'Til I Kissed You

by Pam Howes

  ‘He’s a complete loony I’m afraid,’ Cathy said. ‘Behave yourself, Ben, for God’s sake!’ The over excited dog ignored her commands. ‘He’ll settle down in a minute or two. We always have this performance when we have visitors. Carl got him to keep me company when he’s away. He’s a sweetheart, really.’

  Sally laughed as she tried to pat Ben’s head. He squirmed and wriggled with delight, his stumpy tail wagging frantically.

  ‘I’ll put him in the garden for a while. Go on, Ben, find the squirrel.’ Cathy pushed him out and closed the back door. ‘Carl’s in London, and his mum, who lives with us, is asleep upstairs, so we’ve got some peace.’

  ‘I’m surprised anyone can sleep through that dog barking,’ Sally laughed, following Cathy into the stylish kitchen.

  ‘She’ll have taken her hearing aid out,’ Cathy said.

  ‘So, what’s Carl been up to since The Raiders disbanded?’

  ‘He’s a session pianist. Works with everyone you can think of, Rod Stewart, Eric Clapton, you name them and he’s probably played on their albums at some time or other. He misses the lads though and he’s looking forward to the band re-forming.’

  Cathy picked up a tray. ‘I’m all organised, see. Come on through to the lounge and get comfortable. You said you had something to ask me and I’m intrigued.’

  The lounge overlooked the large rear garden and Cathy invited Sally to sit on one of the two cream sofas placed either side of a marble fireplace.

  Sally gazed in awe around the tastefully furnished room, taking in the deep pile beige carpet and blue washed Chinese rug. She thought about the damp and squalid flat, with its threadbare carpets and hand me down furniture, that Eddie, Angie and their baby had been forced to live in. This house was a million miles away from those days and made Sally realise just what a lot her sister had missed out on. ‘You have a beautiful home, Cathy.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Cathy replied, pouring coffee into china mugs. She handed one to Sally. ‘It’s all down to Carl’s hard work.’

  ‘And no doubt your good taste in furnishings.’ Sally smiled at the poised and elegant woman who was fashionably clad in black linen trousers and a cream silk shirt. Her well cut, light brown hair fell neatly to her shoulders. There was a time when Cathy had been the plain girl, always in Angie’s shadow. How things change, Sally thought.

  She delved into her pocket and took out the photograph. She held it out to Cathy who smiled as she took it and looked at her late friend, Richard Price and the young Jonathon. She looked enquiringly at Sally.

  ‘I had a visitor last night,’ Sally told her.

  ‘Who?’

  ‘My nephew, Jonathon.’

  ‘Oh, I see. I saw him recently at Nick’s memorial service.’

  Sally nodded. ‘I hadn’t seen him for years. My dad died recently and Mum thought Jon should know.’

  ‘I’m sorry to hear that, Sally,’ Cathy said.

  ‘Kevin, my eldest, found out where Jon works and we got in touch. He didn’t make the funeral because of Nick and Jess’s accident. But he called me and came to visit last night.’

  ‘He’s made a smashing young man,’ Cathy said. ‘Angie would have been very proud of him.’

  ‘She would. He’s lovely. Tall and dark, not a bit like Eddie.’

  ‘He takes after Angie with his curls and everything,’ Cathy said. She took a sip of coffee.

  ‘That’s funny, Cathy, because I don’t think he looks anything like Angie.’

  Cathy frowned and chewed her thumbnail. She looked at the photograph again.

  ‘He does, a little bit.’

  ‘Take a really close look at Richard then look at Jon again.’

  Studying the photograph, Cathy wriggled uncomfortably.

  ‘Jon was three years old when that photo was taken,’ Sally said. ‘But there’s a definite resemblance even then, wouldn’t you agree? Now you saw him recently at Nick’s service, so you’re well aware of how he looks today. He’s the double of Richard Price.’

  Cathy’s eyes filled with tears and she walked across the room to stare out of the window.

  ‘Tell me, Cathy, please, is Jon, Richard’s son?’

  Cathy nodded. ‘Yes, he’s Richard’s.’

  Sally’s hand flew to her mouth. ‘I knew it.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Sally. It must be an awful shock to you.’

  ‘Why didn’t Angie tell me? How long have you known?’

  ‘Since he was born I suppose, even before. When Angie found out she was pregnant she didn’t know who the father was, but of course she blamed Eddie. He married her and Richard’s name was kept out of it.’

  Sally leant back on the sofa, speechless. She couldn’t believe her sister would be so deceptive. ‘So, when did she realise the baby wasn’t Eddie’s?’

  ‘As soon as he was born,’ Cathy said, sitting back down.

  ‘And she still led Eddie to believe it was his?’

  ‘Yes, Ed doted on Jon. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything to him.’

  ‘So all this time, Ed’s brought Jon up as his own, never realising he was someone else’s?’ Sally shook her head in disbelief.

  ‘Well, actually, no. There’s more, and it might be a bigger shock than what I’ve already told you,’ Cathy said.

  ‘I don’t think I can be anymore shocked than I am now, but go on.’

  ‘The police gave me back a camera Angie borrowed. It was in the car following the crash. It was undamaged, so I used up the film at Jess’s christening. I had the film developed and Carl looked through the photographs. He spotted the likeness between Jon and Richard immediately. He assumed Richard was your brother, Jon’s uncle. I couldn’t handle it any longer. I broke down and told Carl the truth. I was certain he may mention the likeness to Ed one day in passing and Ed of course knows you don’t have a brother. Carl was horrified and insisted I told Ed and Jane right away.’

  Sally nodded as Cathy continued.

  ‘We went to see them that night and I told them everything. They were devastated, but they couldn’t bear the thought of losing Jon. He was happy, settled in a lovely home and calling Jane, mummy. We made a pact never to tell a soul and we never have done, until now.’ Cathy broke down sobbing, while Sally sat silently, tears pouring down her cheeks.

  ‘Sally, I beg of you, don’t tell Jon. Can you imagine what the shock would do to him? I’ll have to let Eddie know that I’ve told you. The only other people who know are the Cantellos and the Davis’s. The eight of us were at Hanover’s Lodge the night the pact was made. It’s been the most closely guarded secret and not even Phil Jackson, the other Raider, knows.’

  Sally sat silently for a while, gathering her scattered thoughts. ‘Thank you, for being honest with me, Cathy. There’s no need to upset Eddie and Jane. I promise I’ll take the secret to the grave. Eddie’s been a wonderful father to a boy who’s not his own. I reckon he had enough to put up with when he married Angie in the first place. What with her moods and the stick my mother gave him, the man deserves a bloody medal. I just needed to know the truth for my own sake; otherwise, it would have eaten away at me for ever.’

  Cathy nodded tearfully. ‘I understand. Would you like more coffee?’

  ‘Please,’ Sally said, thinking Cathy might need a moment or two on her own. Left alone she gazed around the room, her eyes alighting on a framed colour photo in pride of place on the wall. The Raiders accepting an award. Sally leant forward to look at their smiling faces. Eddie looked so happy, his blue eyes shining brightly, standing next to a jubilant Roy, who held the award above his head. Eddie looked very different from the teenage tearaway who’d married her sister. There was no doubt in Sally’s mind that Angie would have denied him all the fame he’d achieved if they’d stayed together.

  As much as she’d loved Angie, Sally would be the first to admit that she’d been selfish and thoughtless to take away Eddie’s freedom. No matter how frightened Angie had been of telling their parents, what she’d done wa
s inexcusable, and to carry on the charade after Jon’s birth was unforgivable.

  Cathy arrived back with a fresh tray of coffee and sat down.

  ‘I knew one day it would all surface again,’ she began. ‘You can’t keep something like that a secret forever. But you have to understand how much Eddie loved Jon. To lose him to yourselves or maybe even Richard’s family, who were total strangers to Jon, was more than he could bear.’

  Sally nodded. ‘I understand. I just wish Angie had confided in me. I thought we were close in spite of our age difference.’

  ‘She was embarrassed and said you'd be really angry with her for getting into such a mess. The guilt made her withdraw from Eddie, and also he was still in love with Jane, so the marriage didn’t stand a chance.’

  ‘Poor kids, all of them,’ Sally said softly.

  ‘There’s one more thing. The day Angie and Richard died, they were going to tell Eddie that same night that Jon wasn’t his.’

  ‘I never thought I would ever hear myself say this, Cathy, but sometimes things happen for all the right reasons, if you know what I mean.’

  ‘I’ve thought that myself over the years. God moves in mysterious ways, as Carl’s mum’s always telling us.’

  ‘I’d better go home,’ Sally said. ‘I don’t want Mum or Martin to get wind of this. They’ll wonder where I am if I’m away any longer.’ She stood up, put her arms around Cathy and hugged her.

  ‘Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to tell Ed and Jane that you know?’ Cathy said.

  ‘There’s no point in causing them any upset. They’ve had enough to contend with recently with the accident. Thanks again for being honest with me. I’ll see you sometime soon I hope. Goodbye.’

  ***

  Roy leant back on his chair and frowned. He’d arrived at The Lodge earlier than planned. Eddie was still out on the school run and Jess had just asked him how he felt about the prospect of being a father again at his time of life. ‘Am I really that old in your eyes, Jess?’

  She shrugged. ‘Not old exactly, it’s just a bit of a shock, that’s all.’

  ‘Well it was to me as well. I still can’t quite get my head around it. I fainted when Sammy told me.’

  ‘Yeah, Dad said. Livvy thinks that you love her. Do you?’

  Roy lit a cigarette and took a long drag. ‘I do, in a way. I feel responsible for what happens to the baby.’

  ‘But you won’t ever divorce Sammy?’ Jess asked anxiously.

  ‘Never. I love her more than anything. She’s my life, my whole world,’ he replied.

  ‘Your Special Girl,’ Jess sang out.

  ‘Absolutely.’ Roy smiled, glad the mood was lightening. Jess’s questioning was making him feel decidedly uncomfortable.

  The back door flew open and Katie bounced into the kitchen. ‘Uncle Roy,’ she squealed and jumped onto his knee.

  He grimaced. ‘Careful, Katie, watch where you’re putting your knees!’ He tickled her and she squirmed and giggled.

  Eddie strolled in, carrying the bags, Dominic on his heels.

  ‘Katie, go and take off your uniform and hang it in the wardrobe. Don’t dump it on the floor like you did yesterday. I had to press her skirt this morning, all those bloody pleats,’ Eddie complained as Roy looked at him with an amused expression.

  ‘Don’t you laugh at me, you bastard! It’s hard work looking after kids and the home, and then there’s Jane demanding dinner on the table at six-thirty every night, and woe betide me if it’s not ready.’ Eddie rolled his eyes in a mock gesture of a put upon housewife and folded his arms below an imaginary bosom.

  Roy roared with laughter. ‘Ed, shut up! You look and sound just like your old mum.’

  Eddie grinned broadly. ‘Oh, heaven forbid. Jess, keep an eye on the kids for a while. Give them juice and biscuits when they come downstairs. We need to talk,’ he told Roy.

  ‘Why, what’s happened?’

  ‘Livvy,’ Eddie replied. ‘I’ll tell you in a minute. Come on, let’s go up.’

  Roy frowned and followed him up to the music room. He flopped down on a chair by the mixing desk. Eddie handed him a cigarette and lit one himself.

  ‘So, go on, what about Livvy?’

  ‘Well for starters she’s told Jon and Sean that you stayed the night at her place. I presume that means you screwed her again?’

  ‘I might have done.’

  ‘I’ll take that as a yes.’

  ‘Okay, yeah, I did. It was more to comfort her than anything. I went round to try and sort things out. Listen, Ed, before I go any further, I know that you tried to help and I appreciate what lay behind it. Thanks, mate, I owe you one.’

  ‘It’s okay. I never intended to interfere. At the end of the day I’m only interested in what happens to you and Sammy. I had a quick word with Livvy earlier and she said you were going to support her financially after the baby’s born.’

  ‘I haven’t a choice. If I help her voluntarily, then she’s less likely to sell her story for money.’

  ‘Good point. I know you’ve other problems as well. Jane told me about Jason and what’s going on there. But you need to be aware that Livvy’s convinced once she’s dropped it you’ll want to be with her and live as a proper family. She told Sean and Jon all this and Jon was concerned enough to call me.’

  ‘Bloody hell! I only ended up staying because she was so upset. I had a real go at her. She got into a state and told me to clear off. I tried to talk to her and I held her in my arms. I put my hands on her lump and felt protective. But I never made her any promises to be with her permanently and I told her I couldn’t marry her. I thought I’d made it clear. She’s obviously taken my TLC a bit too much to heart.’ Roy took a lengthy drag and coughed.

  ‘I won’t let Sammy down again. Ed. She’ll kill me if she finds out I spent the night with Livvy. That would be the last straw. She almost called the hotel, but fortunately she fell asleep. Things are going well now, just as long as I don’t blow it again. She’s going out with Stuart Green tonight for a meal and it really bothers me.’

  ‘Why? Jane told me their meeting was purely business.’

  Roy nodded. ‘Yeah, so she says. I was hoping she’d spend the night with me. It’s the last night she’ll have free before Pat and Tim arrive. Tomorrow she’ll be busy getting sorted and grocery shopping. Oh well, maybe she’ll find time for me next week’

  ‘You can live in hope, mate.’ Eddie patted his shoulder. ‘Eat with us tonight, if you like.’

  ‘Thanks, I will,’ Roy said. ‘It’ll help keep my mind off things.’

  ***

  Jon grinned when he saw Roy’s car on the drive and he wondered what he’d been up to this afternoon. ‘Hi, folks.’ He walked into the warm kitchen where his dad was slaving away over the AGA, making what smelt suspiciously like his special Bolognese sauce. Roy, Jane and Jess were seated around the table knocking back red wine. Jon took a seat next to Jess and let his knee touch her leg. She responded with gentle pressure and smiled at him.

  ‘Hi, love,’ Jane said. ‘Would you like a glass of wine?’

  ‘Please, Mum.’

  Jane pushed a glass and the bottle across the table. ‘Help yourself. Had a good day?’

  ‘Fine thanks. Did Dad tell you Sally rang for Cathy’s number?’

  ‘He did.’ Jane caught Roy’s raised eyebrow. ‘Did Sally say why she wanted to speak to Cathy?’

  ‘Yeah. Grandma wants to see her before she goes home.’

  ‘I see. I believe you and Jess are going out with Jason later.’

  Jon nodded. ‘We haven’t seen him socially for weeks now and it’ll be good to get out.’

  ‘Hmm. You’ve been cooped up in Jess’s bedroom for so long you’ll take root,’ Jane said.

  ‘I’ll go and get changed before we eat, save me doing it later.’ Jess struggled off the chair.

  Jon sprang immediately to her aid. ‘I’ll carry you.’ He scooped her up in his arms and walked out of the kitchen.


  ***

  Jane stared after them, biting her lower lip.

  ‘Something wrong, Jane?’ Roy asked.

  She shook her head. ‘I hope Jon doesn’t give himself a hernia, carrying Jess upstairs like that.’

  Eddie turned from the AGA. ‘She’s light as a feather and a big lad like Jon won’t strain himself.’

  ‘You’re right, of course.’ Jane swallowed the last of her wine and opened another bottle, pushing unbidden thoughts away.

  ***

  Puffing slightly, Jon made his way into Jess’s room, kicked the door shut with his foot and sat her on the bed. ‘Good job that door was open,’ he said and knelt in front of her. Taking her face in his hands he kissed her. She put her arms around his neck, returning his kisses with fervour. He looked at her, eyes burning deep into hers. ‘You tell me that didn’t feel right and I’ll never do it again.’

  Jess smiled and stroked his cheek. ‘It was perfect, so very right in fact. Oh God, but it’s not, is it?’

  ‘I’m falling in love with you, Jess.’ Before Jon could say more a knock at the door made them jump apart.

  Jane popped her head in and frowned at their flushed faces. ‘Are you two okay?’

  ‘Fine, Mum thanks. I banged my wrist on the headboard when Jon put me down and he was rubbing it better for me. It’s made me feel sick and it’s upset Jon ’cos he thinks it was his fault.’

  Jess plucked the lie from somewhere and Jon hoped she sounded convincing.

  ‘Oh dear, let me have a look. Do you want a couple of your pain killers?’

  ‘No I’m okay, Mum, really,’ Jess insisted. ‘You can help me get changed if you will, save me struggling alone.’ She smiled at Jon. ‘Thanks for carrying me upstairs.’

  He took the hint. ‘I’ll take a shower.’

  ***

  ‘What do you fancy wearing?’ Jane opened the wardrobe and looked at the vast array of clothes.

  ‘I’ve got new sweaters in that bag over there,’ Jess said.

  Jane rummaged in the bag and pulled out a short, blue and grey striped cotton sweater with long sleeves. ‘This one’s nice? What else did you buy?’