Stacy Matthews - Dear Mary 01 - Think Twice Before You Order

by Stacy Matthews

  I asked him if he knew anything about Grandpa’s new girlfriend. He said he did but would rather tell me about her in person. I asked if he would at least tell me her name. He said it was Tatiana. I also asked how long they had been living together, and why am I only hearing about her now? He told me he would answer everything when he got back, which should be in a couple of hours. He hadn’t planned on coming back until morning but thought it would be best if he came over now and explained. He did not want me getting bad information because he remembered my tendency to overreact.

  One time my friend Debbie fell out of the tree and I ran to Charlie’s house and told him she was dead. Turns out she just had the wind knocked out of her. Maybe that was a little overreaction but he wasn’t giving me any credit for keeping my cool with Mrs. Ruby. He didn’t think there was anything to worry about, and thought Grandpa and Tatiana might have just gone out of town for a few days.

  Let’s do a quick recap: I haven’t talked to Grandpa for almost four days now, which isn’t all that unusual, but a little different. I find pictures of him and some young woman that is apparently his girlfriend. That’s a new one but I think I’m handling that pretty well. The old lady next door tells me this young woman is living with him, and there are people coming and going from the house at all times of the day and night. Charlie tells me there isn’t anything to worry about and I shouldn’t listen to the drunk next door, and he would tell me everything about her when he gets here this evening. I’ve been trying to think why Grandpa hasn’t told me about his new girlfriend. The only thing I can come up with is he may be embarrassed about the age difference between them. If that’s all it is, I can live with that. What I can’t live with is all this nervous energy. I’m going for a walk.

  Back in a few

  A few

  Dear Mary,

  You’ll never guess who I ran into. Grandpa Jon; I don’t know why we called him that he wasn’t anyone’s grandpa. He had to be a hundred and thirty back when I was a kid. He was sitting on his porch like always, and he still dresses in overalls. I went up and said hi to him. It took him a minute to figure out who I was, but once he recognized me a sweet look came over his face and he said, “Sid, it is so good to see you.” He invited me to sit on the porch with him and chat for a little while. He told me how his daughter Loren wanted him to move in with her, and how he does not want to. He said he did not want to be treated like an old person and he is perfectly capable of taking care of himself. I didn’t look inside the house, but the outside did not look in bad shape.

  He said the guys come over every Saturday to play poker, and during football season every other Sunday they come over to watch the game. They drink their beers and smoke cigars. He does not think Loren would let them do any of that. Besides there was not enough room at her house for all of his stuff and he is not ready to give up anything yet. Then there is the matter of his dog Homer. Loren would not let him keep Homer because she thinks dogs are worse than cigars. He told her if Homer had to go to the pound then he would too. He does not think that is any way to treat an animal, human or otherwise. He has this guilt thing down pat, Loren better watch out.

  It was nice sitting and listening to him talk, watching people out in their yards. It was very relaxing.

  He asked how things were going for Grandpa and his new girlfriend. Once again I stayed calm and acted like I knew everything. I’m starting to get good at this. I said things were fine and asked him when he had last seen Grandpa. He thought it had been about three days ago. I asked if he had seen a lot of people coming and going from the house, or if it seemed like there were people there at all times of the night and day. He said he really hadn’t seen many people there. A couple of times he had seen another man and woman. He asked if I had talked to Mrs. Ruby, I said yes that was who told me there were people coming and going at all times of the day and night. He said that sounded like something she would say, and told me I should not listen to her because she says the same thing about the guys when they come over to play poker. They only come over once a week but to hear her tell it, they practically live there. He didn’t seem to think anything too terrible was going on at Grandpa’s. That makes me feel somewhat better.

  Apparently Grandpa’s new girlfriend is the talk of the neighborhood. Grandpa Jon said he and the other guys sure would like to have a girlfriend like that, and wanted to know if I would ask Grandpa where he met her. I told him I would, but I thought he had his hands full with the guys, Homer and Loren.

  He got this cute little grin on his face and said it would be a chance he is willing to take. We talked a little longer then it was time for me to get back to the house and get ready for Charlie.

  Talk to you later

  Evening, June 7th

  Dear Mary,

  Charlie got here around seven. He said there were a few reasons he wanted to talk to me about this “situation” in person. It’s gone from nothing to worry about to a situation, great. He said as he was driving back he was trying to think of a way to break this to me. The only thing he could come up with was to just come right out and tell me, so he blurted out, “Tatiana is not your grandfather’s girlfriend, she’s his wife.”

  As if on cue my entire body went numb, I could tell because I could see Charlie’s lips moving, but I couldn’t hear anything, and I started getting that sick feeling in my stomach again. The color must have drained from my face, as Charlie had to help me sit down then grabbed my shoulders and I could see his lips forming the words “Sid are you all right?” NO, I’m not all right. Then came the barrage of questions. How was this the first I’m hearing about this woman? I thought Grandpa and I had been getting much closer over the last year. Why would he keep something like this from me? When did they get married? Why did everyone in town think she was Grandpa’s girlfriend? Charlie sat down beside me and tried to explain everything. He said a couple of months after his wife died Grandpa would try to get him out of the house. It may have just been to the mall to drink coffee and people watch. They would sometimes meet their other friends there and listen to these men talk about the dates they had gone on, and how terrible they had been. At some point they all started joking about how much easier it was to find a wife back in their Grandfathers day. Back then they ordered them through the mail. No fuss no muss. Pick her out, pay for her, and you had yourself a new mail order bride.

  My mind was racing, and I think I was starting to lose my hearing again when all of the sudden I heard someone scream, “MY GRANDFATHER HAS A MAIL ORDER BRIDE?” Crap it was me. Charlie said, “Well yes, I guess he does.” He said one day about ten months ago Grandpa called and asked him for a ride to the airport to pick up his soon-to-be wife. Charlie thought Grandpa was pulling his leg until they got to the airport and she walked off the plane. He said Tatiana was pretty, and was fifty-three years old. That means my step- Grandma is ten years older than me. I didn’t say anything, I remained calm or maybe numb is a better word for it.

  When he and Grandpa were going over arrangements for the wedding, he asked Grandpa if he would need to go to the airport and pick me up. Grandpa told him things were so busy for me at work I would not be able to get away for the wedding. Charlie said the wedding was very informal, and only he and another woman were present. Grandpa did tell Charlie that he did not think people in town would approve of the way he met Tatiana, so he was going to let everyone think she was only his girlfriend. I told Charlie about the other woman and man Grandpa Jon had seen with Grandpa and Tatiana. Charlie said he had not seen them before, but it wouldn’t surprise him if there had been a couple over to visit. The agency Grandpa used gave him the name of several groups that were for couples who were in the same situation. Whatever country your wife is from is the group you would join. Oh, before I forget Tatiana is from Russia. The groups give the women a chance to be around other women from the same country, so they do not feel isolated. They go to one another’s homes, have dinner, take weekend trips, and those types of things.

/>   Out of everything I have heard about this situation so far, this is the only thing that has made sense. Charlie thought it may have been a couple they had met there, or it may have been Dr. Niemeyer and his wife. AH, Dr. Niemeyer, I jumped in. Who is he? I told Charlie I found the doctors name and number in the address book. He said the first couple of months Tatiana had been here were great. Grandpa seemed to be so happy. They did everything, boating, dancing; she even learned how to fish. It was around the third month that Grandpa told Charlie he thought Tatiana had some kind of addiction problem. Great, that’s just what he needs. Grandpa said he noticed some things around the house missing, nothing big, just small things. The liquor seemed to be disappearing. Grandpa told Charlie one of the men in the group had told him about Dr. Niemeyer. Apparently this man had a similar problem with his wife. Charlie said Grandpa made an appointment for Tatiana that next week.

  Dr. Niemeyer said Tatiana would need to come in for three appointments. After that he would be able to assess what type of treatment plan would work best for her. So far that doesn’t sound unreasonable. When the third session was over the doctor called Grandpa and said Tatiana should have one session a day. I thought that sounded a little excessive, and according to Charlie so did Grandpa, but he told Charlie Tatiana thought it would help her. After going every day for three weeks, Dr. Niemeyer called Grandpa into the office and told Grandpa he thought it would be best if Tatiana moved in with him and his wife. Grandpa thought this was over the top, but Tatiana told Grandpa she thought it would help her. Charlie said if Grandpa would have told him about this before Grandpa agreed to let her go, he would have told him it was a bad idea.

  Now I know the doctor I went to was an entirely different thing, but I would NEVER have thought about moving in with her and her husband. I still can’t believe Grandpa let Tatiana move in. I don’t know him as well as I thought obviously, but has he completely lost his mind?

  I have come to realize there are certain things in my life that will always be a constant. The flyer for the fifty percent off sale will always be in my mailbox the day after the sale, I will always have to buy three boxes of Girl Scout cookies from every woman I work with that has a daughter, and everyone will always be able to tell what I am thinking just by looking at my face. I have tried to work on the last one, but it never seems to take. The other two I’ve just come to accept.

  Unfortunately, Charlie was right in face-viewing range, and jumped in with the fact that Grandpa genuinely cares for Tatiana. Grandpa also knew it wasn’t the ideal way of getting a wife, but he was trying to make the best of it, and wanted to make sure Tatiana got the help she needed. Charlie kept telling Grandpa he needed to tell me how he and Tatiana had met, but Grandpa was pretty sure I would have a big problem with the way the marriage had been arranged, and then what with the problems Tatiana was having he thought it would be too much.

  Apparently Grandpa started keeping to himself once Tatiana’s problems came to light. Charlie said he didn’t know the extent of the problems until after Tatiana had moved out, and Grandpa came over to his house to tell him the whole story.

  My head was spinning. My Grandpa went on the Internet and got a mail order bride. As I was sitting there holding my head Charlie came over and put his hand on my shoulder. He said the most crucial thing we need to do now is figure out where they are and make sure they are safe and sound. He was right. I have never been remotely close to a situation like this. What do we do? Where do we start? Should we call the police again and make a missing person’s report? Charlie said he didn’t think that was necessary yet. It could be that Grandpa and Tatiana went out of town. Dr. Niemeyer would come up with “bonding weekends” for couples to take so they may be on one of those.

  Charlie said he had been a little suspicious from the beginning but when Dr. Niemeyer had Tatiana move in the red flags went up, and whistles started going off. He contacted a man he used to work with named Mark and asked if he could help find some information on the doctor. Charlie had been over at Mark’s when I got into town. He said they have some theories but nothing concrete. At this point they really think Grandpa and Tatiana could be having a long weekend. Charlie said he needed to get back to Mark’s but would come back in the morning to fill me in on the rest of the information they were going over. He wanted to know if he needed to bring anything for breakfast. I told him not to worry; I would have coffee and breakfast waiting for him.

  Talk to you in the morning

  Can’t sleep

  Dear Mary,

  I know Charlie said he doesn’t think there is anything to worry about, and I’m not terribly worried, more curious than anything. I want to meet Grandpa’s girlfriend. I know they are married, but right now it’s easier for me to think of her as a girlfriend. I’ll work my way up to wife, but that one is going to take a little time.

  I went through all the paperwork on the desk to make sure I hadn’t missed anything that might indicate where they had gone. I had not. As I was going from the kitchen to the computer room, I noticed that nothing in the house had really changed. The furniture was the same, knickknacks and what not. From what I can remember everything is like it was when Grandma was alive. I think that is odd don’t you? Wouldn’t you think if Tatiana is Grandpa’s girlfriend and she had been living here she would have put her touch on the house, or at the least put some of her own things out?

  I know I should be trying to rest, but to be honest the only bedroom I had ever liked was the room Grandma made for me. I don’t know if Grandpa was trying to be hip, or just trying to impress his girlfriend, but my room had been made into the computer room. I’m going with “trying to impress his girlfriend”. If Grandpa’s anything like dad, which he seems to be, his idea of redecorating a room before Tatiana came into the picture would be to move around the furniture that was already there.

  Now my mother on the other hand was a master at it. Oh sure she acted like she was upset when I left for college, but I think she was a little happy to have her house all to herself. I think Mom may have waited an hour after I left and then made my room into a sewing room. She hated to sew but said she had always wanted a sewing room. What kind of sense does that make? Then it became her workout room. She didn’t work out either. I am seeing a pattern here, how about you? She did love to decorate and of course every time she changed the room she got to re-decorate. She would get new paint, drapes and new carpet. Dad said he was happy it was just one room and not the entire house, so he didn’t care how many times she changed it.

  I decided to get on the computer and see if I could find anything on mail order brides. I went to Google, typed in “mail order bride” and could not believe how many sites came up. I found one article that was very intriguing. It said the country where most of the modern day mail order brides come from is Russia. There has been a revival of the practice since the collapse of the Soviet Union; a lot of the women there are looking for husbands in the United States. Since jobs in Russia are hard to find, especially for women, they look at it as their way out.

  Basically it said that both the bride and groom are taking risks in getting married this way. The women hope the men they end up with aren’t going to abuse them physically or mentally. The men are hoping once they have paid for everything, there is not a family emergency and the bride goes back home with whatever money is in the account and never returns. The grooms also have to keep in mind the brides are not citizens of this country until they have been married for two years, so there is the chance the bride may take off after the two-year mark.

  The actual process is very easy. There are a number of agencies that men can sign up with to meet these women through e-mail. Most of the agencies charge one hundred to two hundred dollars a year for the membership fee. Most of the men belong to several of the agencies to increase the chance of finding Mrs. Right. If they find a woman they like, they can set up a tour with the agency and actually go over to the country and meet the woman in person, or pay all the expenses and h
ave the woman meet them here. If all goes well they can get married there, or they can get married here.

  It is quite amazing how many men from this country find their wives this way. They aren’t just old men. The article said most of them are in the age bracket of thirty-seven to forty-five. It is just amazing to me that this sort of thing is still going on. If I hadn’t read it I would not have believed it.

  Later

  June 8th

  Dear Mary,

  Charlie called at eight and said there were still a few things he and Mark were looking into and it was going to take most of the day. He figured they wouldn’t get into town until late tonight so he would see me in the morning. That cancelled everything I had planned for today, so I got on the computer and checked my work e-mail. I know I’m on leave and shouldn’t be worried about any of that stuff, but there were a couple of things I wanted to check on. Everything seemed fine. In fact they seem to be getting along just great without me. I’m not sure how I feel about that. Part of me is ok with it, and the other part would like to think they could not live without me.

  I surfed the web a little more and then thought since it was such a beautiful day I needed to get out and take a walk, besides the exercise would do me good. As I was walking down the street, I saw Mrs. Bartley planting some flowers around the tree in her front yard. I went over and said hi, and I swear she jumped about three feet off the ground. Once she got over the initial shock she gave me a hug. She said, “Sid I had no idea you were in town. Your grandpa didn’t say anything about you coming to visit.” I didn’t want to worry her, so I said I was going to surprise Grandpa by dropping in, but the surprise was on me seeing as how he was not home. Maybe it’s just me, but she doesn’t seem to have aged since I was a kid. She’s a little plumper than when I saw her last year. That is pretty good for a woman her age.