bit complicated. Livvy would be upset if he couldn’t see her tomorrow, but maybe it was no bad thing. What use would he be to a young woman after Sammy had finished with him? Once Sammy got the urge she was certainly a goer and tonight she was raring to go. Her hand under the tablecloth roaming freely around his groin told him that.

  Following the main course, Jane and Sammy took themselves off to the ladies and Roy looked at Eddie. ‘You’ve gotta help me.’

  ‘Bloody hell, what’s up now?’

  ‘You heard what Sam said. She’s taking the morning off. Livvy’s phoning me about nine. She’s taking time off work tomorrow, too. Try and get her alone before she goes home. Tell her not to call me. I’ll catch up with her later.’

  Eddie sighed. ‘I’ll do my best.’

  Roy’s hand was shaking as he re-filled the glasses. ‘I’m a nervous wreck. This adultery lark’s not doing me any good.’

  ‘Well it’s your own daft fault for getting involved. You’ve pinched my morning of lust with Jane to boot. You’ve had more sex in two days than I’ve had in a week, so don’t complain to me,’ Eddie said, grinning at Roy’s pained expression.

  ‘It’s not all through choice, believe me. These things happen. Anyway, you’ve got Wednesday morning. So what are you moaning about?’

  ‘The cleaner comes on Wednesday. We can’t act out our sexual fantasies in front of her; she’d have a coronary.’

  ‘Get her to change her day, or go to Norman’s Woods.’

  Eddie’s eyes lit up. ‘Now there’s a thought.’ He knocked back his wine and caught Benito’s eye.

  ‘More wine, Mr Eddie?’

  ‘Please, Benito, and can you bring the dessert menu for the girls.’ He looked at Roy. ‘If you have a dessert you can tell Sammy you’re too full to perform. She might let you off if you’re lucky.’

  ‘She won’t, but I’m having a dessert anyway.’

  ***

  Livvy put Katie and Dominic to bed and read them each a story. She said goodnight and closed their doors. She wandered into the music room and looked at the memorabilia of The Raiders heydays.

  Gold discs, awards and framed photographs were neatly arranged in groups on the walls. She walked over to the mixing desk and picked up a framed black and white photograph. She reckoned it was one of the very first publicity photographs, taken when the group was still a trio. The threesome looked so young and full of hope.

  She could see that even in youth Roy had been blessed with striking good looks and not a pimple in sight. With his thick dark hair, high cheekbones and smouldering eyes, he bore a striking resemblance to a young Elvis. Come to bed eyes, she thought.

  She traced a finger over his pouting lips. Those same lips had been on hers earlier, had been all over her in fact. Livvy sighed dreamily and put the photo down. She walked out of the room and closed the door. She’d never met anyone like Roy before. She loved him totally and wished he felt the same about her. He said he loved her, but he couldn’t leave Sammy.

  Maybe he would in a month or two. Livvy had a scary feeling she might be pregnant, but then again, maybe she wasn’t. She’d forgotten her pill on a couple of occasions. It seemed to have mucked up her cycle. Perhaps she was worrying over nothing and it was normal to skip a period when your body was getting used to taking the pill. She wasn’t going to bother Roy at this stage with her worries or keep mithering him about leaving Sammy either. She didn’t want him to think she was being needy. She checked her watch and went downstairs. Lennon was waiting patiently by the kitchen door. He whimpered apol
ogetically.

  ‘Oh, Lennon, I’m sorry. Go on, wee laddie, do your stuff.’ She opened the door and he ran outside, stopping briefly to cock his leg against Roy’s sixteen spoke alloy.

  Livvy made a cup of tea and took a seat at the table. She looked around the comfortable family orientated room, which was dominated by a huge pine dresser. Photos, swimming certificates and paintings done at school by Dominic and Katie, hung on the walls. Livvy envied Jane and Sammy and all they had. How wonderful it must have been during the sixties, knowing that almost every woman in the country fancied your man. But also to have the security of knowing it was you he came home to, you he loved.

  Livvy had never experienced love in her life before Roy had taken her into his arms. Now she felt loved and safe, even though she shared him. He was the father figure she’d never had. She often wondered about her own dad. What he was doing and did he ever think about her. Did he regret giving her away? She could never give a baby away and she hugged her hands protectively around her middle.

  She hardly ever thought about her mum, well only sometimes. But whenever she thought about her real parents at all it was her dad she tried to picture in her mind. He would be thirty-eight now, as he’d been sixteen the year she was born. He’d be even younger than Roy was. What on earth would he think; his daughter with a lover older than he. Roy had everything in life that a man could ever want. He’d travelled the world; had money in his pocket and still had his looks and talent. He also had two sons who were her friends and would be horrified to learn that she and their dad were lovers.

  All she’d ever wanted from life, before she met Roy, was to be a singer. She thought she’d found her niche with The Zoo, but it wasn’t going to work. Well, she’d show them all. With Roy planning to manage her solo career, she was determined to steal Jess’s thunder in the singing stakes.

  ***

  ‘Do you two want desserts and coffee?’ Eddie asked Jane and Sammy.

  ‘Please, Tiramisu and a Cappuccino for me,’ Sammy said. ‘No doubt Roy will have the same. Jane’s suggested the four of us go to Brittany for the first two weeks of September. There’s been a cancellation at the farmhouse. She’ll keep it free if we fancy it. What do you think, Roy?’

  ‘That’s brilliant love; we need a break. You and Jane especially. You’ve both been working really hard lately.’

  Eddie nodded. ‘If we go away at that time, we’ll be back a few weeks before Pat and Tim arrive home. That should fit in nicely with our plans to re-form the band. More wine, anyone?’

  ‘When are they back?’ Roy asked, pushing his empty glass across the table.

  ‘Middle of October,’ Jane replied. ‘The flights are booked. By the way, talking of holidays, did you get a post card from…?’ She got no further as Eddie dropped the wine carafe onto Roy’s empty glass, shattering both and spilling the wine over the white tablecloth.

  ‘Ed, you clumsy so and so!’ Jane signalled to Benito who ran over with a handful of tea towels.

  ‘I’m sorry, it slipped,’ he apologised, looking meaningfully at Roy, who raised a grateful eyebrow in response as Jane and Sammy helped Benito mop up the wine.

  Roy asked Benito for the bill, paid it, tipped the little man generously and then joined Eddie in the gents. ‘I owe you one big time, mate, thanks.’ He patted him on the shoulder.

  ‘Well let’s just hope Jane doesn’t remember what she was telling Sammy while we’re in here or on the way home,’ Eddie replied.

  ‘I’ll keep Sammy occupied, don’t worry,’ Roy muttered. They rejoined their wives and said goodnight to Benito, who was sweeping up shards of glass into a dustpan.

  Roy helped a tipsy Sammy into the Jeep and slid his arm around her shoulders.

  Jane started up the engine and pulled away. ‘I don’t know, Ed,’ she began, ‘fancy dropping the wine like that. Oh, Sam, I remember what I was starting to tell you, before Ed dropped the carafe.’

  Eddie shook his head and pointed to the rear view mirror.

  She glanced over her shoulder at Roy and Sammy, who were locked in a passionate clinch.

  ‘I hope they’ve got their seat-belts on.’

  ‘I don’t think they care right at this moment,’ Eddie said.

  ‘We’ll go straight home,’ Roy announced as they pulled up outside Hanover’s Lodge. ‘I don’t think I’m much over the limit. If I drive slowly I won’t attract police attention.’

  ‘That’s fine by us, so long as you’re sure you feel okay to drive,’ Eddie replied. ‘Or you can come inside and I’ll call a taxi.’

  Roy shook his head and helped Sammy into their car. Jane kissed him goodnight, said goodnight to Sammy and went indoors. Eddie stood by the side of the car for a few minutes talking to Roy.

  ‘I’d rather not see Liv again tonight,’ Roy whispered. ‘Don’t forget to tell her not to call me tomorrow.’

  ‘I’ll do my best,’ Eddie replied. ‘Go on, take Sam home. She’s probably had a bit too much to drink, so you should be safe.’

  Roy raised an eyebrow. ‘You reckon? She was more than ready and willing in the back of your car. I had to keep reminding her where we were. Anyway, I feel raring to go again myself. God knows how, but I do.’

  Eddie laughed. ‘I don’t know how you do it, Cantello, I really don’t.’

  ‘It’s the Italian blood,’ Roy grinned. ‘It has to be. Right, I’m going before we go off the boil. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, sometime after Sammy’s gone to work.’

  ***

  Eddie went indoors where Livvy was standing in the lounge with her jacket on.

  ‘I’ve paid Livvy,’ Jane told him. ‘Go up and see Katie. She’s had a bad dream about monsters and wants daddy. Go on, I’ll see Livvy out to her car and lock up.’

  ‘Night, Livvy and thanks very much,’ Eddie called as he ran upstairs. Katie was sitting up in bed, her face tear-stained, her bottom lip pouting. He took her in his arms and cuddled her. ‘Is that better, Katie?’

  ‘Yes thank you, Daddy. I had a horrible dream that a monster was chasing Lennon and me down the lane. It was awful,’ she shuddered. ‘It was just like the ones in Dom’s book.’

  ‘Shall I sing you a song to help you to go to sleep?’ He lay her down and stroked her hair off her face.

  ‘Sing My Special Girl for me,’ she said, wiping her nose on her nightdress sleeve. ‘I’m your special girl now aren’t I? Now that Jess’s left home.’

  ‘Don’t use your sleeve,’ he said, handing her a tissue. ‘You’re all my special girls, you, Jess and your mum. I wrote that song with Uncle Roy a long, long time ago, before you were even a twinkle in my eye.’ As he sang, Katie closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. Eddie looked up to see Jane standing by the door, a smile on her face.

  ‘Come on, Ed, let’s go to bed. She’ll be fine now.’

  He rose, took her hand and led her to their room. ‘Come and love me, Jane, I need you. All in all it’s been a pretty hectic day.’

  ‘Well you’ve been swanning around at home for most of it,’ she teased as she took off her dress and hung it in the wardrobe.

  ‘Don’t you believe it,’ he replied as they sank down onto the bed.

  It was only after making love to Jane, and before he drifted of into a much needed sleep that Eddie remembered he hadn’t asked Livvy not to call Roy. ‘Fuck!’ he muttered. Oh well, too late now, Roy would just have to take his chance.

  ***

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Eddie stopped at the traffic lights and glanced across at Katie who was frowning beneath the brim of her school hat. ‘Something bothering you, Katie?’

  ‘I’ve been thinking,’ she began solemnly.

  ‘Have you now?’ He knew that tone. He was about to be interrogated.

  ‘That twinkle in your eye, the one you told me about last night when you sang to me.’

  ‘What about it?’

  ‘Was Jess a twinkle when you wrote that song?’

  Eddie rubbed his chin thoughtfully
as the lights changed and he moved off. ‘Err, no, Jess was already growing in Mum’s tummy by then.’

  ‘I knew it.’ She folded her arms across her chest. ‘She always gets to do things before me. You could have done two twinkles in one go if you’d shaped yourself.’ She pursed her lips, exactly like Jane’s mother as Eddie tried to hide his amusement.

  ‘Lucy’s mum had two twinkles at once from Lucy’s dad,’ she continued. ‘They got Lucy and Grace. Her daddy did it properly, not like you.’

  ‘Well it doesn’t always happen that way, Katie. I’m sorry if I don’t quite measure up in the twinkles department. I did my best, really.’ He patted her knee.

  She turned to look at him. ‘Well I s’pose it’s all right. It’s just that Jess’s left school now and she’s going to marry Nick. If I’d been borned a twin with Jess, Nick might have wanted to marry me, not her. It’s not fair.’

  ‘Well I’d have been committed to the loony bin with two of you like Jess in one go,’ Eddie replied as he indicated to pull up outside Manor Banks. ‘It’s better this way, Katie; you get more attention. I hardly ever saw Jon and Jess when they were little. That’s why Mummy and I chose to have you and Dom later. We can enjoy you both now that we’ve got more time on our hands. And, Katie, don’t tell mum or Jess this, but you are really my very special girl. Now that’s our secret. Mum thinks it’s her. Jess is quite sure she is as well. But we know that it’s really you.’

  ‘Thank you, Daddy.’ She kissed him and got out of the car, beaming. She skipped off to join Lucy who was waiting for her by the school gates.

  Eddie watched her go, feeling pleased with his diplomacy.

  Dominic, sitting quietly on the back seat, rolled his eyes. ‘Women,’ he muttered and clambered out of the Jeep.

  Eddie leant out of the window and ruffled his hair. ‘Son, if you’ve any sense at all, you’ll avoid women like the plague when you grow up. They get you into all kinds of trouble.’