Say What?
670 Quotes That Should Never Have Been Said
Doreen Chila-Jones
“Say What”
A term used when a person wishes for a surprising or astonishing statement to be repeated, or simply to show their surprise at said statement.
—Urban Dictionary.com
Contents
1. Impertinent Political Pundits
2. Animated Anarchy
3. Salty Celebrities
4. Pious Impertinence
5. Trifling Duo TV & Movies
6. Sporty Spoofs
7. Miscellaneous Thinkers & Creative Types
8. Caustic, Crazy & Cutting Criminals
9. Blunt Business Tycoons
Index
Impertinent
Political Pundits
“Polls are for strippers and cross-country skiers.”
—Sarah Palin
“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
—Former U.S. vice president Al Gore
“I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.”
“It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.”
“I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.”
—Former U.S. vice president Dan Quayle
“I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”
—Arnold Schwarzenegger
“I am not a crook.”
—President Richard Nixon
“It certainly doesn’t look familiar to me, but I don’t want to say with certitude to you something that I don’t know to be the certain truth.”
“This is not a national security matter. We’re not making a federal case out of this... I’m not sure it rises—no pun intended—to that level.”
“I was perhaps, forgive me, a little stiff yesterday.”
—Former congressman Anthony Weiner
“I’ve looked on a lot of women with lust. I’ve committed adultery in my heart many times.”
—President Jimmy Carter, Playboy magazine
“Life is indeed precious, and I believe the death penalty helps affirm this fact.”
—Former New York City mayor Edward Koch
“I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.”
—Former New York City mayor David Dinkins
“Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”
—Former Washington, D.C., mayor Marion Barry
“Reports that say something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns—the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”
—Former U.S. defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld
“You know the one thing that’s wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say.”
“I never had sexual relations with that woman.”
“That depends on what the meaning of ‘is’ is.”
“A few years ago, this guy would have been getting us coffee.” (speaking about Barack Obama)
“African Americans watch the same news at night that ordinary Americans do.”
“When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn’t like it. I didn’t inhale and never tried it again.”
—President Bill Clinton
“If I didn’t kick his ass every day, he wouldn’t be worth anything.”
—Hillary Clinton, on Bill Clinton
“When the president does it, that means that it is not illegal.”
“You know, I always wondered about that taping equipment but I’m damn glad we have it, aren’t you?”
—President Richard Nixon
“The world is more like it is now than it ever has been before.”
—President Dwight Eisenhower
“A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money.”
—Former congressman Everett Dirksen
“A guy comes in and puts a gun in my ribs. And I just said, ‘I believe that you want the guy behind the counter.’”
—Presidential candidate Ben Carson
“I’ve now been in 48 states—I think one left to go.”
—President Barack Obama
“Believe me, as a busy single mother…er, I shouldn’t say single. When you have a husband who’s president it can feel a little single…but he’s there.”
—First Lady Michelle Obama
“The very first essential for success is a perpetually constant and regular employment of violence.”
“What luck for rulers that men do not think.”
“If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.”
“It is not the truth that matters, but victory.”
—Adolf Hitler
“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.”
—Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC instructor
“Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, ‘Thank God, I’m still alive.’ But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.”
—Former California senator Barbara Boxer
“You know what I heard…that it’s not black on black crime that’s killing kids in Chicago, it’s actually cops shooting those kids.”
—Monique Davis, Chicago Democrat
“Men often do need maternity care.”
—President Obama’s Health and Human Services chief Kathleen Sebelius
“We have every mixture you can have. I have a black, a woman, two Jews and a cripple. And we have talent.”
—James Watt, secretary of the Interior, Reagan administration
“They’re coming after your doughnuts!”
—Kentucky senator Rand Paul
“I have to confess that it’s crossed my mind that you could not be a Republican and a Christian.”
—Hillary Clinton
“It had to do with Cuba and missiles, I’m pretty sure.”
—White House press secretary DanaPerino, admitting she had never heard of the Cuban Missile Crisis
“There is a mandate to impose a voluntary return to traditional values.”
“Facts are stupid things.”
“Well, I learned a lot…I went down to [Latin America] to find out from them and [learn] their views. You’d be surprised. They’re all individual countries.”
—President Ronald Reagan
“If Abraham Lincoln was alive today he would roll over in his grave.”
—President Gerald Ford
“Number one, I have great respect for women. I was the one that really broke the glass ceiling on behalf of women, more than anybody in the construction industry.”
“You know it really doesn’t matter what they write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.”
“Grab ’em by the pussy.”
“Look at that face. Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president? I mean, she’s a woman, and I’m not s’posedta say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?” (speaking about presidential candidate Carly Fiorina)
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��I would bomb the sh*t out of them.”
—Presidential candidate Donald Trump
“You may have seen I recently launched a Snapchat account. I love it. I love it. Those messages disappear all by themselves.”
—Hillary Clinton
“We should replace bilingual education with immersion in English so people learn the common language of the country and they learn the language of prosperity, not the language of living in a ghetto.”
“Give the park police more ammo.” (explaining what to do about the homeless problem a few days after the police shot and killed a homeless person in front of the White House)
“She isn’t young enough or pretty enough to be the President’s wife.” (speaking of his ex-wife)
—Newt Gingrich, Former Speaker of the House
“I think Assad’s invasion of Syria will be seen as a blunder.”
—Presidential candidate Martin O’Malley (Bashar al-Assad is, in fact, the president of Syria.)
“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”
“Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.” (speaking at his last G-8 Summit)
“Are you going to ask that question with shades on?” (talking to a blind reporter)
—President George W. Bush
“When we create diversity programs that include everyone, quote, ‘of color,’ other than whites, struggling whites like the families in the Appalachian mountains, we’re not being true to the Democratic Party principles.”
—Former U.S. senator James Webb
“We’d like to avoid problems, because when we have problems, we can have troubles.”
—Wesley Bolin, former governor of Arizona
“Now, they’re saying I groped a male staffer. Yes, I did. Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn’t breathe and four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday.”
—Eric Massa, former congressman
“Guess what this liberal would be all about? This liberal will be about socializing...uh, um...Would be about, basically, taking over, and the government running all of your companies.”
—Maxine Waters, congresswoman, on socialism
“You’re not a member of the Taliban, are you?”
—Chuck Hagel, former secretary of defense, taking a question from Robin Gandhi, a man of Indian descent
“The almighty certainly never intended that people should travel at such breakneck speed.”
—President Martin Van Buren, referring to new trains that could travel at 15 mph
“A nation of spaghetti eaters cannot restore Roman civilization!”
“Let us have a dagger between our teeth, a bomb in our hand, and an infinite scorn in our hearts.”
“Three cheers for war, noble and beautiful above all.”
—Benito Mussolini
“I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don’t always agree with them.”
—President George H.W. Bush
“So?”
—Former vice president Dick Cheney, when asked his opinion of a recent poll showing that most Americans didn’t believe the Iraq War was worth fighting
“The honorable Member is living proof that a pig’s bladder on a stick can be elected to Parliament.”
—Tony Banks, Labour Party member of Parliament on Tory MP Terry Dicks
“I do think there are certain times we should infringe on your freedom.”
—Former New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg
“White folks was in the caves while we [blacks] was building empires…We built pyramids before Donald Trump ever knew what architecture was…we taught philosophy and astrology and mathematics before Socrates and them Greek homos ever got around to it.”
—Civil rights activist Al Sharpton
“Any negative polls are fake news, just like the CNN, ABC, NBC polls in the election. Sorry, people want border security and extreme vetting.”
“Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Love!”
“Meryl Streep, one of the most over-rated actresses in Hollywood, doesn’t know me
but attacked last night at the Golden Globes. She is a Hillary flunky who lost big. For the 100th time, I never ‘mocked’ a disabled reporter (would never do that) but simply showed him ‘groveling’ when he totally changed a 16 year old story that he had written in order to make me look bad. Just more very dishonest media!”
—President Donald Trump
“Our great African-American President hasn’t exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore.”
“It’s freezing and snowing in New York—we need global warming!”
“My IQ is one of the highest—and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault.”
“My Twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth.”
—Presidential candidate Donald Trump
“It’s doubtful Russia will be invading Alaska anytime soon considering Russia cared so little about Alaska they sold it for 2 cents an acre. Come to think of it, with our current economic crisis, maybe we should just sell it back. It could be America’s equivalent of selling all the DVDs you never watch on eBay to make some extra bucks after you’ve lost your job.”
—Vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin
“Sometimes people mistake the way I talk for what I am thinking.”
“It’s not for me. I tried human flesh and it’s too salty for my taste.”
—Idi Amin Dada, former Ugandan president
“If you early voted, go vote again tomorrow. One more time’s not going to hurt. Tomor-row we’re going to elect [Democrat] Earl Tayor as [district attorney], so he won’t prosecute you if you vote twice.”
—Don Cravins, mayor of Opelousas, Louisiana
“Death solves all problems—no man, no problem.”
“It is enough that the people know there was an election. The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything.”
“I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant, and indifferent to the quality of food they eat.”
—Joseph Stalin
“A zebra does not change its spots.”
“During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.”
—Former vice president Al Gore
“These are ammunition, they’re bullets, so the people who have those now, they’re going to shoot them, so if you ban them in the future, the number of these high-capacity magazines is going to decrease dramatically over time because the bullets will have been shot and there won’t be any more available.”
—Diana DeGette, representative from Colorado, speaking about pistol or rifle ammo magazines, which can actually be used over and over again
“I mean you’ve got the first sort of mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and nice-looking guy.” (speaking about Barack Obama)
“A man I’m proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States—Barack America!”
“Stand up...Chuck, stand up, Chuck, let ‘em see you!” (speaking to Missouri state senator Chuck Graham, who is wheelchair bound)
“You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking!”
“Folks, I can tell you I’ve known eight presidents, three of them intimately.”
—Joe Biden, vice president during the Obama administration
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��I never took a position on Keystone until I took a position on Keystone.”
—Hillary Clinton
“In about 18 months from now, hopefully [Senator Vincent Sheheen] will have sent Nikki Haley back to wherever the hell she came from and this country can move forward.”
—Dick Harpootlian, former South Carolina Democratic Party chairman, referring to Governor Nikki Haley’s Indian heritage
“You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”
—Former secretary of state John Kerry, speaking to the troops
“Jews should get the hell out of Palestine and go home [to Germany and Poland].”
—White House reporter Helen Thomas
“Spying has always gone on since ancient times.”
“Nobody should have any illusion about the possibility of gaining military superiority over Russia. We will never allow this to happen.”
“You must obey the law, always, not only when they grab you by your special place.”
“I find it hard to believe that he rushed to some hotel to meet girls of loose morals, although ours are undoubtedly the best in the world.” (talking about unsubstantiated accounts of some devious activities by Donald Trump during trips to Russia)
—Vladimir Putin
“We’ll be deprived of women’s beauty, because they’ll be covered from head to toe…unfaithful women will be stoned and thieves will have their hands cut off. Women covering their face would mean an improvement for some, but there are few of them and I cannot see any such here.”
—Miloš Zeman, Czech president, speaking about female Muslim immigrants
“The Europe of today cannot be reformed in my opinion, there’s nothing to be reformed in Brussels. It’s run by a group of people who hate the Italian people and economy in particular.”
Say What? Page 1