Meeting Mr Write

by Cassandra P Lewis

  “Oh Rosie, I’m so happy that you have writers block!” she stops briefly like she’s realised how that sounds, “I mean I love you, and of course I want you to have another best freakin’ seller, but I need this holiday, and so do you!” I know she’s right but I am nervous, I mean its Thailand. I have no idea what to expect, the closest I’ve got to eating Thai food are Walker’s Thai Sweet Chilli crisps.

  “Do you think they’ll understand English?”

  “Rosie, its 2012, I’m sure they’ll understand enough, and besides, you’ve got your pocket book. Surely that will prepare you for any eventuality” I can’t see her face clearly enough through the steam, but the sarcasm in her voice translates loud and clear.

  “I like to be prepared” I declare almost defensively, before I pull Rosie back to the room “besides, I don’t want to get stuck while you’re off shagging the world and his mate, do I?”

  “Oh you bitch! For your information, his mate can’t make it!” She always knows how to make me laugh; it will be a great holiday I’m certain of that, I just need to learn to relax.

  Philippa Carvalho is beautiful. She is twenty-six, five foot ten, and size ten with perfect curves, long legs and equally long black hair. We’ve been friends since we were four years old. She was scouted for a model agency at fifteen and did just enough jobs to afford to buy some expensive photography equipment, declaring that she preferred to be behind the camera, rather than in front of it. She has a weakness for shoes, champagne and blondes, well, men in general actually. I can’t say that I approve of her extreme promiscuity, but I don’t judge her for it either, she’s always careful, and like she says “It’s a lifestyle choice!” besides, it has certainly played a part in my success. My sex life is decidedly less exciting than hers, and I’m certainly less confident. So her stories have made for some interesting inspiration!

  If there’s one thing Pippa does well, it’s, well, sex, but if there’s another, it’s shopping! “come on Alvez, you cannot wear the clothes that you bought for your honeymoon, they’ll remind you of dick face and besides, it’s not like you’re broke, so get your cards out you tart, we’re going shopping!”

  “Yes yes yes, you better buy that, you look hot Rosie!”

  “Hmm, I feel a bit, exposed?” I bite my lip nervously while examining my reflection in the floor length mirror.

  “Rosetta! You’re wearing a bikini, would you rather a wet suit?” Pippa laughs and leaves me to go and load up her second shopping basket. I envy her self-confidence. She doesn’t need to try anything on; she has a great figure and knows exactly what suits it.

  After five hours looking at playsuits, bikinis and maxi dresses my feet hate me and I am starving, there is one way guaranteed to pull Carvalho away from Selfridges and that’s Nandos.

  “Mmmmm I love chicken I love chicken” Pippa is doing her ‘I love chicken dance’ she’s so adorable. My version of Pippa is fun and free and childlike, but put a model in front of her at a shoot and she is terrifyingly organised and authoritarian. I love that I get this version.

  “Good distraction sugar pie, but you’re not getting away with it that easy, we have tanning oil to buy for me, and factor One Twenty for you Ginge!”

  “I’ll have you know you aren’t the only one who turns into a brown bear in the sun, don’t let the hair fool you!” I flick my hair behind my shoulder dramatically,

  “Speaking of hair, we need to get you waxed, don’t want your ginger bush scaring off the lovely boys” Pip smiles her butter wouldn’t melt grin,

  “Oh I see how it’s gonna be, it’s on!” I throw my napkin at her face while she giggles hysterically.

  “You can get this one; I’m saving for a wax!” I wink; she pays cash and links my arm as we head out of the restaurant.

  “Love you Rosie, thanks for this!”

  “Back at you babe!”

  Chapter Four

  “I can’t believe you’re going to Thailand sis” Rafe sips at his coffee and pouts like a child that’s had his toys taken away “I mean, I’m proud of you babe, you need it. But fuck me I’m jealous!”

  I love my brother, next to Pippa he is absolutely my best friend, “I wish you could come too Rafe, I’m a bit scared. Fear of the unknown I guess” I shrug my shoulders uncomfortably

  “Nah don’t be daft, you’ll be fine. You know I’d be there if I could RoRo, I just can’t shut this place down for 3 weeks. You’ve got Pip Squeak though, she’ll look after you!” he chuckles into his coffee.

  When I was about thirteen, I convinced myself that Rafe was going to marry Pippa and she’d be my sister for real, little did I know that instead of chasing each other, they’d be competing for the same men. Rafe came out when he was seventeen; he said he felt safe knowing that we can do no wrong in our parents’ eyes; they were just pleased that they now understood why he’d never brought a girlfriend home.

  The first couple of years were hard for Rafe, we lived in a village and it wasn’t exactly a buzzing metropolis, so meeting people and having experiences that allowed him to explore his sexuality was not the easiest of things. Rafe was twenty when I went to university and he convinced our parents that they should help us find a place together, and it was the best thing that ever happened to either of us. Rafe got a job managing the student union bar and I got to have my brother close by. When Pippa came to live with us shortly after we moved in, they soon developed their own little game of choose a guy and get him into bed, whether he was gay or straight was irrelevant.

  I have a lot of gay friends, any university course with the word creative in the title is bound to have its fair share of flamboyant characters, and they pretty much all fit the stereotypes, but you wouldn’t know that Rafe was gay unless he told you. He and Matthew are your typical blokes. They love sport and beer and laugh at fart jokes just like every man I’ve ever met, they just dress slightly better.

  “Are you staying over tonight then?” I ask, already knowing the answer. Whenever Rafe’s boyfriend is away with work he stays over with me for DVD and wine night

  “Course I am beaut, I’ll bring the wine, you get the chocolate. I’ll be over once I’ve closed up” Rafe owns a really cool coffee shop, one with beanbags and books on the tables and an acoustic guitarist is almost a permanent fixture in the corner. Rafael’s is one of my favourite places to write, and the lemon drizzle cake is to die for.

  Later that night Rafe turns up with two bottles of cab sav and the Beach on DVD, “To prepare you for your big adventure we have the lovely Leo DiCaprio…although do not follow in his footsteps as his Thailand experience is kind of messed up!”

  We get comfy, order a pizza and get ready to watch the film when Rafe’s phone rings, I see that it’s Matthew and pick it up,

  “Hey Matty! Brother/sister time here, piss off!” I laugh down the phone,

  “Hey Ginge sorry, I just need a quick word, is he there?” I pass the phone to Rafe whose face lights up at the sound of Matthew’s voice,

  “Hi” he smiles down the phone like he couldn’t be any happier “Really? Oh baby that’s fantastic!” I try to mime to Rafe to get him tell me what he’s talking about but he just shoos me away “you really are the best you know, thank you. Ok, love you, night” he hangs up the phone, smiles and resumes the optimal film watching position,

  “What was that all about?” I question excitedly, “it sounded good”

  “Nothing sister! Press play!” Rafe stares blankly ahead as he always does when he’s trying to hide something from me,

  “Rafael Patrick Alvez…Spill!” I sit directly in front of him so he can’t avoid my questioning,

  “Rosie, it’s nothing, just a dirty weekend away with the man of my dreams. Do you want details?” he pushes me back on to my side of the bed,

  “Um no you’re ok” I pull a face as if to say keep it to yourself Alvez “although I’m a little jealous, I’d kill for a dirty three minutes let alone a weekend!” I’m deadly serious; it’s been ten months since
I’ve been anywhere near a man that isn’t related in some way,

  “Well baby girl, you have three weeks in paradise to get as dirty as you want. Just bag up and wash well. Now will you press bloody play?”

  I don’t know whether the film made me excited for the holiday or filled me with dread, but either way I went to sleep thinking of white sand beaches and sunshine, and maybe a dirty three minutes here or there.

  Chapter Five

  “FINAL CALL FOR FLIGHT TG911, THAI AIRWAYS FLIGHT TO BANGKOK”

  “Shit Rosie, hurry, damn the duty free!”

  “Pippa, when have you ever been on time for anything?” I call back as we run for our boarding gate,

  “Sawasdee Ka, Welcome” The stunning Thai stewardess smiles without a hint of frustration at our lateness as we step on board, her hands held together in front of her like she is praying. Mr James kindly informed me in his book that this is called a ‘Wai’ and I return the gesture out of respect.

  The stewardess shows us to our seats in business class, all thanks to my last novel ‘Bridge over Troubled Water’, a bestseller, eighteen months ago. We take our seats, stow everything away and buckle up for taxiing.

  “Rosetta Penelope Alvez, I have never been so glad to be your friend” Pippa declares stretching her legs to explore the extra leg room. I laugh; I’d be lost without this girl!

  Once the seat belt lights are off, Pippa wastes no time calling for in-flight service, “Hi, could we have 4 vodka and orange juices please, we’re celebrating!”

  “Celebrating what?” I question as the attentive steward goes to fetch our drinks.

  “You, finally removing that stick from your arse!” the resulting fits of giggles indicate that our holiday has begun.

  Pippa is bored of the in-flight movie already, the girl is unbelievably inpatient; she grabs my travel guide and decides it’s time to do some research “So, Mr James…what do you have to say about Krabi then” she begins to read aloud from the book in her best Lloyd Grossman voice.

  “Krabi is a fantastic place, like the billboard says, lively town, lovely people” the impression soon fades and Pippa is back “be sure to visit Tiger Cave Temple, wear sensible shoes and cover up. Climb at five am for an amazing sunrise at the top!” she stops and leans her head back, snoring dramatically “Oh Jackson James, you disappoint…what I want to know is where to get trashed and meet the man of my dreams!” nobody finds Pippa as funny as she does herself and she chuckles.

  “Good Morning Ladies” without so much as a hello, a man stands over us and interjects on our conversation, wow he’s gorgeous, I blush. Oh wait, he’s the bulldozer! “If it’s a good time you’re after, here’s my card. I’ll be in Krabi in a few days, give me a call and I’ll show you around”

  “Jackson James, Travel Writer Extraordinaire, ha! You seriously had that printed on your cards?” Pippa never had much of an internal filter.

  He smiles at me while Pippa appears oblivious that it’s his book she is reading, does he recognise me? Wow, he is really yummy, but way too arrogant for my liking, I mean, Travel Writer Extraordinaire…who does that?

  “I’ve seen you before haven’t I? At Gold Square?” he rests his arm casually on the seat in front and the sight of his toned bicep causes my cheeks to flush slightly,

  “I believe it was you that almost flattened me Mr James; you really should watch where you’re going”

  “Again, I apologise. What were you doing at my publishers anyway, are you an assistant or something?”

  “I don’t think the assistants travel in business class Jackson” Pippa catches up “This is Rosie Alvez, romance novelist extraordinaire” she winks,

  “Ah, romance…I guess that means you know a thing or two about what women want? Perhaps you can enlighten me sometime Ms Alvez?”

  He tilts his head and I notice the sarcastic smile he’s giving me; he obviously knows that I haven’t written anything in forever! I smile, pull my sleep mask on and lean back, shutting him out.

  “Well then, Ms Alvez, Ms…”

  “Carvalho, Philippa…but call me Pippa”

  “Pippa, it’s been a pleasure…maybe see you on the other side” and I presume he’s gone back to his seat as the next thing I know I’m being slapped on the arm by my best friend.

  “ROSIE!” she pulls off my mask “that was really fucking rude!”

  “What? He was a sleaze Pippa, an arrogant one at that! I mean who just strolls up and starts talking to people on a plane? And what’s with all the ‘extraordinaire’ bollox?”

  “Rosie, they’re not all the same you know. He heard us reading from his book and thought he’d say hey, besides, he was hot” she looks at me, and I know she’s right, it was rude “In a way though, I’m glad you scared him off because it was a pleasure to watch him walk away” she grins mischievously turning his business card in her hands.

  “Carvalho, get some sleep…and behave!”

  “LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, WE ARE BEGINNING OUR DESCENT INTO BANGKOK SUVARNABHUMI AIRPORT, LOCAL TIME IS SIX FIFTEEN AM. WE HOPE YOU HAVE ENJOYED YOUR FLIGHT AND HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN SOON. THANK YOU FOR FLYING THAI AIRWAYS, KHOP KHUN KRAP”

  The seatbelt lights are on and I feel a pang of anxiety, fear of the unknown I guess, it doesn’t last long though, Pippa grabs my hand and gives me her excited grin, mouthing “OH MY GOD!” and we’re down, with a hell of a bump onto Thai soil, let’s do this.

  Chapter Six

  Ahh, Bangkok…I love this city. It’s all go, all the time, but there are places where you can find moments of absolute serenity. I’m only here for a couple of days and then I’m heading south to Krabi. I want to chill out down there for a bit before the real work starts. While I’m in Bangkok I’ve decided to stay in a hostel. Hotels are great but hostels are a buzz, you meet so many interesting people and exchange great information and stories, it’s a writer’s dream. I wonder where Ms Alvez is seeking her inspiration, a five star hotel I imagine.

  I love to people watch; it gives you the chance to really soak up the atmosphere and the culture of a place. First night in Bangkok and I’m sitting alone at an outdoor table of a restaurant watching the world go by. Street food carts, market traders, girls trying to coax people into bars, nervous tourists trying to take it all in and the older western men with young Thai girls (or ladyboys) on their arms. I am used to this sight now but I won’t lie, it was a shock when I first visited Thailand. Some of the women that you see here are mind meltingly stunning, you can’t always tell if they are actually women, but they’re nice to look at regardless. I like to look, but I don’t touch. The sex trade in Thailand is not really something that I wholly approve of, each to their own, but I think this amazing place has so much more to offer than girly bars and ladyboy shows. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of fun in Thailand, but usually with backpackers or ex pats, the threesome with those two Aussies in Phuket being the most memorable.

  Right now though, I’m happy to sit and watch the world go by, taking it all in. I have a nice cold Singha beer and I’m eating some barbecued chicken and a papaya salad, spicy, the best way to eat it. I can’t help but wonder how many people have read my book and ordered the same, Ms Alvez I wonder, nah it’ll be a club sandwich and fries, I’m certain. I’ve got a long day of exploring ahead of me tomorrow so it’s time to get some sleep, back at the hostel I head up to my room, taking the lone American blonde from the lobby with me… I love Thailand.

  The next morning I immerse myself in the tourist traps of Bangkok. I know that I said this book would be ‘off the beaten track’ but you’ve got to tell people about the ‘not to miss’ as well. I am going to spend the afternoon at Grand Palace. Grand is definitely the right word, the place is amazing; you can spend hours looking at the history and architecture. Before the Palace though, it’s an early start soaking up the atmosphere of the floating markets. It’s a buzz, there’s all sorts of smells, fuel from boats, food cooking, fish etc. people calling out trying to sell th
eir wares and to watch is almost as exciting as listening. There are boats and people everywhere, food and merchandise all over the place. Some westerners may find this place intimidating but I feel strangely calm here, amongst the craziness. I feel completely welcome and safe in the company of the wonderful Thai people going about their daily business.

  As the day rolls on, I head back to the hostel for a shower and change of clothes, Lucia, an Italian girl I met this morning has invited me to join her on a dinner sunset cruise on the Chao Phraya River and well let’s face it, what kind of a man would I be to let a beautiful woman travel alone?

  “Wow, Rosie this is AWESOME!” Pippa is easily pleased, we booked a three star hotel in Ao Nang, I read in the book that three stars in Thailand is like five star back home, and I have to agree, this is beautiful. “Right then, bikini on, Kindle in hand…pool!” she frowns at me and places her hands on her hips “Rosie, it’s the first day, put the laptop down, you need to relax!”

  As much as I hate to admit it, she’s right I do. Since Michael left, I have been so tense, I put too much pressure on myself to try and be perfect and it just causes me to constantly fuck up, how can I possibly meet my own unrealistic expectations of myself?

  “I know I know, you’re right, I need food though Pip, and a drink!”

  “Pool bar Rosie, pool bar” there’s that grin again.

  Hmm, I could get used to this, I’ve never felt heat like it, it’s warming me right through to my bones. For a red head, I have unusually olive skin. Thank god my Irish mother married a Spaniard! I couldn’t bear to be one of those gingers that burns after five seconds, I love the sun. Pippa is already quite dark skinned and she goes an amazing colour in a frankly unacceptable amount of time. Her mother is Indian and her Dad is Portuguese. At school we bonded over our mixed up heritage and grew up proud to be different,