'Til I Kissed You

by Pam Howes

  ‘Well I don’t remember.’ He looked blankly at her.

  ‘Oh, you’re getting old, Roy! Your memory isn’t what it used to be.’ She turned and walked away, hat brim quivering

  ‘For God’s sake, what’s this obsession with my age? I’m forty-three, Ma, not eighty-three,’ he yelled after her. ‘She’s doo-lally half the time and that bloody hat looks like a flying saucer’s landed on her head.’

  ‘Uncle Roy, Jess wants you,’ Katie called out to him.

  He excused himself and joined Katie by the marquee entrance. ‘Where is she?’

  ‘In the kitchen.’ She pointed to the house and ran back to Abby, Zak and Matt.

  ***

  Roy frowned as he walked into the house, wondering why Jess was indoors. She was by the kitchen dresser, holding the phone.

  ‘You okay, Jess?’

  ‘Close the door, quickly.’

  He nodded, shutting it behind him. ‘What is it, you look worried to death?’ he asked as she covered the mouthpiece with her hands.

  ‘It’s Livvy; she wants to talk to you.’

  ‘Shit!’ he muttered. ‘What does she want?’

  Jess shook her head, close to tears. ‘She wants to know how the baby is, of course. What else can you expect, Roy?’

  He puffed out his cheeks and took the phone. He sat down on a nearby chair, his stomach lurching and hands shaking. He took a deep breath. ‘Hello, Livvy, what can I do for you?’

  ‘Roy, hi. I’m sorry to call, but I really couldn’t help myself. I got Sammy’s letter with the photos this week. She mentioned the joint christenings were today, so I guessed you’d all be at Eddie’s place. How’s our daughter?’

  Roy swallowed the lump in his throat and passed his hand over his eyes as they filled with sudden tears. ‘She’s fine, Livvy,’ he replied. ‘She’s beautiful. Well you can see that from the photos, can’t you? How about you? Are you okay?’ There was a silence and Roy could hear her sniffing as tears tumbled down his cheeks.

  ‘I’m okay, Roy. I’ve met up with Danny again, I told you in my letter. He’s asked me to marry him and wants us to move to The States.’

  Roy felt his stomach roll at the thoughts of another man screwing her. He took another deep breath as she continued.

  ‘I told Danny about Harley and that’s she’s been adopted by a wealthy couple. I didn’t tell him who, of course. I never will.’

  ‘Have you told Danny that you’ll marry him?’ he asked, feeling sick inside.

  ‘I said I’ll think about it. Before I give him my answer, I need to ask you a question.’

  ‘Ask away.’

  ‘Are you still happy with Sammy? I mean, really happy, Roy?’

  He looked down at the floor. There was no choice here. He smiled into the receiver, swallowed hard and bravely let go of the past. ‘Yes, Livvy,’ he said. ‘I’m very happy, very happy indeed.’

  There was silence for a moment. ‘That’s all I needed to hear. It sets me free to move on.’

  ‘I wish you all the luck in the world,’ he replied. ‘Be happy yourself, won’t you? I’m sorry for the pain I caused you and I can’t thank you enough for Harley. I’ll never forget you, Livvy.’

  ‘Look after her, Roy. I certainly won’t forget you in a hurry,’ she replied, before saying goodbye.

  Roy dashed away tears again as Jess replaced the phone on its cradle.

  ‘Are you okay?’ She touched a hand to his shoulder, blinking back her own tears.

  ‘Yes thanks, Jess,’ he replied. ‘Can we keep this to ourselves? For obvious reasons I don’t want Sammy to know she called.’

  Jess nodded. ‘Of course we can. Was she alright?’

  ‘I guess so.’ He told her what Livvy had said.

  ‘Well, I hope she’ll be very happy. But somehow I think it will take her a lifetime to get over you and you a very long time to get over her.’

  He nodded. ‘I really did love her you know, Jess. It wasn’t just a fling. If she’d chosen to stay around and keep Harley, I think it’s unlikely that I would have been able to stay with Sammy. But Sammy must never know that, it would break her heart. My love for her is on a different level to the love I feel for Livvy.’

  Jess nodded. ‘I understand what you’re saying because of my relationships with Jon and Nick. It’s funny how things turn out. I always thought you and Sammy would be my parents-in-law one day. Instead, my own parents will now be my in-laws and I don’t even have to change my name. How weird is that?’

  Roy smiled and took Jess’s arm as they made their way back to the party. ‘We’ve always been a bunch of weirdo’s, you ask my Ma! Why change the habits of a lifetime? You’ve quite taken to this motherhood lark, haven’t you, Jess? From wild rock chick to almost tame mother in less than a year. Who’d have thought it?’

  ‘Hey, the almost tame mother bit is just a temporary measure. You wait until we start our new band and I’m back in my leather jeans again. I’ll show you, I’m no stay at home mum. And another thing, you’ll never catch me wearing a daft hat like the one your mother’s trying to decapitate Carl with!’

  Roy chuckled. ‘She’s a bloody liability with that hat. There’ll be no Raiders left at this rate. She’s already attacked Phil with it.

  Sammy walked up the garden with Jon to greet Roy and Jess as they strolled arm in arm, laughing. ‘Hello, you two, you look very chummy. Everything alright?’

  Roy nodded, taking her hand. ‘Everything’s just fine, Sam. Better than it’s been for a long, long time,’ he replied as Jess moved into Jon’s outstretched arms.

  ‘Good,’ Sammy said, smiling at him. ‘That’s just what I need to hear.’

  TO BE CONTINUED

  THE FINAL PART OF THE TRILOGY DUE FOR PUBLICATION LATE 2011:

  ALWAYS ON MY MIND:

  It's almost 16 years since Livvy Grant gave her five day old daughter Harley to the baby's father, rock musician Roy Cantello and his wife Sammy to bring up as their own. Now Livvy is coming home to seek out her daughter and former lover...

  BY THE SAME AUTHOR:

  THREE STEPS TO HEAVEN.

  It's 1961 and Eddie Mellor and Jane Wilson are in love. Eddie's group, The Raiders, is about to make it big. They have the world at their feet and an exciting future to look forward to. Then in walks Angie Turner...

  The first novel in a trilogy about The Raiders, spanning 40 years. ISBN 9781907461989