Sophie's Throughway

by Jules Smith

  “Oh, Soph…” he groaned. He reached round to the back of my dress and undid the zip inch by inch as we both stared wantonly at each other. His soulful blue eyes now looked more needy and the same navy blue colour of his suit. I took a sharp intake of breath as he pulled the dress from my shoulders and let the material fall in folds at my elbows. I could feel my heart beating in every part of my body.

  “Oh my God…” I whispered as I gazed upon his parted lips. He stared down at me and I could feel his breath, hot on my face as he drank me in.

  Chapter 21

  I woke up with a start just before my alarm went off and for a split second I felt normal. Then it all came back to me in a nasty flash and I felt like a slovenly whore. Jesus Christ, I slept with my boss. I sat up in bed and tried to collect my thoughts which proved extremely difficult in my hungover state.

  “Oh.My.God.” I kept repeating out loud as remnants of the evening came flooding back to me. How the hell was I going to deal with going to work today? What a hideous nightmare. I remembered it being well past 2.30 am when I’d finally got home. Colin had insisted on riding back with me in the cab to make sure I got there safely, which was nice of him. As I’d made to get out the car he’d pulled me back and kissed me long and slow, not giving a toss about the waiting taxi driver. I remembered hoping that Brendon wasn’t still up as he would have gone spare if he’d seen me with another bloke. As far as he was concerned my role was ‘Mother to Brendon – end of story.’ I was surprised he hadn’t rang me, that was most unusual, but he’d left every single light in the house on like normal. I’d tiptoed around the various rooms switching off lights and closing doors, trying not to fall over and then deliberately falling into my welcoming bed with a stupid smile on my face. Next thing I knew I was here, in the bright light of morn, where everything didn’t look quite so pretty.

  I teetered downstairs and made some honey on toast. I wasn’t that hungry but I needed sugary carbohydrates to make me feel better. And tea. Lots of it. I heard the thumping sounds of Brendon coming downstairs. He walked in and glared at me. He looked as shattered as I felt.

  “Where the hell were you last night? What time did you get in?”

  “Morning!” I smiled with fake cheeriness. I really didn’t need the Spanish inquisition right now. “I can’t remember,” I lied, “it was fairly late.”

  “Well it was way after midnight when I went to bed… Why were you out with your boss so late?”

  “It was an important restaurant review.” The World Service menu paled into insignificance next to the desserts that had followed at the office. I experienced a sudden sense of thrill and fear as I thought about it.

  After dropping the kids at school and making my way to work I spent the whole journey planning on how I was going to react to Colin. What I was going to say, how I was going to say it and how cool and composed I was going to be. I was thankful that this was my second to last day at work and this hadn’t happened in the midst of my career. As I approached the office from the street I was reminded of last night, like I was doing the walk of shame. I was dreading going in. I felt like a naughty schoolgirl which was ridiculous and I urged myself to get a grip.

  I walked into the office and said a general ‘Good morning’ to everyone around. I looked down the bottom of the corridor to Colin’s office as I made my way to my desk. I saw him standing talking to someone on his mobile and he watched me as I made my way through. I broke my gaze away as I couldn’t handle it. He was far enough away that I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, thank God. I felt like a stupid, bloody teenager.

  “Soph… You’re nearly leaving…” said Johnno in a sad voice.

  I smiled. “I’ve just bloody got here! Don’t start upsetting me. But if you make me a coffee I’ll visit you every week.”

  “Really?”

  “I promise to do my best. I will actually miss you.” I pulled a sad face and he wiped away a fake tear.

  “OK I’ll make you a coffee, but hold on, I’ve got you something.” He went to his desk and brought back a Clinton’s Card’s bag.

  I thanked him and opened it up to find a little grey teddy bear saying, Forever Friends.

  “Awwww, Johnno that’s so cute! I love him. You’re the best friend anyone could ever have,” I said sincerely. He was so nice. I watched him walk down the corridor, thankful I didn’t have to make my own drink as the kitchen was past Colin’s office and I couldn’t face that yet. As Johnno walked by it I flicked my eyes over to see Colin still standing talking and still looking down towards my desk.

  Jesus Christ, I thought.

  I fired up my computer and went on my word game whilst I waited for it to spark into life.

  The Voice still hadn’t played. Nor left a message. I still felt sad and hurt when my expectation was flattened.

  Johnno came back with my coffee.

  “You’re an angel,” I said, as I brought the hot drink to my mouth.

  “So how was the World Service? Colin said it was a great night.”

  “Yes it was very nice,” I replied, thinking that ‘Colin had said it was a great night,’ and running that through my mind.

  My desk phone buzzed and broke me out of my dream.

  “Soph, can you come through for a minute?” Colin said through my earpiece.

  My heart went into a mad aerobic rave and I was not sure my legs would carry me down the passageway. My brain kicked in as I made my way to his office. OK, this is it. Act as normal as possible. You’re a grown up. A woman of the world. It’s just one of those things. Normal. Everyday occurrence. Loads of people do this kind of thing.

  He was sat at his desk, nice and calm, with a happy smile. I glanced very quickly into his eyes, unable to keep up the eye contact. As I sat down, I saw the champagne bottle in the corner of the room and felt my cheeks flush a little. Oh God.

  I shuffled in his leather chair playing with my hands in my lap and wanting to burst out laughing with anxiety.

  “So, how do you feel?” He tilted his head on one side and smiled.

  “A bit rough to be honest.” This was excruciating already. How was he so together?

  “Soph…” He waited until I looked up. “How do you feel…about last night?”

  Here we go. The about last night speech.

  “Great film. One of Rob Lowe’s finest I think,” I replied, using humour, as usual, to get me out of a difficult conversation.

  “Soph…How do you feel?” he said flatly. OK. Now I was pissing him off. He obviously wanted this to be dealt with so life could carry on as normal.

  “Look…It’s one of those things. We’re both adults. We had too much to drink and…blah…you know,” I replied matter of factly.

  “Is that all?”

  “What do you mean?” Sometimes I just wished people would be more direct.

  “Did you enjoy yourself?”

  “What?” Oh God…really? “Yes Colin. I enjoyed myself. Did you?” Shit. What if he said no and I’d just said yes?

  “More than I imagined and I have a good imagination.” He gave me a wicked grin and I burst out laughing.

  “Right. Well, that’s great then.” I was crap at this kind of conversation.

  He sat there, just looking at me, all steady and confident and allowing the silence to go on too long for my liking. I didn’t know what to do so I started singing a Taylor Swift song in my head.

  “Soph…I’d like to make more of this, if you’d like to?”

  More of it? More of it how? Like booty calls or what? What did he mean? “As in…well… like, last night kinda thing?” I asked.

  Colin started laughing. “Well …yeah…that kinda thing definitely but more than that.“

  Too many thoughts, as usual, whirred in my head. Could I? Did I want to? He was gorgeous…it was fun… but…Colin was a free spirit and bored easily. It could ruin the friendship let alone the working relationship I’d need to maintain. I had kids and he didn’t. I had a Brendon. That was enough
to tip anyone over the edge. I came with more baggage than a 747. But that didn’t matter right now… I didn’t have money for fancy nights out anymore…I mean.. I couldn’t expect him to pay for everything. No way. How could it work?

  “Is that a no then?” he asked quietly, breaking my mind fill.

  “No, no, no. Yes. No…” I stumbled.

  “Which one Soph?” He looked deep into my eyes and I felt that pull from last night. Shit.

  “I’d like to throw caution to the wind and say yes. But, I’m not sure Colin. I don’t want to become one of your ‘Trudies’ and I don’t want to ruin our current relationship.” I looked at him directly and was proud of myself for being together and succinct.

  “Well I’m going to take that as a yes Soph…and you don’t even fall into the ‘Trudie’ bracket. Your qualities are unquantifiable.” He winked at me.

  I sat there, just looking at him.

  “So, let’s get down to it then,” he said.

  “Down to it? Here? …” I looked at him gone out.

  “To work?” he offered.

  Oh God, I thought. Of course. Yes, to work. Ugh. I felt like such a muppet. I stood up to leave.

  “I’ll speak to you later babe.” He looked up with his big blue eyes.

  Those eyes were going to kill me.

  “Ok then,” I said, and left his office like I’d just eaten a pile of hash brownies.

  Chapter 22

  It was my final day at work and I felt somewhat depressed. The end of an era and a doorway to a different adventure. A new beginning that would hopefully see my son get through to the end of school with decent qualifications to support his brilliant mind and get him on the his next journey, wherever that may be.

  I had my first meeting at Hillfields School this morning with Janice Armitage before I went to the office. I got ready slowly, savouring the moment and applying more effort than usual to my make up and attire. Tomorrow I’d be would be working from home after my school visit and would be able to dress how I pleased. Hmm, maybe I could go all boho hippy or something and invent a new me for my new role…Nah, maybe not.

  I made pancakes for the kids which was probably a mistake as I didn’t want them getting used to the idea. I left them in a warm oven whilst I opened the pile of letters on the side of the kitchen counter. Bills, more bills, an invite to neighbourhood watch and then a complete and utter shock. The large letter was addressed in floaty style, italic font and gilt edged. Maybe I’d won something? I opened it up and began to read:

  To Sophie Rhodes,

  Receipt for booking of Heavenly Spa Indulgence at Eden Hall.

  Set within acres of luscious lawns this beautiful listed mansion, built in 1875 will be your sanctuary for the day. Whether you want to refresh and revive or unwind and relax, the first class facilities make sure all of your needs are met.

  Whatever your pampering needs, escape to Eden hall for the perfect, peaceful getaway.

  Includes 3 course meal at our beautiful restaurant and:

  The relaxation day plus the Thalgo Indoceane Comforting Wrap. This is the ultimate therapy for those looking to pamper their skin. Enjoy soothing warm oils and light massage to the back and scalp followed by the application of a hydrating cream. Enveloped; drift away whilst these luxurious products hydrate and nourish the skin.

  Paid in full: £161.00

  What? I hadn’t bought that! I turned the letter over to see if they’d made a mistake or who it was from but there was nothing. Just the letter, a booklet that made me want to head for Zen land right this second and a number for me to call to book my preferred day. Who the hell was this from? I put the letter in my bag so I could deal with it when I got to work.

  We got to school and I parked up outside whilst Bryony and Brendon went in together. I made my way to reception to get my visitors pass.

  “Hi” I said to the receptionist, “I’m going to be here pretty much every day for the next few weeks so can I just have a month’s pass or something?”

  “No, sorry, It’s against our rules and regulations. You need to sign in and out every time…Is it for Mrs. Armitage?”

  “No,” I replied.

  “Oh…?”

  “Just kidding! Yes. For Mrs. Armitage. As usual.” These people had no concept of playfulness.

  Janice came down to collect me and we went upstairs to BASE. Brendon was already there removing all the white board pens.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “Stopping that freak boy from winding me up.”

  I looked at Janice, puzzled.

  “Yesterday, there was a pupil in here who was drawing on the white board. It’s what he likes to do. However, the pen was making a squeaking noise and Brendon didn’t like it. He told him to stop but the boy refused so Brendon snatched it out of his hand, removed all other pens and forced the boy to leave. Obviously it’s gone down as an incident,” she said.

  “Brendon! That’s nasty. It’s not up to you what other people do. Put those pens back now!” I scolded.

  “No. The noise does my head in. Not happening again.”

  “Brendon,” Janice pressed, “I’ve made sure he won’t be in here when you are. Plus now your timetable is cut down, it won’t be a problem. Put down the pens and sit down so we can go through your lesson plan now it’s been set. “

  We all sat down, Brendon still holding tight to the fat markers. We went through the timetable and Brendon and I were made a copy.

  “He’s doing well in most subjects,” Janice said, going through the reports, “though coursework needs updating. He can use some free time at The BASE to do that or at home. He is being put straight in for AS level for Ethics and philosophy because he’s extremely good at it.”

  I was surprised by that. I couldn’t picture Brendon as a philosopher. Maybe a professional hacker or a politician but a philosopher?”

  “Why do you like that so much?” I asked him.

  “Because you can argue and debate and change people’s opinions. There’s one girl in there that I hate though. She’s as thick as fuck and needs to be removed.”

  “Don’t be so rude and arrogant!” I wished he’d be more tolerant of people but I could never see it happening.

  “It’s true. She’s stupid. I think my teacher even agrees. He’s cool.” It was rare I heard Brendon call a teacher cool.

  “It’s the only lesson he’s never received a negative comment in, only positives.” Janice pulled a mock astonished face.

  Brendon was excused to go to his class and he put the pens in a cupboard, high up, that only he could reach before leaving.

  “Don’t worry, we’ve got ladders.” Janice said to me after he’d left, “sometimes it’s just not worth the argument.”

  The reality of the situation ahead of me started to settle and I slumped a little in the plastic, blue chair. “I need to make this work Janice. I’ve left my job for this and I want him to get his qualifications.”

  “We can do it. If we stick together then we should get him through. To be honest he has been relatively good lately, aside from the controlling and vigilante type behaviour, he hasn’t been that rude. I think that being on governors report has actually made him think. Not that he’d ever tell us that but he does raise his concerns with me sometimes.”

  I was glad that he did. Maybe things did seep through after all. I arranged to see Janice the following day and so forth and left the school feeling quite positive. However, I wasn’t going to hold my breath. I’d been on these momentary highs before only to have them slashed ten minutes later when he’d got excluded for the day. This was going to be a continuous battle of highs and lows but a battle I was now ready for.

  I arrived at work to find my desk covered in presents. I wanted to cry. Everyone gathered round whilst I opened them all up. I got a Starbucks card with £50 on so I could afford the odd luxury coffee when in town, three bottles of Rioja, a cinema ticket for the year so I could go out and watch films whenever I wan
ted, chocolates, a big mud pie from The Cheesecake Shop that Monica was already cutting into and a beautiful, silver bracelet with a four leafed clover charm, from Argento. When I opened my card I actually did start to shed a quiet tear as the messages were so touching.

  ‘I’ve never felt so upset about losing something but I want only the best for you Soph. You’d better come in EVERY week. Johnno XX’

  And then there was Colin’s.

  ‘You may be walking out of this office but I won’t let you walk out of our lives.’ Colin X’

  Where was Colin? I’d got so caught up with the immediate gathering that I’d only just noticed he wasn’t there. “Where’s Colin?” I asked the group.

  “He got called into a big meeting. He’ll be out most of the day.” Monica replied.

  I was devastated. He wasn’t here for my last day at work. Plus we hadn’t spoken since the ‘about last night’ speech and now I felt awkward and vulnerable. Maybe he’d had a change of heart.

  I sat tucking into my slice of mud pie as I packaged all my goodies away and set to actually doing some work. Suddenly my phone rang. It was Rhodes, Karl Rhodes.

  “Hello.” I greeted him.

  “Hi,” he replied without any emotion, “where on earth were you the other evening?”

  “What? Oh, you mean when I went to the World Service?”

  “I don’t know where you went except that you were with your boss. I had a phone call from Brendon at midnight wondering what to do and whether he should ring you. It woke me up. “

  “Oh. Sorry.” I couldn’t believe Brendon had called his Dad! Little snitch bag. He’d kept that one quiet.