Love & Lies

by Jessica Wood

  “I love the way you laugh. It’s contagious.”

  I smiled back at him. So many thoughts and emotions whirled inside, and against all reason, I felt myself let down my walls. “Can I admit something?”

  “Sure.” He leaned in from across the table and placed his hands on mine. My breath caught and I felt my heart pound violently against my chest.

  I look a deep breath. “So you probably know that I agreed on meeting you for dinner tonight because I was trying to get you off my back. I wanted to try to convince you that what happened between us was a mistake and that it’d never happen again. I needed you to believe me, and I thought getting the chance to sit down with you in a public place would give us a chance to talk things through.”

  He laughed. “I had a feeling that was the case.” He then paused and licked his lips. “And has that changed?” There was a seductive smirk on his lips as his fingers moved slowly up and down my hands, causing every hair on my arms to stand up in excitement.

  I nodded, unable to speak. All I could concentrate on was how turned on I was by his simple touch.

  “So what do you think now?”

  “I…I don’t know.” I looked down and broke our eye contact, unable to think when I looked into his eyes. “I think you’re an interesting person. And…”

  “Interesting enough to date?” He intertwined his fingers with mine and began to seductively massage my palms with his thumbs.

  At that moment, I couldn’t speak. I could barely think. All I could do was nod. My chest heaved at the intense pleasure of his rough thumbs circling rhythmically against my skin. I wished we were alone in this restaurant. I wished he hadn’t made that promise to me. I wished this wasn’t just a dinner.

  “I’m taking you back to my place tonight.”

  My eyes widened as I saw the hunger burning in his eyes.

  “I…we shouldn’t,” said the small part of me that was still resisting his charm.

  Suddenly, I felt his legs go between mine from under the table, and I gasped when he spread them apart with one swift movement.

  The couple at the neighboring table looked over with a confused look. Ben turned to smile at them before looking back at me.

  “I’m taking you back now.”

  “Okay,” I finally gave in.

  Ben pulled out his wallet and threw some money down before pulling me from my seat and leading me out the door.

  In the few minutes it took us to walk to his car, I felt a surge of anxiety and excitement course through me as I thought about what was about to happen. I knew that sleeping with my lawyer could get me in a lot of trouble, but I felt like I was in too deep and there was no turning back. We’d already slept together, so why cry over spilt milk?

  When we got to his car, I knew I couldn’t wait any longer. I opened the door to his back seat and pulled him in with me.

  “I need you now,” I begged as I lay against the cool leather seats.

  “I’ve been waiting for you to say that all night, baby.” He pulled down his pants and boxers, and his erection sprung out to greet me.

  I gasped in pleasure as he led my hand to his cock.

  “Can you feel how much I’ve been waiting to be inside of you?”

  “Yes! And I want you inside me now, Ben. I want you to make love to me now.”

  Suddenly I felt his body stiffen and his expression changed. Instead of climbing on top of me, he pulled his pants up and turned his back to me.

  “What’s wrong?”

  There was a long pause before he turned back to me. “I made a promise to you. We shouldn’t do this tonight.”

  “Oh.” I tried to hide the disappointment and rejection I felt inside.

  “I do want to see you again,” he added abruptly. I heard a reluctance in his voice, and I wonder what had just happened. “Come on. Get in the front seat. Let me take you home.”

  “Okay.” I was relieved that it was dark out and he couldn’t see how red my face was at that moment.

  Fifteen minutes later, he pulled up in front of my row house. To my surprise, he turned off the engine and turned to look at me.

  “I’m sorry.” I heard the sincerity in his voice, which only added to the confusion that was building up inside.

  “Why are you sorry?”

  “I let things get too far tonight…I led you on.”

  There was a pause as I tried to think through my confusion.

  “That’s okay. I encouraged you.”

  He gave a small chuckle. “I instigated it.”

  “Can I ask you something?” I looked at him tentatively.

  “Sure. What is it?”

  “Why are you still single?”

  “I like being single,” he said immediately. I saw him tense up, and knew I shouldn’t have asked him that.

  “Oh. So—”

  “Hey, can I ask you something?” he cut in abruptly.

  “Uh. Sure.”

  “What’s the deal with you and your brother?”

  “Oh!” His question caught me by surprise. It was the last thing I thought he was about to ask. “You mean Trent? Why do you ask?”

  There was a brief pause before he said, “No real reason. I was just curious. I saw your interaction with each other at the meeting a few weeks ago, and I didn’t get the sense that you two are close. With you two working together every day, I thought you’d have a closer relationship.”

  “I…” I was a bit surprised by his forward question, and even more surprised by his intuitiveness in seeing the distance between me and Trent.

  I was about to tell him that it was none of his business, but when I looked over at him, I saw something in his eyes that comforted me, and I wasn’t sure why, but I felt compelled to tell him about Trent.

  “He’s my half brother. We share the same father but had different mothers. A few years after our father’s divorce from Trent’s mother, he married my mother and I was born a few years later. Trent and I were pretty close growing up, but ever since his mother passed away last year, he’s been very distant. Our father lived with me and my mother and not with Trent and his mother. So his mother was probably the most important person in his life. I can’t imagine how much pain he must have gone through when she died suddenly. But ever since her passing, his grief seemed to change him completely, and we’re no longer close like we used to be.”

  “I see. How do you like working with him?”

  I frowned, unsure of why Ben took interest in my relationship with Trent.

  “I’m not going to lie. It’s a bit strained at work. But I think he’s just trying to be a good acting CEO, so he tries to treat me like any of the other employees. Neither of us expected our new positions at Parker, Inc. But with our father’s sudden stroke, we both had to step up and manage the company. So he took over our father’s responsibilities, and I took over Trent’s old ones. I’m really hoping that with all the extra time we spend together at work, we can somehow mend our relationship.”

  I looked over at Ben and noticed him deep in thought.

  “Why do you ask?”

  “Huh?” He looked at me and I saw a flicker in his eyes that left me feeling uneasy.

  “Why are you curious about me and Trent?”

  “Oh. Um. No reason. I just have a feeling I’ll be working with you two a lot in the future, so I wanted to get a little bit of your backgrounds.” He flashed me a smile. “Nothing to worry about.”

  “Okay.”

  He leaned over and kissed me on my cheek. “Well. Good night. I had a nice dinner with you. I’d like to see you again.”

  “I’ll think about it.” I got out of the car and turned back to look at him. He smiled up at me and waved before driving off. I wasn’t sure why, but I had a feeling that there was something he wasn’t telling me. Something told me that there were secrets about him that I haven’t yet figured out.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Ben

  Nine Years Ago

  A wide grin was freeze-f
ramed on my face during the entire one-hour flight from San Francisco to Los Angeles. It was Thanksgiving Day weekend, and I’d been anxiously waiting and planning for this weekend for the last few months.

  I smiled at the thought of finally holding Katherine in my arms and kissing her. It had been a busy semester of school for her, and I hadn’t seen her since the start of the fall semester three months ago. She said she was going to be swamped preparing for finals during this holiday weekend, so we hadn’t made plans to see each other during the break.

  But I had a surprise for her. A big surprise.

  I realized in the last three months we were apart that we’d been together for more than four years, and it was the right thing to do for me to take the next step in our relationship. She was my first serious relationship, my first love, and my first lover. It felt right that she should be the future Mrs. Chase.

  I touched the breast pocket of my blazer where the box was and tried to breathe as anxiety crashed through me. I heard about how nerve-racking proposing to someone could be, but I never thought it’d feel like this. I had excited nerves running through me but I also felt sick to my stomach.

  This was the natural next step in our relationship. This is probably what she’s been waiting for, I continued to reassure myself as I got off the plane.

  When I collected my luggage at baggage claim, I called her cell phone to surprise her and to see where she was at so I could tell the taxi where to go. But after a few rings, I only got her voicemail.

  I tried again. Nothing.

  Then I texted her and told her to call me back as soon as she could.

  After fifteen minutes, she still hadn’t texted or called back.

  “Shit, she must be studying somewhere.” She’d often become unreachable when she studying in the library and had her phone on silent.

  I paced back and forth as I waited for her to call me back. Then I remembered I had the number to her landline in her apartment from a while back. I pulled up that number and dialed it. After two rings, I heard a click and a female voice answered on the other end.

  But it wasn’t Katherine’s voice.

  “Is Katherine there?”

  “Katherine?” I heard the confusion in her question and I immediately checked my phone to make sure I dialed the right number.

  “Yes. Katherine Fox. Aren’t you her roommate?”

  “Um, I was her roommate, but not anymore.”

  “What? What do you mean not anymore? Did you move out?”

  “Me? What are you talking about? No, I didn’t move out. Katherine did when she moved away. Like at the beginning of the semester. She transferred schools.”

  My mind whirled at her words. “What do you mean transferred schools? She didn’t mention this to me! Where did she go?”

  “She transferred to San Francisco State University in SF so that she could to be closer to her boyfriend who’s at UC Berkeley.”

  “What? She did?” Anxiety began to spread through me as I tried to comprehend what this could all mean.

  There was a long pause before she finally spoke. “Who is this again?”

  “It’s Ben. Katherine’s boyfriend.”

  “Um. I’m sorry, but maybe you have the wrong number.” There was hesitation in her voice, increasing my anxiousness.

  “No, I don’t have the wrong number. This is—or was—Katherine’s number. Why the hell would you say I have the wrong number?” I felt my nerves bubbling up inside me.

  “Because her boyfriend’s name isn’t Ben,” she replied matter-of-factly.

  My body froze and my stomach twisted uncomfortably as I tried to digest her words.

  “Hello? Are you still there?” she asked after a few seconds of silence.

  “What’s her boyfriend’s name if it isn’t Ben?”

  “It’s really none of your business, but if you really must know, it’s Gibson.”

  Gibson? My fraternity brother? Could it be the same Gibson?

  “And you said he goes to Berkeley?”

  “Yeah. They were dating long distance for about six months before she moved. She said she couldn’t stand only seeing him twice a month.”

  “They saw each other twice a month?” At this point, fury overtook the shock that consumed every fiber in my body.

  “Yeah.” She giggled, completely oblivious to my shock. “They’re so into each other, it’s pretty cute. They alternate their visits with each other so they can see each other every two weeks.”

  I drew in a deep breath, trying to stay calm so that I could think through everything she’d said. “So you’ve met him before?”

  “Yeah, of course. Pretty much once a month when she was my roommate. That’s why I’m sure you’ve got the wrong number because her boyfriend’s name isn’t Ben. It’s definitely Gibson.”

  “Right.” That was all I could utter without lashing out my anger at her.

  “Okay, well, I gotta go. I hope you find the right number—“

  “Wait!” I stopped her before she hung up, knowing that I needed to ask her one more question. “Is this Gibson about six feet two with blonde hair and green eyes?”

  “Yeah! How’d you know?”

  “Lucky guess. Thanks for your help. Bye.” I hung up on her before she could ask me any more questions.

  I stood motionless outside the arrivals area of the airport for another fifteen minutes, stunned by this new revelation. The box inside my breast pocket felt heavy and painfully hot against my chest. Rage and pain overtook my every thought. She’s been dating my fraternity brother and close friend right underneath my nose. She’s been living in San Francisco for the last six months without even telling me.

  Just then my phone started to ring. It was Katherine.

  My body stiffened as I answered the phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, baby. I saw that I missed your call. What’s up?”

  I took a deep breath and steadied myself before responding. “Nothing much. Just wanted to call and say hi and see what you’re up to.”

  “Oh. Just studying. The usual, you know?”

  “Where are you?”

  “Just at the library.” There was a hint of hesitation in her voice.

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Yup.” There was a pause and then I thought I heard a muffled giggle. “So what are you up to?”

  “I’m on my way to the library to see you,” I lied.

  There was silence on her end.

  “I’ll be there in five minutes,” I added.

  “Wait, you’re in LA?” she finally asked.

  “Yeah, I’m here. I wanted to surprise you.” I felt my blood boil over at how stupid I’d been for not seeing the signs.

  “W—why, I mean what are you doing in LA?”

  “I wanted to see you. Isn’t that enough of a reason?” I challenged.

  “Uh. Yeah, of course, but…”

  “But what?”

  “I’m…I’m not in LA.”

  My jaws tightened as I heard the truth come out of her mouth.

  “Where the hell are you then?” I heard her inhale sharply when she heard the harsh tone in my voice.

  “What do you mean?”

  Her fake innocence grated against my waning patience.

  “I spoke to your old roommate in LA. She told me everything.”

  There was a long stretch of silence and I heard a distant muffled conversation in the background.

  “Cut the fucking crap, Katherine! Tell me the truth!” I felt myself snap as I gave in to the rage that engulfed me.

  “Do you really want to know the truth?” Her calm and casual tone fueled my anger.

  “Yes, I’d would like to know the fucking truth,” I barked back at her.

  “Well, finally. You’re finally being an asshole.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  She sighed as if I was the last person on Earth who didn’t get the joke. “You’ve always been too nice. Too accommodating. Too
blah! We’ve never argued, and you’ve never gotten mad at me, even when I’ve done things or acted in a way where you should have.”

  “That’s because I love—loved you!”

  She snorted. “Who are we kidding? You still love me, but right now, you’re just too fucking hurt to admit it. I’m sorry, Ben. I know I’m being a royal bitch right now, but I really just couldn’t hold back my feelings for other men anymore—men who had some balls, who showed some manly emotions. What I’ve been waiting for and craving all through our relationship was for you to push me up against the wall, ignore my resistance, and fuck the shit out of me. I want a strong, aggressive man who can take control. I want passion! And let’s face it, that’s the one thing you’re missing.”

  “So you decide to fuck my friend? My frat brother?” I spat out.

  “We’re not just fucking! We’re in love. Can you accept that?”

  “No, of course I can’t fucking accept that! Are you serious?”

  I heard her sigh as if I was being unreasonable. “Look, Ben. Can I be honest with you?”

  “Well, that’d be a refreshing change. Sure, why don’t you tell me how you really feel?” I felt bitter and vengeful for the way she’d treated me.

  “Ben, I think deep down, you know we’re not right for each other. We want different things, and our personalities clash. I know we’ve been together for a long time, and in the beginning, we did love each other. But in the last year or so in college, I feel like we’ve drifted apart. I think we’re both changing and growing up, and ultimately we want different things. Look, I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you. I’m sorry that Gibson is your fraternity brother. But I’m not sorry that I fell in love with him.”

  “Do you seriously think this is making me feel better?”

  She sighed again. “Look, I’ve learned one thing through all this. Ben, sometimes the most important things in life will happen when you least expect it. So who knows, maybe someday you’ll meet the most important person in your life on some seemingly ordinary day without even knowing it. I mean, that’s what happened to me when I met Gibson. I wasn’t seeking him out or looking for another relationship. But it just happened.”

  Her words stung me more than I could bear. “Shut the fuck up, Katherine! Just shut the fuck up.”